Welcome Back to Work

January 2nd, 2013 · 31 comments

I’m normally not the littering type, but something about this mess of bullet points makes me want to upend the nearest trash can and just go absolutely apeshit. (And how was your holiday, boss?)

Please Please put all your rubbish away in a bin. There is probably a bin right next to you. Be a conscientious worker. Your good attitude will be noted. We are all here to help.

related: Clues that you might be trapped in a soul-sucking job

 

FILED UNDER: Birmingham · garbage · now that's management · U.K.


31 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Joanne M.

    Makky D’s? They do that stuff at work???

    Jan 2, 2013 at 4:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Elf

      Only when the line manager is in the office and can be included.

      Jan 3, 2013 at 10:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   My ame is Princess!

    *What Is Worse Than All Capitals?
    *Capitalizing The Just The First Letter In All Of Words.
    *My Eyes Can’t Take This Abuse!

    Jan 2, 2013 at 4:43 pm   rating: 57  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Risha

      You know what’s a great capitalization technique? One That’s More Difficult To Type Or Read Than All Caps, No Caps, Or Proper Capitalization.

      Jan 2, 2013 at 8:01 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Risha

      I suppose it might be better
      Than the woman at work that
      Only capitalizes the beginning of each
      Line. i don’t even know where you’d
      Get that from.

      Jan 2, 2013 at 8:09 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   JK

      The unnecessary comma is wasted punctuation. Does it go in the bin, or should we ask the line manager?

      Jan 2, 2013 at 8:35 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   BrookeDiz

      Risha, maybe your co-worker is a poet.

      Jan 2, 2013 at 10:33 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Jamoche

      Risha: Your co-worker doesn’t understand wordwrap so she hits return where she thinks the line should break, and her software oh-so-helpfully assumes it’s a new sentence and caps it.

      Jan 2, 2013 at 10:42 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Risha

      Ooooooh. Somewhat terrifying coming from the programmer writing a bunch of JCL for me, but that does make sense.

      Jan 3, 2013 at 7:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Line worker

    “hey, boss, I’m trying to decide if this goes in the bin or the recycling. I heard you would help.”

    Jan 2, 2013 at 4:55 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   H for Toy

      “I’m debating between Italian and Chinese for lunch. What do you think, boss?” said with a smile, of course, so that my boss can note my good attitude.

      Jan 2, 2013 at 4:58 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Rob H.

      Is it Makky D’s?

      Jan 2, 2013 at 5:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Nami

    I”m going to assume Makky D’s is the same as Mickey D’s (McDonald’s) over here in the US?

    Jan 2, 2013 at 5:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   A Stewart

      Yep, in the UK we call it Maccy D’s. Never seen it written “makky” before though.

      Jan 3, 2013 at 1:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   justme

    Why would anyone center align a bulleted list?

    Jan 2, 2013 at 6:17 pm   rating: 54  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   The Elf

      Oh, good, I’m not the only one who immediately recoiled in horror when I saw that. The point of a bullet list is to have all your list of things aligned for easy reading. Center-aligning a bullet list makes the opposite effect.

      Also, Capitalizing Every Word Is A Technique Reserved For Titles And Headings, Not For Ordinary Sentences.

      I suppose we should count our blessings. No underlining, italics, or Comic Sans fonts.

      Jan 3, 2013 at 7:01 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   writer

      hmm, center alignment makes this hard to read. bullets should help . . .

      Jan 3, 2013 at 10:10 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Roto13

    Please Put All Of Your Rubbish Away In A Bin is the title of the extended haiku that follows.

    Jan 2, 2013 at 6:32 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Ashes

    Even worse than the center aligned bullets, and the Capitalization Of Every Word, I think is the fact that somewhere along the line this note veers drastically off course.

    The bit about ‘Your good attitude will be noted’ raised an eyebrow, but ‘Remember your line manager is in the office’ just seems blantantly unrelated.

    Jan 2, 2013 at 6:35 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   shwo! bang

    Didn’t I see “Your Good Attitude Will Be Noted” and “We Are All Here To Help” posters at the Ministry of Information in “Brazil”?

    Jan 2, 2013 at 7:16 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   H for Toy

      Yeah, “Please Remember That Your Line Manager Is In The Office, And Can Be Included In Any Decision You Make,” has an Orwellian feel.

      Jan 3, 2013 at 11:17 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Sir Puke

    I wonder how much time was taken to compose this list? Was it a major task?
    I am reminded of mission statements that came down from our betters. Those were useless and quickly forgotten.

    Jan 2, 2013 at 8:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   pooham

      No kidding. My group’s management had a two-day off-site meeting at a resort to come up with a new mission statement that made no difference whatsoever.

      “Wow, good thing we decided on the perfect mission statement. Productivity is up 15%.”

      Jan 3, 2013 at 12:31 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Ace of Space

    Hey boss, I’m trying to decide whether to shove this note down your throat or up your ass. I heard you could help with that.

    Jan 2, 2013 at 8:54 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   redank

    That’s just garbage…oops I mean “Rubbish”

    Jan 2, 2013 at 9:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   0rd

    Looks like someone just discovered the bullet key and the caps shift key. And being a conscientious person she kept going until she filled the entire page, wouldn’t want any paper to go to waste!

    Jan 2, 2013 at 11:48 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   dizit

    Manohman! Things like this list, and all the other office related notes, make me incredibly happy I have never worked in an office. Yes, I had to deal with some prize asses in my job, but why do office workers appear to be a breed apart? Not to mention a breed any sane person would not want to be a part of.

    Jan 3, 2013 at 2:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   redheadwglasses

    This note isn’t very PA, but it IS very annoying.

    Jan 3, 2013 at 11:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   shepd

    The use of the royal we in a PA note just adds to the delish.

    Jan 3, 2013 at 9:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Answerguy

    I know a website that if you tried to post something in all capitals it would publish it with the first letter of each word capitalized instead. For the longest time I thought a particular poster was doing it himself and it was driving me crazy. I sent him a PM (passive-aggressive style of course) asking him why he went to the extra trouble of capitalizing each letter. He said he didn’t do that and didn’t know why it showed up like that at the website. Finally found out from another source that it was the website converting his all caps writing to first letter caps. I then PM’d him asking him why did he
    write in all caps. He didn’t realize that was bad form.

    Jan 5, 2013 at 7:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Wilma Jo

    These people probably need help with their TPS reports.

    Jan 16, 2013 at 2:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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