For a while now, our submitter in Australia says his neighbors — a couple in their mid-40s — have been complaining about his family’s “excessive noise.” It started, he says, with complaints about the sounds generated by their pool filter and their dryer.
“We accommodated by turning the filter off at night and reducing usage of the dryer,” he says, “but it escalated to them complaining about us talking inside our house with all the windows closed and the air conditioner running (during the day, mind you). Then they began coming over, literally banging on our door, complaining that the kids were being too loud while playing outside.”
David says the neighbors also started calling to complain to the real estate company from whom his family rents the house. The company’s response, below, made for a satisfying conclusion to the whole affair.
![Dear Madam, RE: HARRASSMENT [sic] OF TENANTS IN [redacted]: Further to your calls to our office to complain that the tenants of the property next door to you have been making noise, please not the following: 1) Children are allowed to play, laugh, scream, etc. during the day in their own backyard. 2) Occupants of any house are allowed to run their air conditioner whenever they see fit. 3) Noise is allowed on any property between the hours of 7am and 7pm. Should you feel the noise from the air conditioner is excessive you have the right to lodge a written complaint with the Health Dept. at the local council office so that they can come out to check the decibel level. If you continue to approach the neighbours in an annoying manner they may be forced to seek legal advice regarding harassment issues. We all have to learn to get along together and the tenants next door have tried to accommodate you, within reason, but there comes a time when enough is enough. Please do not contact us again about this issue until you have had a Council officer attend to check the noise levels. Yours sincerely, [redacted]](http://i.imgur.com/dV6Q8jM.jpg "Dear Madam, RE: HARRASSMENT [sic] OF TENANTS IN [redacted]: Further to your calls to our office to complain that the tenants of the property next door to you have been making noise, please not the following: 1) Children are allowed to play, laugh, scream, etc. during the day in their own backyard. 2) Occupants of any house are allowed to run their air conditioner whenever they see fit. 3) Noise is allowed on any property between the hours of 7am and 7pm. Should you feel the noise from the air conditioner is excessive you have the right to lodge a written complaint with the Health Dept. at the local council office so that they can come out to check the decibel level. If you continue to approach the neighbours in an annoying manner they may be forced to seek legal advice regarding harassment issues. We all have to learn to get along together and the tenants next door have tried to accommodate you, within reason, but there comes a time when enough is enough. Please do not contact us again about this issue until you have had a Council officer attend to check the noise levels. Yours sincerely, [redacted]")
related: Will you please turn down the sound of your frogs?
127 responses so far ↓
#1
Islay
Best landlords ever?
The only thing I would have added (as I often wish I could tell people that complain about noise at the hotel I work at) to this lovely letter is: Have you tried earplugs? They work. Very well.
Feb 15, 2013 at 1:12 am rating: 90
#2
Gwan
7 pm’s still pretty early for silent time to start…
Feb 15, 2013 at 4:14 am rating: 90
#3
paul
islay – people are paying to be at the hotel. so they expect to get what the paid for…..
Feb 15, 2013 at 5:15 am rating: 90
#4
Kay
Perhaps blur out the name of the town a little bit more as it’s obvious what it is.
Then again, what are the odds of three people from this state being on the Internet?
Feb 15, 2013 at 5:52 am rating: 90
#5
tch tch
That really looks like “Mandurah” under the Professionals header. If the neighbour only has noise to worry about in that city, they’re doing pretty well.
Feb 15, 2013 at 5:59 am rating: 90
#6
The Elf
Well damn. Talk about a smackdown. I love every bit of this letter. I would totally frame it.
Feb 15, 2013 at 7:09 am rating: 90
#7
Brian
Perfect response. Concise, direct, but not unprofessional.
Feb 15, 2013 at 7:22 am rating: 90
#8
Andy
That is awesome! You know it’s not in America because here the family would have been evicted or the complainer would have won a huge lawsuit against the family.
Feb 15, 2013 at 7:24 am rating: 90
#9
H for Toy
Professionals, indeed. This is awesome!
Feb 15, 2013 at 8:20 am rating: 90
#10
SeeYouInTea
I agree with everything the notewriter said. However, if those kids are outside screaming, that would be so annoying. My neighbor’s kids use to come outside and play their instruments (a tuba and a trumpet) everyday for a few hours. They would also scream at the top of their lungs for no reason at all. These same assholes broke the window on the side of our house three times!
I’m not against kids playing outside, but damn at least be considerate of the rest of the neighborhood.
Feb 15, 2013 at 8:30 am rating: 90
#11
Mary
I want to move to Australia and rent a house from these landlords!!!!
Feb 15, 2013 at 9:37 am rating: 90
#12
Joe Blow
I’m on team note-submitters, except for the kids screaming in the backyard thing. You should still be considerate of your neighbors, including things like making a bunch of noise outside to where they can hear you in their house.
Our next door neighbors, who we genuinely like, have a little yappy dog that comes out through his doggy door and barks at us constantly every single time we’re in the backyard — it gets old *really* fast. I’ve taken to spraying him with the hose whenever I’m back there by myself..
Feb 15, 2013 at 9:40 am rating: 90
#13
oi
There is a god! There is a god!
It seems like he is old though. Silence by 7 pm? Dinner must be at 4!
Feb 15, 2013 at 9:44 am rating: 90
#14
nativefloridian
This couple seems to have superhuman hearing if they can hear their neighbors talking in another house through closed windows. They should find a way to use this power for good. Or at least profit.
Feb 15, 2013 at 10:53 am rating: 90
#15
nikki
I need to find a landlord like this. In my last apartment I had a super hawkish landlord who actually made up noise complaints for me because my neighbors had kids and I think she didn’t like them. We lived in a block of townhouses with a couple of unrented homes in the middle so my neighbor’s kids would often come out in the mostly-empty front parking lot to ride their little big wheels and skate boards around. I didn’t really care because I usually worked until after dark and I keep a fan on in my room for white noise but every time I came in to pay the rent she’d pester me about whether it was bothering us, seemingly wanting me to complain. She’d always assure me she was telling them to keep it down. They moved out not long afterward… I wonder why?
Feb 15, 2013 at 11:44 am rating: 90
#16
redheadwglasses
” The company’s response, below, made for a satisfying conclusion to the whole affair.”
Um, I really don’t think this is going to be the conclusion.
Feb 15, 2013 at 11:48 am rating: 90
#17
Nope
While I agree that kids should be allowed to play and what not, there is such a thing as too much noise or overly loud playing, despite what most parents seem to think. Not every child is a perfect little angel, contrary to popular belief. I know I wasn’t when I was a kid. When you’re in a living space where it’s considered close quarters, i.e. apartment, hotel, etc., the general rule to follow is if your noise can be heard in the hallway with your doors/windows closed then it’s too loud. I don’t care if it’s 9am, 9pm, 12pm, 12am, 2pm, 2am. Noise is noise. Some people don’t like excessive noise and shouldn’t be forced to be subjected to it just because they are in the “permitted” time period. The person who doesn’t like the noise only has 2 options then, get ear plugs or drive away somewhere else until the noise is over. And maybe with ear plugs you can still hear it, then you’re left with drive away. Why should they be forced to leave their home simply because of inconsiderate neighbors? I had a neighbor in my last apartment that liked to play either electric guitar or bass on an amplifier between 5-11pm. Yes technically they weren’t in violation of noise ordinances, but it was very loud & obnoxious and vibrated my walls and gave me a headache. I’m sorry, but when you when you live in an apartment complex, you don’t get to use amplifiers. If you need to practice, that’s fine, just go somewhere else to do it. I wore headphones whenever I watched TV or played a game. I don’t think it’s too much to ask to expect others to be considerate as well.
Feb 15, 2013 at 12:13 pm rating: 90
#18
outoutout
Heh, The Professionals used to be our property managers. I wonder if it’s the same office. The lady who runs it was truly awesome, and that note sounds exactly like her. Great read. Oh, and totally Team Note Writer.
Feb 15, 2013 at 12:50 pm rating: 90
#19
Tofutefisk
People need to lighten up. Children need to play. Children have been playing for time immemorial. It is most certainly not inconsiderate for parents to let their children have a good time outdoors. People who are extremely bothered by the natural sounds of children playing need to choose where they live more carefully. The problem is not with the family. The problem lies with the people who apparently can’t tolerate normal, everyday sounds.
Feb 15, 2013 at 12:58 pm rating: 90
#20
person
I live in a home where I share one wall with my neighbor. She complains about every.little.noise. It used to stress me out until she stopped me on the sidewalk as I was coming home and dragged me inside to “investigate” this “noise” that she swore kept her up the entire night. It was a very faint clicking noise. I realized that it was the ceiling fan I have at the top of my staircase in my house.
Ever since then, I stopped taking her seriously. If you are going to complain about the sound of a CEILING FAN running, you will complain about anything.
Feb 15, 2013 at 1:10 pm rating: 90
#21
tammy
For a family vacation, my cousins (40′s-50′s) and my parents (76 & 82 yo) rented a house with a pool, on a river for vacation last year. Before the town’s noise law of 9 pm, 3 of us jumped in the pool. (44yo female, 50yo female, 76 yo female-speaking, not children screaming-no children in the house) I believe it was 830p when the neighbor opened his window to yell out, that he understood we were on vacation, but he was an important surgeon who had surgery at 6 am, and our other neighbor was a lawyer with a small child in the house) NO LIE, it was 830pm. and we know other renters were partiers because of graffiti inside the closets from post-prom renters.
We were not being obnoxious. We apologized, and went in the house.
Needless to say, we were asked by the owner not to rent with him again. LOL
Feb 15, 2013 at 1:29 pm rating: 90
#22
Captain Hampton
“Listen. What do you hear?”
“Nothing.”
“I hear everything. You wrote that the neighbors don’t break the noise ordinance, but every day I hear people talking through their windows.”
Feb 15, 2013 at 1:57 pm rating: 90
#23
Julia
I have been working at a place which fields noise complaints for two years now, and this note is seriously one thing I can get on board with.
We’d get them all.
“They’re walking upstairs!” Good for them? Are we supposed to tell them not to walk inside their own apartment?
“Kids are playing at 4PM on a Sunday!” Well yes, kids do play. This is Florida, there are 55+ communities all over the place. Please move to one.
“They’re talking outside!” God forbid.
My favorite calls are always the ones where the people are clearly having sex. Sorry you’re jealous that you aren’t getting any.
Not sure why some people can’t just let other people live their lives.
Feb 15, 2013 at 2:08 pm rating: 90
#24
Lopi
Our neighbours are a middle aged couple who should have statues made in their honour.
They have been through three babies, two toilet training dramas, three teething episodes, crazy mum screaming, angry dad shouting at the kids, loud ethnic parties (ours), electric pruner happy handyman, various DIY projects, fighting little brothers and oh so much more. All through a common wall. And when I apologise for all the noise, they say, “Oohhhh, that’s all right, you’ve got kids.”
Feb 15, 2013 at 3:32 pm rating: 90
#25
dq
I’m on the side of the complainer. There’s nothing worse than that high-pitched scream of children. I had an amazing terrace in Barcelona once but I could never enjoy it because a family with screaming children thought they had more rights than the 200-odd other households who lived in the surrounding apartments. Why should we have to wear ear plugs to sit on our terraces reading a book? Get throat plugs for the little screaming bastards.
Feb 15, 2013 at 3:51 pm rating: 90
#26
mouse
Best landlords! If you can’t handle the sounds of kids playing, you should move to a community with no kids or buy some earplugs. The world doesn’t stop and start at your convenience, DONNY.
Feb 15, 2013 at 4:09 pm rating: 90
#27
PA Noter
All the other complaints are nonsense but the screaming kids, it can get excessive. Reasonable is one thing, bloody murder, not so much.
There was a boy on my block that used to scream at the top of his lungs at the bus stop(behind my fence line) for no apparent reason. This was during a time when there were news reports about a guy locally trying to abduct kids on their way to school.
The first time he did it, I woke up and bolted outside because it sounded like he was being kidnapped. I go outside and the kids are fine. This happened on/off over the course of three weeks. One day I happen to be leaving for an early meeting across town and he does it again. I pulled up to the bus stop and told him and his brother to stop screaming every morning because people would think he was getting hurt. The very next day he did it again. This time I walked up to both of them and told them “Look, stop the screaming everyday or I am telling your mom and dad that you have been asked to stop and won’t. I am giving you a chance to fix this yourself so your parents do not have to know. Also, from now on I am gonna assume you are being kidnapped and will call the police. Have you heard of the story about the boy who cried wolf? Do we understand each other? ”
The nodded and looked down at their feet in shame.
But, they have not screamed since.
When I was a kid, my neighbors corrected my bad behavior just like my parents did. If you do that today-watch out! You might get shot. LOL
Feb 15, 2013 at 4:51 pm rating: 90
#28
Zhopka
Can I just make a totally unpopular comment about A/C units? That’s okay, I can take your rotten tomatoes. The thing is, everyone here dismissed them as absolutely normal, but has anyone ever heard those ancient primordial units that some houses still operate on?
Our neighbors in DC have one. They run it ALL THE TIME. They run it in winter, they run it in lovely springtime, when we open our windows to get the spring air. They run it in the early and mid-fall. 60, 50, 40 degrees outside, they run it. I understand the earplug argument, but have you ever tried wearing earplugs 24/7? That hurts your ears by about 8th-9th hour, plus, you’re fairly disabled in your own house, and slightly off-balance because ears are linked to our sense of balance.
I’ve thought of paying for them to upgrade their unit, since I don’t feel I can just demand it, but I simply can’t afford it. So we’re stuck listening to old metal screech. Every day. Every night. All yeaarrrr looong. Hell, I’ll take screaming kids over this anytime.
Feb 15, 2013 at 6:57 pm rating: 90
#29
nurgleth
The people complaining about noisy kids outside are the same people complaining about “kids these days” that are watching too much tv and playing too many video games and spending too much time on the pc.
Also it’s interesting how everyone seems to accept that the submitters were trying to be reasonable with their noise level, but think that they for some reason would have overlooked kids screeching for hours.
Feb 15, 2013 at 7:13 pm rating: 90
#30
Jeanine
When we moved into our new house when I was a child our neighbor called to threaten police action because my brothers were playing on their grape arbor as they spoke.
Only problem is my brothers were 2 and a newborn at the time. All the idiot knew was that their new neighbors had kids and they didn’t like it.
Feb 15, 2013 at 10:09 pm rating: 90
#31
Jessi
When I was a teenager, we had these two elderly neighbors who constantly called the cops on us because of noise disturbances. Their main complaint was that my brother practicing the various instruments he plays made it so loud that they couldn’t hear themselves think. Well, while it was true that you could he my brother practicing his drums if you were standing under the second story window of his semi-soundproofed music room, it was rarely loud enough to get into “noise disturbance” territory.
The couple would literally stand directly under that window (on our property) with a decibel monitor, and the instant his drum playing went temporarily over the legal limit (by “temporarily” I mean for a second or two), they would call the cops. When the cops stopped by, the couple made sure they were wearing oxygen masks and using walkers even though both were avid gardeners who we’d seen going up and down ladders (to prune their own trees) and carrying bags of manure.
My brother never played his drums longer than an hour, and only in the middle of the day/early afternoon. One of the complaints was at 2:30 pm on a Saturday. Finally, one of the cops explained to the couple that it didn’t count as a noise disturbance if the loud noise only lasted a second or two – it had to be maintained for several minutes and it had to be that loud inside their home. He also explained that complaining about a teenage kid playing music will likely lead to that kid moving on to other activities. And probably much more unsavory.
Team notewriter
Feb 16, 2013 at 1:29 am rating: 90
#32
Your Real Neighbor
If you have kids and youre forced to pay rent for housing, of two things you can be certain:
You have made tremendously bad decisions in your life.
~and~
You’re inflicting them on your neighbors.
The sound of children laughing for more than a few minutes is an abomination to anyone but their own parents. It is not some lyrical ode to innocence. It is a grating, clawed molestation against the only peace the rest of us might know in a life defined largely by the absence thereof.
Oh is it not illegal? Bully for you. Neither is Satanism. But when you have to put in a double shift and work until 4am because there is literally no way to cover the rent and bills without the extra income and the neighbors crotchfruit decide that backyard adventure experience begins promptly at sunrise, thoughts turn to retribution, it is mathematically inevitable.
And to all the gasping soccer moms about to vomit their outraged mediocrity onto the screen in response to this; fuck yourselves off the nearest cliff.
Regards.
Feb 16, 2013 at 7:03 am rating: 90
#33
Kim
If you have issues with the sounds of kids playing, you should move to a retirement community that doesn’t allow children.
However, parents should keep the loud crazy shrieking screams to a minimum. I remember my mother and father correcting us for too much screaming when we were in the backyard playing.
But these neighbors sound like nutjobs.
Feb 16, 2013 at 8:05 am rating: 90
#34
havingfitz
I’m not without some sympathy. I’ve had severe misophonia most of my life. The sound of someone clipping their fingernails, for example, has reduced me to tears. However, I also understand that the real world? Doesn’t know or particularly care. I wear earplugs constantly and try and avoid my ‘triggers’. Society isn’t going to suddenly become silent just for me (although it would certainly be very sweet of it.)
Feb 16, 2013 at 10:57 am rating: 90
#35
Squishibits
Also, try blocking the registered company name in the footer. Google leads straight to the agent….
Feb 17, 2013 at 4:11 am rating: 90
#36
Poltergeist
Mastering the art of tolerance makes life more manageable for everybody.
Feb 17, 2013 at 4:18 am rating: 90
#37
JamiSings
1: I bet the kids aren’t that loud at all. The neighbors sound as insane as the wind chime hater.
2: No place is perfectly quiet, but I’ll take a pool filter and noisy kids over the drunks who walk down the street at 2 am when the bars close, the sound of the clubs from before then (I’m on the 2nd floor of our house so I can actually hear the nightclubs from three blocks away, yes, they are that loud and the streets are that quiet), the screaming matches between the husband and wife across the street after she has, once again, gone next door into the house of the young fire fighter in nothing but her nightgown (looks like he finally kicked her out though), etc and so forth.
3: I wish Rufus Sewell with his deeply soul staring eyes was one of my neighbors.
4: And I wish Barry Manilow was my other neighbor.
5: And that Stan Lee lived across the street.
Feb 17, 2013 at 11:03 am rating: 90
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