Talkin’ trash

October 15th, 2012 · 47 comments

Our submitter, a college student in Texas, says this note appeared just two weeks into the fall semester. “I’m excited to see what gets posted a few weeks from now when nothing changes,” she adds.

In the meantime, can somebody get this kid a thesaurus?

Dear Residents of Level 4, Pick up your motherfucking trash and take it down to the motherfucking dumpster. Quit being such disrespectful assholes, and lazy Fat fucks and just drive your fucking trash down to the TRASH CAN. I swear to god I will shove a broom up your ass if you don't start keeping up after yourselves. You are a motherfucking slob. Sincerely, I fucking hate you

related: Kiss your mother with that mouth?


FILED UNDER: college life · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · garbage · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · Texas · that's disrespectful

47 responses so far ↓

  • #1   My name is Princess!

    What pleasant human beings. The both of them.

    Oct 15, 2012 at 1:06 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #2   Kimberly

    I’d be angry, too, if my parents named me I fucking hate you.

    Oct 15, 2012 at 1:11 pm   rating: 139  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   The Elf

      She did it because she loves you. She knew you had to be tough. That’s why your brother is named Sue.

      Oct 16, 2012 at 11:45 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   redheadwglasses

      What’s worse is, she totally pissed off her best friend from college, because the friend had LOVED that name for a boy for years!

      Oct 16, 2012 at 11:52 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #3   kjordan2001

    I think Samuel L. Jackson must live in there as many times as mother-f’er and f’er are in that note.

    Oct 15, 2012 at 1:12 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

  • #4   bj2012

    I’d like to see the author’s college essay.

    Oct 15, 2012 at 1:15 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

  • #5   Michelle

    Ain’t a whiff of passive aggressive energy in that letter. Damn!

    Oct 15, 2012 at 1:18 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Truth

      Nope. That’s what we call actively aggressive.

      Oct 15, 2012 at 1:28 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Nocturnesthesia

      Nah, “aggressive” is skipping the note, figuring out who the main fucking slob is and putting the fear of God into him. (I really hate dirty people.)

      Oct 16, 2012 at 6:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #6   makfan bang

    There are mixed singular and plural sentences in that note. D-

    Oct 15, 2012 at 1:19 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #7   Charlotte

    This ambiguity has me confused……

    Oct 15, 2012 at 1:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #8   shepd

    With that level of anger, in a few weeks the trash will be on fire.

    Oct 15, 2012 at 1:40 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   joshua

      remember remember…

      Oct 15, 2012 at 1:48 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #9   lotus07

    Such exceptional use of the universal adjective.

    Oct 15, 2012 at 1:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #10   j-train

    I can’t for everyone to figure out who left the note and start leaving their trash in front of that person’s dorm room door.

    Oct 15, 2012 at 2:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #11   Wait..what?


    Oct 15, 2012 at 2:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #12   SirenSong

    Clearly the last two sentences are addressed to a specific individual. While the “motherfucking slob” is part of the “Fat fucks” group, it is only that slobbish member who will receive the rectal broom.

    Writer is very specific on that point.

    Oct 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #13   SeeYouInTea

    When I lived in the dorm last year, some asshole kept leaving boxes and bags of trash RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR DOOR. And some of my floormates would just leave trash all through the halls. Seriously, how hard is it to take the trash out to the dumpster, which is about 20 feet from the door to the dorm hall? The note writer is way too wired, but I completely understand.

    Oct 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   kermit

      I am betting that the note is from one of the cleaning people fed up with the freshmen. Anyone who’s ever had to clean bathrooms at a job knows that people – especially college freshmen – are freaking disgusting.

      Oct 15, 2012 at 4:12 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #14   Albert

    How is this passive aggressive?

    Oct 15, 2012 at 4:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Jami

      My turn to point it out!

      “funny (if not necessarily “passive-aggressive”) notes from pissed-off people”


      Thank you.

      Oct 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   H for Toy

      Congratulations, Jami! You’ve just achieved a new medal. I am pleased to give you the Medal of the Order of WTF! It ranks above The Medal of Ten or More Thumbs, but below the 50, 100 and Word of The Day Medals. :)

      Oct 15, 2012 at 10:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   TRT

      This is 100% pure PA. There’s a metric shit-tonne of anger in there, but rather than a direct confrontation they passively choose to leave a note.

      Oct 16, 2012 at 4:02 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #14.4   Sawmill

      I find that figuring out who exactly is doing this stuff in a college dorm is hard because everyone is up at strange hours. This could as easily happen at noon while you’re at class as it could happen at 4:30 am. Unless you want to waste your time (and skip class) camping out to find out who’s doing it, your recourse is a note.

      Oct 16, 2012 at 10:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #15   Holly

    I have to *drive* my trash to the trash can? How far away is it? No wonder people are leaving trash everywhere!

    Oct 15, 2012 at 5:27 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #16   We Shall Speak Anon

    I’m guessing this is from a Texas Christian University student. Go horny toads!

    Oct 15, 2012 at 6:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #17   Mytosis

    Time to play “Which Steve Buscemi character is he channeling?”

    Oct 15, 2012 at 7:36 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   meri

      The character he played in “Fargo” and thank you for the challenge. I believe I win.

      Oct 16, 2012 at 12:15 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   The Elf

      I’ve hidden your prize inside a woodchipper. Just look inside. Yeah, lean in a little farther…..

      Oct 16, 2012 at 11:48 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #18   ReDank

    residents of level 4: space colony?

    Oct 15, 2012 at 7:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   H for Toy

    Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word…

    Oct 15, 2012 at 10:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Jessi

      Rocco did it better.

      Oct 16, 2012 at 2:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #20   Ali Longworth

    If I received a note like that I’d be hitting the copy/computer centers with green garbage bags and bringing trash BACK to my dorm (the waste paper wouldn’t smell but MF wouldn’t know that – just see tons more bags). Of course the note would go on the very top of an open bag.:)

    Oct 16, 2012 at 12:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Tom

      Of course you would.


      Oct 16, 2012 at 10:25 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   Ali Longworth

      Ah, you must be related to the note writer; you have the same flair with language.
      If someone cannot be bothered to find out who are the actual slobs on level 4, but choose to blame everyone in a rude hysterical note, they deserve to be wound up.
      Of course you make it easier than your collegiate buddy – a post is so much less work than hauling garbage bags.

      Oct 17, 2012 at 12:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   Tom

      Let’s put it this way:
      If it was a joke, as in “ha ha I would not actually do that in real life, but wouldn’t it be HILARIOUS if I did”, it’s been done here about 500 times already and the joke is no longer funny. Also, it makes you look like an asshole (though you may not necessarily be one in this scenario).

      If it was not a joke, it seems you may just be the slob in question. If your first thought after a note like this is “Well I should just make someone else’s life more annoying then. It could be this guy, or all the other people who have to navigate around my purposefully placed trash, or the janitor team that has to clean it up for me, or all of the above. I don’t really care, it’ll be hilarious! They deserve it!”
      Sounds like you’re more passive-aggressive than the person who wrote the note. Since you actively make other people’s lives more difficult (and multiple people’s lives too! That marries up well with how you’re blaming note-writer for pointing a “hysterical” finger at “everyone” in the name of cleanliness, then you turn around and do a very similar thing) in the name of your own amusement, it also makes you an asshole. Or you may not have thought that your actions affect a myriad of people by leaving trash strewn about. Also makes you an asshole.

      So I’m calling you what you (probably) are.

      An asshole.

      Oct 18, 2012 at 3:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #21   Eileen

    Dear I f***ing hate you,

    We’ll clean up our act when you clean up yours.


    the motherf***ing slobs on level 4

    Oct 16, 2012 at 7:52 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #22   Tesselara

    Do you think this was written by a pterodactyl?

    Oct 16, 2012 at 8:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #23   Kwyjor

    There was a time once that I would have been sorely tempted to write a very similar note. This is one of the reasons why I live alone.

    Oct 16, 2012 at 9:50 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #24   The Elf

    I love how “fat” is capitalized but “fuck” is not. As many times as it is used, it deserves proper noun status.

    Oct 16, 2012 at 11:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #25   lana

    Someone needs to download a copy of the Sailor Trouble study guide…

    Oct 16, 2012 at 12:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #26   Charlie

    First of all, it’s mother fucking, not motherfucking. Secondly, fat should not be capitalized, but God should be. Also, as someone earlier pointed out, the writer addresses the mother fucking slobs and disrespectful assholes in both the singular and the plural. I’d say that rather than being in college, this author belongs in ninth grade.

    Oct 16, 2012 at 10:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   chrisinphx

      I never capitalize god. Or for that matter tooth fairy, easter bunny, or that evil monkey in the closet…being imaginary and all.

      Oct 17, 2012 at 2:47 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   The Elf

      I’m not a believer either, but capitalizing God when speaking of the singular Judeo-Christian God and not god(s) in a general sense is both grammatically correct and polite. Think of it as a name. You would capitalize Thor or Zeus, right? Because they are names? Same concept. The context of this note implies the Judeo Christian God, and so it should be capitalized.

      Since neither politeness or grammar seems to be on the forefront of the writer’s mind, I can see why the writer left it in lowercase.

      Oct 18, 2012 at 8:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #27   chrisinphx

    Pretty sure I work with lose lazy assholes.

    Oct 17, 2012 at 2:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #28   mike

    I wouldn’t exactly call this “Passive” lol

    Oct 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #29   Kyra

    Yeah, that’s not even close to passive… Wow, people are super rude when they’re irritated.

    Nov 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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