She’s mine. All mine!

← “A very great part of the mischiefs that vex the world arises from words.” —Edmund Burke If at first you don’t succeed… →

November 18th, 2012 · 68 comments

A certain supervisor thought his assistant, Sandra, was attracting too much idle chatter from other people in the office, so he made this framed notice for her desk. (Because that’s not creepy at all.)

“No word yet on how many contributions he’s received,” our submitter says.

related: The Man is always watching

Thx Sandra!!!

FILED UNDER: Canada · crazy boss · kinda creepy · most popular notes of 2012 · office

68 responses so far ↓

#1 Carmen

No thx Sandra?

Nov 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm rating: 90

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#2 Emma

Um, creepy.

Nov 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm rating: 90

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#3 SirenSong

SEEMS LIKE A FULL SENTENCE

WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING WITH THOSE

ELLIPSES… … …

Nov 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm rating: 90

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- #3.1 FeRD
  
  It’s Morse Code for “SSS”. Perhaps boss-man has a speech impediment?
  
  Or maybe he just suuuuucks s s s s s ssss?
  
  Nov 18, 2012 at 5:38 pm rating: 90
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#4 Rene

Wow. Jealous much?

Nov 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm rating: 90

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#5 fuzzbutt

does she have to wear the clothes he chooses too?

Nov 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm rating: 90

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#6 Smokey

Poor guy has no friends

Nov 18, 2012 at 4:39 pm rating: 90

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#7 guadalisa

RUN SANDRA RUN!!!

Nov 18, 2012 at 4:43 pm rating: 90

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#8 TBone

I’m kind of with the notewriter, as tactless as it is. I’ve got a coworker who seems to make it her mission to talk to everyone. Sometimes this is the only way to get the point across.

Nov 18, 2012 at 4:43 pm rating: 90

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- #8.1 Mar
  
  Yeah TBone, that’s creepy and I think you wrote the note.
  
  Nov 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm rating: 90
- #8.2 Jenn
  
  Has he actually spoken to Sandra about her behavior? If she tries to do her job and people just don’t respect her enough to keep from distracting her, that’s one thing. If he just silently seethed every time he heard her speaking with someone until he got this notice framed without comment, that’s quite another!
  
  Nov 18, 2012 at 5:09 pm rating: 90
- #8.3 nikki
  
  I dunno, man. Even if he has spoken to Sandra about her chattiness, I think putting up this sign is still an act of a total creeper. If her talking is really that much of a problem, discipline her or fire her. Don’t frame a creepy sign about how no one but you is allowed to talk to her. Otherwise, you’re sending out a signal that you’re a weirdo who keeps her around for other reasons… … …
  
  Nov 18, 2012 at 8:36 pm rating: 90
- #8.4 The Elf
  
  Yeah, the sign is too much and totally creepy. Boss needs to take this up personally with Sandra and the worst offenders if this is creating a productivity problem or creating an unprofessional environment. If the problem continues, fire the offenders.
  
  Also, it would be frequently necessary to speak to the boss’ assitant in work related matters to do things like schedule meetings. I doubt the boss has an issue with such productive talk, but doesn’t discriminate between work related chatter and personal chatter on his sign.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 6:49 am rating: 90
- #8.5 t-rex
  
  Some of us have the gift of gab. It’s a two way street, though. Sandra should learn to say that she has work to do and move on to her next task.
  
  However, if Sandra has all of her work done, boss is being weird. Perhaps boss should give her more work to keep her mouth shut.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 11:39 am rating: 90
- #8.6 deprogrammed
  
  Hope this is in Canada, because in the US this can be considered harassment by the supervisor – creating a hostile work environment.
  
  He should give his assistant a chance to tell folks to stop coming by to chat. If she gets her work done no matter what, he should consider her a conduit to what’s really happening in the office.
  
  Or consider the most likely scenario – the supervisor ISN’T likeable, is a jealous, hating control freak with no real authority and needs to put his thumbprint on something, somewhere.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 1:10 pm rating: 90
- #8.7 FeatherBlade
  
  Alternately, Sandra has asked everybody else to stop talking to her, but they refuse to honor her request, so, in desperation, she asks her boss to do something, because everybody listens to him.
  
  And this note is the best he can come up with.
  
  Nov 20, 2012 at 9:51 am rating: 90
- #8.8 Lil'
  
  I think it would have been more productive for Sandra to make the conversations boring or self-centered. There’s a guy here who can’t help but turn every conversation into a celebration of his achievements and superiority. Trust me, no one seeks him out for small talk.
  
  Nov 20, 2012 at 10:02 am rating: 90
- #8.9 Kimberly
  
  My boss will actively shoo people away from my desk because he likes me and he knows that I hate when people camp out in my space. He comes out of it looking like the bad buy but really he is being a very good boss to me.
  
  Nov 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm rating: 90
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#9 shwo!

IF YOU CHOOSE TO
ISOLATE SANDRA FROM
ALL HUMAN CONTACT YOU
CHOOSE TO
TAKE A BULLET DURING
THE INEVITABLE
SHOOTING
SPREE … … …

Nov 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm rating: 90

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#10 Danielle

I hope Sandra is looking for a new job. Her boss sounds like a little on the creepy side.

Nov 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm rating: 90

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#11 Jentheowl

I feel for Sandra. I was an admin assistant at a construction company once. I was one of two women on staff and the only woman under fifty. I was told explicitly that no one was allowed to talk to me unless it was directly related to work, and all the men who worked there were told not to speak to me. It was a very lonely existence.

Nov 18, 2012 at 5:51 pm rating: 90

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- #11.1 YouSoSpecial
  
  Ouch. You were singled out for being young and female. Yuck.
  
  Nov 18, 2012 at 6:18 pm rating: 90
- #11.2 FeatherBlade
  
  On the other hand, it probably saved her many hours of refusing come-ons, objecting to thinly veiled innuendo, and rejecting the flirtations of horny construction workers.
  
  So… pick your poison: lonely work or sexual harassment cases waiting to happen.
  
  Nov 18, 2012 at 8:02 pm rating: 90
- #11.3 Tesselara
  
  Ah, the workplace equivalent of the Burqa.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 6:46 am rating: 90
- #11.4 The Elf
  
  I’ll take the poison of sexual harrassment waiting to happen. Most men can take a hint, and most women can hold their own against inneundo. That kind of sheltering is rather sexist in its own way.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 6:53 am rating: 90
- #11.5 AP
  
  I used to supervise lifeguards, who despite wearing hideous baggy red uniforms and fanny packs, tend to field a ton of sexual harassment.
  
  It’s fairly easy to have a little meeting with each new hire to say, “These are tactics you can use to avoid being hit on, these are tactics you can use to discourage someone who is hitting on you, these are tactics you can use when you feel threatened by someone’s advances, and this is how you report it.” We reinforced it at every staff meeting and would do follow-ups in private if necessary, to help empower the staff to stick up for themselves.
  
  Telling someone that he/she is to be isolated as a solution is just wrong.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 10:45 am rating: 90
- #11.6 Moor
  
  Personally I’d take the isolation, since having to deal with come-ons and innuendos every day is exhausting. I’ve told the boys (they don’t get to be called men) in no uncertain terms that their “jokes” about “who gets me first” are not funny and on top of it I am married and completely unavailable (not to mention all the OTHER “jokes” about blowjobs and the like). And the behavior only continues.
  Standing up to workplace harassment only goes as far as the boss is willing to go. If the boss doesn’t plan to discipline those stepping out of line, then there’s only so far you can go without basically shooting yourself in the foot and maybe losing your job over “not being able to take a joke”
  
  In the isolation case, it seems the boss is either lazy, or realizes that it’s easier to separate you than fire half his entire work crew over harassment issues.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 11:02 am rating: 90
- #11.7 The Elf
  
  Not having a boss/HR to act on blatant harrassment is bad, too. But Thou Shalt Not Speak To The Young Pretty One isn’t the answer. That’s insulting to the younger woman (for assuming she can’t handle it), the older woman (for assuming she isn’t desirable), and the men (for assuming they just can’t handle themselves). Plus it creates a very awkward work environment and can be very isolating for the “protected” one.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 11:08 am rating: 90
- #11.8 Vulpis
  
  The problem isn’t even just harassment, really, it’s the fact that while they’re sitting there chatting, *neither* is doing the work they’re supposed to be.
  As someone who ends up working his tail off while others stand around chatting either with each other or on their phones while there’s *plenty* of actual work that needs to be done, I know the feeling.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 12:08 pm rating: 90
- #11.9 Moor
  
  Elf, yeah I guess it’s insulting to do it without consulting original poster first. Boss probably knows what his own men are like though – whether they’re upstanding gentlemen or low-down harassers. And the boss doesn’t have to assume whether the older lady is “desirable” or not – frankly, if this is a harassment issue it’s plain by whether or not she is already harassed. If she isn’t, then…she’s not attractive enough anymore to warrant isolation. Cut and dry.
  
  Regardless of whether I would’ve taken isolation in a heartbeat, it’s obvious it wasn’t preferable for original poster. Though, maybe she would have changed her mind in a month haha
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 1:44 pm rating: 90
- #11.10 IamFuckingDelish
  
  im in the same boat. i work with all guys, and none are allowed to talk to me. the shop guys can stand around and talk woman and football, but dont dare talk to the grunt!
  
  Nov 20, 2012 at 7:31 am rating: 90
- #11.11 Nocturnesthesia
  
  What’s so bad about isolation? If it were acceptable at my old work I’d have placed a sign around my neck saying “Don’t fucking talk to me” but instead had to deal with increasingly worse sexual harassment until I quit. Honestly I’d be happy in solitary confinement the rest of my life, there is no correct way to deal with people.
  
  Nov 20, 2012 at 8:59 pm rating: 90
- #11.12 farcical aquatic ceremony
  
  While I agree with your points, Elf, in theory, and while your former work situation sounds horribly lonely, Original Poster, I think a couple of commenters above made important points: (1)the restriction was no doubt based on the boss’s prior experience with how his construction workers interact with female A.A.s, and (2) it was at least as much about keeping productivity up as it was about preventing harassment. Men who work on construction crews generally do not have a work history that has drilled ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ of working with the opposite gender into them, so any woman of moderate attractiveness (however the men define it age-wise, etc.) would have her work cut out for her in trying to handle the truckload of subtle hanging-around-gabbing to outright, suggestive proposals that would come her way. It’s all well and good to say that any woman worth her salt COULD handle all of these advances deftly, without taking away from her work time & ability to concentrate & workplace sense of wellbeing, and that an injunction against conversing with the work crews wasn’t necessary, but, jeez, the thought of trying to rebuff persistent flirters day-in, day-out just sounds exhausting to the point that working ‘in isolation’ just might be preferable.
  
  (Again: perfect world, construction boss is ‘enlightened’ & skilled at training rotating crews of men of varied socioeconomic, cultural, language backgrounds in non-harassing treatment of Admin.Assistants, works with Admin.Assistants to put policies in place that promote friendly intrastaff interactions w/o time-wasting, etc., etc., but we all know how often ‘perfect’ happens!)
  
  Nov 21, 2012 at 1:52 am rating: 90
- #11.13 The Elf
  
  Nothing is wrong with self-imposed isolation, or having a workplace culture that discourages chit-chat. I’m fond of headphones to isolate myself, and I love to be left to my own devices to complete an assignment, so I can understand the appeal. But there is something wrong with creating a set of rules that delibertly isolates one person, regardless of whether it is for her “protection” or not. I think if you ended up with such externally-imposed isolation, just about anyone would find it lonely and awkward. If the situation is that bad, the boss/HR really needs to take a direct hand in stopping sexual harrassment. That’s not “perfect”, that’s common sense.
  
  It’s like when you’re stuck at home for some reason (snowbound, leg broken, car’s in the shop, whatever). You may prefer to stay home and choose that often, but when you’re *forced* to do so it doesn’t take long for a little cabin fever to creep in.
  
  Nov 21, 2012 at 9:29 am rating: 90
- #11.14 farcical aquatic ceremony
  
  Oh, I fully agree that “there is something wrong with creating a set of rules that delibertly isolates one person, regardless of whether it is for her “protection” or not”; instead of my long comment I should have just said that–given a situation in which the boss/HR just ISN”T going to do a damned thing to ensure a respectful & productive work environment–I’m not sure that the ‘freedom’ to fend off a constant stream of advances would make ME happier than isolation. (The answer to this type of work environ. for me would have to be staying in that job for as little time as possible, as it sounds like the OP did.)
  
  Nov 21, 2012 at 9:47 am rating: 90
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#12 YouSoSpecial

Boss doesn’t realize that talking to Sandra makes her more valuable. Not only does she know everything that’s going on, she helps make up for how disliked he is. He also doesn’t realize that using the passive voice makes him sound weaker than they already think he is.

Nov 18, 2012 at 6:15 pm rating: 90

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- #12.1 spooky
  
  Can I gently point out that there’s no use of the passive voice in that note?
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 9:24 am rating: 90
- #12.2 t-rex
  
  Actually, there is a passive tone in this note. “Contribute to the paying of her salary.” A direct note should say, “You choose to pay her.”
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 1:26 pm rating: 90
- #12.3 O, really?
  
  The existence of the note itself is passive. If he were actually commanding authority, he wouldn’t have to put up a sign telling his employees to stop chatting up his assistant.
  
  Nov 20, 2012 at 12:27 am rating: 90
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#13 zenvelo

Sandra doesn’t have a boss, she’s got a wannabe pimp.

Nov 18, 2012 at 7:05 pm rating: 90

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#14 scott hall

2creepy4me. What kind of person who made it to supervisor status would think it’s okay to make this kind of sign… … …

Nov 18, 2012 at 8:13 pm rating: 90

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#15 SeeYouInTea

THNX, SANDRA

Nov 18, 2012 at 8:49 pm rating: 90

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#16 Omnivore

Someone has watched Secretary one too many times.

Nov 19, 2012 at 12:42 am rating: 90

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#17 Seanette

Um, how is she supposed to be able to do her JOB without communicating with co-workers?

Nov 19, 2012 at 2:15 am rating: 90

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- #17.1 Vulpis
  
  There’s a difference between communicating with your co-’workers’, and getting stuck not doing work while they decide they want to run their mouths and chit-chat.
  
  Nov 20, 2012 at 6:42 pm rating: 90
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#18 Jolly

I get where the notewriter is coming from, I have some obscenely chatty coworkers and I can’t imagine if they were doing that instead of doing a job I paid them to help me do. But being a massively creepy douche for a decent reason is still being a massively creepy douche.

Nov 19, 2012 at 3:10 am rating: 90

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#19 bitchy the dwarf

i dunno, if you read it just right, it could imply that Sandra gets paid to chit chat and you are contributing to her salary just by talking to her.

Nov 19, 2012 at 4:52 am rating: 90

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- #19.1 anotherfool
  
  Leaving confusing notes–is this some newfangled supervisory technique? I have no idea what exactly this note is telling me to do. “Don’t chat up Sandra” would be clearer … … … but still inappropriate and ineffective.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 7:20 am rating: 90
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#20 Lil'

I feel for Sandra. I have about 40 coworkers, and many of them like to stop by for a chat every day. The problem is, while each individual coworker may only spend a few minutes at my desk catching up, multiply that by 5 or 10 times per day, and I look like the chatterbox. I’ve had a senior manager tell me politely that I should consider telling my coworkers to stop dropping by my desk so much. He said he knew I spent my day at my desk working, but it didn’t look well to the big boss to see people at my desk so often. I took his advice, and I’m glad I did. The drop-bys still happen, but less frequently. Since then, my boss has given me more responsibility and paid my tuition to advance my degree because my image has improved. Sandra is just probably being polite to a fault, and the boss doesn’t have the people skills to handle it directly. To Sandra’s credit, it seems her boss sees the coworkers more as an interruption than he sees Sandra as a chatterbox.

Nov 19, 2012 at 7:33 am rating: 90

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#21 Spooky

IF YOU CHOOSE TO FEED SANDRA,
YOU MAY UPSET THE SPECIAL DIET I’VE PLACED HER ON… … …

IF YOU CHOOSE TO REACH YOUR HAND INSIDE HER CUBICLE,
YOU MAY UPSET SANDRA,
AND WE MAY NEED TO START HER TRAINING ALL OVER… … …

MOST IMPORTANTLY,
IF YOU CHOOSE TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH SANDRA,
HER CRAZY BOSS WILL CUT YOU… … …

Nov 19, 2012 at 8:36 am rating: 90

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#22 James L.

If Sandra ever has to sue the company for harassment, this sign will be used as Exhibit A in her lawsuit.

Nov 19, 2012 at 10:24 am rating: 90

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#23 Merri

I wonder if there’s a blog for Randomly Underlined Words like there is for Unnecessary Quotes.

Nov 19, 2012 at 10:58 am rating: 90

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- #23.1 The Elf
  
  It’s underlined for emphasis, so the coworkers don’t confuse SANDRA with her identical triplets who work in the same cubicle, FANDRA and FOFANDRA. No one ever talks to them.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 11:13 am rating: 90
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#24 t-rex

Sandra, put up a sign of your own. “The Doc is in – 5 cents.”

Nov 19, 2012 at 11:43 am rating: 90

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- #24.1 jaylemeux
  
  Win.
  
  Nov 23, 2012 at 10:39 pm rating: 90
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#25 Ermott

I think I’d just fire Sandra and hire someone not as pleasant to talk to.

Problem solved, efficiency and world balance restored.

Nov 19, 2012 at 12:01 pm rating: 90

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- #25.1 Vulpis
  
  Hate to say it, but that might be the needed solution–after all, this is a workplace, not a gossip circle. Sandra may or may not be contributing to it, but the others need to quit chatting and get back to work.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm rating: 90
- #25.2 deprogrammed
  
  Actually, you may simply be setting yourself up for a lawsuit. Unless you work in a sweatshop, there is no such thing as not talking to coworkers. You seems to have assumed the problem is with Sandra, and not with her boss.
  
  Next thing you know the boss is proactively choosing all her friends, where she lives, her clothes, etc. all because he “pays her salary.” . Which I doubt, because as a supervisor he’s an employee, just like her.
  
  Oops – made a bad assumption – what if the supervisor is a jealous WOMAN?
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 1:18 pm rating: 90
- #25.3 Bomba
  
  What. Boss has every right to ask people to cut chatter to a minimum – his/her workplace, his/her rules. That includes a dress code so he/she has some control over someone’s clothes. By extension, Sandra would need to live near enough to her workplace to show up on time so that sort of denotes that the boss requires her to live within a certain radius of the workplace (though the size of that radius is up to Sandra). And yes, this all WOULD be because he pays her salary.
  
  The only thing that doesn’t line up is friends, but I consider that more a subset of “no unnecessary chatter please”. You should have chosen stuff that’s more ridiculous if you wanted to prove that the boss is crazy…
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm rating: 90
- #25.4 deprogrammed
  
  Seriously Bomba? Unless it’s a sole proprietorship, the boss ain’t paying you, it’s the company. Does your company trust you to live where you choose, or did they choose it for you? By the way, dress codes don’t involve picking out your outfits. If you don’t understand the difference between regulations for the sake of business operations vs. a personal pet peeve by one individual, you can be bought pretty cheaply.
  
  Nov 19, 2012 at 5:37 pm rating: 90
- #25.5 t-rex
  
  I have a dress-code, they literally pick out what we where here. That’s not that out of the ordinary.
  
  Nov 20, 2012 at 10:37 am rating: 90
- #25.6 Bomba
  
  There are workplaces that decide where you live. Not many, but there are certainly workplaces with dormitories. Even on the simplest side, say an RA at a college or a floor supervisor. They have to sleep in the room provided by the college and be available for the residents. Many workplaces (especially retail) say that you must wear a specific polo shirt provided by the company, specific pants, and specific shoes. Even some banks I have been to require specific uniforms with specific patterned neck scarves.
  
  Obviously this workplace is very unlikely to have such things as this as it’s probably an office environment, but the things you mentioned such as clothes, housing, friends, is really not so farfetched and quite a few businesses do hand pick these things for their employees. Many businesses want to friend you on facebook to make sure that you’re not badmouthing to your friends. Or say if you are involved in an altercation where the police are involved they may choose to let you go. There are a great deal many things businesses regulate about their employees lives.
  
  So I still don’t see how your comment about the boss being “crazy” is really all that crazy. What you listed are day to day requirements for many people.
  
  I mean, the boss sounds crazy here, but it’s not going to escalate into what you’re talking about. Even if it did escalate into dress code and living arrangements, it is not all that uncommon.
  
  Nov 20, 2012 at 1:09 pm rating: 90
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#26 Frank Booth

This is the most aggressive office note that I’ve ever seen. I love it.

Nov 19, 2012 at 12:02 pm rating: 90

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#27 Rainne

DO NOT FEED OR TEASE THE SANDRA.

Nov 19, 2012 at 12:24 pm rating: 90

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#28 Julia

PLEASE DON’T SPEAK TO SANDRA

SHE IS TOO BUSY WRITING NOTES TO POST FOR CASEY IN HUMAN RESOURCES… … …

Nov 20, 2012 at 9:27 pm rating: 90

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#29 Ali Longworth

At first I thought that Sandra was Amish and being shunned, but then wouldn’t it be “if thee choose to speak….?”

Nov 20, 2012 at 10:54 pm rating: 90

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- #29.1 FeatherBlade
  
  “If thou choosest to speak with Sandra, then thou dost choose to contribute thy wages to the payment of hers…”
  
  Nov 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm rating: 90
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#30 Katy

That’s beyond wrong. Might as well put a “Don’t talk to me” sign around her neck. That’s incredibly degrading.

Nov 24, 2012 at 7:59 pm rating: 90

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