You’ve (still) got mail!

March 6th, 2013 · 55 comments

We’ve received another report from our Back Bay informant, and it seems the stalemate with the tenant in 2D continues!

2d: The extreme pressure on the glue on the postal envelopes & fliers in your densely packed mailbox has reached .017421 isobars, which, in a few days, if not relieved by EMPTYING the box, will result in a horrible BRACKRAKATOA explosion here in the Bay, enough so that even the legions of beggars on Boylston  & Dartmouth streets will have to evacuate, so please empty the box. Thank you. Sincerely, Stephen Hawing. United States Postal Scientist, USPS. P.S. and If you could empty the box every month or so it would be appreciated.

related: You’ve got mail!

FILED UNDER: Boston · going postal · public shaming · smartass

55 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Molly Musaka

    So…anybody checking to be sure 2D is still alive?

    Mar 6, 2013 at 4:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Sir Puke

      They could be in the hospital or worse.

      Mar 6, 2013 at 5:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Rama

      Yeah…I am kind of concerned.

      Maybe go knock or talk to the super to let them know that the mail hasn’t been picked up in ages and ages.

      It kind of makes me feel sick to think that there could be some little old lady laying up there dead and the mailman is leaving “HIGHLARIOUS” notes instead of raising a red flag.

      Mar 6, 2013 at 8:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Winkie

      Eh, a full mail box is indicative of nothing. The recipient could just be like me, a super lazy ass with an inconveniently placed mailbox, who never remembers to check the mail because all the important things come via internet. I never even think about my mail box because I’m not interested in slogging through a compressed brick of coupon booklets, sales fliers, and offer after offer for insurance coverage or a new credit card.

      Mar 11, 2013 at 7:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   SeeYouInTea

    I actually like the mailman’s note this time. Nice Hawking and Krakatoa references.

    Mar 6, 2013 at 4:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   The Elf

      Yes!!! I’m team post office for no other reason that having made relatively obscure references in a PAN.

      If you’re going to leave mocking missives, at least make ‘em think.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 11:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Tesselara

      This just makes me want to wait and witness the ensuing explosion. Team Science Experiment!

      Mar 7, 2013 at 12:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   H for Toy

    2D is actually where Chelsea used to live, but she moved, taking her bed, her power drill, and (quietly) leaving behind several months’ worth of mail.

    Mar 6, 2013 at 4:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   AMoparGirl


      Mar 6, 2013 at 5:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   JK

      And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how to do a PAN callback. ;)

      Mar 10, 2013 at 8:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Tard

    That’s a funny note for sure, I’d be giving that mailman/woman a nice restaurant gift certificate for Christmas (using the notes to gift-wrap the box!).

    Oh and yeah, uh, HAS anyone done a welfare check on the residents of 2D? Really.

    Mar 6, 2013 at 4:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Travis

    Aren’t mail carriers just supposed to stop delivering to full and otherwise inaccessible mailboxes, leaving a note that the mail is being held or returned to sender, as the case may be?

    Mar 6, 2013 at 5:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Ruby Shoes

      They do have the option to simply stop delivering and hold the mail at the post office. They cannot legally return mail to sender or sort it.

      I think maybe Mr. Postman should check on the resident, however.

      Mar 6, 2013 at 5:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Scott C

      If it’s anything like my apartments, the postman may have access to the mailboxes in the lobby, but not to actually go further into the building. And with the kind of tight schedule postal delivery routes often involve, I’m not surprised he’s not taking time to launch an independent investigation… although that argument is diminished by the time taken to write notes, I suppose.

      Mar 6, 2013 at 5:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   H for Toy

      Really though, it’s not like everybody else in the building doesn’t also know about this. If none of them have checked on the resident of 2D, it most likely just a laziness issue. Or they’re all heartless bastards who want to see what the mailman does next.

      Mar 6, 2013 at 6:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   Nunavut Guy

      Tight schedule? Almost every postman I knew in Toronto bragged about being in the bar by 1:00.4 hours before the shift ended.Some even made a competition out of it to see who could finish their route and make first call.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 7:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.5   JollyWho

      Must be nice for Toronto, but many mail carriers here in the US are on awful, demanding and long schedules. I have three mailmen in my own family and two friends in three different states. They all put in 10+ hour days and god forbid you have businesses on your route that need mail in and out at an exact time. It can be very stressful.

      It pays pretty well once you’ve been there for a while, but rookies make very little. The people I know enjoy their recipients and the constant exercise but it still anything than leisurely.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 8:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.6   Elvisgirl

      Nunavut Guy – finally! an explanation of why Canada Post takes 4 weeks to deliver a letter!

      Mar 7, 2013 at 12:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Dantebenuto

    This postal dude went from Snarkmaster Flash to Funny Ass Postal guy in .0537 ^15th power nanoseconds (that’s nS, for the uninitiated). Now, if I was in 2D, I’d leave the box full just so I could a) see what he says next and b) prove his Theory of Mailbox Burstability false!

    Mar 6, 2013 at 6:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Ashes

    I wish my mailbox was this large! Mine gets filled within two weeks, and I get all of my bills online O_o
    Freaking tiny, useless mailboxes in this building!

    Mar 6, 2013 at 6:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Smokey

    Dear tenants,
    Please stop knocking on my door.


    Mar 6, 2013 at 7:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   f2point8

    Oh, I do wish to have this address, just to make a contribution.

    Mar 6, 2013 at 8:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   H for Toy

      Dear submitter,

      Please let us know the address, so we can all send a little thank you note.

      Mar 6, 2013 at 9:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Nony

    I want to be a United States Postal Scientist when I grow up.

    Mar 6, 2013 at 8:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Ann

    I’ve kind of been “this guy,” getting my mail like once a month. I’m a little better about it now. Fortunately, it never escalated to this level.

    Mar 6, 2013 at 9:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Nami

    I’m curious to check out where this place is since I live in Boston and want to make sure the resident is alive…

    Mar 6, 2013 at 9:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Seanette

      If you can find out, please let the rest of us know?

      Mar 7, 2013 at 2:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    Plan to save the USPS:
    Stop hiring scientists.

    Mar 7, 2013 at 12:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   The Elf

      Stephen Hawking probably collects quite the salary! I bet if we replace him with someone who doesn’t have a PhD in physics and an international reputation for genius, we could continue with Saturday delivery.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 11:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    I’m sorry, but what’s so wrong with a box well-stuffed? :-P

    Mar 7, 2013 at 12:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   The Elf

      Nothing, except at some point you’ll want to un-stuff it so that you can stuff it again.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 11:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    I’m not so sure of the Backrakatoa Theory.
    I think it’s best we wait for peer review by the Theoretical Postal Science community at-large.

    Mar 7, 2013 at 12:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   spoko bang

    I have to call bullshit on the entire storyline. We used to leave mail in our box all the time, and when our carrier wanted to be a jerk about it, he simply followed protocol: Took it all back to the PO, and left us a little pink card indicating that anything we didn’t pick up within 5 days would be returned as undeliverable. Easy peasy, and plenty PA. I don’t believe for a second that any postal carrier would waste time writing notes like this, especially when doing so would probably be grounds for dismissal from the USPS.

    Mar 7, 2013 at 12:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Canthz_B bang

      Unless she/he happens to have a particularly passive-aggressive personality.

      But we all know THAT never happens. ;-)

      We’re talking about people with a propensity to literally “go postal”, and you’re looking for rational behavior?


      Mar 7, 2013 at 12:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   christina

      someone doesn’t live in boston or deal with a typical bostonian on a daily basis. This is normal here.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 12:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   Nami

      I agree with Christina- I work in customer service in Boston and this is very typical behavior from Bostonions. Plus they love sarcasm-sometimes it’s funny and other times it can be annoying.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 8:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   pooham

      Bostonions. Love it!

      Mar 7, 2013 at 10:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    Eat your heart out, Stephen. Lou Gehrig played for the NY Yankees with ALS, and you’ve got a gig bitching for the post office!

    Mar 7, 2013 at 12:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   FeRD bang

    Man, few things have made me as nostalgic for my 3.5 years living in Boston as this note series has. :-D

    Mar 7, 2013 at 5:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   JamiSings bang

    For our own peace of mind to make sure 2D is alright, I think the submitter needs to check on them. While the notes are funny, it would be sad if it turned out they had died and had been rotting in their apartment this whole time.

    Mar 7, 2013 at 9:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   H for Toy

      We’re all curious, and worried, because we don’t have a back story about whether this is something that has been going on for years, and the mailman has tried other avenues, or if this is the first time, and he’s just snarky. I just keep thinking surely someone would check on 2D before going about leaving or submitting notes!

      Mar 7, 2013 at 10:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   SilentPsycho

      H for Toy, that involves people actually thinking.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 10:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.3   H for Toy

      *sigh* it’s true.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 10:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.4   redheadwglasses

      If the resident is already dead, there’s nothing to worry about.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 12:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.5   Ruby Shoes

      Haven’t there been stories about postmen (or women, I suppose) checking on residents and finding that someone has been in distress or worse?

      Mar 7, 2013 at 1:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Captain Hampton

    I’m no postal scientist, but it seems that, based on the crux of the situation, leaving a note on the mailbox may not be the best way to communicate with the resident(s) of apartment 2D.

    Mar 7, 2013 at 10:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   yolanda

    If this was going on in the lobby of the building, from the point of the first note some busybody, like me if I lived there, or the next nosy person with too thin a life, would surely have knocked on 2D by now to verify it’s tenancy. If 2D never shows signs of life but the rent is paid and nobody’s ever told the caretaker/manager they’re away then maybe there’s an issue. That would be the point you’d ask the caretaker/manager person with the keys to look into it. They’ve a right to inspect the place if they give 24 hours notice and that would solve the matter. (bet there’s even more mail under the door?)

    Mar 7, 2013 at 10:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   MUHAHAHA

    I haven’t checked my mailbox in over a year. I did look for a way to cancel mail service entirely since I don’t use it, but as there was only temp holds that I’d have to keep renewing every month – I just stopped getting it.

    Mar 7, 2013 at 12:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Jetboy

      The only way to do that is to move and don’t leave a forwarding address.

      Mar 7, 2013 at 4:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Eileen

    I have it! The residents of 2D lost their mailbox key at some point and were reluctant to tell the management, because there’s a hefty charge to replace said key. So now they’re waiting for a big tax refund to come in (they really are late this year, aren’t they?) before they can pay to replace the key and thus pick up their mail.
    The irony is that the very refund check 2D is waiting for is locked in the box that they can’t open. So basically, they’re screwed.

    Mar 7, 2013 at 12:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   SS

    If 2D really is away on vacation, thanks a lot to the postal carrier for advertising this to anyone looking for a good break-in opportunity.

    Mar 8, 2013 at 7:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   Ashes

    Dear submitter: Please check on 2d. The community here at passive agressice notes is concerned!

    Mar 8, 2013 at 8:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   kbee

      Agreed. While I find the notes amusing, I am concerned since this is cropping up a second time in a short amount of time. Any indication that someone’s inquired into the state of 2D would put us cruel, heartless PAN people at ease would be great.

      I am just hoping 2D is an a-hole with a vendetta against their postie or out of town, and not in distress or worse.

      Mar 9, 2013 at 11:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   Megan

    If 2D hasn’t checked all that mail in whatever amount of time its been , what makes the mail man think they will read the note?

    Mar 18, 2013 at 1:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


Comments are Closed