Entries from November 2012

The perfect use for Instagram

November 11th, 2012 · 24 Comments

As photographed by Danielle, while she was traveling in the Netherlands:

POEP!

Now you know how to say “poop” in Dutch! (You’re welcome.)

UPDATE: Bill came across this note in the Netherlands a few months back. “It may even be the same note writer!” Bedankt (thanks), Bill!

Bedankt (thanks)

related: Excuse me, sir? I think you’ve dropped something.

Tags: Netherlands · shit

There’s stealing candy from children, and then there’s…this.

November 8th, 2012 · 37 Comments

“How low do you have to go to steal flowers from someone’s grave?” wonders Ash in East Lansing, Michigan.

Please do not steal my father's flowers again. He did not do anything to you. Shame!

At the very least, I suppose, you’ve have to be someone untroubled by the prospect of being publicly chided or privately haunted. In Providence, Rhode Island, Moira noticed that the flowers at this memorial had very recently been dug up again.

To the Person(s) who has stolen the flowers from this bench at least twice this summer: These flowers were placed as a rememberance of Sheryl Jacobson and Maggie who are memorialized by this bench.  They were donated by a private person for the enjoyment of everyone who uses the park. You are not stealing from the city, but from the people who care about the beauty of this park. Shame on you! May the spirits of Sheryl and Maggie haunt you for your selfishness.

related: Rolling over in his grave

extra credit: “Man arrested for stealing flowers off graves to give to girlfriend”

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · kinda creepy · Michigan · public shaming · stealing

So what you’re telling me is to pay at the pump?

November 7th, 2012 · 59 Comments

Writes Tim in Jacksonville, Florida: “Apparently people on the Westside don’t process instructions very well.”

An alternative explanation: People at the Westside Winn-Dixie don’t utilize bold type very well.

Pay at the pump is down. If you remove this sign pay at the pump is still down. If you pull to a different pump. Pay at the pump is still down. Bring your card to the attendant Thank you

related: Pain at the pump

Tags: "customer service" · gas station · Jacksonville

Have your people call my people.

November 6th, 2012 · 34 Comments

Writes our submitter in Canada: “Of the 12 people living the house, only three do any sort of cleaning or washing up. This was the result of several months of accumulated angst.”

Dear household, I am suck of you discusting [sic] c*nts not washing up after your selfs [sic] you have one day to learn before you find your dirty dishes in bed with you. This includes pots, pans, cups, and tea pots. If you have a problem with that I am happy to discuss. Sincerely, Haarlem  Haarlem, I like the way you think, let's discuss this further. Get your people to call my people and we'll do lunch. Love, Ben

related: I did the dishes. Where’s my cookie?

Tags: Canada · cleaning · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · roommates · runaway run-on sentences · smartass · spelling and grammar police

Election fatigue

November 5th, 2012 · 91 Comments

I’ve done some political canvassing before — once in Columbus, Ohio — and in my experience, it was no fun for anyone involved. But don’t worry, kids. It’ll all be over soon.

From Minnesota…

Yes - we're voting. No - we won't be discussing who we are voting for. Yes - I know where our polling place is. No - I'm not telling you if we support or oppose the marriage amendment or school refferendum [sic]. Please don't leave campaign documents.  Thank you!

And Columbus, Ohio…

ES, I am voting for OBAMA, and YES, I know where to VOTE. So please don't knock on my door. P.S. I don't want to hear about the MORMON faith, either. Have a wonderful day.

related: Politics, Masshole-style

extra credit: Do you know where you f’ing polling place is?

Tags: Minnesota · Ohio · politics

Peed off.

November 1st, 2012 · 79 Comments

Writes Jenny in San Diego: “There are four of these identical laminated signs posted at face height around the tiny front lawn of a house in my neighborhood. The lawn actually would look fine if it weren’t for the rude signs.”

Keep your bitches from urinating on the lawn. They are killing the grass.

related post:
Caught in the act
DO YOU KNOW THESE DOGS??

Tags: dogs · neighbors · piss · San Diego