Our anonymous submitter in L.A. says this opus was posted at the kitchen of a production company working on a network television show…where at least two people seem to have too much time on their hands.
related: Dear Desperate for Salad
The Craft Services DTs
January 16th, 2013 · 47 comments
FILED UNDER: cleaning · kitchen · Los Angeles · TL;DR
(I hope, anyway. Brain is fried and I may not make any sense to anyone but myself.)
47 responses so far ↓
#1
everover
Was the second “two” some sort of pun…?
Jan 16, 2013 at 7:02 pm rating: 2
#2
Fridge Pirate
Everything was fucking delicious!
Jan 16, 2013 at 7:08 pm rating: 5
#3
Red Delicious
Some people get a bit too touchy about what they consider a mess, I think. I once left a box of Triscuits on my desk at the end of a work day by accident, and was suddenly deemed the office slob, complete with PA note and everything. Someone forgets to throw away a granola bar wrapper and it warrants a two page note, in caps?
Aren’t we overreacting a bit here?
Jan 16, 2013 at 7:18 pm rating: 21
#4
Bec
Perhaps the secretary harbours secret desires of becoming a sitcom writer & this is her “audition piece”. Maybe she puts her incredibly detailed notes all around the office in hopes of being noticed by the right people.
Jan 16, 2013 at 7:30 pm rating: 6
#5
E
Wait, who has too much free time???
Jan 16, 2013 at 8:06 pm rating: 32
#6
f2point8
HEY, YOU. YES, YOU. CAPS LOCK IS ON!!!!!
Jan 16, 2013 at 8:08 pm rating: 23
#7
Doc
I worked in the film biz for too many years, and each year it got worse. Nobody wanted to clean after themselves, and they couldn’t even figure out how to open a carton of milk.they are all used to being catered to, even the PAs, and heaven forbid you ask them to do their job while they were texting!
Jan 16, 2013 at 8:32 pm rating: 9
#8
juju_skittles
It’s the Seinfeld note – a note about nothing.
Jan 17, 2013 at 12:23 am rating: 7
#9
dizit
I’m with Doc. I, too, worked for many years in the film biz and the PAs just got worse and worse as the years went on. They all seemed to want to get into another, more prestigios position so spent a lot of working hours doing everything except their job, trying to be noticed by the cinematographer, or the gaffer, or the grip. They’d run through the craft service line leaving a mess behind, while the actual craft service people are running their tails off trying to keep a full, attractive, and neat table.
Jan 17, 2013 at 12:59 am rating: 6
#10
AMoparGirl
I get it completely. In the communal area, you have to considerate to others. Where I work, they’ll empty a pack of shared cookies & leave the empty box just sit there, open. What, you couldn’t have pitched when you grabbed the las one? Lazy asses.
Jan 17, 2013 at 7:02 am rating: 10
#11
The Elf
If you’re going to go through the trouble of writing a passive aggressive note over a granola wrapper, dirty coffee cup, and a little bit on the counter, you might as well go big or go home.
Jan 17, 2013 at 7:24 am rating: 11
#12
The Elf
Pet peeve: Using both left and right justification. This is as bad as center aligned bullet points. Inevitably, there will be a long word that is too long to fit at the end of the line and leaves a lot of space, causing the line to be stretched out. You can see it in this note with “productions, the ones that sign your check, care.” It’s right above the break between pages and caused by the use of “Alternatively”.
Here’s an alternative: Use left justification only, and let your PAN become more readable.
Jan 17, 2013 at 7:27 am rating: 8
#13
redank
“To the hilarious slob” – how great! I’ll have to start my email with this.
Jan 17, 2013 at 10:02 am rating: 5
#14
Nope
Simple solution, don’t provide a “break room.” I don’t get why people would not just use disposable dishes/flatware in an office or office-like environment anyways. Who wants to wash dishes? No one, that’s who.
Jan 17, 2013 at 10:09 am rating: 4
#15
Macca
I enjoy this note. I’m not sure why the writing style appeals to me so much, but it does. It was both entertaining and informative. A+
Jan 17, 2013 at 10:31 am rating: 5
#16
Joe
People seem to assume that because this note only specifies a couple messy items, that those were the only things the note writer was complaining about. Judging by their description, I figure there is much more left to the imagination that they dealt with.
Jan 17, 2013 at 11:58 am rating: 7
#17
Eileen
Love the Capslock Rage. I was hearing it my head in an R. Lee Ermey “drill sergeant” voice, and it was hilarious!
Jan 17, 2013 at 2:09 pm rating: 7
#18
We shall speak anon
Given where it was posted, I keep hearing the sound of a canned laugh track accompanying this note…
Jan 17, 2013 at 5:46 pm rating: 5
#19
shesajem
wow this person would HATE my work, the kitchen is always a little messy but I guess I don’t have my head up my ass and take less than a minute out of my day to do such a small task as put something in the bin.. but that’s just me.
Jan 17, 2013 at 5:58 pm rating: 0
#20
Poltergeist
I’m all for cleaning up after yourself, but it’s very difficult to be on somebody’s side when all you want to do is tell them to shut the fuck up.
Jan 18, 2013 at 4:02 am rating: 4
#21
Repton Brepcount
Surely it should be Faithfully?
Jan 18, 2013 at 4:13 am rating: 0
#22
Neeners
This guy went home and screamed into his pillow for two hours before falling asleep sobbing silently through his frustrated tears!
It’s ok guy, don’t worry….it’ll get worse!
Jan 19, 2013 at 1:18 am rating: 2
#23
Answerguy
If the letter writer came to me and said “Someone needs to be fired”. I would say “I agree, you’re fired!”.
Jan 19, 2013 at 9:51 am rating: 1
#24
Merri
That note writer needs an editor. They want to be funny and cutting, but it ends up being tedious.
Jan 20, 2013 at 9:20 am rating: 6
#25
Brian H
The poster might want to read “Bossypants” where Tina Fey describes that comedy writers have a penchant for urinating in jars and cups then leave them around even though a bathroom is close by. The wrapper pales in comparision.
I was in the Army and law enforcement and I never heard of people doing that where it was even the least bit acceptable. I would flip out if a co-worker did that.
Jan 22, 2013 at 9:00 pm rating: 1
#26
Jessica
jesus christ you could have scrubbed the whole kitchen top to bottom in the amount of time it took to write that essay
Jan 23, 2013 at 5:33 am rating: 1
#27
ne1
ok so may he wrote in caps to make it easier to read/see… some ppl do that you know…. and who cares about the spaces, he gets the point across, in a funny way…. cant we just laugh this off??? why does there need to be an argument on how its typed? his ‘essay’ made to to a very popular website… and lots of ppl like it, so i say, bravo! and on to the next
Feb 7, 2013 at 1:13 pm rating: 0
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