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Please, no, anything but emo!

January 31st, 2013 · 21 comments

Emmet in Phoenix says that at his office, “people donate magazines for others to peruse, but sometimes they grow legs and disappear.” Emmet recently found this (totally metal) back-and-forth about the issue…on the issues themselves.

This is a gift to the wellness retreat room. If you steal this magazine ~ like you did last time - may your gear get stolen or destroyed by a fire or worse yet: used on an emo record.

This is a gift to the wellness retreat room. If you steal this magazine ~ like you did last time - may your gear get stolen or destroyed by a fire or worse yet: used on an emo record.

I only borrowed it to finish the Metallica interview. Please don't steal my gear and sell it to an emo band.

I only borrowed it to finish the Metallica interview. Please don't steal my gear and sell it to an emo band.

related: The Hot Topic at this Year’s Warped Tour

extra credit: These Babies Are Totally Metal [youtube]

 

FILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · band · music · not-so-veiled threats · office · Phoenix


21 responses so far ↓

  • #1   juju-skittles

    I get the feeling that baking a batch of brownies would also be considered punishment for these tough dudes.

    Jan 31, 2013 at 6:07 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    reply to this comment

    • #1.1   Beatus Mongous

      Perhaps marijuana brownies are in order.

      Jan 31, 2013 at 6:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #2   Melba Toast

    Calm down, guys. It’s just a magazine. Have some whiskey in the jarrrr0!

    Jan 31, 2013 at 7:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

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  • #3   bees

    Lars Ulrich is an asshole.

    Jan 31, 2013 at 11:51 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

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    • #3.1   The Elf

      Maybe. But a talented asshole!

      Feb 1, 2013 at 7:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.2   concertgoer

      Not really… there are plenty of more talented drummers.

      See, I was at that one concert where one friend dragged along his girlfriend, who was drumming in her own little band, and she was banging away the beat during the concert… on a trashcan, we were way over by the side, near some security guys , and at the end of the concert one of the security guys came over and congratulated my friend on having a girlfriend that had the beat down much better than the original drummer…

      Feb 1, 2013 at 1:11 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.3   Beatus Mongous

      Most security guards would love to have a beat down.

      Feb 1, 2013 at 1:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.4   Tom

      Concertgoer: I…I feel bad for bringing it up, but you weren’t bothering anyone else, right? Because I’ve had several concerts halfway ruined by people “going along” with the music and ignoring the reactions of people around them as they sing/drum along (or alternately completely ignoring the music and talk-yelling to companions). You didn’t do that, right? Please tell me you weren’t bothering anyone! I don’t want to think that one of our own are one of those assholes that does things over the music everyone else paid to listen to.

      Feb 1, 2013 at 2:38 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.5   concertgoer

      What kind of concerts do you go to? The kind I’m talking about has sound levels of well over 100 dB so doing anything over the music is really not possible.

      Feb 1, 2013 at 8:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.6   The Elf

      Well, considering the amount of money Metallica has made, I would guess that A LOT of people think he’s talented enough for them.

      Feb 2, 2013 at 6:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.7   Amelia

      It is a pretty widely held opinion amongst Metallica fans (and I am one btw) that Lars Ulrich is both an asshole and not the most talented drummer. The size of their fanbase doesn’t necessarily speak to the general opinion of their technical competence.

      Feb 3, 2013 at 12:02 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.8   Tom

      concertgoer: I go to metal concerts for the most part, and believe me when the person two people behind me decides to belt it out along to a death metal song, I can definitely hear them drown out the lead singer. God, it’s awful.

      Feb 4, 2013 at 10:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #4   TRT

    Or indeed a band of ostriches or flamingos, even!

    Feb 1, 2013 at 4:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    reply to this comment

    • #4.1   The Elf

      As long as it used on A Flock Of Seagulls record.

      Feb 1, 2013 at 7:11 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
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  • #5   H for Toy

    please don’t steal my gear and sell it to an emo band…
    especially because they might hurt themselves with the grappling hooks.

    Feb 1, 2013 at 11:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

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  • #6   Cake

    ///_-

    Feb 1, 2013 at 11:59 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

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  • #7   anonymous

    STEPHEN ROOT IS A KLINGON!

    Feb 2, 2013 at 10:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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  • #8   Jami

    I find the lack of Rufus Sewell in this PAN disturbing.

    Also, I think Karen Carpenter was the far superior percussionist.

    Yeah, that’s right, I went there, reminding people she started out behind the drums.

    Feb 3, 2013 at 1:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

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  • #9   Adam

    So, the guy who loans his magazines to the “wellness retreat room” thinks having one’s ‘gear’ used on an emo record is the ultimate punishment?

    Feb 4, 2013 at 8:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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  • #10   Amy in Toronto

    I love that the original note was written on what appear to be four audio cassette labels.

    Feb 4, 2013 at 3:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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  • #11   mark kenseth

    I can’t imagine ever reading a Metallica article.

    Feb 7, 2013 at 7:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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