While admiring the neighborhood’s holiday decorations with his family, our submitter in Denver came across this “bokeh of Christmas joy.”
Noticing a folder of photocopied flyers labeled “please take one,” our submitter did so, and while his daughter stared in awe at the abundance of LED-powered holiday cheer, he gawped at the Grinch-like screed that accompanied it.
related: Merry Christmas…with an emphasis on the “meh”
extra credit: How much does it cost to decorate your house with Christmas lights? [boingboing.net]
70 responses so far ↓
#1
LeeAnn
Isn’t that a Bible verse? “And lo, they did sleek right the hell off, like thiefs in the nights.” I just bet you it is.
Dec 17, 2012 at 3:52 pm rating: 77
#2
Who passed out the Haterade?
I don’t get it… where is this fence in picture? Behind the first row of Christmas decorations? In that case, why is our beloved notewriter worried about the fence getting broken, versus the decorations?
Dec 17, 2012 at 3:54 pm rating: 4
#3
kermit
Can someone explain to me the self-censoring in this note? If you’re going to call someone an asshole, why not just write it out?
Dec 17, 2012 at 3:59 pm rating: 24
#4
NonnyMus
I love how he writes “damn”, but implies “assholes”.
Dec 17, 2012 at 4:09 pm rating: 4
#5
shwo!
Perhaps the 2% are stumbling into your fence because you’ve destroyed their night vision.
But thanks for the free hangman game! I think the word is “anthills.” Do I win?
Dec 17, 2012 at 4:14 pm rating: 92
#6
NonnyMus
Lookit that! I originally came on to question the use of the word “bokeh” in this context and got all sidetracked!
Damn!
Dec 17, 2012 at 4:20 pm rating: 10
#7
Rocket J
This whole situation is the definition of irony. And not stupid hipster “I’m-wearing-glasses-with-no-lenses” irony, but honest to God irony!
Dec 17, 2012 at 4:21 pm rating: 4
#8
Sir Puke
Wouldn’t a “Do not lean on the fence” sign be a more effective tact?
Dec 17, 2012 at 4:26 pm rating: 20
#9
Smokey
Damn a– h—s!
Dec 17, 2012 at 5:05 pm rating: 3
#10
GinaT
I thought we just wanted the 2% to pay their fair share, not stay home because they damn well weren’t invited.
Dec 17, 2012 at 6:36 pm rating: 16
#11
f2point8
And no footprints in the snow. Turn off your damn engine. Sign the insurance disclaimer. Chip in for the electric bill. No talking. Hurry up, other people are waiting. No gawking, I hate gawkers.
Dec 17, 2012 at 7:28 pm rating: 26
#12
Silence
I just want to know where the hell they store all that garbage during the rest of the year.
Dec 17, 2012 at 8:00 pm rating: 21
#13
The Grinch
Stop looking at the lights. Dems my lights. They aren’t for you. Move along.
Dec 17, 2012 at 8:10 pm rating: 16
#14
Gretchen
sleek:
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Dec 17, 2012 at 8:51 pm rating: 13
#15
Ely North
I always suspected that bespectacling your house in an overabundance of holiday cheer was just a front to try to cover up the demons writhing within your black heart.
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:18 pm rating: 13
#16
Cranky Britches
Maybe if he doesn’t want his fence broken or people coming to stare at this… um, whatever it is he could, oh I don’t know, not have such a spectacle in his damn yard???
I also feel bad for his neighbors who are blinded by this horrid sight.
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:20 pm rating: 16
#17
Urbitch
I’m ashamed to admit it, but it kind of makes me angry that in 5 lines of text they used the words “bokeh” and “screed”. I mean, how fucking pretentious is that?
Dec 17, 2012 at 11:16 pm rating: 6
#18
bitchy the dwarf
DON’T go towards the light…. there is danger in the light.
Dec 18, 2012 at 6:37 am rating: 0
#19
The Elf
Can’t sleep, Santa Army will eat me. Can’t sleep, Santa Army will eat me. Can’t sleep, Santa Army will eat me.
Seriously, could you imagine being the house across the way? You’d need blackout curtains.
Dec 18, 2012 at 6:44 am rating: 11
#20
Dane Zeller
Dear Stay Off My Fence,
I’m sorry I broke your fence. I’ll be over tonight to maybe pay for your fence.
Maybe not.
Dec 18, 2012 at 7:35 am rating: 1
#21
LOLCATS
While his letter was completely ridiculous, I understand how he might be upset. We actually own a Cut-Your-Own Christmas Tree farm and every year we decorate the same giant tree in the middle of the lot so that families can take photos by it as they have been for years now. This year we’ve had people stealing the ornaments… who does that? O_o
Dec 18, 2012 at 7:52 am rating: 17
#22
redank
M_rry Chr_stm_s A__H____S
Dec 18, 2012 at 10:52 am rating: 6
#23
Will
The other 2% are obviously airheads? That’s not a very nice thing to say.
Dec 18, 2012 at 10:59 am rating: 5
#24
nunavut guy
“So this is Christmas”………..
Dec 18, 2012 at 11:55 am rating: 8
#25
t-rex
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Dec 18, 2012 at 12:14 pm rating: 4
#26
Brian
Dear Sir,
I was taking me evening constitutional at twilight Thursday last. Enjoying me evening exercise, I was pulled all out of sorts when suddenly, before my eyes, came a torrent of light! Blinded and confused, assured in my heart that those gray people from the movies were here to take me and do unspeakable tests on me, I tried to escape, yet in the horrible illumination I could tell neither left from right nor up from down.
Out of sorts and in fear from my life, I fled in a random direction until I was knocked senseless by what I believed to be some form of alien force field. I fortunately retained the presense of mind to flee, though I was in such a state that I can scarcely recall anything until I awoke on my own divan some hours later with a nasty bruise on my head and nightmares I fear I will never be free of.
It occurs to me now that the blinding illumination may not have been caused by any extraworldly or paranormal force, but rather by the intensity of your jovial display. Indeed, as I can read by the light of it through my front window, though I be half a mile a way, it seems most likely. This leads me to the embarrassing conclusion that it was I who damaged your charming yard enclosure.
Of course I would be pleased to make such recompense as would be necessary. I assume, being a man who obviously values justice and right, you are equally willing to pay for the countless hours of therapy I will be forced to undertake in an effort to recover from the mental anguish your delightful display has caused. For indeed, to not do so would inherently cause you to be seen as an a__h__l_ yourself.
Yours in Neighborly Affection
The Elderly Neighbor
Dec 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm rating: 23
#27
redheadwglasses
I think the A_ _ H_ _ _ S is a starter for a good game of hangman.
Dec 18, 2012 at 9:34 pm rating: 1
#28
Nicole Boyhouse
I’m a little bit in love with this guy.
Dec 19, 2012 at 3:35 pm rating: 1
#29
Reuben
I’m with the note writer. He’s done something amazing that other people benefit from. Don’t fuck his shit up!
Dec 19, 2012 at 7:14 pm rating: 1
#30
Joe Blow
Christ, what an asshole..
Dec 20, 2012 at 1:30 am rating: 0
#31
catethulhu
Why are you all acting like the notewriter is an asshole? I think I would be pissed too, if people were destroying my property. Perhaps you all missed that part about destroyed property, and people being chickenshits and not fessing up? How is that behavior not dickish?
Dec 20, 2012 at 4:06 am rating: 3
#32
Leevm
Does anyone else read this in the voice of Hank from King of the hill?
Dec 22, 2012 at 9:25 pm rating: 0
#33
jdaniel
Are the people who put up such light displays doing it for others to enjoy, or doing it for the attention?
Dec 28, 2012 at 10:37 pm rating: 1
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