How do you like them eggs?

April 1st, 2013 · 71 comments

If you found yesterday’s post too saccharine for your taste, well, here’s a different sort of mother-daughter exchange. Hannah found this card nestled among a basket of Easter eggs that her mom gave her.

To Hannah, Happy Easter from the mother who 'f-cked up' your life and has done 'nothing' for you!

related: I can has guilt trip?

extra credit: “Family’s Easter decorations have neighbour hopping mad” [cbcnews]

FILED UNDER: Easter · U.K.

71 responses so far ↓

  • #1   sockpuppet

    wow, mom is a grade-A bitch

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Daniel

      Unless mom is just quoting child.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 8:03 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   kathlynn

      even if the mom is quoting the child, she’s a bitch.
      I would and have said the same things about my own mother. She’s a controlling manipulative, emotionally abusive, BITCH. Who thinks she knows better then anyone, even doctors, teachers etc, in the fields they are trained/schooled in. she recently decided after reading a wiki article that because I don’t have typical plantars facitiis (arch pain instead of heel pain) that the podiatrist didn’t know what he was talking about.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 10:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Marie

    Way to prove her wrong, Mama.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   ariemay

    I don’t think I’d eat anything in that basket.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   audient

    But did anyone eat carrots and poop on the floor?

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   buffyoga8

    My mother sent me something similar on my 40th birthday, reminding me, yet again, why we remain estranged.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   MomsAreAlwaysTerribleNoMatterWhat

    This mom is so bad at using passive aggression to get back at her kids for sucking the life out of her for three years followed by fifteen years of talking back and complaining how she never does anything for them. She should have written:


    To Hanna,

    I’m sorry for never doing anything for you and for fucking up your life. I tried very hard to give you everything I had, but it seems it wasn’t enough for you. If there is anything I can do to un-fuck it up, please let me know.

    Love, your regretful Mom


    See how much more that hurts?

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   kathlynn

      If my mother said that to me, rather then just denying everything, and making up bullshit excuses, I’d actually want her in my life, because she would’ve made a life change, and that means hopefully, she’d not be emotionally abusive etc.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 1:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   juleptime

      As much as you are right, you’re also wrong that a kid owes their mother anything for “sucking the life out of [mom] for three years.” If anything, that’s the one part of their life where the kid isn’t even aware that they did not not ask to be brought into this world by a shitty mother.

      Every kid complains about mom as a teen, and acts out. It’s how you assert your independence.

      People of the Internet, especially those of you who were terrible moms and think your kids owe you ANYTHING. STOP DEFENDING SHITTY MOTHERS. You all know you are out there, and I strongly suspect you are the only ones on the internet defending yourselves, so just stop.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 5:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   kazari

      Actually that’s exactly the email my mom wrote to my brother (which he forwarded to me for mutual ‘wtf this is’ commiseration). You’re only missing the “I thought you turned out okay because you didn’t join any gangs or do drugs” line.

      Apr 4, 2013 at 3:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   TEE-MAN

      The pa is strong in this one…

      Apr 11, 2013 at 1:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.5   NikNak

      All of this s***, is I why I don’t want kids. I don’t want a debate about what I did or didn’t do right over the years.. I don’t want some self-entitled b**** acting like I intentionally made her unhappy, and whining about not getting that expensive a** doll for Christmas that she saw her friend with, or having to move to a cheaper spot b/c she loved the school she was at.

      Seriously, people nowadays hold their parents on this unrealistic pedestal. You parents are human and f*** up just like you and everyone else. You are being equally as bad by holding onto that s***.

      Apr 29, 2013 at 3:17 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #7   Joanne M.

    Awwww, this brought sweet tears to my eyes. I miss my old mom who we criticized soundly, and I could totally see myself writing this kind of note to my daughters in 20 years.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Smelly Cat

    Wow, that was harsh…I wouldn’t be surprised if the so-called eggs that this was with weren’t really “eggs”…

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Smelly Cat

    Wow, that was harsh…I wouldn’t be surprised if the so-called eggs that this was with weren’t really eggs…

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Erica

    There are 2 sides to every story. Maybe Mom just acted out of anger. e.g. “We had a fight right before the big Easter lunch. I’m supposed to give you these eggs but let me add a card first.”

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   sockpuppet

      yeah that’s the point—parents are supposed to be the adults and not act out of petulant rage, even when the kids say mean things

      Apr 1, 2013 at 7:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Hannah

      Nope, she’s just cray-cray.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 1:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   The Elf

      Yeah, that kind of anger doesn’t last through going out to buy a card, picking out the perfect card, driving home, writing out the card, inserting it into the basket, and then waiting until the time came to give the basket.

      Unless Mom and Daughter have a secret code of love that includes insults (hey, you never know), this is just plain mean.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 7:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Tesstarosa

    Hell, I think it’s funny.

    And Hannah is probably bitchy enough to not get it.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 6:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Hannah

      I think it’s hilarious, that’s why I sent it in :-)

      Apr 2, 2013 at 1:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   The Elf

      I’m glad you can keep a sense of humor about this.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 7:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   juju_skittles

      Look on the bright side Hannah – you might find out you’re adopted!

      Apr 2, 2013 at 9:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Renee

    If “Hannah” actually told her mother those things, and is old enough to think to submit the card here, I’m sure the “bitchy mother” is just responding to an ungrateful brat. Unless it comes out that “Hannah” is actually eleven and her dad took the photo and sent it in, I am going to assume she’s a teenager who ran off at the mouth, and should probably be glad her punishment was a nasty card in her Easter eggs, and not having the smart phone she used to take the photo or the laptop she uses to log on to Passive Agressive Notes taken away until she can learn to be grateful.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 7:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Laura

      Unless Hannah is right and the mother did f-up her life. Not all mothers are good mothers and many do seriously f-up their children’s lives.
      Beaides, Hannah is a product of that f’d up mothering so being ungrateful would be expected from a f’d up child.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 7:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Snowflame

      Suppose that depends on your perspective. I have a friend who says things like that about her Mum all the time, and she gets cards like this most Christmas and birthdays. But she spent most of her childhood in foster care because of the many, many ways her mother f-ed up her life. There are some forms of parenting you really don’t have to be grateful for.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 7:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Olivia

      As a parent, I’d send my kid a card like that when hell froze over. Being the bigger person is part of the job description. How else are they meant to learn? And if you have something to say you do it clearly and directly, like an adult. That mother sounds about 13 herself.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 8:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   kermit

      Thank you, voice of reason.

      Apr 1, 2013 at 8:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   Hannah

      I am the Hannah who sent this in.

      I am 25 years old, and moved out of the family home at 18. I get un-provoked attacks like these all of the time, but usually in SMS form which I don’t reply to. My mother is just a crazy bitch :-)

      Apr 2, 2013 at 1:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.6   poppo

      Hannah, I feel for you. It might be funny now, but if you ever need to “get out”, do it without a second thought. I find as funny as it is, it’s wearing to have to deal with all their little pot-shots and it does allow them some of the control they want by dragging your attention back to them again and again. So if you get to that point, don’t feel bad about getting a new phone number and a po box and saying “bye bye forever” to mom for your own peace of mind.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 10:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.7   Tesselara

      I am so sorry, Hannah! My dad got into my e-mails once and found something where I called him an asshole. Given the fact that he used to hit me and kick me and call me a bitch, I think I was being gentle.

      His feelings were hurt. He came up to me with the equivalent of the melting eyes and quivering lip, and told me so. I said, “Well, so were mine. Why were you reading my e-mails?”

      Some parents are just bad.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 10:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.8   kermit

      Renee – Spoken like a true bitchy mother. Your mom must be so proud.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 10:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.9   Ace of Space

      I feel your pain Hannah. I had a mom just like this, and one by one, the 3 siblings ahead of me and my twin bailed. My mom spent the remaining years griping to the rest of us left behind how ungrateful the older ones were, how lucky we were to have her, etc. I left at 19 and never looked back.

      Unfortunately, a person tends to parent they way she was parented, so I totally expect send one of these cards one day. At least I warn my kids that I am crazy on a regular basis.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 11:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.10   Pit Pat

      I have such a hard time buying Mothers Day cards. I do give one to my mom, because I do love her, but it has to be a plain “Happy Mother’s Day” card, none of that you-were-always-there-for-me or my-mother-my-friend BS.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 11:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.11   featherblade

      @ace of space:

      You can choose how to parent your kids. Even if your mother parented one way, you can deliberately choose to parent differently.

      That’s what my mother did, and I suspect that we are happier, more well-adjusted people because of it.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 1:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.12   Judith

      Wow, Renee…after reading Hannah’s explanation below, you sure look like a bitter asshole…

      Apr 2, 2013 at 9:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   AshleyDee

    This makes me think Mom saw Hannah’s facebook… her real one.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 9:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Tracey

    Did Hannah’s mom bury the eggs and card in dirt? Her hands are filthy. Sorry, but it’s very distracting. Back on topic, they both sound like bitches.

    Apr 1, 2013 at 10:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Hannah

      Ha, it’s the HD function on my phone, combined with taking the photo in a dimly lit room.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 1:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Hannah

    As I said above, it’s the HD function on my phone, combined with taking the photo in a dimly lit room.

    My hands are pretty skinny and strange-looking, though :-)

    Apr 2, 2013 at 1:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Talia

      I’ve read the rest of the comment thread and I’m still unsure what happened. Hannah, why did your mother use quotations marks around “fucked up” and “nothing”? Is she quoting you or is she using them for emphasis? I suppose it’s possible that you are not, in fact, the OP, but I’m going to go ahead and assume that you are because that makes this easier.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 1:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Hannah

    In a nutshell: I broke the news to my parents on January 15th that my partner and I are moving abroad. After they left, my mother sent an abusive text (which we were expecting, as she has sent me abusive messages for the past 10 years or so) saying that I’m a bitch, c*nt, no daughter of her’s, and that she’s going to stop me from going, to which I replied with “stop fucking with my life.” (note, this is the first time I have replied to an abusive text in close to a decade)

    A bit of background information: my mother constantly fucks with my life for fun. She tells me that my partner is cheating on me, she rang up my place of working, swearing down the phone, saying “Where’s that fucking bitch, Hannah?” etc etc. She rang up another place of work anonymously, saying that I am on benefits, therefore working illegally, and that they should sack me. I have never been on benefits in my life.

    Anyway, in response to “stop fucking with my life,” I received 14 more abusive texts that I didn’t respond to, and then this card over 2 months later.

    Sorry, it’s a bit of an essay and very rambling.

    Apr 2, 2013 at 2:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Laura


      Move abroad. Right now. Super quick. And never look back!

      Apr 2, 2013 at 5:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   H for Toy

      Have you considered having mommy dearest committed? There are moms who can guilt trip, and controlling moms, but your mom sounds like she needs a professional diagnosis.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 6:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   Hannah

      Unfortunately the psychopath gene has been handed down to my 21 year old brother as well. They are both as bad as each other, and the main reason why we are moving far, far away from them!

      Apr 2, 2013 at 7:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   KD

      My exbf’s mother was like that. She was a total sociopath and took great delight in whatever misery she could cause, then always played like she was completely innocent of any wrongdoing. When I broke up with him (for unrelated reasons) I had to change my phone #, move, and warn my work about her. She didn’t care in the least about him, but sure did like playing the wounded party.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 8:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.5   North!

      Hannah, I have a kid the same age as yourself. I would never do say or write something like to my kid. So please give yourself a big hug. And then an extra one for recognizing that it’s your mother that has a problem not you and for using humor to help deal with it. Your mother may be nuts but I think you’ll do just fine.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 9:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.6   Ace of Space

      Run, Hannah, Run.

      Damn, I’m a saint compared to your mom.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 11:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.7   Rattus

      Hannah, I wrote my mother a “Dear John” letter when I was twenty three. I’m turning fifty three in a couple of weeks and I can quite categorically say that the very best thing I have ever done for myself is remove that particular toxin from my life.

      Those with a policy of family above all else are either lucky or deluded.

      Apr 3, 2013 at 6:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.8   HaydenT

      Please, if you do anything, please check out You are not alone, you are not crazy, and you do NOT deserve how she treats you!

      Reading this website is what finally got me to move on from the idea that my mother and I could have that kind of relationship you see on TV.

      Good luck abroad!!!

      Apr 3, 2013 at 9:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   The Elf

    I’m feeling a deep urge to call up my Mom and just say “Thanks”.

    Wow, Hannah, I am sorry you had to grow up with that.

    Apr 2, 2013 at 7:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Jami

    Dear Hannah’s mother and brother,

    Get help you psychos.

    BTW – Are you any relation to wedding hater Andrew? Because you sound just as bat sh*t crazy as him.


    Hannah, out of curiosity, does your kookoo mom have a substance abuse problem? I ask because the phone call to work sound a lot like what my brother Todd used to do when he was drinking. He was always threatening to get dad or me fired from our jobs whenever he was drunk.

    Apr 2, 2013 at 7:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Hannah

      Nope, no substance abuse problem. Her latest trick is trying to get us evicted out of our rented accomodation by harrassing our landlord. You’d think we talk all the time and I provoke her into doing these things but it is completely out of the blue :-(

      Apr 2, 2013 at 8:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   Jami

      You know what? Get a restraining order at this point so she can’t talk to you without possibly going to jail. Long enough that you can move without stress. Because that woman sounds like any day she could come after you with something deadlier than words.

      I’m sorry you have to go through this. Children, even as adults, should get love and support from their parents. (Unless the child is someone who’s Ted Bundy psycho. Then the parents should cut off all ties and tell the little serial killer to do the world a favor and cut their own throat.)

      Apr 2, 2013 at 10:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Newbie

    Whatever you do, don’t eat the eggs!!!

    Apr 2, 2013 at 10:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   redheadwglasses

    It’s kind of difficult (and pointless) to come up with a funny response after reading Hannah’s posts here. Hannah, your sense of humor about all of this drama is awesome. Seriously.

    Apr 2, 2013 at 11:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   Imalia

    This sounds like something my mother would do, if she knew where I lived. 11 kids and not one of us still lived at home on our 17th birthdays, and 17 years after I left only two of my siblings have any contact with her at all.

    Some women shouldn’t be mothers.

    Apr 2, 2013 at 12:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Tard

    I dusted my mother from my life AT my father’s funeral! At the end, I just shook her hand and said “The only person I care about in this family is gone, goodbye”.
    Haven’t see nor heard from her or my 3 bitch sisters in 20 blissful years, except a note saying I was cut out of the will. (duh, mom, duh).

    Apr 2, 2013 at 4:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Hannah

    Thank you, everyone. Next year, I will be two countries away from them both, and hopefully lead a somewhat normal life without living in fear of someone getting me fired, puncturing my car tyres, losing my home, or worse.

    Apr 2, 2013 at 5:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   H for Toy

      I hope they’re big countries! Good luck starting your new life. We’re all behind you :)

      Apr 2, 2013 at 6:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.2   Jami

      I repeat – restraining order.

      Had to do it to my brother Todd when he was drinking and even though Mark lives in another state, we’ve considered doing it to him as well.

      It’s not much, but then you can get the police on their ass any time they harass you.

      Apr 2, 2013 at 8:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.3   kbee

      Hannah, it doesn’t stop. I live across the globe from my mother, and the petulant childishness follows through via email, Facebook and Skype.

      Hopefully, though, you’ll make the move and she’ll not have these ways of following you. ;)

      Apr 4, 2013 at 4:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   Lisa

    Sounds like my nephew’s mother in 10 years.

    Apr 2, 2013 at 6:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   Ajax

    At least Hannah’s mom sent her an Easter card. Just think how many mothers cannot manage even that small gesture.

    Apr 2, 2013 at 6:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   The Elf

      It’s the kind of motherly gesture daughters could do without.

      Apr 3, 2013 at 7:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   patrick

    omg.. Hannah .. your mom needs to get a life..damn.. shes jealous… yeah… move far away and never look back… that’s just crazy…

    Apr 2, 2013 at 7:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   havingfitz

    Mine was an abusive drunk, and I don’t just mean physically abusive. She’s the reason my younger brother spent chunks of his childhood in psychiatric facilities as the little boy that he was tried to cope with everything that had happened in our lives. As an adult, he still chooses to visit her and maintain a relationship. I haven’t seen her since I was 14 and it’ll be a cold day in hell before I ever voluntarily do so. It’s really too bad that that the ability to breed doesn’t come with the requirement of a soul or a conscience. There are lots of fantastic mothers out there, but a toxic one can keep hurting you long after you’re run for your life.

    Apr 2, 2013 at 9:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   rebajea

    or maybe it was a joke? you all sure bring a lot of stuff to the table here, don’t you.

    Apr 3, 2013 at 9:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Tom

      Or maybe the original poster came in and explained the note. Even if she’s not “real”, toxic parents are a serious problem for many people and are a worthy topic of discussion.

      Apr 3, 2013 at 2:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   kbee

    I’m with the submitter. Regardless of history, a mature adult wouldn’t act like that. Heat of the moment doesn’t apply when someone takes the effort to go get a card, a gift, sit down, write a note, stick it in an envelope, go to the post office/deliver it. That’s just intent all the way through to be a bitch.

    Next time, just don’t send a gift at all and save yourself the cash. Good for you Hannah for finding the humor – and seriousness (HURRY AND MOVE!) – in this.

    Apr 4, 2013 at 4:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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