Welcome to Charm City

October 5th, 2012 · 30 comments

Spotted by Matt in Baltimore, Maryland…

Are you the fuckface who was parked on Eastern a few weeks back for close to a week taking up 2 spots? Maybe parking isn't tight in NY, but in Charm City, we like to think of our neighbors! Learn how to park A-hole!  Dear Person who wrote this Note, Sorry, but I wasn't the person who parked on Eastern Ave. a few weeks ago and took up two spaces. I know, all black sedans look the same. An honest mistake, I'm sure. However, I didn't appreciate being called a

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

FILED UNDER: Baltimore · most popular notes of 2012 · Oops? · parking

30 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Cake

    Absolutely charming!

    Oct 5, 2012 at 2:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   sanetoolong

    I’m really digging the “Let’s go O’s” at the bottom. Best retort ever.

    Oct 5, 2012 at 2:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Lauren

    Did he… duct tape his own windshield…?

    Oct 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Joe

      That looks more like gaffers tape.

      Oct 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Jordie

      It’s got to be electric tape. No one’s stupid enough to use gaffer’s tape; that stuff rips skin off. I’d hate to see what it would do to a car.

      Oct 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Who passed out the Haterade?

      What kind of gaffer’s tape are you thinking of? The kind I’ve seen is used to tape cables down so people don’t trip over them, and can be easily removed without leaving a residue by pulling from either end.

      Oct 7, 2012 at 8:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   shepd

      Even if it were cheap duct tape, it’s only on the glass. 2 seconds with some acetone on a rag (and some caution it doesn’t touch the paint nor trim) and it’s gone, damage free. So long as she doesn’t leave the tape on there for days on end…

      And yes, I know windshields have plastic in them. It’s literally IN them, so no worries about the acetone.

      Oct 7, 2012 at 11:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   shwo! bang

    So he’s really an O-hole?

    Oct 5, 2012 at 3:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Fob at BobJob

    I have one question… How did the owner of the car know that the “other” car was also a black sedan?

    Oct 5, 2012 at 3:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Murpedo

      Because the original note-writer mistook his car for the “other” car.

      Oct 5, 2012 at 4:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   falnfenix

    oh, Baltimore…

    Oct 5, 2012 at 5:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   meri

    what? No ‘bad park you’ in the comments yet?

    Oct 5, 2012 at 8:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Roto13

    Ooooh, snap, he just played the sedan race card.

    Oct 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Anonymous


      Oct 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Ace of Space

    Ok. I’ll do it.

    Bad Park You!

    Oct 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Anonymous

    Best PA note response ever.

    Oct 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Merri

    It’s interesting that they say the car was parked in the 2 spots for 2 weeks, but, in that time, they never got the plate number so there would be no mistake when they placed their pa note on the windshield. Brilliant.

    Oct 6, 2012 at 7:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   FeRD bang

      Seems, to me, slightly more amazing that he or she fumed for “close to a week” about the other car’s parking transgressions, did nothing about it at that time, yet held on to all that anger and indignation so strongly!

      To the point where, even after “a few weeks” more had gone by, the sight of a car that might possibly be the same one (by the note’s own implied admission) prompted an angry note… Even though, presumably, there was nothing to complain about re: its parking at that time. (Or I’m sure it would have been mentioned.)

      Talk about “drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die”. Holy wow.

      Oct 7, 2012 at 8:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Lil'

    I owned a black car several years ago, and one day I came out of the grocery store to find that someone had smeard make up all over the doors and drawn a giant “X” on the hood. I felt immediately it was a case of mistaken identity, but now I understand why. Crazy chick used waterproof make-up. It took me two days to get it all off.

    Oct 6, 2012 at 8:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Ely North

    One time a car was parked in front of my house, and it was blocking about 3 inches of the driveway. My roommate was pissed and wanted to leave a similar note on the car berating the driver’s parking abilities and sensibilities. I talked him out of it. This was in Trenton, NJ, so there was a good chance that the car owner had a gun and would have shot us.

    Oct 6, 2012 at 9:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   H for Toy

    Dear Note Writer,

    You recommend the owner of the badly parked car to think of his neighbors. Perhaps you were the neighbor he was thinking of when he intentionally took two parking spots.

    Oct 6, 2012 at 9:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Dane Zeller

    To the wronged black car owner (“black,” meaning the color of the car): sometimes the best retort is a simple one. How about:


    Oct 6, 2012 at 10:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Juniper

    But if he wasn’t the person taking up two spaces and parking badly, then he isn’t the one being called fuckface and a-hole.

    Oct 6, 2012 at 10:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Ashes

    I like to imagine that similar notes were found on black sedans all over Baltimore that weekend.

    Oct 6, 2012 at 11:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   havingfitz

    Miss Simmons Charm School: success guaranteed or F* you!

    Oct 6, 2012 at 3:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Vulpis

    The thing that amuses me most about the second picture is that the note serves as a multi-tasker–it’s a PAN *and* a pretty effective sun-shield to keep the direct sunlight from roasting the car interior! :-) More creative than those giant sunglasses-looking things…

    Oct 6, 2012 at 6:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Rainne

    This is why I put stickers on my car glass. Nobody mistakes me for anyone else.

    Oct 7, 2012 at 8:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   We shall speak anon

    I’m imagining McNulty leaving the first note, and Stringer Bell as the respondent.

    Ah, Baltimore.

    Oct 8, 2012 at 11:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Plain Jane

    I love that they are in *Charm* City.

    Oct 13, 2012 at 2:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   oakmom

    Recently my husband parked behind a Mini Cooper in an expensive residential hood. The Mini was right up against the curb cut for a driveway. When we returned, the Mini was gone, leaving a small spot right before the driveway. The owner of that driveway was trimming hedges when we returned. As we started to get in the car, she politely said to us “Hi – can I just tell you something?”. We smile, expecting some polite chat. Instead she said “It’s really rude to park like that – you should have moved up.” Taken aback, but determined to be polite (our child was with us!) I said “Oh, sorry, but you know, there WAS a small car there, and since we don’t come here often and we won’t park in front of your house again. No worries!”. To which she replies “Yeah, well you’re a fucking idiot, parking like that!”. Shocked, I then had to add “Really? You’re going to talk to me like that in front of my child?” And she turned back to her hedges muttering obscenities. People…!!!

    Oct 24, 2012 at 1:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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