Not to name names, but…

April 11th, 2013 · 32 comments

Seriously, Jay?

Today we had a situation where someone ate the center of 40-50 chic-fil-a- minis and left the bread. Please realize we don't want the bread you dug through. Feel free to either eat the bread or throw the bread away. This will help us all live together. Please read the following rules of functioning in a society. It may help.

related: S is for Sibling Rivalry

FILED UNDER: food · message to all intended for one · most popular notes of 2013 · office · public shaming

32 responses so far ↓

  • #1   kingbuzzie

    Those mini centers were fucking delicious! Ha ha I so witty.

    Apr 11, 2013 at 10:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Lythande bang

    Come now, have some sympathy. He must be stuffed after eating 45 mini chicken patties. Asking him to eat 45 buns as well is just inhumane.

    Apr 11, 2013 at 10:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   blade

    Eating everything I touch at work? Hmm. Anyone know a good recipe for computer keyboards?

    Apr 11, 2013 at 10:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Nope

      Add 1 cup of dust, 2 cups of random food crumbs, 1/2 cup of dead skin cells, 1/4 cup of misc things found under keys and mix well. Mmmmm tastes like delicious nasty plastic….or something.

      Apr 12, 2013 at 2:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Brandon

      Throw them our instead of trying to control Jay’s behavior. Separating food might help too. This is not rocket science, but it’s taken me a half crntury to learn.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 2:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   timimus

    There simply aren’t enough passive-aggressive acrostics. My thanks to the author for their contribution.

    Apr 11, 2013 at 10:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Mel

      This. I have to write a note to my Big Boss next week asking him to overturn some bad decisions made by my Ex-Under-Boss (who’s just been fired). I think I’m going to list all of those bad decisions in an acrostic of Ex-Under-Boss’s name.

      Apr 12, 2013 at 5:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   M L

    From whence came so many chick’n'minis?

    Is this a roommate or an office situation, or both? Co-op maybe?

    How came it to be that Mr. Parker was able to pilfer, not one or two, but 40-50 nuggets without anyone noticing? Or did he perhaps purchase them himself? In which case, who is the notewriter?

    Is Mr. Parker secretly on the atkins diet?

    Is Chic-Fil-A really as diabolically delicious as Americans say it is?

    So many unanswered questions.

    Apr 11, 2013 at 10:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   SeeYouInTea

      Chic-Fil-A’s ethics are terrible, but damn they have good chicken tenders. Only second to Zaxby’s.

      Apr 11, 2013 at 10:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   wait...what?

      yes Chik-Fil-A is fucking delicious. Wish we had them in Oregon. Everytime I go back to Atlanta, I stop there first and then hit the Krystal. Yum Yum.

      Apr 11, 2013 at 10:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   Rachel

      FIHIIS? I don’t get it.

      Apr 12, 2013 at 12:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   Lil'

      Their ethics aren’t terrible, and their nuggets are awesome. I wish they would hurry up and offer spicy nuggets. What are they waiting for??

      Apr 12, 2013 at 12:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.5   Sorcha

      There used to be Chik Fil A’s in Portland, but the last one closed about 12 years ago. There are rumors of one opening in Tualatin. We’re going on vacation to Virginia, where I’m from, this summer, and my son is counting down to the days when he can once again enjoy Chik Fil A.

      Apr 12, 2013 at 7:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.6   feelinpapal

      Ew @ you, Lil’. “Their ethics aren’t terrible, and their nuggets are awesome.”

      Did you miss this whole thing or do you just like supporting companies that are against equal rights?

      Apr 12, 2013 at 10:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.7   Risha

      I suppose that depends on your particular ethics, Lil’. Chick-fil-A’ proudly donates heavily to anti-gay hate groups. Even if I did eat chicken (I’m a meat eater, I just find the stuff disgusting), they’d be on my “never give those assholes money by eating there” list alongside Maurice’s BBQ.

      Apr 14, 2013 at 3:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   orogomait

    Eating that many little chicken patties would make me vomit. In fact, not even sure if they would all fit in my stomach.

    Apr 12, 2013 at 4:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Attila the Nun

    There is only one proper way to respond to this note: cutting the middle third out, taking it, and leaving the rest.

    Apr 12, 2013 at 8:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Jami

    Ew. I hate it when people do that.

    I used to have a coworker until she finally retired who had a thing for eating just a bite of some sort of communal food and putting the rest back in with the others. If people bought those little individuality wrapped candy bars, she’d open one, eat half, put the rest back in the dish. One time I brought homemade bread already sliced. She took a bite out of a slice, and put the rest back with the other slices.

    In her case though I was seeing signs of senility. She couldn’t remember things that were just told to her a moment ago. Couldn’t remember how to do things we’ve been doing for years. And sometimes would get angry for no reason. Like the time I told her that the manager wanted whomever started a library card to finish it. (Sometimes we do “quick and dirty” ones – just enter the name & password and fill in the rest later.) And she stood there and kept saying in an irritated voice “I thought you were suppose to finish them.” (I’m just a clerk, she was a librarian.)

    I wonder though if Jay actually ate the chicken or if he just threw the meat away in some sort of protest. Either against Chick-A-Fila or against meat eaters.

    I wish Chick-A-Fila would be more open minded. They’re the only fast food I can eat without getting ill.

    Oh well, I prefer the chicken from Hooters anyway.

    Apr 12, 2013 at 11:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Laura

    It really pisses me off that I refuse to eat at Chik-fil-a because of the owner’s willingness to take the money I’ve spent there and put it towards causes I am vehemently opposed to, because they really ARE delicious.

    That said, Jay was kind of a jerk. Not to mention a rather major pig. Really, 40-50 mini centers? That’s a whole lotta mini centers. Next time, Jay, if you’re going to stuff yourself, try eating 20-25 whole minis. Your office may hate you, but at least it’ll be for a different reason.

    Apr 12, 2013 at 1:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Ann

    I am not familiar with these so-called minis, but that sounds like a lot. The smallest unit of chicken-styled product that I can think of is the “nugget,” and 40-50 nuggets is way more nuggets than an adult needs.

    Apr 12, 2013 at 3:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   H for Toy

      I think they are nuggets, and yeah, 40-50 of anything, except maybe Reese’s Pieces, is excessive.

      Apr 12, 2013 at 5:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Jami

      No. If they have buns they’d have to be slider size.

      Apr 12, 2013 at 10:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   H for Toy

      Apparently chik-fil-a can make really tiny rolls, Jami. Here’s the description. It says they’re nuggets. I have never seen them in person though.

      “Bite-sized Chick-fil-A® Nuggets nestled in warm, mouth-watering mini yeast rolls that are lightly coated with honey butter spread.”

      I would also like to add that the rolls sound yummy. Why would you leave them behind to shove way too many nuggets in your face?

      Apr 13, 2013 at 7:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Lil'

      The rolls are incredible but only until they get cold. He probably left them because they sat for a while. I pick them up on my way to work, but pretty often I end up eating just the nuggets.

      Apr 13, 2013 at 8:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   Jami

      Okay, so I was wrong. I try not to eat CFA. My parents do sometimes and will bring it home. Or, because they know I get ill every single time I eat Subway, they’ll bring me something from there when they get Subway. I feel horrible guilt every time but I don’t want to get into a fight with my parents either. So I choke it down.

      So in conculsion, not overly familiar with their menu as I try not to step foot into the place.

      Apr 14, 2013 at 3:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.6   H for Toy

      I’m not familiar with the menu, because I’ve never been to one, so I had to look it up and find out if Jay was overeating or REALLY overeating. On a side note, Rufus Sewell would never eat the chicken and leave the bread.

      Apr 14, 2013 at 10:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   pooham

    How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Chic-Fil-A mini? ^ovo^

    Apr 12, 2013 at 4:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Lara

      His nose went a little wonky, but I am adoring your tiny owl!

      Apr 16, 2013 at 2:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   NonnyMus

    Even if there is one ounce of meat in the mini’s, 40 – 50 minis are made of 2.5 – 3.125 POUNDS of chicken. Maybe Jay is morbidly obese and so took the blame, but I’m thinking there were several pickers and leavers.

    Apr 13, 2013 at 8:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Tard

    In today’s litigious world, Jay Parker could sue and win for them fostering a negative workplace environment. Even if he’s guilty.

    Apr 13, 2013 at 3:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   makfan bang

    So if you should avoid touching open food, how are you supposed to throw away the bun?

    Apr 17, 2013 at 9:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Kittymama

    The honey-butter chicken biscuit at Whataburger is freaking amazing. Yet another fast-food place that is nowhere near too many of you. You’re welcome.

    Apr 22, 2013 at 10:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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