No, thank YOU, Boss Lady of 75

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November 25th, 2012 · 38 comments

This is just…a thing of beauty.

FILED UNDER: exclamation-point happy!!!! · knocking · Sacramento · so this is a thing? · that's disrespectful · unnecessary "quotation marks"

38 responses so far ↓

#1 kermit

But wouldn’t calling before knocking just disrespect the phone?

Should I send a telegram to let you know that I will be calling, and then call to let you know I will be knocking? Would sending you secret messages in alphabet soup work better instead?

Nov 25, 2012 at 9:05 am rating: 90

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- #1.1 danny
  
  but then the telegram folks would have to call to let her know that they will be knocking which would also disrespect the phone. Perhaps smoke signals is the answer
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 11:33 am rating: 90
- #1.2 Thunder McKing
  
  Or a bat signal.
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 11:58 am rating: 90
- #1.3 kermit
  
  Well if you really want to get technical, I don’t think regular people can even send real telegrams any more. I believe Western Union discontinued the service a while back (2006 ?). Only the President can send/receive telegrams because he has to talk to people from countries who still use them.
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 12:02 pm rating: 90
- #1.4 H for Toy
  
  What we need here is a bat-shit-crazy signal.
  
  Nov 26, 2012 at 8:46 am rating: 90
- #1.5 Ali Longworth
  
  Just where did this wack-job get such a sensitive door? And what does it do if it is disrespected; sulk? refuse to open? ring its own doorbell? Inquiring minds want to know.
  
  Nov 26, 2012 at 1:18 pm rating: 90
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#2 Polly

Looks like she couldn’t decide whether to follow American or British usage to close her quotations, so she created her own Boss Lady Style by putting the closing mark above her ass.

Nov 25, 2012 at 9:21 am rating: 90

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- #2.1 Purr Monster
  
  L out L! As an editor, I love your “comment!”
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 10:25 am rating: 90
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#3 Rebecca

Maybe she leaves her phone on silent since she does like her peace & quiet.

Nov 25, 2012 at 9:24 am rating: 90

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#4 bruce

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Disrespect.
Disrespect who?
Disrespect yo ass!!!!!!!!!!

Nov 25, 2012 at 9:36 am rating: 90

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#5 havingfitz

Dear Boss Lady:

We found what appears to be your daughter in a mangled heap next to a wrecked car. She’s currently at the hospital in a coma. We didn’t have your number, and didn’t want to disrespect you by knocking to let you know.

-Local Police Department

Nov 25, 2012 at 9:51 am rating: 90

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#6 Roto13

She should just be honest. “Don’t knock on my door without warning because I’m basically always naked.”

Nov 25, 2012 at 9:55 am rating: 90

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- #6.1 Poltergeist
  
  She doesn’t want anybody to get close enough to the door to hear her making passionate love with the new intern. That would be unprofessional.
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 4:37 pm rating: 90
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#7 raichu

Wait, if her phone rings, won’t that also disturb her peace and quiet?

Nov 25, 2012 at 10:51 am rating: 90

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- #7.1 H for Toy
  
  No, but an angel will get its wings.
  
  Nov 26, 2012 at 8:29 am rating: 90
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#8 sonyabegonya

It probably does not apply here, but when somebody who has my number “just stops by” and wakes a napping child, beheading is the only appropriate punishment for them.

Nov 25, 2012 at 10:55 am rating: 90

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- #8.1 infanttyrone
  
  Yours is a wiser approach than even(-Steven) Solomon’s.
  
  Heute kann der Besucher … morgen das Kind.
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 11:10 am rating: 90
- #8.2 afriend
  
  That is exactly the reason I do call on people who have done their damnedest to ruin our friendship by reproducing.
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 11:15 am rating: 90
- #8.3 H for Toy
  
  Eh… I just taught my kids to sleep through noise. That way I never have to keep my house completely silent whenever they sleep. That would NEVER work for me. Plus, the phone was always louder than a knock at the door would have been.
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 6:45 pm rating: 90
- #8.4 Ali Longworth
  
  Wow – you behead the child too? That is serious punishment just for waking up.
  
  Nov 26, 2012 at 1:13 pm rating: 90
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#9 Ely North

I’m tempted to knock on her door, just to see how she will disrespect my ass.

She’ll probably say that it’s fat and stinky. Because that’s true.

Nov 25, 2012 at 11:11 am rating: 90

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#10 t-rex

How can I call when you didn’t post your number?

Nov 25, 2012 at 11:33 am rating: 90

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- #10.1 A. Fox
  
  I think that might be the point.
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 12:34 pm rating: 90
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#11 A. Fox

I guess this is one way to prevent people who don’t know you (church peddlers, Girl Scouts, etc) from bothering you.

Nov 25, 2012 at 12:33 pm rating: 90

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#12 Belinda

Gone are the days when you did just call on someone, it was called visiting back then. You know, sometimes when you wanted something to do, you’d go visit a friend, in person? Yeah, I know, so old fashioned.

Nov 25, 2012 at 3:38 pm rating: 90

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- #12.1 Macca
  
  I think this is one of those situations where it IS something I’d call “old fashioned”. This is no longer a part of society. It’s not particularly missed, or else people would do it more. It’s not really a bad/good thing that it’s gone, just like it won’t really be a bad/good thing if it comes back. Ebb and flow, all that.
  
  Nov 26, 2012 at 8:58 am rating: 90
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#13 redank

Perhaps a candygram to #75 will set the wheels in motion for a positive meet-and-greet at her door (or perhaps not).

Nov 25, 2012 at 4:11 pm rating: 90

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#14 shepd

I was going to “cawn” before knocking, but I’m not a woman, so they told me to go away. I would also chll you, but I don’t know what the hell that means.

And what is a “beforg”? And “ong”? Is that some sort of kung-fu?

Thank yoll for your answers. And, please, boss lady, visit the library and take advantage of the computers and printers they have. Your handwriting is terrible.

Nov 25, 2012 at 5:23 pm rating: 90

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#15 Molly Musaka

Neighbor: “Wow…75′s car is getting towed! I don’t have her number so I guess she can figure it out herself…”

Nov 25, 2012 at 5:55 pm rating: 91

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#16 H for Toy

Has anyone yet suggested that she may be a drug dealer in league with the people at 413 E H St? You need to call her before you stop by, because there’s not enough time to hide the stash when you just knock.

Nov 25, 2012 at 7:16 pm rating: 91

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- #16.1 kermit
  
  Nah, she’s probably a phone sex operator. Would explain how she got the name “boss lady 75″
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 8:35 pm rating: 91
- #16.2 H for Toy
  
  A phone sex operator for people who really miss using their CBs.
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 9:04 pm rating: 91
- #16.3 kermit
  
  Miss using their conveyor belts? Cranberry bowls? Carrot bouillabaisse?
  
  Alls I’m sayin’ is that a boss lady itching to disrespecting the asses of strangers sounds like a phone sex operator or a Craigslist er, friend.
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 9:35 pm rating: 91
- #16.4 H for Toy
  
  That’s right. Carrot Bouillabaisse. Don’t you miss that?
  
  Nov 25, 2012 at 9:55 pm rating: 91
- #16.5 Ali Longworth
  
  @kermit I agree. Disrespecting someones ass sounds like a service that would cost extra.
  
  Nov 26, 2012 at 1:16 pm rating: 91
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#17 Kimberly

I live in a neighborhood so I get a lot of uninvited visitors. The other day someone knocked on my door, then rang the doorbell and then, when I didn’t answer because I didn’t recognize them, beat on my door with a metal bottle. So while the note is a little whackadoodle I get it, my door was disrespected as well, I SO get it.

Nov 26, 2012 at 2:23 pm rating: 91

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#18 Anna

Slip a Butthurt Report form under her door?

Nov 27, 2012 at 11:18 pm rating: 91

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#19 Mimi

Maybe she just hates the pop-in.

Nov 29, 2012 at 2:33 am rating: 90

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