How many roommates does it take to change a light bulb?

April 14th, 2013 · 65 comments

It’s stuff like this that makes me remember why I live alone…

How many Marks and Kirks does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: It takes Will and Jenni. How many Wills and Jennis does it take to buy household items (ex: Toilet Paper/paper towels/dish soap/chips/soda/lightbulbs/trash bags/etc)? Answer? None, because Mark buys all that stuff with money from his own pocket. Maybe if Will and Jenni spent more money on others, rather than just on themselves, this kind of thing wouldn't happen.

related: The Toilet Paper Manifesto

FILED UNDER: Facebook · oh snap · roommates

65 responses so far ↓

  • #1   onlittlecatfeet

    Will and Jenni sound horrible.

    Apr 14, 2013 at 3:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Amelia

      Seconded. Also I’m really amused that these people consider chips and soda essential household items along the same lines as toilet paper.

      Apr 14, 2013 at 3:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   kathlynn

      I consider pop an essential house hold item, right along with my chocolate milk (I hate drinking anything else, though I some times drink a certain type of bottled water. My taste buds are stupidly annoying and picky)

      Apr 14, 2013 at 6:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Espernea

      I hate roommates, sometimes. Currently I live with family, which is fine because they would never do something hurt me intentionally and I can get over most annoyances.

      But… the worst is people who decide they own the space and do not have to be considerate to the person renting the space with them. I had a roommate who ate my food, threw my laundry out of the washer because “it was her turn” (even though she demanded Sundays be her day and it was Monday.)
      I could go on and on about how horrible this girl was. But I bet she was a lot like Jenni and Will–never buying anything.

      She also pulled the “but we do the dishes.” Well, no one asked you to do my dishes. And you should do your own dishes regardless.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 11:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Kore

    Maybe they wipe their asses with Doritos?

    Apr 14, 2013 at 3:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   >^. .^

      You don’t?

      Apr 14, 2013 at 4:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   The Elf

      That’s how the Ranch gets Cool.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 7:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   H for Toy

      Here I thought Cool Ranch was the kind people used for hemorrhoids.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 12:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   Crystal

      They use 3 Doritos. The predecessor to 3 seashells.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 1:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   The Elf

      You use Nacho Cheese, H? But what about all that orange dorito dust?

      Apr 15, 2013 at 1:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   Lil'

      Tostitos Scoops.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 2:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   H for Toy

      That explains it, Elf. I’ve been using the store brand, because they had less flavoring, but I’m glad to know I can go back to the Doritos I love, without that orange mess!

      Apr 15, 2013 at 3:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.8   jdaniel

      I excrete bonbons.

      Apr 17, 2013 at 4:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Eileen

    I notice that Kirk has stayed out of it. Guys, if you’re gonna have an argument over household expenditures, don’t post it on Facebook where everyone can see your personal business. Really.

    Apr 14, 2013 at 3:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   H for Toy

      Logic, maturity, self-respect? What kind of website do you think we have here?

      Apr 14, 2013 at 10:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Tard

    Having roommates is a rite of passage every young person should experience. Once. ONCE!

    Apr 14, 2013 at 5:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Melody

    I have been there. My old roommate was awful. I remember one day he told me he wasn’t going to pay the electric bill or the internet bill because he had bought booze instead.
    When he first moved in he left his laundry in front of my door. He legitimately thought I would wash it for him.
    I moved out as soon as the lease was over. And I live alone now.

    Apr 14, 2013 at 5:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   The Elf

      Legitimately? How many times did you wash his draws for him that he thought it would be a legitimate request?

      Apr 15, 2013 at 7:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Raichu

      Apparently none, if he left it on the first day.

      Melody, that sounds horrific 0_____o

      Apr 15, 2013 at 7:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   kermit

      Elf, Melody is presumably female. Every guy knows that you need lady parts to operate a washing machine.

      Otherwise they’d have to read instructions to know which knobs to twist on the thing, and that’s…so girly and stuff.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 11:19 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #6   mouse

    All of these people seem terrible to live with.

    Apr 14, 2013 at 5:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   kathlynn

    sounds like a version of what I went through when I moved out with some people I worked with. I was the responsible person, who got illegally evicted by my roommates because person ‘a’ didn’t have a back bone in his body (still friends with him) and person ‘c’ was sleeping with person ‘d’.
    I decided to follow the “eviction” because I was tired of the arguing. (I was tired of blaring music, people being short on rent, and throwing a hissy-fit because I closed a blind, and having ‘b’ and ‘c’s dogs wreck my stuff)

    Apr 14, 2013 at 6:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   L

    I, um, have changed one lightbulb in our house. I can’t actually reach any but the one in the bathroom XD Even standing on a chair.

    Apr 14, 2013 at 9:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Elf

      They make stepladders for a reason.

      I’m tall, but most of my ceiling lights are out of my reach too. I suspect they’d be out of reach for anyone who doesn’t play for the NBA. Hence, the stepladder.

      Sorry, the only excuse for not changing a bulb within minutes of it burning out is if you don’t actually have a light bulb on hand. It’s a five minute job, tops.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 7:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   H for Toy

      Five minutes, plus lugging that stupid heavy wooden ladder up the basement steps, then putting it back again. I’m glad that in this house, I can reach all of our lightbulbs either on tiptoes, or with a chair.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 7:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   redheadwglasses

      Or you buy, for not a lot of money, a sturdy but lightweight aluminum ladder for such purposes. I’ve had mine through three residences now in almost 20 years.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 9:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   H for Toy

      We have a fiberglass one, because it’s used outside most of the time. I can reach all the lightbulbs without a ladder in this house, though. I was just thinking about a previous rental, and letting my bitterness show. Don’t mind me :)

      Apr 15, 2013 at 11:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.5   Madrias

      I’ve changed 5 bulbs at home. 2 standard screw-type, one night-light bulb, and a set of 48″ tubes. I’ll say this: changing tubes isn’t fun, but you only ever seem to have to do it 5 years apart. Just long enough to forget how awful it is.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 12:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.6   pooham

      I broke one of the tubes when I was changing them in my last house. What a mess! Of course it was in the kitchen. The worst part was that it was after 11PM and I had to be at work by 7AM, including waking up the kids, getting them ready and dropping them off at school beforehand. I had stayed up late finished up the laundry. I believe I got a little more than 4 hours sleep that night.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 4:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.7   L

      @The Elf I make part-time minimum wage and don’t have a car. We buy those swirly lightbulbs so they don’t need to be changed more than like once a year if that. I’m pretty sure there are a few in our house we’ve never changed in the entire time we’ve lived here. Also all our lights have covers that need to be screwed off before you put the bulb in so you really need someone to hold the light cover/other bulb because otherwise you’re juggling a light cover (some of which are actually very awkward) and two lightbulbs. You need two people anyways. Isn’t it more logical to have the taller person who doesn’t care standing on the chair than it is to buy a ladder you don’t have money for and carry it half an mile for something you do once a year?

      Apr 15, 2013 at 9:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   H for Toy

    How many Facebook comments will it take before everyone looks up from their smartphones and an all-out brawl happens in the living room?

    Apr 14, 2013 at 10:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Brian H

    I had several roommates when I was younger and I don’t remember ever fighting over BS stuff like toilet paper. I guess I was partly lucky. My roommates would use some stuff but it always worked out in the end I suppose. I mean I got peanut butter in a 5lb tub so it’s hard not to share it. I always made extra food, I always liked cooking so sharing it was just being nice or human. I’m sure I wasn’t perfect too.

    Apr 15, 2013 at 5:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   kermit

      5lb tub of peanut butter?

      Brian, are you sure you’re not confusing your room-mates with your army buddies that time you worked in the mess hall?

      Apr 15, 2013 at 11:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Brian H

      LOL no, I shopped at COSTCO at times hence the 5lb tub of peanut butter.

      And I only had to do one day of KP in Basic Training.

      Apr 16, 2013 at 8:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Dane Zeller

    I had a roommate one time who farted throughout the night. I mentioned it to him one morning, but all he had to say was, “tough sh*t.” Actually, he was one of my better cellmates.

    Apr 15, 2013 at 7:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   sushimama

      You expected him to… apologize for farting while he was asleep? Control himself better? Put a cork in it so as not to offend your delicate sensibilities?

      Apr 15, 2013 at 8:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Espernea

      Really? Farting is a huge problem for you?
      My roommate was two sizes bigger than me and borrowed some of my nice work clothes and stretched them out or ripped them.

      Apr 15, 2013 at 10:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Beatus Mongous

      Cellmate. CELLMATE! Doesn’t anybody read?

      Apr 15, 2013 at 7:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   Dane Zeller

      Thank you Beatus for your discerning eye.

      Apr 16, 2013 at 7:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   My name is Princess!

    Goodness! All that drama over a light bulb? What royal queens Will and Jenni are.

    Perhaps Mark and Kirk didn’t change the light bulb because they didn’t want to actually see Will and Jenni’s faces. I wouldn’t. Someone would have to post bail if I did.

    Apr 15, 2013 at 9:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Todd

    I had a roommate that used to hoard toilet paper because I “used too much”. Problem fixed when I started buying my own and doing the same.

    He also tried to get me to pay 55% (seriously) of the electric bill because I “used the heater too much”. Problem fixed when I reminded him that he didn’t have a job and was at home twice as often as me.

    Roommates are hell.

    Apr 15, 2013 at 11:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   pooham

      My sister’s tenant takes the toilet paper Every Time there is a roll in the bathroom. At least he only uses the downstairs one. We started joking that he might have an addiction to eating it!

      Apr 15, 2013 at 5:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   Brian H

      Yeah because it’s only cool to steal toilet paper from the college library.

      Apr 16, 2013 at 8:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   ding

    Roommates can be terrible. I had two who repeatedly ate my food without asking, were constantly behind in paying rent, frequently expected me to drive them somewhere then complained about where I parked or what route I took, and they never could be bothered to put gas in their own car. When my lease was up I walked away from there, whistling a joyful tune.

    Apr 15, 2013 at 12:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   pooham

    At least nobody used the phrase, “It is what it is.” I hate that phrase with my entire being.

    Apr 15, 2013 at 5:03 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      Why would anyone say that? The event already happened – it was what it was.

      Apr 16, 2013 at 10:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Beatus Mongous

    How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?


    The trick is getting them into the light bulb.

    Apr 15, 2013 at 6:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   broughton alum

    Went to high school with these kids. Obnoxious and in love with their facebooks.

    Apr 17, 2013 at 12:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Pixy

      Okay, we need stories. Are they all terrible? Evidence points to Will and Jenni being miserable, and I would assume Mark is as well, since responding to this in a public forum is almost as stupid as posting it to begin with. But is Kirk the voice of reason?

      Apr 17, 2013 at 9:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   A random voice of reason

      While this status and the comments reek of douchery, let’s not make personal attacks or announce what school they attended/are attending.

      Apr 17, 2013 at 6:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Jo

    How does one person getting coupons mean the other people don’t pay their share afterwards?

    Apr 17, 2013 at 8:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Nyssa

      I’m assuming they mean a staff discount (I could be wrong though). If that were true, the discount is likely to be about 10% and really doesn’t mean that Mike and Jenni should buy less ‘stuff’.

      Apr 23, 2013 at 2:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Jenni

    The funny thing is, all of you are making assumptions about people you don’t even know. You call Will and Jenni horrible people for making an innocent joke. Their roommate is the one who flipped out for no reason, probably being that he was the one who bought a 200 watt light bulb for a 50 watt outdoor light and felt REALLY STUPID for almost burning the apartment down. None of you know this apartment situation. I would really appreciate if this picture could be removed, as people are writing libel about us, when this was a private status that was IMMEDIATELY removed upon realization that the joke was misunderstood. Thank you.

    Apr 17, 2013 at 5:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   TheGnome

      So you knew he felt REALLY STUPID but you decided to make an “innocent” joke at his expense and are now mad that he didn’t take it well and that people online don’t think you’re the greatest person?

      If the goal here was to make yourself look better, you have failed.

      Apr 17, 2013 at 6:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   H for Toy

      If you’d like to sue, you can probably find a good lawyer the next note over.

      Apr 18, 2013 at 3:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.3   Yep

      All my private statuses are set to public, too. With the little globe indicating public and everything!

      Apr 25, 2013 at 8:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Jenni

    No. We were making a joke to lighten the situation. Ever heard of that? And I really don’t see why people think we’re terrible people for noticing a fire hazard and joking with our friend about it, like normal people often do? We tease each other all the time and had no idea when we made the status that Mark was upset about something else, thus causing him to take it out on us.

    Please, stick to criticizing people you actually know.

    Apr 17, 2013 at 7:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   TheGnome

      A joke to lighten the situation at his expense. Yeah, you’ll excuse me if I think your condescending posts here aren’t helping your case any. Go buy some toilet paper or something, your friend clearly doesn’t appreciate you leeching off him. Normal people do nice things for their friends, right :D?

      Apr 18, 2013 at 1:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   redheadwglasses

      Or maybe you should post a note that’s actually relevant to the situation then. Because your follow up posts here paint a very different picture.

      But the first posters were right. You sound pretty awful.

      Apr 18, 2013 at 1:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   Brian

      This must be your first day on the internet if you think that’s going to happen.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 12:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.4   Madrias

      Simple word of future advice: Never post anything online that you don’t want being spread around, kept in a secret file, or shown to a future boss. It can and will happen. Deleting it on Facebook doesn’t delete it from people’s drives if they screen-capped it.

      Apr 21, 2013 at 6:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.5   The Elf

      Further, if it was a private facebook status, the number of people who could have seen it and sent it to here would be limited by who has viewing privileges to Will’s page. Look to his “friends”, Jenni.

      Apr 23, 2013 at 6:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   Gordon

    Is this loser seriously trying to bitch out the internet for dumb comments her friend made that everyone could see? That makes my week!

    Apr 17, 2013 at 7:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   redheadwglasses

      ITA, Gordon. And some of what she said doesn’t even make sense. Her posts aren’t very clear. It’s cute when low IQers enjoy the net with the rest of us.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 7:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   ramsay

    Calm down. Take it in stride honey, right now you’re as famous as you’ll ever be!

    Apr 17, 2013 at 7:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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