Tired (and now sexually frustrated)

March 18th, 2013 · 92 comments

Jessica in Portland, Oregon was on her way home when she saw this note taped to her neighbors’ door. “I’m best friends with the guys this was addressed to,” she says, “and they actually are very loud when they get down to business. It doesn’t usually bother me because I work night shifts, but obviously it is wearing down the woman downstairs.”

Dear guys from 3D! :) I am the always dreaded downstairs neighbor. As much as I'm happy that you boys have a flourishing relationship...wait...that sounds stalkerish. I meant, I can only assume you have a flourishing relationship due to the fact that you shag. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Now I'm not saying to because you're a gay couple. I wouldn't care if you were flying, purple unicorn dinosaurs. In fact, I'm a huge gay rights supporter. But seriously, EVERY NIGHT?! It's awesome you have a healthy sex life but I don't want to hear it. I'm tired at the end of the night/day (I work irregular hours, you see) & being woken up by or coming home to what seems to be a torture session by the screaming and begging, is not my idea of refreshing. Don't stop by any means, but please quiet down, please? Besides that, you are delightful upstairs neighbors and seem awesome if your music is anything to go by! :) Sincerely - Tired (and now sexually frustrated)

(The “happy ending”: Jessica says her friends sent a note back saying they would try to be more considerate.)

related: WE CAN SEE YOU

FILED UNDER: most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · painfully polite · Portland · sex sex sex · smiley


92 responses so far ↓

  • #1   kazari

    Team note-writer. Because I live in a downstairs unit and once had an upstairs neighbor (19 y/o college student) who had sex ALL THE TIME. Which was fine, because for the most part we found it amusing and didn’t begrudge her enjoying the hell out of her early adulthood.

    And then one night, she had sex six times in a row. Headboard banging, screaming, yelling, moaning sex, with maybe a 30-min to 1 hour break in between. We admired her (and her partner’s) stamina and were jealous of her partner’s apparent skill, but by 3am I was done. I banged on the ceiling and bellowed, “We can hear you, you know!”

    Giggles from above, then blessed silence.

    Fortunately she didn’t repeat the marathon after that, because we had to meet her face to face a couple day later to address an issue with the cable…and man, that was awkward.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 1:13 am   rating: 95  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   AP

      I had a neighbor in college who’d go at it 3x a night. One night it was 3 am, 6 am, and 7 am.

      Our beds shared a wall, so thrusting on her end was an earthquake on mine. SO WRONG.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 10:37 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   FeRD bang

      Honestly, though, kazari — I really think the best way to address this sort of thing is exactly the way you did it. Immediately, directly, and with the absolute minimum of drama, or tedious tapdancing around the issue.

      There’s no way that you can indicate to a (relative) stranger that you’re an unwilling spectator to their sex life and then have things not be awkward afterwards… which is why you want to find a way to deliver the message so it’s like pulling off band-aid. Just get it out there, everybody deal with it, and move on.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 12:52 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   The Elf

      FeRD! If people we did that, we wouldn’t have this website! Now, shut it!

      What they need to do is put it in an email, not specify who it is about (“some people”), and cc the whole building. Also, there needs to be more of an implied threat in here, and some XOXOs at the bottom.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 3:14 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   H for Toy

      Even better if you “some people” on Facebook. Bonus points if the person in question is not actually a Facebook friend.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 4:39 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   juju_skittles

      …and for goodness sake, type the note in Comic Sans and centre it!

      Mar 18, 2013 at 10:55 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Straightline bang

    Call me old-fashioned, but I am not in favor of unicorn-dinosaur relations.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 2:32 am   rating: 114  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   The Elf

      Don’t knock it ’till you’ve tried it.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 11:01 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Rob H.

      God damned fantasy-speciesist.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 12:55 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   notolaf

      But they’re PURPLE!

      Mar 26, 2013 at 4:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   kathlynn

    Team note writer. thin walls suck when people start doing noisy things we don’t wanna hear.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 2:48 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   kermit

      New rule: if you want to have loud sex, you have to invite everybody within hearing distance of it. And they get to interject and criticize your performance for its entertainment value, gymnastics manoeuvres, and melodious ululating. As with all Olympics judges, the Russians and the Germans will be tough to please.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 9:16 am   rating: 97  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   The Elf

      With a .5 penalty for the dismount!

      Mar 18, 2013 at 11:07 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   RASG

      @kermit thats what i once said to a very loud group of girls on a bus. i started to stare and pay attention to their talk; they suddenly stopped and asked why i was doing that. “what? i thought i was supposed join the conversation! because its certainly not private”.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 11:18 am   rating: 73  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   kermit

      And a -5 for the aesthetically displeasing costumes. Also waay too much rythm-less jiggling. You might as well start over again from the beginning!

      Mar 18, 2013 at 12:57 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Gwan

    Americans say shag in a non-Austin Powers context?

    Also, maybe I’m just being curmudgeonly, but I would be a bit annoyed if someone felt the need to go out of their way to be all “oh but I love the gays” under the circumstances. Can’t you just treat them like any other couple? Or if you feel the need to be clear it’s not just gay sex you’re not into overhearing, at least stop before the “I’m a huge gay rights supporter” line?

    Mar 18, 2013 at 4:12 am   rating: 59  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Jessi

      It’s Portland, Oregon. They say “shag” because they think it makes them cool, and they love pointing out how accepting they supposedly are every chance they get.*

      I say this as a Jessica in the Portland area, but not the Jessica mentioned in the post.

      *I was born and raised in Texas and the most sexist/racist/close-minded people I’ve ever met are from the Portland area.

      Okay, rant done. Feel free bash me now, internet.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 4:56 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   redheadwglasses

      Gawn, ITA. FOr her to play the “but I love THe Gays” card was condescending and patronizing.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 8:40 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Who passed out the Haterade?

      I was born and raised in Texas and the most sexist/racist/close-minded people I’ve ever met are from the Portland area.

      Okay, rant done. Feel free bash me now, internet.

      No bashing, but I am curious… who were the objects of the closed-mindedness and ism-iness?

      Mar 18, 2013 at 9:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Jami

      Well, to be fair there’s people who miss read everything as homophobia/racism/whateverism. Look at what happened to John Lovitz when he criticized something Obama said. People started sending him hate mail saying he was racist and a Nazi. And the dude even admitted he voted for Obama, he just didn’t agree with him on this one subject.

      Yes, in the end it makes you look worse when you say it. But let’s face it, the general public now a days makes you feel you have to save it in order to not get death threats or punched in the face.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 12:29 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Liz

      @Jessi
      No bashing intended in this comment, it sounds like you grew up in a nice town. Maybe I’ve just lived in really bad places (I’ve moved around a lot), but Portland was one of the towns I saw less of that stuff in. So I’m curious about the close-minded folks too. I know there are nasty people everywhere, but just wanting to know what kind of -isms to be on guard for.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 10:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Rene

      Jessi & I are opposites. I’m from Portland & live in Texas. But I think the most sexist/racist/close-minded people I’ve ever met are from Texas. Her & I have dealt with this in the past. HOWEVER!! I do agree that Portlanders say “shag” and other nifty shit like that to be cool. Eh, just say “fucking”.

      Mar 19, 2013 at 9:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Raichu

      I would agree with you in a lot of circumstances, Gwan, but I can see why she included it in this note. Saying “You’re being loud and it’s gross/unpleasant” does unfortunately leave room for the interpretation that the reason it’s gross/unpleasant is the “ew no gay sex!!!11″ bit.

      Mar 20, 2013 at 8:51 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Malli

    SINGIE? She couldn’t have capitalized that damn L? Am I alone in hating when people do that?

    Fine. I like being alone. It’s cool.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 6:50 am   rating: 50  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   nunavut guy

      Maybe “SINGIE” is a hip Portland way of saying that she is of Senegalese descent.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 7:15 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   kermit

      I hate it when people do that too, Malli. iT iS prObaBly the sYmpTom Of A mEntaL dEficIencY.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 9:11 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Raichu

      I didn’t even notice that. It’s probably because I write that way myself…whoops

      Mar 20, 2013 at 8:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   kbee

    While I felt that the “I’m not anti-gay!” thing was a bit much, I’m with the writer. I’ve suffered through crazy, wall-pounding monkey sex on the other side of a shared wall, and I had to plug in my laptop and watch a movie to drown it out. Thankfully that was only for a night. I couldn’t handle constant sexcapades.

    Reminds me of another time when I shared an apartment with a friend. Our building doubled as apartments for long-term residents and a hotel for guests. One night some people were having some crazy mad sex on our floor a few doors down. We sat for quite a while listening, hoping they’d finish and be done with it. Finally – us being jerk 19 year old college students – we leaned against our door (didn’t open, wasn’t necessary) and began to moan and yowl like a pair of cats in heat.

    Our temporary new neighbors instantly shut up. No note needed!

    Mar 18, 2013 at 7:56 am   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Beatrice

      I had (thank goodness I can say HAD) a neighbour like that. The very minimal noise from my laptop or completely appropriate level of talking at night (anything past 8pm. How dare I talk to my husband in my own home after 8pm!) was too much for her to handle. There was constant banging and screaming for us to “shut up”. Apparently her fairly often all-night/day “love-making” (can Satan make love, though?) screaming sessions were exempt from the no noise after 8pm rule she made. Either she was faking it to please her boyfriend, or he was the greatest lover the world has ever seen. Even very fake porn doesn’t have that much screaming. I think it made my husband feel in adequate!

      On her sex-free nights, she had to be in bed at 8pm to get up for work at 7am and needed absolute silence (she was around 27-29, not an old woman). Good thing she lived in a city centre. She should have relocated to the country for the type of silence she required. However, in the country, she’d probably have murdered a sheep for baahing too loudly, disturbing her beauty rest.

      If she’d have been even a remotely nice person, I’d say, “You go, girl. Get you some!”, but she was Satan. I actually did a similar thing to the above poster, when I repeated quite loudly something she said to her boyfriend. I think it was “Oh yeah, spank me harder you dirty boy.” I got a loud “F*** off” in return, but that woman put me through hell and deserved it. That was after two years of her rude banging and screaming at us, while we just shut up and stayed silent to appease her and not start a war, so I think it was totally in line.

      Somewhere, Satan is now making someone else’s life hell… I’m sure of it…

      Mar 18, 2013 at 8:58 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Lil'

      I would think with all the mind-blowing sex she was having that she would have been in a better mood.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 12:53 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Jami

      Maybe she was faking it and that’s why she was in such a bad mood.

      Mar 19, 2013 at 12:05 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Beatrice

      Jami, that was what I was thinking!!

      Being a long-time married woman, I asked my girlfriends if anyone actually had sex that was so good they yelled at the volumes she did, and they assured me she was exaggerating. My friend pointed out that her “rampant rabbit” (AKA her boyfriend, the world’s best vibrator, as she put it) didn’t even satisfy her to that point.

      Mar 19, 2013 at 6:35 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Raichu

      Beatrice, 8PM for a 7AM job? Really? That’s 11 hours of sleep. NOBODY needs that much sleep.

      I’m so glad I’m a heavy sleeper. And that our apartments have really thick walls. I don’t know if my neighbors have sex but I’ve never heard it.

      Mar 20, 2013 at 8:59 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Raichu

      *7AM wakeup, not 7AM job. For some reason it won’t let me edit…

      Mar 20, 2013 at 9:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Tard

    I’ve been in this situation, we just wrote down the stupid things they said to each other and slid the transcript under their door.
    Hee hee

    Mar 18, 2013 at 8:17 am   rating: 76  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   redheadwglasses

    The note is fine, overall, but she had to tape it ot the door so anyone walking by or visiting could see it? Really? She couldn’t, oh, I don’t know, fold it up and slide it under the door? Or fold it then tape it to the door? Put it in the envelope?

    I suspect the submitter also is the writer.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 8:41 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Elf

      Because that way, no one else would know they are having loud sex?

      I think the immediate neighbors are aware. Possibly the whole neighborhood is aware.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 3:08 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Dane Zeller

    I don’t understand the problem.

    But then, I have such low standards for my entertainment.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 9:13 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Imalia

    I can kind of get the “but I love the gays” part of the note. A little over the top, perhaps, but if they had left it out, well, I can already hear the cries of “But you only have a problem because it’s gay sex!” Perhaps not from this couple, but far too often in my life I have heard complaints shot down by the people being complained about as “you only have a problem because we’re (insert desciptor of ethinicity, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation etc)”

    Mar 18, 2013 at 9:44 am   rating: 51  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   pooham

      I agree Imalia. But I bet nobody will like this comment b/c I’m a Wiccan Eskimo hermaphrodite.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 11:07 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   kathlynn

      I agree. But I also have seen cases where it is a valid response. Like my grandma watches “days of our lives” (a soap opera) they introduced a few gay characters recently, two of them got together and they occasionally held hands and kissed. She became grumpy about the amount of PDA they were showing. (hand holding, hugging, kissing). So I questioned her on whether or not they were showing more PDA then all the other hetrosexual couples (Nope, there was less actually). she did the same with a movie, the gay couple were the main characters and exchanged one small kiss at the very end of the movie, and she thought it was unnecessary.
      She likes to claim she’s not homophobic, but she certainly has the tendencies for it.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 12:56 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   H for Toy

    I wonder if it’s the “sexually frustrated” more than the “tired” that finally prompted her to leave the note.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 9:44 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Kendall

    When I was in college the Linebacker for our football team lived next door. Our bedrooms were next to each other.

    He dated the cheerleader that got thrown in the air all the time, so needless to say, she was tiny.

    That huge football player had awesome stamina and could go for what seemed like days. The cheerleader and I had a couple of classes together and I always had a hard time looking at her after one of the MANY nights of enjoyment.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 10:47 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   VM

    I’m still puzzling over the illustration printed on the paper. Is the girl wearing a coolie hat posing in front of a red cloud, or is the hat sporting a dyed ostrich-plume panache like on the top of a helmet on a coat of arms? Or is the hat actually one of those school project volcano things in full baking soda-erupting glory? I gotta admit that if it’s the latter, it’s a perfect allegorical image to grace a PAN.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 11:14 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Ace of Space

    I happen to love the red cloud of fury over the little girl’s head.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 12:19 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Red Delicious

    Having been on both ends of this argument (not the gay part, just the noisy sex part) I think there are limits. Most apartment complexes have quiet hours that start and end at certain times. If you’re going to have sex during the quiet hours, be quiet. It’s common courtesy.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 12:19 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Serenity

      Or, how about if you live in an apartment building with thin walls, you have some class, and try to be quiet with the sex sounds no matter what the hour? I can be a loud one, but since I live in an apartment, I’d rather not all my immediate neighbors hear me, so, I keep it down. Crazy, I know.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 6:38 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Serenity

      I had to leave a very similar note for my former upstairs neighbors. 5 a.m., every day, super loud morning sex. And the bed hitting the wall so hard, that MY bed was shaking…a lot!! After giving it a few weeks to see if it would tone down, and instead finding it to be a daily occurrence, I couldn’t take it anymore. After leaving the note, the guy came downstairs to acknowledge it…but said “they’d try, but no promises”. I was trying to be nice, had suggested “hey, maybe move your bed away from the wall a bit, etc.” But his kind of whatever, don’t really care attitude pissed me off to where I then said” well, try hard, because even though the note was perhaps embarrassing, it will be more embarrassing if I have to call the landlord to complain” No more problems after that :)

      Mar 18, 2013 at 6:48 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Serenity

      ^ that was supposed to be a stand alone comment, not a reply. and it won’t let me fix it :(

      Mar 18, 2013 at 6:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Rene

      Shit happens. I’ve left a super bitchy “reply” to somebody on accident when it should have been a stand alone.

      Mar 19, 2013 at 9:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Confessions from the Hairdresser

    She was a cute note-writer, I like her!

    I would be friends with her :)

    Mar 18, 2013 at 12:22 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Rene

      Indeed, she has nice handwriting.

      Mar 19, 2013 at 9:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Snooks

    I lived in a house that was about 15 feet from the neighboring house, and our neighbor used to have incredibly loud sex that we could hear from our dining room table. One afternoon (it was always Sunday afternoon), at the end of her performance, my husband and adult stepdaughter and I clapped and whistled loudly. It didn’t stop her, but she never could look us in the eye after that.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 12:34 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Eric

    Nobody makes that much noise unless they want to be heard.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 12:36 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Winkie

      This, this, a hundred times this!!

      Mar 18, 2013 at 4:21 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   kathlynn

      I don’t think my brother or his (ex)GF wanted me to see or here their bed games, but well old trailers have thin flexible walls, and damn it my eyes and ears are scarred for life.

      Mar 19, 2013 at 4:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   notolaf

      At least it wasn’t your parents!

      Mar 26, 2013 at 4:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Kim

    I had a college girl living in the apartment above me. Everything was great till her boyfriend moved in. They’d have sex, which wasn’t crazy loud, however, they would then fight, which would get loud, he’d leave while slamming the door, and she’d instantly vacuum the apartment. At 2 a.m. The first time it happened, I thought it was just odd. Then the process started to repeat every other night. *face palm*

    Mar 18, 2013 at 12:41 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Seanette

      Vacuuming after domestic disputes? That’s a bit odd.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 3:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Rene

      Fighting after sex & then vacuuming? I’m so confused.

      Mar 19, 2013 at 9:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   The Elf

      Remember the “filthy dirtbag” PAN a few days ago? Are you sure it’s vacuuming?

      Mar 19, 2013 at 10:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   FeRD bang

    Honestly (as someone with skin in the game, though I certainly wouldn’t presume to speak for All Teh Gheys®)… the “it’s not because you’re gay” thing is fine.

    It’s an understandable, and common, str8-person hangup — once she indicated that she was aware they were a gay couple, she had to make it clear that wasn’t a factor. We Get That A Lot™.

    Her other option was to “play dumb” that she’s aware the sex in question is between two men, and make no reference to it at all — but then that can come off like she’s pointedly avoiding the pink elephants (humping) in the room.

    The way the notewriter deals with it is fine, IMHO. This certainly isn’t an “I’m not racist, but…” sort of situation.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 12:46 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Rocket J

    I don’t think this was passive-aggressive at all. I think the note writer was very polite and just asking for a little compromise in the situation.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 12:56 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   H for Toy

      But it was funny, fulfilling the minimum required criteria for being posted on this site, therefore, we will not banish it.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 1:25 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Jolly

    Haha, right. Like I’m gonna stop having amazing sex because you can’t handle noise from neighboring apartments. Team sexy gay couple all the way.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 1:37 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Amelia

      surely amazing sex can still be had, albeit more quietly? I would feel really uncomfortable knowing that a bunch of strangers were listening to me having sex, but I’m not much of an exhibitionist either.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 6:49 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Raichu

      You sound like such a considerate neighbor.

      Mar 20, 2013 at 9:07 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   misscris

    I had a couple through the wall from me in my mum’s house as a teenager. My method of dealing with it? banging the wall and moaning loudly and sexually in time to their own moans – it can really put a person off their rhythm if the next door neighbour’s kid is joining in. lol

    Mar 18, 2013 at 1:42 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   The Elf

      Lol! Yes, Ms. Sexually Frustrated needs to have a bang-off. It not only would quiet down the neighbors but it would also resolve her other problem.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 3:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   juju_skittles

      I think if Ms Sexually Frustrated could have a bang off she wouldn’t be … oh never mind.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 11:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Rene

      Screwing up somebody’s rhythm is the ultimate passive-aggressive act.

      Mar 19, 2013 at 9:55 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Brian

    I lived on the ground floor of a three family house. For a while the couple on the top floor rutted so loudly I could hear them. My friend in the middle said he couldn’t hear himself having sex over them.

    One day he set up a microphone and some cheap/free recording software, and slipped a CD in their mailbox with a note that the next one would be posted online.

    Now that’s PA.

    Mar 18, 2013 at 1:51 pm   rating: 71  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Amanda6

    The sign-off really makes the entire note. The whole thing is very polite and reasonable, and then the hat-tip to sexual frustration gives it an extra kick of humor and brings it to another level. Like paprika. Or sriracha, if you’re nasty*.

    (*in the Janet way, not the bad taste way. Bc sriracha is awesome. In case that wasn’t clear.)

    Mar 18, 2013 at 2:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Dana

    When I was staying in Dublin, I was in a very small apartment, sleeping in a wobbly bed. The slightest movement prompted the headboard to go BANGBANGBANG against the wall, and I couldn’t move the bed away from the wall because there was no room. Anyway, I’m sure the neighbours thought that I was having a lot more fun than I was.

    Then again, some of them had the noisiest sex I’ve ever heard in my LIFE on the rooftop play area one night . . .

    Mar 18, 2013 at 9:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   PinkPlaidRibbon

      I have a full length mirror that leans against the wall, and every time my noisy upstairs neighbors would do jumping jacks or wrestle bears or whatever they do up there to make my walls shake, it would rattle the mirror. I put a rolled up t-shirt behind it and that prevents rattling.

      Just a note for next time :)

      Mar 19, 2013 at 6:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Dana

      Headboard was way too big for a shirt to make any difference. Nothing kept it from rattling.

      Mar 20, 2013 at 7:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   adam

    she seems very nice. she gets nice-person hugs. <3

    Mar 19, 2013 at 6:09 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Mike D

    I stayed at a hotel in Toronto with a former GF for a weekend visit and the walls were so thin that the couple in the next room (who were, indeed, bound to win a prize – apologizes to Paul Simon) made the wall behind the head of our bed buckle in and out. Seriously, with each thrust the wall would bulge then receded. It was more funny than annoying (they didn’t do at it all night). We’d lay their laughing and bouncing back and forth as we purposely leaned on the wall. On the last night, I yelled, “You should at least buy me dinner first.” They were too busy to appreciate the joke.

    Mar 19, 2013 at 7:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   spoonleg

    I think we’re all missing the point here… EVERY NIGHT?! Who does that?!

    Mar 19, 2013 at 9:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   The Elf

      Who wouldn’t if they could?

      Mar 19, 2013 at 10:52 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Lil'

      Me. I’m still young, but dang – every night? I’d rather more nooners and extra nights of just falling right to sleep. My husband, on the other hand, would probably like sex every night AND more nooners.

      Mar 19, 2013 at 11:33 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Brian

      Apparently gay men? Which fits the stereotypes at least.

      Mar 20, 2013 at 11:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Rene

    I like that she compliments their taste in music.

    Mar 19, 2013 at 10:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Nope

    Sounds like she just needs to get laid. Problem solved.

    Mar 20, 2013 at 12:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Rowan

    I’ll go with Team Note-writer on this one. Ball gags exist for a reason. At the very least, learn to scream into a pillow.

    Mar 20, 2013 at 6:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   smirkette

    Totally Team Notewriter. My downstairs neighbor once complained about the noise created by my bathing (I’m a night bather and would shower at 10-11pm) shortly after moving in, asking me to shower before 10pm…only to have really, REALLY loud sex 4+ times a week after 10pm after I’d immediately complied with her request. And now she keeps asking me to dinner. I know I’m probably a prude, but I’m just not comfortable dining with people whose sex lives I know intimately and can imitate with great accuracy.

    …I might have to write them a note.

    Mar 21, 2013 at 9:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Jessica

    Was it necessary to explain her support of gay rights and that they are gay? I always laugh at stuff like that. I mean if its no big deal to you then whyd you even make it a matter? lolol some people.

    Mar 22, 2013 at 12:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   The Elf

      Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

      Mar 22, 2013 at 12:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   Brian

      Because they’ve been falsely accused of bigotry in the past? If you’re anti-Obama it’s because your racist, if you’re anti-Hillary it’s because your sexist, if you don’t like Eddie Izzard your biased against transvestites…and if you don’t like hearing your gay neighbors amorous activity, you must be homophobic. All of these statements have been repeatedly made, (except maybe the Eddie Izzard one, bu then who dislikes Eddie Izzard?)

      Mar 22, 2013 at 1:00 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Mysty

    When I was in college, my very first year I lived in a dorm with paper-thin walls. My neighbor and I were both without roommates (me because mine moved out with a friend, her because it was a single). She had sex with her boyfriend every evening around six, which isn’t so bad, I suppose, but I don’t think she realized her neighbor was the one person in the dorm who was home at six in the evening rather than out with friends.

    I’d joke with a friend of mine that the guy was actually gay, because while she was vocal, I never heard a peep from him. If I hadn’t seen him around I might think she was just masturbating. And of course I wasn’t serious. But then one day, around midnight, she came storming through. I’m sitting at my computer, writing an essay and listening to her talking on the phone about how the guy dumped her because it turns out he’s gay. Sometimes this stuff just writes itself.

    Mar 22, 2013 at 2:35 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Umre

    haha its funy. İ like that. When ı was going to college ı can do this :) lol :)

    Mar 25, 2013 at 6:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   flightless-phoenix

    I used to have a housemate whose girlfriend lived in another city; every time she came to visit all we heard was them at it, must have been 12 times a day. We mostly ignored it because they didn’t get to see each other that often.

    One night though whilst watching a film in my room with the other housemates we heard her climax and scream ‘GANDALF!!!!’ which can’t be ignored. Just too funny! Maybe he was keeping a false beard under his bed?

    When he started cheating on her (with an even more vocal girl) I used to shout Gandalf to put him off, because I didn’t know her well enough to to be the one to tell her what a scumbag he was. That worked. Also once he left the door open (who the hell does that?), so I walked past and slammed it shut.

    I think the note writer handled this pretty well.

    If the the girl who got cheated on sees this, I’d like her to know I still feel bad that I didn’t tell her what was happening.

    Mar 27, 2013 at 1:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     

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