Entries from October 2012

Lemme break it down for you

October 8th, 2012 · 38 Comments

Ashleigh says her apartment complex in Gainesville, Florida is “notoriously slow” when it comes to repairs. Apparently, some of her neighbors got tired of waiting.

Just a 'little' reminder our stove is broke! We do enjoy the free dinner the past 2 nights though

related: Love, the Landlord

Tags: Florida · landlords and property managers · stove

It’s not an argument; it’s a discussion.

October 7th, 2012 · 63 Comments

Explains Melissa in Virginia: “As many couples probably do, my fiancé and I have had an ongoing discussion about his propensity to leave cabinet doors and drawers open.” Melissa insists she’s not aggravated by the open cabinets — she just feels the need to bring the issue to his attention.

Then, last week, Melissa was thrilled to receive a beautiful flower arrangement at her office. “Then I opened the damn card!”

Hi Honey, I closed a cabinet door just now and thought of you.  Love, Steve

related: Really, though — carnations?

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · love & marriage · most popular notes of 2012 · Northern Virginia · opening/closing

Welcome to Charm City

October 5th, 2012 · 30 Comments

Spotted by Matt in Baltimore, Maryland…

Are you the fuckface who was parked on Eastern a few weeks back for close to a week taking up 2 spots? Maybe parking isn't tight in NY, but in Charm City, we like to think of our neighbors! Learn how to park A-hole!  Dear Person who wrote this Note, Sorry, but I wasn't the person who parked on Eastern Ave. a few weeks ago and took up two spaces. I know, all black sedans look the same. An honest mistake, I'm sure. However, I didn't appreciate being called a

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

Tags: Baltimore · most popular notes of 2012 · Oops? · parking

The definition of hygiene

October 3rd, 2012 · 34 Comments

While traveling in India on business, Melissa spotted this sign in all of the women’s restrooms at one office.

Note: Based on my experience with this site, I have to conclude that the fairer sex most definitely does not “define hygiene.”

Ladies, Please throw Used Tissues, Sanitary Items, INSIDE the DustBin NOT ON the DUSTBIN. Please Flush Toilet After Each Use Please Wipe Toilet Seat if you have used the sprayer Do NOT Spray Water on the Floor We do not Need Notices for this. We are Women. We Define Hygiene. Why is it missing here????

related: The bathroom battle of the sexes — a true race to the bottom

extra credit: “Cleaner than Shit” Liquid Hand Soap

Tags: bathroom · confusion??? · hygiene · India · office · toilet

Just google it.

October 2nd, 2012 · 36 Comments

Heather in California says none of her colleagues will admit to writing this note, four copies of which showed up one day in the “very, very, small breakroom” at her office.

Dearest colleagues, Since non[e] of our Moms will be dropping around to clean up after us like they did when we were little kids; why not recap the p-nut butter, close the cracks and wipe up your crumbs before returning to work following break of lunch? Perhaps wetting a paper towel and wiping up your spills etc. etc.   Those of us who follow you into the break room would prefer not to have to clean-up your food remains so that we can have a clean neat environment in which to enjoy our breaks.   For detailed instructions on procedures to employ following making a mess, simply search GOOGLE for

P.S. As of today, the first page of search results for “activities of common courtesy and how to clean-up after finishing my break” includes a Wikipedia List of Breaking Bad characters.

related: This is in the way

Tags: California · cleaning · office · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation? · Your mother doesn't...

Comment dit-on “fermez la porte SVP” en anglais?

October 1st, 2012 · 24 Comments

Our submitter, who works at a language school in France,  isn’t 100% sure which one of the managers posted this on the staff board. However, there is one person he can think of who “has a fondness for long patronizing notes when a simple ‘please close the door’ would do.”

(just click the photo to enlarge)

When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!   I a door these notes.

related: Ceci n’est pas une porte

Tags: obnoxious definition · opening/closing · smartass · TL;DR