The office break room: where everything is somebody else’s responsibility.
related: I am clearly too busy writing notes, so could somebody less important than me take care of this?
FILED UNDER: cleaning · office
That banana is only just getting ripe.
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:20 pm rating: 40
Ugh, mine either need to still have a little green on them or just be slightly post-green, otherwise they’re too mushy and gross to me.
And then I know someone who has to have them even browner than that for them to be ‘good’, but trying to eat one as brown as the one in the pic would make me involuntarily gag.
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:37 pm rating: 28
I used to think my roommate was weird for liking bananas to be almost green, but that’s the only way I can eat them now, too. Otherwise, they’re mushy and kind of grainy and sickly sweet, and…ugh. *shudder*
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:45 pm rating: 12
“When flecked with brown with a golden hue,
bananas taste the best and are the best for you!”
Dec 13, 2012 at 11:03 pm rating: 15
Looks just right to me. Just enough freckles to be sweet. Not so much black that it’s mushy.
Dec 13, 2012 at 11:59 pm rating: 16
The banana in the pic is about as far as I’ll let it go before I’ll force somebody else eat it. Unless it’s meat, brown simply isn’t a color that whets my appetite.
Dec 14, 2012 at 1:01 pm rating: 2
It seems harsh, but shaming the bad salami is the only way to make it learn to be good.
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:22 pm rating: 75
It’s a good thing salamis can’t read.
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:42 pm rating: 10
Best to smack that salami. Teach it a lesson.
Dec 14, 2012 at 6:40 am rating: 17
I thought only hiding the salami was an effective way to teach it a lesson.
Dec 14, 2012 at 7:49 am rating: 22
Smacking salamis causes blindness!
Dec 14, 2012 at 1:04 pm rating: 17
I would have to fight the urge to modify the second one:
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:39 pm rating: 24
So the real mold’s in your cheeeeeest
Dec 14, 2012 at 10:27 am rating: 4
H for Toy
Possibly he’s the Grinch. After all, his heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots.
Dec 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm rating: 7
H for Toy
Come to think of it, he was also a bad banana with a greasy black peel, but I don’t remember any mention of salami.
Dec 14, 2012 at 1:18 pm rating: 8
That’s because he ate it all before anybody had a chance to even mention it.
Dec 15, 2012 at 12:42 am rating: 1
So, how long is the customer who ordered the bad salami going to have to wait before they get it? That server isn’t going to get a very good tip.
Dec 14, 2012 at 1:47 am rating: 1
I think they might be title ideas for the next Marina Lewycka novel.
Dec 14, 2012 at 4:00 am rating: 0
I’ll be the judge of that.
Dec 14, 2012 at 7:45 am rating: 0
I don’t like overly ripe mold. It has to be a little bit green for me, or else I find it mushy and gross.
Dec 14, 2012 at 8:12 am rating: 28
To be fair, the salami one could be a warning to make sure no one eats it?
Dec 14, 2012 at 8:35 am rating: 1
Considering it’s in a bag, they should have just picked it up and thrown it out. Yes, I know it it’s gross and isn’t the notewriter’s responsibility, but if you’re concerned about there being rotten food in the fridge, wouldn’t the best course of action be to, y’know, get rid of it rather than write a note and let it sit there festering?
Dec 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm rating: 6
I thought it was in the bag for time-out to punish it for being bad.
Dec 14, 2012 at 6:56 pm rating: 9
But Poltergeist, taking direct action like that wouldn’t be passive-agressive!
Dec 18, 2012 at 2:33 pm rating: 2
A coworker used to leave old bananas in her cube until the peel was almost completely black so she could take them home and make banana bread. They get so pungent when they hit that stage and they attract bugs. Take that mess home!
Dec 14, 2012 at 9:39 am rating: 6
Maybe the banana was written on because it’s being stored in the cup cabinet?
We always have a lot of people leave random bowls and cups in the sink for some reason, as if something magical will happen if it sits there long enough. I always make sure to rinse my dishes out directly into their abandoned vessel to make sure it’s extra gross when they finally decide to move it out of the way..
Dec 14, 2012 at 12:08 pm rating: 8
I could use a bad salami right about now.
Dec 14, 2012 at 7:42 pm rating: 1
The banana does loot just about a day beyond the “best by” stage, and the mold on the fridge shelf is gag worthy…makes me glad I always worked where meals were not just provided, but were dished up, served, and cleaned up by people who do that sort of thing for a living.
Dec 15, 2012 at 1:57 am rating: 1
H for Toy
Dec 15, 2012 at 8:59 am rating: 21
Yeah that banana looks just about perfect to me. Anyone who likes them green is probably an alien.
Dec 17, 2012 at 3:46 pm rating: 1
The salad was fucking delious!
Dec 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm rating: 0
That banana is good for banana read. I want my bananas to be partly green. If the banana is difficult to peel and when I take a bite, it’s *sticky*, it’s about 12 hours before being perfect.
Once it smells like banana, I can’t stand it.
Dec 18, 2012 at 9:44 pm rating: 0
Banana *Bread. My B key is hinky. Time for a new keyoard.
What’s really wonderful is that I took both the banana and the salami pictures and completely forgot that I had sent them here.
Dec 20, 2012 at 1:19 am rating: 1
— The Beast Among Us
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
2010: The Funniest Notes of the Year
2009: The Best Notes of the Year
2008: Your Favorite Notes of the Year
Carnivores: keep being awesome!
actually totally reasonable
a little patronizing
clip art catastrophe
flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
landlords and property managers
Moms & Dads
more aggressive than passive
most popular notes of 2010
most popular notes of 2011
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now that's management
sex sex sex
signed with love
spelling and grammar police
thanks (but not really)
unnecessary "quotation marks"
You call that punctuation?