This year’s round of holiday decor-nappings

December 22nd, 2012 · 26 comments

So far this  year, we’ve gotten no missing Baby Jesus reports. (Yet.) However, it looks like it’s still hard out there for a giant candy cane.

Just ask Anderson in Huntsville, Alabama:

Mommy Deer wants her babies back!

Gina in New Philadelphia, Ohio:

To the person who took my Christmas wreath...you can have the tree too! You must need it more than I do! Merry Christmas! Danny's Grill

The Bishop Family in Genoa, Nebraska:

This is for the 3 little PUNKS In the silver Chevy truck with 10 county Plates That stole our decorations THANKS!!! Our Grandkids REALLY appreciate it. MERRY CHRISTMAS! BY THE WAY YOU DROPPED THESE

or David in Florence, South Carolina:

To whoever stole (or is planning to steal) our Christmas lights

The missing strand of lights, as well as the ones remaining on our porch, were rubbed through each of our unkempt butt-cheeks during a game of

related: The circle of Hell Dante forget to mention

FILED UNDER: Christmas · holiday spirit · stealing · vandalism


26 responses so far ↓

  • #1   koi1686

    The last picture is refreshingly legible. So many people don’t take the time to make their posters legible. :(

    Dec 22, 2012 at 6:42 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Jami

    Oh there’s been stolen baby Jesus or two and some jerk stole a bunch of gift boxes that were to be sent to soldiers in Afghanistan.

    Dec 22, 2012 at 7:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   H for Toy

      I hope that guy gets exactly what he deserves for Christmas!

      Dec 24, 2012 at 9:39 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Jami

      A coal enema?

      Dec 24, 2012 at 12:31 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   nunavut guy

    It’s those dam kids with the peppermint allergies who are ruining our holidays!

    Dec 22, 2012 at 9:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Walter

    A tree at a fire station in NH had its lights stripped off TWICE! Merry Christmas. Santa is watching.

    Dec 23, 2012 at 12:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   not-so-sure sam

    is it worse that adults were playing truth or dare, or that their butt-cheeks were unkempt?

    Dec 23, 2012 at 3:36 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Who passed out the Haterade?

      To me, the really disturbing part was the image of a group of people strung together by lights running through their butt-cheeks. Put that out in the front yard, and it would make on hell of a Christmas display.

      Dec 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   The Elf

      And yet, that note completely explains yesterday’s. Enjoy your mysterious rashes, light bulb thieves!

      Dec 23, 2012 at 10:40 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   ClearlyDemented

    I’m confused. Did one truck have 10 county plates or is 10 a county in Michigan or were there 10 trucks with county plates?

    Dec 23, 2012 at 9:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   kittenvision

      10 is a county plate in Nebraska. But there’s been achristmas miracle! http://www.omaha.com/article/20121224/NEWS/712249943/1685

      Dec 24, 2012 at 3:40 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   redheadwglasses

      I’m bored enough at work today to do some research. It could be that “IO” is short for Ionia or Iosco (Counties in Michigan).

      Dec 26, 2012 at 12:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   ClearlyDemented

      Kind of awesome, KittenVision. Thanks for the link.

      Dec 26, 2012 at 9:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   redheadwglasses

      Weird! I swear that when I posted that yesterday, the post from 12/24 with more info was not showing!

      Dec 27, 2012 at 11:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Tammy

    One Halloween I was so sick of my pumpkins being stolen that I bought another huge one and coated it with vaseline…..when the thief grabbed it, it slipped out of his hands and landed on his foot..his cursing woke me and I watched out the window as he hobbled/hopped down the driveway…the best part was his friends who fled and ditched him..

    Dec 24, 2012 at 4:00 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Lil'

      My coworker was just telling me that he was one of those punks who used to steal pumpkins. He and his friends would joy ride, look for the biggest pumpkins they could find and smash them on the porches. One Halloween, his friend ran up to a house, snatched the pumpkin, held it up in the air and for dramatic effect jumped up as he slammed it to the ground. The problem was, he landed wrong and broke his ankle. As the little jackass lay on the ground screaming in pain, his buddies sped away. The homeowner loaded him in the car and drove him to the ER. Awkward…

      Dec 24, 2012 at 1:43 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   H for Toy

    I have nothing to add except, Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you have the day off, and your holidays are free of passive-aggressive relatives, but full of funny, passive-aggressive notes :)

    Dec 24, 2012 at 7:31 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Julia

    If I was going to deface or otherwise alter the first sign, I would add another sign below the first that reads, “BABIES BACK BABIES BACK.”

    Dec 24, 2012 at 11:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   redank

    I thought “unkempt” was a typo for “unkept”…so, I google-searched unkempt:

    Adjective
    (esp. of a person) Having an untidy or disheveled appearance.
    Synonyms
    disheveled – dishevelled – untidy – slovenly – scruffy

    Dec 24, 2012 at 3:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Tor Hershman

    Wasn’t there a “Dragnet” episode with a stolen Baby Hay Zeus?

    Dec 25, 2012 at 5:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   chriss

    Hey, they got their stuff back: looks like the signs worked!!

    http://www.omaha.com/article/20121224/NEWS/712249943

    Dec 25, 2012 at 11:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   doompggy

    There’s been a christmas miracle!

    http://www.omaha.com/article/20121224/NEWS/712249943

    Dec 26, 2012 at 4:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   redheadwglasses

    I’m not buying the “we ran these christmas lights with sharp bits of glass through our dirty ass cracks,” and I doubt the thieves believe it as well.

    Dec 26, 2012 at 12:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   creagray

    Hey, that was front page news here in Nebraska. We don’t have much to do in the winter months.

    Dec 26, 2012 at 7:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Lynz

    Those Christmas lights were fucking delicious.

    Dec 28, 2012 at 7:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   e

    obPedant: “whomever” should be “whoever”. “He stole”, not “him stole”.

    Jan 6, 2013 at 4:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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