A note from the Easter Bunny

March 31st, 2013 · 57 comments

Christine from Buffalo says her 7-year-old daughter, Mary, was curious as to whether or not the Easter Bunny pooped chocolate. Yet when this note showed up next to a pile of “droppings,” little Mary was unwilling to taste a sample to find out.

Dear Mary, Your mom forgot to put out carrots, so I got them from the refrigerator and pooped on the floor. Don't be mad at her for forgetting! There was some water on the table, and I drank it because I was thirsty. Love, the Easter Bunny.

P.S. Is leaving carrots for the Easter bunny a thing, like leaving cookies for Santa? I totally didn’t know that was a thing, if it is a thing. Is it?

P.P. S. We can all agree that mall Easter bunnies are totally creepy, right?

related: The Easter bunny is a passive-aggressive little bugger

FILED UNDER: Easter · Moms & Dads


57 responses so far ↓

  • #1   ?

    We always left carrots for the Easter Bunny when I was growing up!

    Mar 31, 2013 at 9:05 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Stuffin'

      Same here, it is definitely a thing. Thankfully though, creepy Easter bunnies were not a thing for me as a child.

      Mar 31, 2013 at 10:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   The Elf

      Same here, but I think my parents probably liked the cookies and brandy* that we left at Christmas better.

      *Brandy, not milk, because “it gets cold out there and Santa needs it to stay warm”.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 11:29 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   jazzgirl205

      Elf,
      Daddy insisted that we leave Santa Jack Daniels!

      Apr 1, 2013 at 3:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Beatus Mongous

      Rabbits prefer lettuce. We can all thank Mel Blanc for the carrot misnomer.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 7:49 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Lil'

      Well then, Beatus, perhaps you can explain why we’ve never seen a rabbit wearing glasses. Hmm?

      Apr 1, 2013 at 8:41 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   The Elf

      My pet rabbit prefered bananas, black plums, bok choy, and beard hair. No joke. He really did.

      Bunny, brought to you by the letter B.

      He wouldn’t turn down a carrot, though. And he loved hay, which you’d think would be for horses.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 6:49 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   thrall bang

    The second photo in which Bunny is hauling off the yellow-clad Peep confection to his lair in order to devour her at leisure is priceless. Although her therapy bills may be pricey…

    Mar 31, 2013 at 9:08 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   thrall bang

    At least the Easter Bunny wasn’t drinking out of the porcelain fountain…

    Mar 31, 2013 at 9:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   scott hall

    I’ve never heard of putting out carrots and receiving notes from the Easter bunny

    Mar 31, 2013 at 9:29 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Sharon Bailgoat

    Is this supposed to be cute? Totally classless and disgusting. Nothing says Happy resurrection Jesus like a pooping anamorphic rabbit. AMEN.

    Mar 31, 2013 at 11:05 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Aidan

      The word you were looking for is anthropomorphic. Anamorphic has to do with shooting widescreen on 35mm film. Also there is NOTHING about Easter which has to do with Jesus, it was just easier to convert the Pagans by adopting and adapting their holiday (Ostara) to fit Christian teachings.

      Mar 31, 2013 at 11:12 pm   rating: 62  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   H for Toy

      Sharon, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”

      Mar 31, 2013 at 11:13 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   kermit

      Not to get into a religious argument, Aidan, but that’s not entirely accurate. Orthodox Christians don’t celebrate Easter this way at all.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 3:29 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Beatrice

      Sharon, not everyone is a Christian, yet they still tell their children about the Easter bunny. Imagine being a child and all of your friends are excited for the arrival of candy from the Easter bunny, but because your parents aren’t religious, you miss out. Pretty sad, in my opinion.

      I’m not a Christian and discussed the Easter bunny with my mum, telling her how I felt ridiculous telling a child something so preposterous, but that’s how she explained it to me, so I will be doing the Easter bunny thing with my children for that reason.

      A man supposedly rises from the dead, but a bunny can’t bring children candy and poop chocolate on the floor?!? Personally, I think the chocolate poop thing is adorable.

      I think your comment is the only thing here that’s “classless”.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 3:41 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Stuffin'

      Yeah the very idea of a magic rabbit bringing treats to children is just ridiculous. Easter is supposed to be about the zombie who rose from the grave to save us all.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 3:46 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Jami

      Oh geez, not the zombie thing again.

      The rising from the dead zombie is a Hollywood invention that is a combo of vampire mythology (rising from the dead to feast on the living) and ghoul mythology (supernatural beings that hang out in graveyards and eat dead people). “Real” zombies are people who are either under a spell or the influence of drugs that leaves them completely under the control of another, but are still alive and can be freed of control.

      Jesus’ resurrection is much closer to the rising of a vampire than a zombie. So if there ever is a 2nd coming, I suggest checking for fangs.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 8:11 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Tom

      I saw a silly post on another site that Jesus was in fact, a lich. They discredited all the other ones one way or another I believe, but vampire would definitely be closer than zombie.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 9:17 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   Snicklefritz

      Damn Jami – I was expecting you to go in a whole other direction, until you threw in that vampire reference. Brava

      Apr 1, 2013 at 10:02 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   Conuly

      Is that why Christians rather oddly drink his blood?

      Apr 1, 2013 at 11:05 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   The Elf

      That pooping chocolate bunny works well if you celebrate Ostara (or to use an older word, Ēostre).

      Huh, that word seems an awful lot like “Easter”. I wonder why……

      Apr 1, 2013 at 11:35 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   kermit

      Elf, it may very well be a coincidence of translation.

      The Roma people originated from India have nothing to do with the Romans. Yet if you were just looking at the name, you’d be inclined to conclude that there is some connection between them.

      And since pagans and the religious have been living together in the same communities since forever, it’s not really that surprising that some spring celebrations would be the same. They likely also cooked similar dishes. That doesn’t mean that the practices of the religious and the pagans are one and the same thing, or that one derived from the other.

      Long story short, let people have their damn celebrations, whether they’re religious in nature or not religious at all. People are free to choose if they want to have a festive Easter or a more “serious” religion-centred celebration. (And if you think those are fun, remember that some people go to Jerusalem to re-enact the crucifixion.)

      Apr 1, 2013 at 11:58 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   flightless-phoenix

      I’d like to make a small point:

      Christianity is not the only religion, the Pagans who celebrated Ostara were also religious, they just had a different set of beliefs.

      Personally I believe everyone should be able to believe and celebrate however they like, as long as I’m free to ignore the holiday entirely =P (well except for being happy at getting a day off work, but sad because the library is closed!)

      Apr 1, 2013 at 12:33 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   jazzgirl205

      I come to this site because of the intelligent and clever comments of the posters. To call someone’s Messiah a zombie or vampire is neither intelligent or clever. It is disrespectful, sophomoric, and rude.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 4:20 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   kermit

      I have to agree with Jazzgirl here. No matter what your beliefs are, it’s disparaging and extremely insulting to make that comparison – not the least of which is because people take religious beliefs seriously and zombie stuff as entertainment.

      And not for nothing, but unless you’re a bastion of rationality, any disparaging religious people for their beliefs is hypocritical.

      The truth is that we ALL hold irrational beliefs of one kind or another. To deny that is to deny that you’ve ever liked anybody or been in love or have loved anyone in your life thus far. And that’s a tall order.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 5:36 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.15   Laura

      …what Jazzgirl said.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 8:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Cameron

    It’s obvious. Feed the bunny carrots and he poops chocolate. Don’t rock my world with new concepts.

    Mar 31, 2013 at 11:07 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   H for Toy

    I don’t know about leaving carrots. Seems like a bad idea, because I just found out today that if you catch the Easter Bunny, Easter will end FOREVER!

    Mar 31, 2013 at 11:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   NoAdditives

      Did you just watch Hop for the first time today?

      Mar 31, 2013 at 11:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   H for Toy

      No, I’ve never watched Hop. My step-daughter told me (with awe in her voice). Is that where she got it?

      Apr 1, 2013 at 5:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Lil'

      I just watched Hop this weekend for the first time. I kind of liked it. I was troubled by the fact that he pooped jelly beans until I saw this morning’s PAN. If I absolutely had to pick, I’d go with the jelly bean poop over the chocolate poop. And while we are in the land of fairy tales, I really wish I could get my hands on the hen that lays the golden eggs – I watched Puss in Boots this weekend too…Don’t judge me.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 7:34 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   H for Toy

      No judgement here. I spend Friday watching My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake, and reading Ramona and Beezus. I ended my evening with the original Karate Kid as my “grown-up” movie.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 9:03 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   John

      I think thaw reference of No more Easter is from Rise of the Guardians. Just watched it last night.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 10:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Macca

      I think the whole point of making them chocolate egg poops was so that when fathers or big brothers found some real bunny poop out in the field, they could try and convince their little siblings/children to try it because “it’s chocolate!”

      I never fell for it, but I did come awfully close the first time.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 11:19 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   redheadwglasses

      I made my little brother (as in, forced his head down with my hands) drink rainwater out of dried up cowpies.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 11:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   jk

    I grew up Jewish and married a Catholic. We never had an Easter celebrations, so I find things like this really helpful to know what I can pull off for my children since we now celebrate both holidays. It’s all about being a sneaky mom…

    Apr 1, 2013 at 7:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   t-rex

    The Easter Bunny came to my house this weekend. It hate our rose bushes and crapped all over our garden. I suspect those droppings are not made out of chocolate.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 7:55 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Lil'

      Only one way to find out…

      Apr 1, 2013 at 8:01 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   t-rex

      It sounds like you want to volunteer. Come on over and give them a try.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 12:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Jodie

    Eww. They’re meant to be eggs, not droppings, the same as you don’t eat scrambled chicken poop for breakfast.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 8:23 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   The Elf

      YOU don’t.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 11:39 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Dane Zeller

    I was raised to believe in the principles laid out by the pastor of our 2nd Baptist Church of the 2nd Coming. We were taught that if the Easter Bunny saw it’s shadow on the last day of March, the chocolate futures market would plummet. We thought our pastor stole this concept from another event, but we were never allowed to express our skepticism.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 8:30 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   KD

    I just don’t know why people think it’s a good idea to lie to children the first 4-6 years of their lives.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 9:11 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   H for Toy

      Or 10. My 10 year old neighbor still believes in Santa. I made the mistake of saying something about Santa not being the one who had to shell out the money for all the stuff she wanted for Christmas, and had to backtrack and say that sometimes Santa has parents help him, since he’s so busy. I never believed in Santa or the Easter Bunny as a kid. I don’t remember anyone ever telling me they weren’t real, I just don’t remember anyone saying they were. We used to have presents under the tree from Santa every year, but I just always knew it was pretend. We never pretended the Easter Bunny though. My grandparents used to bring us these awesome baskets made of chocolate, filled with gourmet chocolates from the Broadway Market, and they weren’t about to give some giant, invisible bunny named Harvey credit for it.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 9:34 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Lil'

      Growing up my family was big on the Santa thing. We kids figured out early on that it was pretend, but our parents were so excited that we played along for years. When we felt it was an appropriate time, we had a heart-to-heart with our parents to let them know the sad news…that we had known the truth for years. It was a bittersweet day.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 10:15 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Dogen

      I grew up in a Spanish speaking household. When I was 6 or 7 years old, I wrote a letter to Santa in English citing all my good deeds of the year and asking for some toy. When the reply came back in Spanish I figured out it was my parents. It was more bitter than sweet at the time but in hindsight, it was pretty sweet.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 1:53 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Snowflame

      When I was 7 or so, I left a note out asking for Santa’s autograph and then compared the writing to my parents’ in order to ‘prove’ whether or not Santa was real. Rather than take this as a sign that it was time to end the lie, my parents went to the trouble of writing a note and signing it in fake handwriting and with a fountain pen, rather than the biros they’d normally use. Apparently, they were really keen to keep the whole thing going.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 8:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Mulled Vine

    I discovered this Easter to my dismay that one is never too old for Easter eggs. My wife and daughters had all bought Easter eggs, but I didn’t bother, thinking we were all too old for this nonsense.

    I was told different. :/

    Apr 1, 2013 at 9:31 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Macca

      Hey now, crafts time and chocolate for everybody? What’s there to complain about? I’m sure lots of people wouldn’t mind doing that every month for no reason at all!

      Apr 1, 2013 at 11:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Debra

    I left carrots for the Easter bunny for years. Unfortunately, my parents had never heard of this tradition so they just kept putting the carrots back in the fridge.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 11:30 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Newbie

    Harvey and my dad taught me to play Poker. Harvey was good for more than chocolate after all.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 12:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Escapist83

    I bet so many of those mall Easter Bunnies are really just Fursuit/Babyfur enthusiasts.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Amber

    I actually left celery for the Easter Bunny as a kid, and it ultimately ended up being my undoing. I believed in Santa, the Eater Bunny, Tooth Faerie, and such long after other kids. One Easter Eve I left out the normal celery and my Grandfather jumped the gun and started eating it while I was on my way upstairs. That’s when I realized the Easter Bunny wasn’t real, and by extension Santa and the Tooth Faerie and such were probably not real either. Broke my heart, especially since I was the kind of kid that hoped every day I would somehow stumble into Narnia or Fantasia or Wonderland, anywhere that wasn’t here. When I would leave celery I did get notes back, one my Grandmother even bothered to write the whole thing in shaky handwriting and have him mention it was sometimes hard writing with his left paw since he was left handed because I was left handed as well.

    Apr 2, 2013 at 1:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   It's a me mario :3

    We never left carrots for the Easter bunny. Come to think of it, the whole holiday at least in my house was really selfish. The easter bunny would leave eggs full of candy and some with money, and all of us kids would try to be the first one up so we could get all of the eggs with the money in it. And we never left anything for poor old easter bunny….

    Apr 4, 2013 at 6:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   kbee

    If I were a kid who grew up thinking the Easter bunny crapped out chocolate – as a grown up, I would start a Civetster holiday, where a civet would come in the night, eat a bowl of berries and shit out kopi luwak coffee beans to be found to delight of my family in the morning.

    Apr 4, 2013 at 4:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Gary

    One of my kids figured out that the Easter Bunny thing seemed a bit ridiculous at an early age. I was thinking she was pretty clever then she added “But Santa is real, right?”

    Apr 5, 2013 at 4:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Gary

    One of my kids figured out that the Easter Bunny thing seemed a bit ridiculous at an early age. I was thinking she was pretty clever then she added “But Santa is real, right?”

    Apr 5, 2013 at 4:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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