Now that Girl Scout cookie season has ended — here in Texas, anyway — shit’s starting to get real.
related: Killer cookie dough
I know who’s not getting a merit badge for sharing…
February 27th, 2013 · 84 comments
FILED UNDER: die bitch die · food · heart · sharing is caring
84 responses so far ↓
#1
me
I would be tempted to take one of each to see how genuine the writer’s audit was.
Feb 27, 2013 at 2:47 pm rating: 49
#2
metoo
i would crush them all then ask for a crumb count
Feb 27, 2013 at 2:48 pm rating: 43
#3
spoko
I’d have to attach a note saying, “Yeah, but do you know which ones I peed on?”
Feb 27, 2013 at 2:53 pm rating: 56
#4
Tesstarosa
It says as much about those around this person as it does the person who wrote the note. (I bet his/her roommates steal lunches from the work frig, too.)
Feb 27, 2013 at 2:58 pm rating: 11
#5
greg house md
Lol, I would have licked them, but I guess peeing works too…
Feb 27, 2013 at 2:58 pm rating: 9
#6
BLA
Step 1: Remove all cookies from boxes and return the empty boxes to the shelf.
Step 2: Leave the following note: “POP QUIZ! Correctly answer how many cookies were in each box and they will be safely returned.”
Step 3: Try not to eat all of the cookies while waiting for your coworker to follow-up.
Feb 27, 2013 at 2:59 pm rating: 90
#7
Nikki
You straight up do not F*** with a person’s supply of short-supply, insanely expensive cookies.
That said, she probably knows exactly how many Tagalongs she has (there’s only like 15 in a box, those little conniving…) Thin Mints are harder to track. If you must eat one… those are your best bet for survival.
Feb 27, 2013 at 3:09 pm rating: 69
#8
Monster's Mom
I used to mark my liquor bottles and that ratted out my thievin’ roomies every time. One dummy tried pouring some water back into the bottle but poured too much–so when the amount of bourbon was higher than the night before…
I’m just saying I understand the message. Girl Scout cookies aren’t available year-round.
Feb 27, 2013 at 3:13 pm rating: 24
#9
Fridge Pirate
The cookies were fucking delicious
Feb 27, 2013 at 3:14 pm rating: 14
#10
pooham
If that note was left by me the answer for each box would be zero. I’m very dangerous around Girl Scout cookies.
Feb 27, 2013 at 4:15 pm rating: 4
#11
JN
Take them all, and leave a note saying “At least I’ll die happy.”
Feb 27, 2013 at 4:46 pm rating: 24
#12
Charlie
Left to right: Bisquick, Mac & Cheese, four boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.
My type of pantry.
Feb 27, 2013 at 5:20 pm rating: 13
#13
I'm the cookie thief
I would be tempted to
1: remove all cookies
2: buy the knock offs at Walmart
3: replace empty slots with said knock offs BUTT of course put in the wrong boxes and mix them all up
4: put note reading “oops they all fell on floor when I thought I heard you coming to kill me. Did best not to put them back in order. The on that didn’t fall was delicious so thank you”
4: lock the original GS cookies in my safe and ration them out over the year!
Feb 27, 2013 at 5:20 pm rating: 10
#14
Rm545
I have done that in the past before, not for my cookies (because I hide them in my room) but for the cookies or brownies I bake because in HS my brother and his friends would steal them and were jerks about it. It really pissed me off if I had baked them for a specific purpose, like to give as a gift or something.
Feb 27, 2013 at 6:33 pm rating: 4
#15
Divawriter
Why would someone die from eating what’s in these boxes? Did someone lace the cookies with arsenic? And how can you die and still have a great day?
Feb 27, 2013 at 6:41 pm rating: 6
#16
Gwan
These are one of those American things I’d love to try. Girl Guide biscuits in New Zealand are horrible flavourless things that (in my experience) get bought out of obligation and rarely eaten.
Feb 27, 2013 at 6:47 pm rating: 5
#17
jonesy
These things have gotten crazy expensive. Back when I sold them (twenty years back) they were $2.50 per box.
Feb 27, 2013 at 7:17 pm rating: 4
#18
courtney
I’m not sure this one belongs here. Murder is *a bit* of an overreaction but we are talking about Girl Scout cookies….
Feb 27, 2013 at 8:35 pm rating: 3
#19
H
They already ate all of the best ones, the Samoas.
Feb 27, 2013 at 9:13 pm rating: 4
#20
Garrrrr
Why would you put the cookies out in a place where they might be taken? If I had cookies that I did not want to share; they would be in my bedroom, desk, bag….
Yes I used a lot of punctuation. Big whoop wanna fight about it?
Feb 28, 2013 at 12:07 am rating: 10
#21
Anne
WHHHHHY leave them in a shared/public area?????
Feb 28, 2013 at 5:58 am rating: 6
#22
Pam
As a Girl Scout Leader I believe it is up to the Troop to decide how many boxes of cookies they want to sell. If the Girls have a goal to raise money for a trip or activity, then the Leader should be pushing them to sell, sell, sell. If the Troop does not have a goal, then sales should be more casual. Booth sales are not just about selling cookies. As the girls get older they are part of the selling process. The keep track of how many cookies were sold at which location previous years and help decide how many the Troop orders. If you do not sell what you order, you still have to pay council for for the cookies. Here in the Dayton, OH area we only get about 55 cents a box. For every box of cookies left we still have to pay council $2.95. If the girls understand the process, the will learn concepts like planning, purchasing, debt, profit, goal setting, marketing etc. Not least of which is teaching the girls the responsibility of following through with the decisions they made even if they have to give up a birthday party or are tired. Selling cookies for 3 hours at a time is not always fun. Especially after the 1st couple of times. Of course, it is up to the leaders to guide the girls in this direction. Girl Scouts is not just a social group. It is about teaching girls to empower themselves, building character and giving the girls confidence so that when they want to do something when they are older…they will have the courage to do it and the confidence to know they can achieve what they set their minds too. This goes for all girls whether they want to be a stay at home mom or president. Just my thoughts.
Feb 28, 2013 at 8:06 am rating: 9
#23
redheadwglasses
Since they don’t need to be refrigerated, I think I’d be more inclined to keep the boxes in my bedroom (or in a drawer at work, if this is at work).
Feb 28, 2013 at 11:42 am rating: 1
#24
Brian
Sorry Pam, I’m not buying it.
It’s a money grab, and a very successful one at that. I don’t begrudge the Scouts their fundraising, but don’t try to shine it up real nice and make me think it’s anything else.
I’ve taken part in far too many fundraiser to think it’s about empowerment. It’s about parents bringing signup sheets to the office to use social pressure to coerce coworkers.
(As a diabetic, I simply can’t have GS Cookies in my house. I know I’ll go through them a box at a time, and every year I’m the office pariah for not taking part.)
Feb 28, 2013 at 1:45 pm rating: 15
#25
KarateLady
They do learn some skills, but it bugs me that council gets waaay more money than my kid or the frickin’ baker. And then they spend it on things like a logo redesign or gussyin’ up the camps – my cabin didn’t have AC or paint or cutesy designs like a Fishing Village. Good Grief. I’d rather we do car washes or dog washes or something else. 49 boxes in 2 hrs, in cold weather, split 3 ways (3 Scouts) & my kid gets $10 for her trip account? If she was old enough, she’d make more at McD’s or by baby sitting.
Mar 1, 2013 at 6:38 am rating: 6
#26
Cinerdy
There are 2 different GS cookie bakeries–one calls the cookies Tagalongs, Samoas, trefoils, do si dos, etc and the other calls them pb patties, Carmel delights, shortbreads, pb sandwiches etc. it’s not regional–I’m in Texas and we have one baker this year and are switching to the other next year, so it’s some random division.
Cookies are $4/box and the troop keeps 40 cents, but there are all kinds of bonuses if you don’t have any returns, etc.
Guess who got sucked into being cookie organizer this year, by the way? Ugh.
As to the note, yes, it’s pretty jerky. Why leave them in plain sight if theft is such a problem? I mean, it’s carpet to steal but writing a note like that seems like she is just encouraging people.
Mar 4, 2013 at 8:58 pm rating: 0
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