Wild as a mink but sweet as (broken bottles of) soda pop

March 28th, 2013 · 53 comments

This interesting counterpoint to yesterday’s “multi-offensive” North Dakota screed was spotted by Amanda in the mountains of good ol’ East Tennessee. It was posted near a rope swing across a river, a popular place for swimming, breaking beer bottles, and, apparently, educating the next generation of foul-mouthed note-writers.

Hey asshole yeah you, you dumb redneck. Instead breaking glass bottles where my kids swim, can't u screw ur cousin instead? They have about the same entertainment value...I'm told. Or do us all a favor & screw a broken bottle. Fukn jerks

related: Roadside Intervention

FILED UNDER: small town living · southern charm · spelling and grammar police · Tennessee · that's trashy


53 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Marie

    Kids swim here? Better write “fukn.” So thoughtful.

    Mar 28, 2013 at 10:47 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Bee Good

      At least the sign did not call anyone a retard; that cuts worse than broken beer bottle…

      Apr 2, 2013 at 9:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   staniel

    ok come on — this is hysterical. totally worthy of being memorialized.

    Mar 28, 2013 at 10:52 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Tesselara

      “They have the same entertainment value…I’m told.” That coy little ellipse makes me certain that the sign writer has thorough first-hand experience with cousin love.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 2:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   jazzgirl205

    It’s obvious that his kid got hurt and he really wants to beat the crap out of somebody.

    Mar 28, 2013 at 10:54 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Kat

      Then perhaps that parent should have scouted the grounds beforehand for things like, I dunno, broken glass. I’m not defending the scoundrel who left it, mind you, but geez.

      Mar 28, 2013 at 11:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Nunavut Guy

      Uh,Ya…He really does come across as a role model type parent.

      Mar 28, 2013 at 11:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Ruby

      If I she says it is beside yon ol’ watering hole, the glass is probably in the mud at the bottom and pretty hard to spot without diving gear / a bloody foot.

      Just a thought.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 2:13 am   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Ruby

      If as she says it is beside yon ol’ watering hole, the glass is probably in the mud at the bottom and pretty hard to spot without diving gear / a bloody foot.

      Just a thought.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 2:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Ruby

      I can only delete the corrected comment. :/

      Mar 29, 2013 at 2:33 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Lil'

      Parents should scout the ground for broken glass before the kids play? Does that apply at just the swimming hole or everywhere? C’mon. How about being decent and not breaking bottles in places like this? We shouldn’t have to walk around checking every inch of ground before we step or let our children play. It’s reasonable to expect that people would refrain from breaking glass in commonly used areas. Of course, there are d-bags everywhere who have a “screw you” attitude when it comes to using common courtesy – and there are people without children who are offended at the notion that they should be conscious of you and yours.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 12:23 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Nunavut Guy

      Been there Ruby;too many times.

      I could use a virtual eraser.

      Mar 30, 2013 at 10:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Straightline bang

    Bunch of fukn Dick Monkeys.

    Mar 28, 2013 at 11:01 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Swami Guy

      Who the hell is Dick Monkey?

      Mar 30, 2013 at 1:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   George P

    I still dream about that.

    Mar 28, 2013 at 11:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Nunavut Guy

      Dream of Monkey Dick?……Sorry none of my business.

      Mar 30, 2013 at 1:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   SeeYouInTea

    As a southerner (a city girl at that!), I find it hilarious that people of Appalachia also believe in the redneck stereotype of cousin fucking.

    Mar 29, 2013 at 12:09 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Janos

      That’s hilarious!!! Cuzin fukin!

      Mar 29, 2013 at 12:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Nunavut Guy

      Oh ,I see…..back to the “R” word is it.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 12:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Tom

      I had a friend who was born in West Virginia. When we asked her (after she moved to Delaware and met us) if any of it was true and she said (paraphrasing here) “Yes. Absolutely. It’s not like all of them do, but it happens, and it happens more than other places in the country from what I see.”

      One woman’s anecdote…

      Mar 29, 2013 at 11:19 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   redheadwglasses

      From some research I had to do for a paper I was writing, Ohio and Indiana lead the nation in cases of incest, but not the cousin incest, rather — the parent-child incest, especially where the families are so messed up that it continues even into the child’s adulthood.

      This apparently is most common in the southern areas of Indiana and Ohio.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 11:40 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Thneed

      @redhead: are those incestuous relationships where everyone involved wants to be involved? Or are you talking about childhood sexual abuse that continues into adulthood? (At which point it’s arguably okay, although I wouldn’t make that argument.)

      Mar 29, 2013 at 12:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Allergies

      I’m from West Virginia and I don’t personally know of any cases of cousin lovin’. I mean, I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but if it does it’s probably in the really rural parts of the state. Plus you’re going to have your weirdos wherever you go. WV is the butt of a lot of jokes, but there are really some very nice parts, I miss it.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 8:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   VM

      Did you know that first-cousin marriage is legal in California? Learned that from a cousin, just before she became my sister-in-law.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 9:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   redheadwglasses

      thneed: It’s cases where childhood abuse carries on into adulthood.

      First-cousin marriage is allowed in quite a few states, I believe.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 11:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   It's a me mario :3

      …..this is why I hate saying I am from West Virginia when people ask.

      Apr 4, 2013 at 7:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   Raichu

      Slightly OT, but I go camping and rafting in West Virginia some summers and I think it is absolutely one of the most beautiful places =3

      Apr 7, 2013 at 9:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Tard

    This guy could not possibly be from Tennessee.

    We would have set up surveillance, caught them in the act, and fucked them up something special.

    Mar 29, 2013 at 8:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Nunavut Guy

      And played it back to them with”Dueling banjos” as the sound track?

      Mar 29, 2013 at 9:23 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   girl_with_all_the_yarn

    So we’re agreed: location has nothing to do with it. It’s humans we don’t like.

    Mar 29, 2013 at 8:35 am   rating: 50  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Cake

      This. This. A thousand times THIS.

      I smell WOTD again!

      Mar 29, 2013 at 1:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   AP

    I honestly don’t understand people’s inability to realize why you shouldn’t bring glass where people swim and walk barefoot. Even if it’s an ol’ swimmin’ hole or whatever.

    Broken glass + bare feet = bad idea.

    Mar 29, 2013 at 10:38 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Nunavut Guy

      That’s why I switched to contacts.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 10:58 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   redheadwglasses

    Sounds like the mombies on FB who complain about July 4th fireworks, UPS delivery drivers who ring the doorbell, etc., when their precious spawn are trying to nap. Yes, the entire world should act in the best interest of your baby. Whatevs.

    Mar 29, 2013 at 11:33 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Jami

      I don’t know. I think not breaking glass bottles for fun where people swim is just a good idea in general. For adults and children alike. Not to mention pets and local wildlife.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 12:06 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Snicklefritz

      I say if a kid can’t experience a piece of broken glass in their foot, then a subsequent trip to the ER for a tetanus shot, then you’re not doing your job to prepare them for real life. Every kid should enjoy hobbling around on one foot because they forgot to look where they are walking.

      And for those of you that don’t get the concept of sarcasm…. this is what it looks like.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 12:16 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Lil'

      There’s no comparison. A delivery driver doing his his job with no way to know your baby is sleeping and someone busting glass bottles in an area where someone is very likely to be injured as a result are two completely different things. It’s not about parents wanting the world to revolve around our children. The reality is we can’t all do whatever we please without regard to the safety of others.

      Mar 29, 2013 at 12:50 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   NOOOOO!

      Agreed. I don’t want to think about how many delivery drivers get reamed for not ringing the doorbell. I remember being pissed when the driver DIDN’T ring the doorbell and surprise flowers from my mom were completely ruined left out in the hot sun all day.

      Mar 30, 2013 at 8:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   jazzgirl205

      When dd was a baby, I trained that girl to sleep through anything. We went to a reenactment when she was an infant and she slept thru cannonfire and galloping horses.
      It is hard to wake her up for school, though.

      Mar 30, 2013 at 4:05 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Nunavut Guy

      1o points to Snicklefritz.

      Mar 30, 2013 at 7:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   Snicklefritz

      What can I buy with those 10 points? Is there a secret PAN gift shop that only the hard core PANners know about?

      Apr 1, 2013 at 9:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   redheadwglasses

      Of course people shouldn’t go around breaking glass. But if someone is that stupid, an obnoxious note on a tree isn’t going to stop them.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 11:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   depro

    Can we agree that it doesn’t take a big fukn brain to break bottles anywhere, since they could be recycled for money?

    Mar 29, 2013 at 2:20 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Swami Guy

    The glass really doesn’t bother me.

    Mar 29, 2013 at 7:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Islay

    Leaving broken glass around is littering, and littering sucks. Give a hoot; don’t pollute.

    Mar 29, 2013 at 9:27 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Umre Turlar?

    Looks like a very fun activity. Handwritten text. Cardboard and colored paper, hand written letters. all color with color. I liked it a lot this activity

    Mar 30, 2013 at 9:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Umre Turlar?

    Looks like a very fun activity. Handwritten text. Cardboard and colored paper, hand written letters. all color with color. I liked it a lot this activity

    Mar 30, 2013 at 9:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Fritz-the-Cat

    From experience I can say nothing beats a cut in the foot, hobbling to your parents and getting dirt and stuff into said cut. It’s great, everyone should try it!

    That said, I really doubt the idjits who left the broken glass will refrain from doing that just because someone wrote an offensive text. Sadly, I fear it would only egg them on…

    Mar 30, 2013 at 10:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Walter

      I doubt the offenders can read the sign, especially because it was written in phone text style. Old crank phones don’t text well.

      Mar 30, 2013 at 11:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Iwill FindU

    I’ve found that most broken bottles tend to be beer bottles. I’m not sure if that’s due to most pop bottles being made from plastic or a can were as beer is still a glass bottle or can.
    But having dropped countless bottles/glass jars in my lifetime very few will shatter on the first drop. Most of the time you have to try to break that freaking bottle. And I can’t help but wonder why? For starters when you turn in your empty beer bottles (most places) give you a small amount of money back… that’s more money for beer you’re smashing! And more over when you break your bottles in a public place were people go bare foot like a beach you’re just inflicting your drunken asshole-inness on the general public. If you need to be an ass and break your bottles please do so in your own back yard where no one else has to suffer.

    Mar 30, 2013 at 3:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   kermit

    Meh, if you’re going to swim in a swimmin’ hole, the onus is on you to wear some water shoes to protect your feet.

    It might not completely protect you against broken bottles, sharp rocks or crawly creatures at the bottom, but it’s better than bare feet.

    Besides, you’re giving your immune system a workout with a tetanus shot, and that’s good for you!

    Mar 30, 2013 at 10:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Iwill FindU

      Tetanus shots as part of normal health care aren’t so bad. But that same tetanus shot when you’re sitting in the ER because you got a piece of glass in your foot and you don’t remember when your last shot was cause you’re in pain, bleeding and waiting for them to stich you up, that sucks.
      I’m sorry but even in Canada were I don’t have to pay for the doctor, I do have to pay for the tetanus shot. Getting that shot just makes me want to beat the heck out of the jerk that smached the bottle. Even more so when it turns out my tetanus was up to date.

      Mar 30, 2013 at 10:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Nunavut Guy

      Have you checked out the “edit feature”on this site?

      It’s really worth a look.

      Mar 31, 2013 at 12:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     

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