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But…changing the water cooler bottle is hard!

October 29th, 2012 · 34 comments

Writes in Bill in New York City: “When the water cooler bottle is empty, no one seems to know how to change it and leaves it for the next guy.’ His co-worker decided to go on the offensive.

T-Rex has tiny arms, too tiny to change the water bottle when it's empty. What's your excuse?!!!

My excuse? I am even clumsier than Liz Lemon. (And I know I’m not alone on this.)

related: So, the water cooler’s hosting rainbow parties again?

extra credit: Water cooler etiquette, or the thirsty worker’s manifesto []

FILED UNDER: office · water

34 responses so far ↓

  • #1   t-rex

    That’s not my excuse. My excuse is that my walnut size brain is too small to figure it out.

    Oct 29, 2012 at 9:04 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Things a T-Rex Does

      Can you all stop with this anti-Trex propaganda!

      We can live normal happy lives and we’ll integrate nicely into society until we eat you all.

      Oh my I’ve said too much, ignore the bit about eating.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 4:29 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   JK

      I really hope those mean people didn’t keep you indoors. You need to be outside so you can catch/eat all those kitties.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 7:24 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   t-rex

      My kitties are just fine. The squirrels on the other hand…

      Oct 30, 2012 at 10:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #2   fuzzbutt

    I had to do this at my old job. sucked cause I never drank the water. wonder if that is why I have pinched nerve in my shoulder all the time now. Damn water junkies

    Oct 29, 2012 at 9:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   makfan bang

      I’m curious why you changed the bottle if you never drank the water? I refill/replenish things I use, but those things I don’t are left for somebody else to do.

      Oct 29, 2012 at 10:23 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   kermit

      I don’t think anybody voluntarily admits to drinking water regularly from an office cooler.

      Anybody that’s had to put a fresh bottle on has seen that the spout is usually dirty, mouldy and gross.

      Oct 29, 2012 at 11:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   The Elf

      Yes, and that still makes it better than DC tap.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 3:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #3   Stegosaur

    Let’s face it, t-rex faces many hurdles when it comes to changing water bottles, but don’t let it get you down. Focus on your strengths. Like, you’re a very good chomper, for example. Be proud of that. Many people who can change water bottles would be completely unable to chomp a small dinosaur to death.

    Oct 29, 2012 at 9:23 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   redheadwglasses

      THank you for my first out-loud laugh of the day!

      Oct 30, 2012 at 8:08 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #4   Chug

    I often changed the water bottle at my old work place, mostly because I’m very skinny and kind of frail-looking, and so people would freak out when they saw me slinging the water cooler bottles around XD

    Oct 29, 2012 at 10:11 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   The Elf

      Heh, I do find it funny when I see perfectly healthy (I assume) women trying to flag down a man to change it. I just change the damn thing. They aren’t that heavy!

      If you have a bad back or something, then it would be a different story. But I’ve seen too many women who “can’t” change the water bottle to think they all have bad backs.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 3:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   FeatherBlade

      While working a temp job, I was told by one of the other women in the office to not lift heavy boxes, but instead get the (only) man in the office to do it for me. The reason she stated was that it would make him feel useful.

      I can only assume it is the same kind of mindset.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 6:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Poltergeist

      How un-patronizing of her to assume that he won’t feel useful unless all of the women are feigning weakness so that he’s forced to do all the heavy lifting by himself.

      Oct 31, 2012 at 12:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   kermit

      Maybe she was feigning weakness so that she could ogle his ass when he was bending over.

      Does she also pretend to be cold so that she can ask to borrow his pants, er I mean jacket?

      Oct 31, 2012 at 4:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #5   makfan bang

    Bad back?

    Oct 29, 2012 at 10:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #6   shepd

    In before someone says that they know someone with a birth defect causing them to have short arms and therefore this is offensive!

    Oct 29, 2012 at 10:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Rattus

      That birth defect is a direct result of their gestating mother drinking water from a mold infested water cooler.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 9:08 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   shepd

      If that is true this is the saddest thing I’ve heard today!

      Either way, +1 win for you!

      Oct 31, 2012 at 8:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #7   Dr_Know

    Lol, where I come from the water bottles come with a soft plastic seal on top and the spout at the bottom of the machine punctures that seal when you put it in…

    Look Ma, no wastage!

    Oct 29, 2012 at 11:19 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   0rd

      We bought our own cooler, the kind with the spindle that pierces the little gasket. You can easily rest the bottle on the rim and change your grip before completely inverting the jug. If your water supplier doesn’t offer the right kind of jugs, you just change vendors. There also seems to be less mold growth on this kind.

      All that being said, I think there were only two of us that regularly changed the water jug.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 1:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Djagir

      I had some idiot insist on “helping” me when I was changing one of these, despite my repeated insistence that I had it. I was changing my grip and getting things seated–and he pushed the water bottle in and dropped it on my finger. Since then, I will only change the water bottles if there’s no one else around.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 2:12 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   kermit

      Or if your water supplier doesn’t offer the right kind of jugs, you could just come to your senses and realize that you can do one better and have NO mould growth at all (and more money in the bank) by drinking filtered tap water instead.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 8:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   jUStPunkin

      Since I work on property that formerly had work on the Manhattan Project done here; I think I’ll take moldy bottle watered (which I’ve never noticed when I change the water bottle – and clean the spout) over tap water any day. They tried filtered tap water; I don’t think they have ever changed the filter. Ever. In 10 years. Yeah.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 8:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   kermit

      Your water filter is heavier (and thus more inconvenient to change) than your water cooler bottles? Wow. I have no words.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 1:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #7.6   Pinky

      Um. You know that delivered water cooler bottles ARE filtered tap water, right?

      Oct 30, 2012 at 8:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.7   kermit

      I think it depends on the brand. If it says “spring water” on it, I think it must legally come from a spring. Or the water authorities come to drown you for deceiving consumers with your lackadaisical labelling practices.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 8:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #8   Seanette

    In my case, arthritic hips that make heavy lifting extremely painful pretty much rule out lifting 40+ pounds of water bottle (water is 8 lb. per gallon, then factor in the weight of the container).

    Oct 29, 2012 at 11:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #9   redheadwglasses

    I use this thing called a “faucet.” Thankfully, I also live where the city water tastes very good. Thank you, head waters of the Mississippi. (Can you drink the tap water in New Orleans?)

    Oct 30, 2012 at 8:10 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   nikki

      We can drink it, but you have to not think about the fact that our drinking water supply is basically the toilet of America. Oh God, I miss living in Texas where I was drinking from an aquifer!

      Oct 30, 2012 at 2:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   RedDelicious

      I live in Texas and there’s not a chance I hell I’d drink straight from the tap. City water in Dallas is still not just bad tasting but carries all kinds of stuff you don’t want to ingest. Like lead and chlorine. All water contains some level of those things but… I don’t trust it here.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 7:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #10   Greg House

    I used to work in an office where one of the women actually drank close to a gallon of the water everyday. Thing is, she’d never change the water, and sometimes she just left it bone dry me for me to find and to change, and she bragged
    about how she was all buff and worked out and jogged but she wasnt strong enough to change the water on her own?

    Oct 30, 2012 at 7:39 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #11   raichu

    I like this one! And they’re right, it’s lazy to finish something and not refill it. Team note-writer.

    Oct 30, 2012 at 9:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #12   Ashes

    T-Rex is just full of excuses today, isn’t he?

    Nov 2, 2012 at 6:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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