The naked truth

April 18th, 2013 · 56 comments

Writes Nick in New York: “Those of you who have ever lived alone will remember the feeling of liberation and wild abandon that comes with getting your first solo space after a lifetime of family and crazy roommates.”

He continues: ”Unfortunately, I’ve got neighbors across a very narrow alley (about 6 feet across) and all our windows face each other. When I first moved in I noticed their shades were always down so I carried on with the kinds of things mid-20s guys do when they live alone. I have no idea what they had an opportunity to see, but it was enough to inspire them to post this note on all three windows. Whoops?”

To The New Neighbor Dear Neighbor: Welcome to the building. Given the close proximity of our windows and out of respect for each others' privacy, we would ask that you please pull your shade down to a reasonable height. Thank you.

related: Buy curtains. Please.

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · neighbors · New York


56 responses so far ↓

  • #1   H for Toy

    That Swan Lake solo was a bit much.

    Apr 18, 2013 at 6:42 pm   rating: 74  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Elf

      Yeah. He should have stuck with the Nutcracker.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 12:48 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   H for Toy

      That’s the one they do in tight jeans, right?

      Apr 19, 2013 at 3:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Nunavut Guy

      Like you don’t have it on video.

      Apr 20, 2013 at 2:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   H for Toy

      Does two videos make a collection? Cuz I also have that one you sent me of you doing pliés in the pink tutu.

      Apr 20, 2013 at 8:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Nunavut Guy

      It’s a man dress…….and it was southern coral.

      Apr 20, 2013 at 9:00 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   H for Toy

      If anyone wondered what Nunavut Guy looks like…
      http: // 3.bp.blogspot.com/- VMIlbKxmD1U/T4GMsgc7ykI/AAAAAAAAFpQ/DZGd1ea6vDM/s1600/Pink+plaid.jpg

      Apr 20, 2013 at 11:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Nunavut Guy

      Cold.

      Apr 21, 2013 at 8:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Nunavut Guy

      Cold but touche.

      Apr 21, 2013 at 8:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   Jami

      H, the URL isn’t working for me. :-(

      Apr 21, 2013 at 1:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   H for Toy

      You have to copy and paste and take the spaces out, because I rebelled and didn’t want to wait for authorization on an actual URL. :)

      Apr 21, 2013 at 2:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Nunavut Guy

      Damn.Them bells is killing me.

      Apr 21, 2013 at 6:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   H for Toy

      Jami, hopefully you can see the whole address to be able to copy and paste it. It’s worth the look ;)

      http:// 3.bp.blogspot.com/-VMIlbKxmD1U/ T4GMsgc7ykI/ AAAAAAAAFpQ/DZGd1ea6vDM/s1600/ Pink+plaid.jpg

      Apr 22, 2013 at 9:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.13   Jami

      I managed to get it. It was so off to the side for me in the original I couldn’t highlight and copy it.

      Apr 22, 2013 at 12:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Joanne M.

    We were looking in your window and it was just so enticing that we couldn’t stop. Save us from ourselves, please!

    Apr 18, 2013 at 6:43 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   A.

      I’ve always been of the camp that if you don’t want to know what I’m up to, don’t look in my windows. But, when our windows are six feet apart, sometimes you can’t really help seeing something you didn’t want to.

      Apr 18, 2013 at 6:57 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Amber

    Dear Nick: Install a pull-up bar across one window and work out on it daily. Naked. :P

    Apr 18, 2013 at 6:53 pm   rating: 50  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   AuntyBron

      Wearing a modesty sock. Problem solved.

      Apr 18, 2013 at 7:03 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   redheadwglasses

      Preferably one onto which you’ve sewn googly eyes, for a cute “puppet” look.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 7:54 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   A.

    Is anyone else reminded of the Roseanne episode with the old, naked neighbors? Or am I just too old for the internet?

    Apr 18, 2013 at 6:58 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Wench

      Or the ‘Friends’ naked neighbor…..

      Apr 18, 2013 at 8:30 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Succubus' sister-in-law

      No, A… you are not too old. Did you know the neighbor lady was played by Ron Howard’s mother?

      Apr 19, 2013 at 11:30 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   lala

    “reasonable height” = low enough to just show his junk and nothing else.

    Apr 18, 2013 at 6:59 pm   rating: 97  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   The Elf

      Yeah, like some deranged peep show window.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 9:00 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Nunavut Guy

      Or high enough.

      Apr 20, 2013 at 8:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   f2point8

    One way shades?

    Apr 18, 2013 at 7:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   jdaniel

    Write a note and tape it facing their windows, saying: “Dear Neighbor: I’m BUTT NAKED, BUTT NAKED, BUTT NAKED!

    Apr 18, 2013 at 8:29 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Roto13

    Pfft. At my apartment, I do what I want, when I want, as often and as vigorously as I want.

    Apr 18, 2013 at 9:03 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Nunavut Guy

      Moue to the rest of the world.

      Apr 20, 2013 at 12:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Amelia

    Surely only one apartment’s shades need to be pulled down? Having both sides pull down their shades seems like overkill.

    Apr 18, 2013 at 9:46 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Whaaaaat

      I think the idea is, if he’s pumping love juice into a sock monkey, maybe pull his shades down. I’m sure they want to let some light in once in awhile, no need for shades to be drawn 24/7 on either side. Just for private activities.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 2:48 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Iwill FindU

      That was my first thought as to something a 20something year old guy would do in his own place. So yeah the shades need to be pulled for that. That and female company please.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 12:27 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Beatus Mongous

      I like to watch.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 12:44 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Tom

      Is is just me, or does anybody else find the term “pumping love juice” to be much more disgusting than just saying “masturbating”?

      Apr 19, 2013 at 2:26 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Jami

      Or get some nice dark window tint. We got some at work that’s so dark on the outside that it’s like one of those one way mirrors. You can’t see in, but you can see out.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 2:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Dane Zeller

    Wouldn’t one set of shades do the trick?

    Apr 19, 2013 at 8:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Raichu

      The neighbors aren’t obligated to keep their shades down 24/7.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 10:41 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Beatus Mongous

      Yes, it would. Although he should be mindful of what may offend others, the neighbors still have the power to turn the offense away by closing their shades at that time. Both parties need to be more responsible.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 12:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   The Elf

      Depends on the relative attractiveness of the neighbor in question. Sometimes you want to double-shade, just to be on the safe side.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 12:49 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   J

      What about other people walking down the alley?

      Apr 19, 2013 at 1:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Iwill FindU

      What has already been seen can not be unseen.

      Apr 20, 2013 at 9:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   miss x

    be more private with yourself!

    Apr 19, 2013 at 9:52 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Raichu

    Team note-writer. Kind of silly to assume that they’re going to keep their shades down all the time for HIS privacy. He needs to pull his shades down when he’s doing things that should not be seen by the public.

    Apr 19, 2013 at 10:43 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Rattus

      Or, if he doesn’t care what the public sees, maybe the public shouldn’t care either.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 10:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Beatus Mongous

      I disagree with the note writer because he says “please pull your shade down to a reasonable height,” but never specifies when or why. Is the note writer assuming that Nick will keep his shade that way all the time? Should Nick never be allowed to open his shades just in case the neighbor wants to open theirs?

      Apr 19, 2013 at 12:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   redheadwglasses

    I walk around naked in the mornings when I”m getting ready to go to work. I usually remember ot lower one specific set of blinds before I go to bed, but sometimes I forget. Sorry, neighbors behind me. Don’t look out your back window and into my kitchen window between 5:30 and 6:15 a.m., please.

    Apr 19, 2013 at 11:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Beatus Mongous

      That would probably be worth seeing.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 12:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   The Elf

      Just don’t wear your glasses. If you can’t see them, they can’t see you!

      Apr 19, 2013 at 12:52 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   redheadwglasses

      I have to drive past that house on my way home from work, and I recently looked past their house to the back of my house, and realized that I could see my kitchen window even from that vantage point. Yikes.

      I’d hate for that family to have an impressionable child and now I’ve messed with his head for life.

      Apr 19, 2013 at 3:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   kermit

      Meh, it’s high time children learn what naked adults look like – before nudie magazines set their expectations too high.

      Apr 20, 2013 at 2:56 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Rachel

    So when did this change from “funny (if not necessarily “passive-aggressive”) notes from pissed-off people” to “notes”?

    Apr 19, 2013 at 5:39 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Meme

      Tomatoe / tomahtow

      Apr 20, 2013 at 7:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Cat

    Could this be solved by using that weird frosted plastic film on the bottom half of the windows? Still lets in light, obstructs the view for the most part, but you can still see out if you’re standing up.
    Actually the note is fairly polite and reasonable and while maybe three was overkill, I can totally see their point, you’re basically just across their living room.

    Apr 19, 2013 at 6:06 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Qkat

    I have problems with Vitamin D and my doctor advised me that for proper absorption, I need more sunlight exposure. He said to stand naked in front of my window for 6 minutes daily. Three minutes front and three minutes back.

    Doctor’s orders.

    Apr 20, 2013 at 11:41 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Beatus Mongous

      Pics or it didn’t happen.

      Apr 22, 2013 at 1:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Matilda

    I lived in a boarding school for a year, were we werent allowed to pull up the blinds. (Their reasoning were that someone might look in, and get tempted to steal.)
    It was incredibly depressing. No way would I ever go trough that again. If you on´t want to look, then don´t. Simple

    Apr 20, 2013 at 5:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     

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