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A rash of mysterious rashes

December 20th, 2012 · 33 comments

While walking down a quiet street in Leicester, England, Tom saw this “ANGRY CAPITALISED note” in the window of a house. “Amid so many unanswered questions,” Tom says, “one thing is for sure: Mike has a window and he ain’t afraid to use it.”

Carla and Hilary, I hope that your hideous rashes go away soon. It really sucks that Leah gave it to you. The symptoms sound repulsive! As for Liz, that thing on know..well I hope that heals quickly as well. Kristy, congratulations on your clean bill of health! Mike

related: Desperately Seeking Closure

FILED UNDER: public shaming · U.K. · WTF?

33 responses so far ↓

  • #1   kermit

    Why isn’t Liz’s name highlighted? Is it because the note writer had something to do with “the thing on know…”?

    Dec 20, 2012 at 7:09 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Who passed out the Haterade?

      As Barney would say, “Sharing means caring.” And it appears there’s been a whole lot of caring going on.

      Dec 20, 2012 at 7:15 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   DNH

      And even more sharing

      Dec 21, 2012 at 2:29 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #2   ladylou

    My mom’s name is Leah and she lives in Leicester. Not the one in England. Is this in England? If not, mom’s got some ‘splainin’ to do.

    Dec 20, 2012 at 7:22 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Purr Monster

      I would guess England based on the spelling of the word “capitalised.”

      Dec 21, 2012 at 6:54 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   sassmaster

      I think it would make more sense if it was Leicester, MA because that town is just…ew. Not that I’m any better since I’m from Worcester, haha.

      Dec 21, 2012 at 1:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   nunavut guy

      It’s not England………..and your mom is just fine.

      Dec 21, 2012 at 5:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #3   JK

    Not sure what the law is there, but insinuating someone’s got a venereal disease could be grounds for a defamation suit. It is in some places. Just using first names if people in the area know to whom the note is referring wouldn’t get you out of it.

    PS. Congratulations, Kristy.

    Dec 20, 2012 at 8:08 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Jami

      I’m assuming they wrote this note because that batch talks so loudly about their VD that the entire town knows about it.

      Dec 20, 2012 at 11:16 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Purr Monster

      It could just be scabies, maybe?

      Dec 21, 2012 at 6:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Dana

      As for defamation and suing for such in the UK – we brits tend to go for the more direct approach !!

      Dec 21, 2012 at 7:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   Mady

      Or…. Maybe they were talking loudly about “rashes” they do not actually have just to see if this Mike character was a nosy eavesdropping neighbor?

      That’s what first came to my mind anyway! I would like to think that people would not scream loudly about problems such as these…

      Dec 24, 2012 at 2:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   Seanette

      I’d like to think that, too. Unfortunately, I’ve taken public transit and been in stores, restaurants, etc., around cell phone users a few too many times. I’ve heard more about the very personal lives of strangers and their families/friends than I would have wanted to know about my relatives.

      Dec 25, 2012 at 7:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #4   H for Toy

    But what if they actual have a venereal disease?

    Dec 20, 2012 at 8:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Mike Francis bang

      Truth is not a defense in a defamation suit.

      Dec 22, 2012 at 2:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #5   juju-skittles

    They could just have chicken pox. That looks pretty manky.

    Dec 20, 2012 at 10:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #6   Zen

    I just want somebody to analyse this guy’s signature. It’s quite something.

    Dec 20, 2012 at 10:36 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #7   redank

    thumbs up for Kristy and her clean bill of health!

    Dec 21, 2012 at 12:37 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #8   Ruby

    I’m going to say Mike got woken up by some tramps walking home from the pub, talking TOO DAMN LOUDLY about stuff they should keep to themselves.

    Dec 21, 2012 at 1:28 am   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   anotherfool

      or cell phones. I’ve heard many ob-gyn details shouted into cell phones over the past 10 years.

      Dec 21, 2012 at 6:11 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   The Elf

      My god yes. Between commuting on public transportation and working in a cubicle, I know far more about stranger’s and near-stranger’s medical problems than no person ever should.

      Dec 21, 2012 at 6:17 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #9   t-rex

    And this will be why Mike won’t get laid for the next two years. Did he give those symptoms to all those women? Or did he over hear the gossip from the neighbors? Who cares, his lips have so little practice that they let everything slip out!

    Dec 21, 2012 at 7:33 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #10   Ely North

    Mike’s parents should have named him DICK!

    Dec 21, 2012 at 9:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   The Elf

      Please. Use the dimunitive, Dickie.

      Dec 21, 2012 at 11:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #11   We shall speak anon

    There once was a woman from Leicester
    Whose rashes had started to fester
    With painful sores on her a**
    So Mike stuck a note on the glass
    Saying, “I wonder what could have possessed her?”

    Dec 21, 2012 at 2:01 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Islay

      6/10. A for effort, but the meter is off. :P

      Dec 21, 2012 at 2:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Mike Francis bang

      Easily fixed:

      There once was a woman from Leicester
      Whose rashes had started to fester
      Painful sores on her a**
      Mike wrote on her glass
      “I wonder what could have possessed her”

      Dec 22, 2012 at 2:59 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #12   Nony

    For some reason, I imagined a gay man that loves to gab as the writer of this note.

    Dec 21, 2012 at 6:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #13   Jaid

    I’m reminded of Tom Leher…

    Dec 21, 2012 at 6:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #14   Dana

    Maybe it was written by Mike’s wife after she went through his phone and discovered angry text messages from all his sidepieces about the STDs they’d contracted.

    Dec 22, 2012 at 6:55 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #15   redheadwglasses

    Sounds like Mike is getting angry over getting turned down, and instead of resorting to that old “they must be lesbians” defense, he went another direction.

    Dec 26, 2012 at 12:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #16   perlcat

    Come and knock on our door
    We’ve been waiting for you
    Where the kisses are hers and hers and hers and hers and hers
    [Fiv]e’s company, too!
    Come and dance on our floor
    Take a step that is new
    We’ve a loveable space that needs your face
    [Fiv]e’s company, too!
    You’ll see that life is a ball again and
    laughter is callin’ for you
    Down at our rendezvous,
    [Fiv]e’s company, too!

    Dec 27, 2012 at 2:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #17   Karen

    I just hope Mike doesn’t live next door to a doctor’s surgery/gynocologist/sexual health clinic etc with poor privacy practices.

    Jan 1, 2013 at 8:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up


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