So, which house do you think is the most likely to get egged by angry trick-or-treaters?
Exhibit a) From Chester Springs, Pennsylvania:
Exhibit b)
Exhibit c)
Exhibit d) From Jackson, Mississippi:
Exhibit e) Spotted by Greg in Escondido, California:
Exhibit f) Spotted by Tyree in Oakridge, Oregon
related: Some advice for would-be pumpkin smashers
120 responses so far ↓
#1
Jami
Dear Exhibit E,
If God didn’t want us to have candy He/She would never have made sweet things like sugar cane, sugar beats, and honey.
So why don’t you shut up and take a lesson from those of us who actually DO believe in God and don’t think were ARE God and pass out the darn candy corn?
Judge not, you judgmental jerks.
Sincerely,
Someone who believes in God and loves Halloween!
At least Exhibit B, assuming they really do have Swine Flu, are just trying to not spread their germs. Props for that.
Oct 31, 2012 at 6:44 pm rating: 134
#2
Smartasc
our house likely will. We have a sign up that says, “No costume, no candy!” I’ve turned away a couple of older high schoolers already tonight.
Oct 31, 2012 at 6:52 pm rating: 65
#3
shesajem
That is why its called TRICK or treat!! I put eggs in my kid’s plastic pumpkin for people like this!
Oct 31, 2012 at 6:52 pm rating: 10
#4
Joanne M.
I thought it was just pork, shellfish, octopi/squid, meat with blood in it and that fruit on that one tree that were problematic. I don’t remember anything about candy. So I fell for it and looked up the Bible verses, and sure enough, they don’t mention a THING about candy. What a bait and switch!
Oct 31, 2012 at 7:00 pm rating: 77
#5
AC
Exhibit E is almost guaranteed to get egged. No one likes religious zealots, especially when they’re ruining your fun.
Also, I don’t think they had candy during Biblical times.
Oct 31, 2012 at 7:32 pm rating: 38
#6
sanity left the building.
The more tape you used is a sign of how much of a nutjob you actually are.
Oct 31, 2012 at 7:34 pm rating: 52
#7
Spacey
Normal people just turn off the lights and pretend they are not home.
Oct 31, 2012 at 7:54 pm rating: 93
#8
Mel
Sadly, every single one of those could have come from my neighbourhood.
Oct 31, 2012 at 8:52 pm rating: 4
#9
wright1
If I had just one egg, it’d have to be e) or f), and e) would win for being self-righteous as well as humorless.
Most of the others at least show a sense of snarky humor about their Hallow’s Eve grinchyness.
Oct 31, 2012 at 9:04 pm rating: 13
#10
Ely North
I have a co-worker who refuses to let her cat out on Halloween because she’s convinced that the trick-or-treating kids will sacrifice the cat to Satan. I tried to tell her that they just want candy, but she’s convinced all the 5-year-olds worship the devil.
Oct 31, 2012 at 9:17 pm rating: 31
#11
mintjulep
I am definitely voting to egg exhibit E. It’s the religious zealots that bug me. Just turn your lights off and pretend not to be home. Or go to church or something.
Oct 31, 2012 at 9:36 pm rating: 26
#12
Monica
Candy and other confections are an affront to the Lord? Sorry, but the source you cite says absolutely nothing about candy, confections, or processed carbohydrates of any sort.
Deuteronomy 18:9-12
(9) When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. (10) Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, (11) or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. (12) Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord; because of these same detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you.
1 Peter 5:8
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
Oct 31, 2012 at 10:36 pm rating: 8
#13
Scott
Actually, many places have laws requiring sexual predators to post signs saying they aren’t passing out candy. I’m sure some of them get cute with them to avoid the awkwardness.
Oct 31, 2012 at 11:11 pm rating: 27
#14
Nikki
I had to abandon candy duty tonight (more on that later), so we put a rather large bowl of candy on the stoop, with a sign that said, “Help yourself! Please don’t be greedy. Happy Halloween!” We came home 45 minutes later to find the bowl empty, and considering the lack of foot traffic on our street, I’m pretty sure one asshole kid took it all.
Anyway, not to reignite my least favorite PAN argument or anything, but the reason I suddenly had to abandon my candy tonight was so I could go pick up my lost outdoor cat! He’s been missing almost three weeks, and some folks almost 3 miles away found him and saw our ad in the paper. Quite happy to have him back!
Happy Halloween, everyone!
Oct 31, 2012 at 11:20 pm rating: 52
#15
I (kinda) regret it now
We didn’t throw eggs. This was back in the olden times, before AIDS, and we would go to the store to buy the absolute largest feminine pad that we could find, and a whole bunch of red food coloring….
Nov 1, 2012 at 12:07 am rating: 9
#16
weaselby
It’s lame to misquote the Bible. Those verses say nothing about the evil of candy and “other confections.” Own up to your stinginess.
Nov 1, 2012 at 3:11 am rating: 12
#17
Brian H
I’m always screwed. When I get candy, no kids show up. When I don’t they do show up. This year was the former.
Nov 1, 2012 at 3:16 am rating: 15
#18
Eileen
No votes for the scary clown?
Nov 1, 2012 at 7:33 am rating: 4
#19
Kimm
The religious person opposes Halloween because they consider it to be a celebration of sorcery and witchcraft, which is indeed a sin according to the bible. I don’t agree with this, but it’s at least a religious belief I can respect.
Obviously, for most people it’s just an excuse to dress up in costumes and eat candy and maybe watch a scary movie, it’s not about actually performing spells or conjuring up demons.
However, the religious note-writer somehow interpreted the scripture quoted to infer that “candy and other confections” themselves are sinful. Well, obviously this person is an utter moron who need to work on their reading comprehension skills because that is just totally stupid.
Eating candy is not a sin. Unless you are a glutton and eat too much of it, I guess.
Nov 1, 2012 at 8:20 am rating: 6
#20
redheadwglasses
Is it really so difficult to leave your porch light off on Halloween, and make it clear you’re not in the candy bizness? And to NOT order pizza on this one night?
Nov 1, 2012 at 11:34 am rating: 11
#21
redheadwglasses
In Central Iowa, trick or treating is on 10/30 (stupid rule made by police departments so they can focus on teenage antics and satan worshippers on 10/31).
BUT: In Central Iowa, all the kids tell Halloween-themed jokes or riddles in order to get their candy! So that is kind of awesome.
Nov 1, 2012 at 11:37 am rating: 14
#22
QBall
Dear Exhibit E, I will poop in your jack-o-lantern every year for as long as you live in this neighborhood, my childrens children will TP your house for a 100 years. Then every Christmas when we roam the neigborhood singing carols, we’ll skip your house because we wouldn’t want to upset anyone with our evil Christian songs and by the way Fuck You..
Nov 1, 2012 at 11:39 am rating: 6
#23
Jeannie E.
As a parent of a young child (now 7), I go trick-or-treating with him in our semi-urban neighborhood, which is a mix of older houses, apartment buildings, and some businesses. We’ve learned to only approach doors where the residents have made it obvious that they’re expecting trick-or-treaters: not just lights on, but also some sort of Halloween decoration (jack-o-lanterns, blinky lights, or even just a paper pumpkin or witch on the door). This only amounts to about 30% of the houses, but that’s fine (it gets us walking more, to burn off the sugar!!). We don’t want to bug people who aren’t into it. I think most of the trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood use similar criteria. So if you want trick-or-treaters, give a little signal that your place wants them — otherwise we’ll leave you alone and you can have that giant bag of fun-size Snickers to yourself.
Nov 1, 2012 at 11:53 am rating: 18
#24
Sue
There’s nothing wrong with just turning out the porch light and not answering the door. That’s what the older folks do in my community. Of course I’m still waiting until I am old enough to hand out the fullsize candy bars to the kids (I’m looking forward to earning enough money to afford it.) I can still remember fondly the old lady in my town who handed out full sized candy bars in the 1960′s, when they cost a nickle each! She was our heroine.
Nov 1, 2012 at 11:57 am rating: 20
#25
Amy in Toronto
We were brought up with the porch-light-rule as well, and it’s always served us just fine.
Last night, due to the poor weather leading up to Halloween, there didn’t seem to be as many kids out as usual, and / or maybe parents were concerned about the weather still being too windy, too rainy, too Hurricane Sandy-ish, whatever, but it turned out to be a fairly mild (by Toronto standards), drizzly, pleasant night for taking my two nephews (3.5 and 1.5) trick-or-treating. Neighbours were very generous and gave three or four fun-sized chocolate bars, or 2-3 candy packets. My nephews made out like bandits with a massive bounty of treats after only visiting two streets (with many porch lights off as well).
I love the Central Iowan tradition of telling a joke or a riddle to earn your treat!
My 17 month old nephew was mesmerized by all the neighbours’ decorations – particularly the ones that had motion sensors and would light up or play spooky sounds when he walked past. He also quite liked the big bowls of colourful goodies that many neighbours allowed him to just pick up himself and put into a bag. He didn’t get the concept of “just one” but everyone seemed so struck by his cuteness that they didn’t mind (and there weren’t that many kids to warrant being stingy with the candy). All in all, a great Halloween!
Now back to my own personal sugar high, thanks to coworkers who graciously brought in the remainders of their stash from home!
Nov 1, 2012 at 1:25 pm rating: 5
#26
zabadu
So those of you who say the Universally Accepted Light Out works – you need to come to my neighborhood. Lights out, curtains drawn, THREE dogs who go insane…and it’s raining. 6 pm to 9pm – ding dong.
I thought about a sign, I really did. But there were children involved. It’s the parents I want to hurt.
Nov 1, 2012 at 4:29 pm rating: 12
#27
Jan D
I am a practicing pagan “witch” if you will, in my faith we call this day Samhain and we celebrate and remember those who have passed on. We also buy full size candy bars and have a great time handing out candy. It’s a way to bond with the neighbors, and quite harmless.
Nov 1, 2012 at 5:13 pm rating: 20
#28
Adriana
I wish I got trick-or-treaters. For years I lived in very quiet housing development for over 10 years and most of my neighbors were people over the age of 65. I think I had one trick-or-treater my whole time living there. Since then I’ve lived in apartment complexes and high rises and kids don’t really trick-or-treat there. I loved living in a neighborhood where everyone decorated for Halloween and got into the spirit.
Nov 1, 2012 at 6:50 pm rating: 3
#29
raichu
Can’t decide if E is serious, but it made me laugh.
Nov 2, 2012 at 11:52 am rating: 3
#30
Dauntless Ember
Exhibit E would probably get egged…and you’d think some of these people would just turn off the porchlight.
Nov 2, 2012 at 12:45 pm rating: 1
#31
ano
i completely forgot about Halloween (I WAS going to grab some candy, alcohol and horror movies) and had no candy. I didn’t realise until I saw a bunch of kids walking past the house all dressed up.
My housemates and I quietly turned all lights off and hid giggling in the loungeroom. We were scared someone would knock on the door and we’d have 3 apples and a jar of nutella between us to offer.
We were safe tho, no-one knocked (probably ’cause we’re in Australia. Not sure how I feel about Halloween increasing in popularity though. On one hand the kids dressing up is cute. On the otherhand, I don’t want random people at my door asking for candy. I’m never going to remember the date and half the time i don’t feel it.
Nov 4, 2012 at 9:00 am rating: 0
#32
Zhopka
Back to the douche debate earlier… As an ESL person, I just don’t get it. Candy opinions aside, what’s wrong with being a douche? Doesn’t it go places which one would normally deem desirable?
Nov 5, 2012 at 8:23 pm rating: 1
#33
Flu Dude
I put up B) a few years ago. I did have a flu, but without any fancy test the doctor decided it had to be Swine Flu since “it’s going around.” It sucked, as I had intended to go to my best friend’s wedding around that time and had to cancel. I figured something on the door was better than shouting through it and startling trick’o'treaters. Course, that probably would have been more fun.
Nov 28, 2012 at 11:18 am rating: 1
Comments are Closed