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It’s not an argument; it’s a discussion.

October 7th, 2012 · 63 comments

Explains Melissa in Virginia: “As many couples probably do, my fiancé and I have had an ongoing discussion about his propensity to leave cabinet doors and drawers open.” Melissa insists she’s not aggravated by the open cabinets — she just feels the need to bring the issue to his attention.

Then, last week, Melissa was thrilled to receive a beautiful flower arrangement at her office. “Then I opened the damn card!”

Hi Honey, I closed a cabinet door just now and thought of you.  Love, Steve

related: Really, though — carnations?

FILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · love & marriage · most popular notes of 2012 · Northern Virginia · opening/closing

63 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Ha!


    Oct 7, 2012 at 7:49 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #2   Dee

    Okay, not gonna lie, that’s pretty funny. XD

    Oct 7, 2012 at 7:51 pm   rating: 109  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Dr_Know

      …and completely adorable!

      I’d say you’ve got a winner there, Melissa!

      Oct 8, 2012 at 7:16 am   rating: 56  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Poltergeist

      I’d say this is pretty much the perfect note. It manages to be lighthearted and humorous while being incredibly PA.


      Oct 9, 2012 at 12:46 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #3   Kendra

    That’s something my husband would do!!

    Oct 7, 2012 at 7:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Purr Monster

      Amen to that, Kendra!

      Oct 7, 2012 at 9:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #4   NayNay

    Brilliant! She sounds like a pain in the ass, anyway.

    Oct 7, 2012 at 7:54 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   kermit

      Maybe she is a pain in the ass because she has a pain in her ass from bumping into all the damn cabinet doors he leaves open.

      Oct 7, 2012 at 8:02 pm   rating: 170  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   CCH

      Making excuses for being a pain in the ass makes one more of a pain in the ass.

      Doing so on someone else’s behalf suggests that one is an even bigger pain in the ass.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 11:19 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #5   Kathleen

    He’s a keeper!

    Oct 7, 2012 at 7:55 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

  • #6   shwo! bang

    That’s not Steve. That’s Hadley from Cabin in the Woods: “Do you want to come over Monday? I’m going to pick up some power tools and liberate my cabinets.”

    Oct 7, 2012 at 8:13 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #7   Greg House

    Now that’s funny!

    Oct 7, 2012 at 8:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #8   rtuko

    Seriously, the key to a harmonious marriage is not nagging.

    Mention it once in a while, but otherwise let it go. I bet this “discussion” is a one-sided one, with him going ‘Uh huh…” and zoning out.

    Oct 7, 2012 at 8:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   shesajem

      Well it seems to have worked because he closed a cabinet AND send her flowers – seems pretty harmonious to me! haha

      Oct 7, 2012 at 8:50 pm   rating: 108  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   kermit

      Unless you have a huge kitchen and won’t bump into any open cabinet doors, is it really that much of a hassle to close them? How many times does he have to hurt himself before he comes to the realization that it’s a good idea to close them? They’re not like toilet seats you can “forget” to leave up.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 2:49 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   Tess

      There’s also the possibility that they have pets that get into the cabinets when they are left open. Blugh.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 6:56 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   Dr_Know

      My pet gets into the cupboards even when I close them. He lays on the ground and paws up at them until they come ajar…

      Cheeky bugger!

      Oct 8, 2012 at 7:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #8.5   Clumber

      Ours always leave easily identifiable evidence. If the kitten did it – his “stick with a string and feathery thing toy” will be laying just outside the opened cabinet, possibly with him there too twitching and panting. If ANY of the dogs did it, there will be garbage strewn through every part of the house they had access to. Yes indeedily do, neighbors, we have child locks in our household that will never meet a child. If none of those signs are present at the scene, then I am the default cabinet door molester.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 1:18 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #8.6   Jamie

      Well, sometimes nagging comes AFTER the gentle reminders. How many times do you have to say, “Please don’t put apple cores and candy wrappers in the kitchen sink with the dishes.”? Seriously…

      Oct 12, 2012 at 2:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #9   Steve

    Funny as hell! Aside from that, I’ve never met this couple, but I know they must have a loving relationship! The fact that this man would take the time to communicate that he’ aware of the seemingly inconsequential concerns of his wife by sending flowers and a note speaks volumes!

    Oct 7, 2012 at 8:33 pm   rating: 50  small thumbs up

  • #10   Palomon

    He’s not annoyed, he just feels the need to bring it up.

    Oct 7, 2012 at 8:56 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #11   Rainne

    Dear Steve, here’s a suggestion: the next time she bitches at you about the cabinet doors, get a screwdriver and take all the doors off.

    Oct 7, 2012 at 8:59 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   quat

      Now that’s a suggestion for marital bliss if ever I heard one.

      Oct 7, 2012 at 9:09 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Reed

      Or, someone could just take 1/10 of a second to close a door, rather than do a “honey I fixed it!” for the sake of asshole-based pride…

      Oct 9, 2012 at 11:36 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Sarah

      Something tells me Rainne is not a hit with the ladies.

      Oct 11, 2012 at 10:22 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #12   Alice

    I think that since you can joke about your “discussions”, it’s a good sign. A good relationship has room for a little self deprecation.

    But don’t go on with the “I’m not aggravated” stuff. Tell ‘im how ya feel, maybe he’ll cooperate, maybe he won’t.

    Oct 7, 2012 at 9:48 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   makfan bang

      If she isn’t aggravated by it, why does she feel the need to “bring the issue to his attention”?

      Oct 7, 2012 at 11:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Alice

      She probably thinks the “not aggravated” thing softens the nagging. She’s probably looking for “not angry”.

      (Which isn’t MUCH better. Just come out with it.)

      Oct 8, 2012 at 2:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Mew

      I’m pretty sure someone can bring something to someone else’s attention without being mad. Usually it’s by asking before it becomes an actual problem. “I don’t like that. I’m not mad yet, but if this keeps going on for a month I will be. So stop now, please.”

      Also, I’m pretty sure most “nagging” would not exist if people actually did the simple things they were asked…

      Oct 9, 2012 at 11:43 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #13   Frank

    Who in the hell leaves cabinet doors open? I can see the argument about the unused toilet seat position, direction of toilet paper unrolling, rate of channel changing, and minor things of that nature. But cabinet doors? Does this person also walk off, leaving the door to the ‘fridge open after grabbing some food? When passing through the door to the house, does it just get left open? What kind of maniac wanders through a house leaving cabinet doors hanging open?

    Oct 7, 2012 at 10:16 pm   rating: 81  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   makfan bang

      I do, when I get distracted by whatever it was that I needed from the cabinet in the first place. We have a bathroom with very little storage, so we installed a nice mirrored cabinet above the toilet. It works great. One time I went into the cabinet for the extra bottle of something, and I forgot to close the door. I remembered when I bent down to pick up trash that missed the can and smacked the top of my head on the open door. I’m much better at remembering to close it now.

      Oct 7, 2012 at 11:18 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   notolaf

      Half of mine are open right now.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 1:09 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   Djagir

      My cabinet doors are quite temperamental. I give them a little shove that “should” be sufficient to get them closed, and they go halfway shut and smirk at me. Meanwhile, I’ve turned to whatever the next thing I was planning to do was and have not noticed the smirkingly open door until the next time I wander into the kitchen and wonder why the cat opened the cabinets again.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 2:48 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   Clumber

      sheepishly raises hand
      Same cause as makfan @ 13.1 Just too low on my giveAshit meter.
      I am also one who will take bread from the middle of the loaf. Yes I know exactly how lucky i am to have a spouse who has not murdered me yet.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 1:21 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #13.5   Frank

      I’ll be darned. Who knew that so many people left cabinets hanging in the wind. :)

      Oct 9, 2012 at 11:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.6   Kathleen

      Men, lots of men. That’s who. I even knew a guy who told me he drives himself nuts because he leaves cabinets open. Worst of all, my husband will take out sandwich making materials from the fridge, then leave the door open while he makes his sandwich. Like it’s so hard to close the door and then reopen it.

      Oct 20, 2012 at 1:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #14   Katya

    I don’t know if my fiance would write a note like that for me, but I’d sure do it to him! Hilarious!

    Oct 7, 2012 at 10:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #15   Ethel

    When they have children, or a large dog, he will learn quickly what open cabinets mean.

    Oct 7, 2012 at 11:03 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   shell

      Yep. I can’t believe she has to tell him to close them. Grow up, momma’s boy.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 1:29 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #16   nurgleth

    Seriously side-eyeing everyone here going “You showed her!”. Obviously they both took it humorously, take a course in chilling the fuck out.

    “Next time she bitches take the doors off”
    “She sounds like a pain in the ass”
    “Don’t nag”

    Wow, y’all must be a bless to be with.

    Oct 8, 2012 at 2:13 am   rating: 81  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Tess

      I’m sure their mothers think they are wonderful when they come out of the basement every few days.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 6:58 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   D

      Seriously. I’m sure they have never lived with anyone other than mommy, or there’s some poor roommate or spouse out there who has to deal with them.

      (This is coming from a woman who leaves the cabinet doors open and knows how much it aggravates her boyfriend, and yet, I still occasionally forget.)

      You’ll have minor annoyances in marriage because people do annoying things. To say that someone is a “pain in the ass” to point them out is naive and childish.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 12:26 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   mouse

      Apparently asking your spouse to do anything at all constitutes “nagging” for some people.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 1:55 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   Alice

      I agree with every post here.

      (Except maybe the “LOL losers live with their mothers” argument, because it’s ridiculous and doesn’t add anything.)

      Oct 8, 2012 at 3:07 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #17   K

    I came back to a boyfriend’s parents’ house late one night and completely freaked out when I went into their kitchen to find all the cupboard doors open. It was like something out of a poltergeist movie.

    The reality was much more boring. The cupboards also housed water pipes and were along an external wall, so in winter they left the cupboards open overnight to keep the temperature above freezing point.

    Oct 8, 2012 at 4:57 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Clumber

      Is it just me who heard the typical horror movie STABBY STABBY STAB-STAB! music at “ late one night and completely freaked out when I went into their kitchen to find all the cupboard doors open.”
      Just me? I need to take more or less pain pills…

      Oct 8, 2012 at 1:23 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   Jamie

      My mom ALWAYS nagged at us for leaving things laying around or open in the kitchen. Then, one time in college, my at-home brother emailed me a photo of the kitchen after mom went in there to make some oatmeal. We ended up drawing little lines to label the FIFTEEN things that were out of place. It was hilarious….but I forgot my point…..Oh yeah, the picture looked like a poltergeist movie.

      Oct 12, 2012 at 2:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #18   tch tch

    My Grandfather was a shiftworker. Sick of banging cupboard doors, he took them all off and hung little curtains.

    Oct 8, 2012 at 5:25 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   JeffSaysICant

      I will be implementing this solution in my home post haste. I didn’t want to repaint those darn cupboards anyway!

      Oct 8, 2012 at 8:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #19   ansco

    The thing that most of you didn’t notice was that she referred to the not as “the damn note” which indicates that she was annoyed at the wording. Thus indicating that she is a nag or needs to have something over her husband in a control setting. In other words she is a nag and has control issues.

    Oct 8, 2012 at 7:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   M L

      … Seriously?

      Some of us don’t actually have to be legitimately annoyed to swear.

      This sounded more in the spirit of “My fiance is a goddamn smartass” to me. Not annoyed, just… emphatic!

      Other examples:

      “I looked for the cat everywhere, but he was under the damn bed the whole time!”

      “My husband is watching ‘The Matrix’ again. He’s watched the damn thing eighty times!”

      “Did you see the tits on that one? DAMN.”

      See? Emphasis.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 10:51 am   rating: 50  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   mouse

      Sounds to me like somebody’s projecting their own issues onto someone else’s relationship.

      Oct 8, 2012 at 2:00 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

  • #20   Dane Zeller


    Thank you ever so much for thinking about me! Next we’ll start working on that basement light you leave on all the time, not putting the parking brake on in my Sentra, your seat belt, the crumbs in the recliner, hugging my mother, and a few others.

    Love ya!

    P.S. the red flowers were great, but I really do prefer more yellow in the selection.

    Oct 8, 2012 at 7:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #21   Anna

    My husband leaves the cabinet doors open when he gets anything from the cabinet. I can always tell exactly what he did in the kitchen based on the cabinets he’s left open.

    He keeps the bottom cabinets closed, so I don’t really care. It takes me a few seconds to shut them after him, and then I get to creep him out by recounting everything he did when I wasn’t there. I call it a win for me.

    Oct 8, 2012 at 8:34 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

  • #22   JeffSaysICant

    You know, I actually think this is pretty romantic. He has been successfully retrained to close cabinet doors (which is keeping his fiancee from losing an eye – good on him!), and instead of being resentful, he sends flowers. Oh yeah, well, and a resentful card, but still – FLOWERS.

    Oct 8, 2012 at 8:40 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #23   QBall

    Perfect, bet he’ll be spending the night on the futon,, but the cards and flowers were a nice touch

    Oct 8, 2012 at 9:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #24   Anna

    That is all.
    They will change your life.

    Oct 8, 2012 at 11:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #25   G

    My ex-boyfriend used to complain when I wouldn’t close the toothpaste all the way. Now I can’t hear that “click” without thinking about him.

    Oct 8, 2012 at 11:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #26   Jen

    It starts off as jokes, but then it evolves into the unbridled hate and resentment that me and my Steve have. It must be a Steve thing. Well, mine has never bought me flowers…

    Oct 8, 2012 at 7:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #27   Tesstarosa

    It’s probably the only time he’s closed the door and he will point out that he did this once for the next ten years — with great pride.

    Oct 9, 2012 at 1:10 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #28   xMariex

    I came up with a few comebacks ranging in “meanness” that she could use depending on how good a relationship they have and how good a sense of humour he has. (For me, always a big plus in a partner.)

    1. I just saw a doghouse and thought of you. 2. I just saw a couch on the side of the road and thought of you. 3. I just found this box of tissues near this bottle of lotion and thought of you. 4. Oops, I just broke this little pencil and thought of you.

    Oct 9, 2012 at 4:38 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #29   Ear

    I can’t believe that there are people who habitually leave cabinet doors and drawers open. Just reading about it makes me angry.

    Oct 11, 2012 at 12:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #30   The Elf

    If I leave a cupboard door open, I’ll have a cat in it. Guaranteed.

    They can’t help it. They’re indrawers-only.

    Oct 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up


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