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A politician in the making

February 7th, 2013 · 27 comments

Writes our submitter: “My fourth-grade son had to fill out an application for a classroom job at school. His first choice was ‘Cubby Monitor.’ (The cubby is where the student place their coats and book bags during the school day.) Apparently, the young lady that currently does the job is apparently not living up to his expectations!”

Write a paragraph explaining why I should hire you for this job.  You should hire me for this job becauce, once the cubby monitor missed some stuff in the cubby and I was so mad I told the job Maneger. Unlike her, I will tell the the people to bring there stuf home. Also, if I catch anyone steeling anything I will turn them in right away. I think I'm perfect for this job.

related: The Parent Tax


27 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Tsuki

    Elementary school is a cold and unforgiving world.

    Feb 7, 2013 at 7:20 pm   rating: 67  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   thrall bang

      A real law-and-order type.

      Feb 7, 2013 at 7:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #2   Chelsea


    Feb 7, 2013 at 7:23 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #3   Nami

    Sounds like a future hiring manager/CEO in the making? :P

    Feb 7, 2013 at 7:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #4   sockpuppet

    sounds like the Hitler Youth. Hire him right away.

    Feb 7, 2013 at 9:37 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #5   Rene

    Oh, all the frenemies this kid will make in life.

    Feb 7, 2013 at 10:47 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #6   Jennifer

    Dwight? Is that you?

    Feb 7, 2013 at 11:16 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #7   t-rex

    Politicians don’t do anything.

    Feb 7, 2013 at 11:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      He isn’t either. That’s why the analogy works so well. He wants to be the “cubby monitor”, not the “cubby cleaner”.

      Feb 8, 2013 at 9:32 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #8   FeRD bang

    Someone on Facebook actually commented (I’ll never understand that — the people who see the notification from the PAN Facebook page, come here to read the post, but then go back over to Facebook to post their reactions!), and I quote:

    this is cute, but i dont really feel like it fits the theme of the website

    …I can only assume this is the first PAN that person’s ever read, if he truly feels that way. :roll:

    Feb 7, 2013 at 11:44 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Cyllan

      From now on, this type of people shall be known as PANazi.

      Feb 8, 2013 at 8:01 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #9   nurgleth

    If there wont be a follow up about the epic battle between the former cubby monitor and the note writer I’ll be severly disappointed.

    Feb 8, 2013 at 7:11 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #10   Spooky

    Twenty years from now, they’ll be married, and she’ll dream of the days he cared where shoes and coats go.

    Feb 8, 2013 at 7:43 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   redheadwglasses

      Ha! This cracked me up, and I pasted it into an email to a friend with a copy of the letter.

      Feb 8, 2013 at 4:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Spooky

      Giving credit to “Spooky from PAN?” ^_^

      Seriously, glad I could make *someone* smile, because it’s been “Shit on Spooky Day.”

      Have a good weekend!

      Feb 8, 2013 at 11:01 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   nunavut guy

      It’s not you personally Spooky; it’s that damn white sheet you wear. It just begs to have someone wipe their ass on it.

      P.S Lose the moaning and all that “Woooing”,it creeps people out.

      Feb 9, 2013 at 5:57 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Spooky

      That explains so much.

      Losing the sheet, nixing the Woooing–that’ll show those Effers! Thanks, nunavut guy!

      (Actually, Spooky’s the affectionate nickname the drunk neighbor guy gave me when I was little– I think because I was so quiet, but watchful)

      Feb 9, 2013 at 10:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #11   Lynne

    oh! the birth of a hall monitor! brings me back to the days of my youth. keep going, little man!

    Feb 8, 2013 at 7:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #12   The Elf

    Let’s see… Overly confident? Check. Trashes the opponent? Check. Sanctimonious? Check. All up in everyone’s business? Check.

    This guy is Congress-bound for sure.

    Feb 8, 2013 at 9:31 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

  • #13   Kwyjor

    I like this kid. He’s pro-active.

    I remember back in grade 4, we had a “classroom library” from which people could sign out books. Only the kids managing the signing-in and signing-out were doing a lousy job, leading to many accusations of lost or overdue books that had actually been re-filed on the shelf long ago. I probably should have spoken up more and offered to take over, but there were limits even to my obnoxiousness.

    Feb 8, 2013 at 9:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #14   nunavut guy

    (Swaggering with my pants down to my knees and my underwear hanging out)” Snitches get stitches…………bitch.”

    Feb 8, 2013 at 7:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #15   havingfitz

    Oh sure, he thinks the job is so easy. Then he has to deal with Xander, who deliberately leave his boots there instead of taking them home because they’re a hideous hand-me-down from his fashion-challenged older brother, and his mother won’t replace “perfectly good boots with nothing wrong with them!” Xander doesn’t like the letter-writer constantly being up in his face about the boots, and this leads to a feud that spawns the next 4 generations of their families. You don’t want this job, kiddo. It’s not worth the pain.

    Feb 9, 2013 at 10:32 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #16   Dopey

    I read it as “chubby monitor” and almost did a spit take.

    Feb 10, 2013 at 8:01 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   jdaniel

      You are not far off the mark. Michelle may have a legion of these agents across the USA in the next few years.

      Feb 10, 2013 at 6:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   The Elf

      …….. You need to lay off the Jack Daniels, jdaniel.

      Feb 11, 2013 at 6:33 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #17   notolaf the elementary school teacher

    Very nicely constructed paragraph.

    Feb 11, 2013 at 9:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #18   Andy

    Aww, that’s so cute.

    Feb 15, 2013 at 7:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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