An eye for an eye, I understand. But a flower for joint inflammation?
(Thanks to Sandra in Los Angeles for submitting!)
related: No, He uses Vaseline.
FILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · God · Los Angeles · stealing
Eh. Better than a pillar of salt, I guess.
Apr 21, 2013 at 12:52 am rating: 9
Well, makes sense. If your joints hurt too much you can no longer have the grip needed for stealing flowers.
Apr 21, 2013 at 12:59 am rating: 22
Somehow this reminds me of the kind of dialog you hear from those card based role playing games: “You played your Stealth-Stealing Sunflowers card , I smite you with my Ancient Arthritis of Doom.”
Apr 21, 2013 at 2:01 am rating: 44
a lot of nerds here apparently
Apr 21, 2013 at 3:37 pm rating: 7
There anything wrong with us nerds, pal?
Apr 21, 2013 at 6:34 pm rating: 6
It *is* the Internet, after all. Did you expect the nerds to go away once the cool kids figured out how to use it? Besides, with a gamer reference, the correct slang is “geek”. If you’re gonna insult someone, do it right.
*plays Enchanted Bunny*
Apr 21, 2013 at 6:56 pm rating: 19
Personally I went with Pokemon in my head because of Sunflora, the Pokemon that looks like a sunflower.
Hey! Maybe that’s what this is all about! Maybe the person the note’s addressed to is a Pokemon thief. Hard to grip a Pokeball when you’ve got arthritis.
Apr 23, 2013 at 10:38 am rating: 2
Actually, this is just an example of incredible foresight on the part of the thief! Somehow she/he knew that she/he would be smitten with arthritis, and thus stole flowers that she/he would not need to bend over to appreciate!
Apr 21, 2013 at 8:04 am rating: 1
Not sure;the question mark implies that they are not sure who stole the flowers.
Apr 21, 2013 at 8:23 am rating: 2
I like this sliding scale idea. Steal sunflowers, get arthritis. Probably if you just covet them, you get a mild case of eczema or something.
Apr 21, 2013 at 9:06 am rating: 36
Hey if you are going to believe in an imaginary friend you might as well give him/her lots of really cool abilities.
Apr 22, 2013 at 2:15 am rating: 5
I had a telepathic imaginary friend when I was a kid……this really has nothing to do with anything.
Apr 22, 2013 at 12:17 pm rating: 4
Ace of Space
Well, we all know that the wages of sin is death, but I wonder what stealing a car would have gotten?
Apr 21, 2013 at 9:35 am rating: 3
Apr 21, 2013 at 1:12 pm rating: 10
Apr 21, 2013 at 6:37 pm rating: 3
Olestra-style anal leakage.
Apr 21, 2013 at 6:51 pm rating: 11
Apr 21, 2013 at 7:02 pm rating: 4
I’m having too much fun with this.
Apr 21, 2013 at 8:00 pm rating: 3
H for Toy
Apr 21, 2013 at 9:01 pm rating: 2
Excessively sweaty armpits.
Apr 21, 2013 at 10:57 pm rating: 3
H for Toy
Numbness in the extremities.
Apr 22, 2013 at 6:18 am rating: 3
Apr 22, 2013 at 7:55 am rating: 4
H for Toy
Apr 22, 2013 at 9:32 am rating: 3
Mind numblingly painful constipation followed hours later by explosive diarrhea.
Apr 22, 2013 at 10:17 am rating: 7
Damn Jami, that’s a hell of a curse!
Apr 22, 2013 at 4:40 pm rating: 2
H for Toy
Now, is this a one-time thing, Jami, or is it a choice between 5 years in prison, or 5 years of the constipation/diarrhea combo?
Apr 23, 2013 at 11:49 am rating: 1
Choice been prison or a lifetime of what is basically IBS. MAWHAHAHAHAHA!
Apr 23, 2013 at 1:29 pm rating: 0
H for Toy
If I ever steal a car, I am going straight to prison!
Apr 23, 2013 at 1:51 pm rating: 1
If this was Yuuka Kazami, then she would have tracked the thief down and punished them.
Apr 21, 2013 at 11:07 am rating: 0
Love that it’s dated. Just in case there are future notes and they need a way to specify which vandal the note is for.
Apr 21, 2013 at 3:49 pm rating: 5
That unfilled last exclamation mark is driving me cray. Write one PAN at a time and make it a masterpiece!
Apr 21, 2013 at 4:34 pm rating: 1
Is that supposed to be a Jesus fish at the end of the note?
Apr 21, 2013 at 4:40 pm rating: 5
I think so. Maybe they want to convey that age old message “Jesus loves you, the rest of the world thinks you’re an ass”
Apr 21, 2013 at 4:48 pm rating: 8
Yes, it’s an Ichthys.
Apr 21, 2013 at 5:31 pm rating: 1
Hey, eczema is nothing to sneeze at.
Apr 21, 2013 at 5:27 pm rating: 1
Sneezing! Wouldn’t “You stole my sunflowers, God punishes you with hayfever” have made much more sense?
Apr 22, 2013 at 2:09 am rating: 7
You are evil!
You will be given a painful joint condition!
Apr 22, 2013 at 1:02 pm rating: 1
That’s the worst fish drawing ever. At least give the bugger an eye, a fin or two, and some scales.
Apr 22, 2013 at 1:45 pm rating: 1
I never understood the reasoning behind stealing plants out of someone’s bed. Can you sell them for a high profit or something? Did the thief carefully dig down to the roots to have intact sunflowers then? Are they award-winning? Is (s)he broke and trying to appease somebody?
Apr 22, 2013 at 2:52 pm rating: 0
If I were going to steal someones garden plants I at lest know enough about transplanting to keep the plant alive in my own yard for my own enjoyment. Thank you Grandma!
Apr 23, 2013 at 1:38 pm rating: 2
I love how this isn’t even a curse or a promise. It’s just a statement of fact. It’s not that God “will” punish you, he just does.
Apr 22, 2013 at 4:44 pm rating: 4
Only a “statement of fact” if God exists.
Apr 26, 2013 at 4:26 am rating: 4
Of course God exists. Look at all the people who have arthritis.
Apr 26, 2013 at 7:27 pm rating: 5
God uses arthritis! It’s super effective!
Apr 23, 2013 at 2:50 pm rating: 2
it is really Effective Treatment..
May 6, 2013 at 7:10 am rating: 0
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