Break the wrist, walk away

April 22nd, 2013 · 27 comments

Rob in Dallas says this note appeared “after the martial arts ‘gym’ closed down unexpectedly.” (Full disclosure: I have no idea what “gym” is supposed to imply.)

Warning to the few good people here. A lying phoney bastard called Hawkins was teaching martial arts upstairs. If you meet this scumbag don't sign any papers the asswhole [sic] teaches nothing but shit

P.S. I’m sure I’m not alone in picturing Hawkins like this:

Rex Kwon Do

related: Peter, professional tattoo artist and assistant instructor of Japanese swordsmanship

FILED UNDER: Dallas/Fort Worth · spelling and grammar police · warning · WTF?


27 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Captain Hampton

    Wholly moley, this person sounds upset.

    Apr 22, 2013 at 4:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   everover

    Hawkins is wholly an ass.

    Apr 22, 2013 at 4:32 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Silence

    It sounds like Hawkins…

    [puts on sunglasses]

    …needs a kick in the ass.

    YYYYEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

    Apr 22, 2013 at 4:48 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   H for Toy

      I was just wondering today where you and your glasses were, Silence.

      Apr 22, 2013 at 7:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Jami

      Silence is always there, H. Just when you look away, you forget. *draws another tally mark on her arm*

      Apr 22, 2013 at 7:54 pm   rating: 67  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   H for Toy

      Error: Already Voted

      Apr 22, 2013 at 9:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   addie

      I totally wish I could like that more than once.

      Apr 23, 2013 at 8:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Jami

      Darn 500 errors eating my comments.

      Now I’ve made “Word” Of The Day. One of my minor life goals is now complete.

      Next up, writing something on Facebook that’s Lamebook worthy.

      Apr 24, 2013 at 2:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Silence

      Do I get some kind of prize for having the Word of the Day be about me, in a roundabout way?

      Box set of CSI:Miami, perhaps?

      Apr 24, 2013 at 5:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   H for Toy

      I’d like the Dr Who box set for having been mentioned in the Word! of the Day. Congrats on accomplishing that goal Jami. That comment was 17 different kinds of awesome!

      Apr 24, 2013 at 9:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   Jami

      Heck, I’ll take a date with Rufus Sewell for my prize. Maybe he’ll bring a box set of Doctor Who instead of roses.

      Apr 25, 2013 at 12:37 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Coffee

     
  • #5   Mosie

    I totally read this in the whiny voice of Holden Caulfield.
    “Hawkins is a phoney… a big fat phoney!”

    Apr 22, 2013 at 4:57 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   juju_skittles

    Hawkins sure wasn’t teaching spelling.

    Apr 22, 2013 at 7:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   H for Toy

    Well really, what do you expect an asshole to teach? It’s really all it knows.

    Apr 22, 2013 at 9:16 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   orogomait

    “Gym” means “naked” btw

    Apr 22, 2013 at 10:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Elf

      Might explain why they got shut down. This guy just couldn’t handle Hawkins’ special “Bird Of Prey” attack.

      Apr 23, 2013 at 7:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   depro

    Not just part of the ass, but the whole ass. Kick it in its entirety.

    Apr 22, 2013 at 11:31 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   The Elf

      This. Absolutely!

      Too many people do a half-assed job.

      Apr 23, 2013 at 7:07 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Nikki

    “C’mere boy!”

    Apr 23, 2013 at 10:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Beatus Mongous

    Perhaps he meant “Ass Whore.”

    Apr 23, 2013 at 11:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Todd

    Impressed that “bastard” was spelled correctly. I figured the temptation to spell it with an e would be too great, but once again, I underestimate the mind of the simpleton.

    Apr 23, 2013 at 11:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   it's naptime

    That Hawkins is a bastage. A stupid farging icehole.

    Apr 23, 2013 at 2:07 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   nurgleth

    I’m pretty sure “gym” is supposed to imply that it wasn’t a gym but just a “lying phoney bastard” with a room upstairs or something.

    Or was that irony? I’m terrible at this.

    Apr 23, 2013 at 5:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   pooham

    Wholly Ass Batman!

    Apr 24, 2013 at 5:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Kenna

    I misread it as “marital arts ‘gym”
    which definitely implies something else

    Apr 28, 2013 at 3:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   RandomTandem

    He was a WHOLE ass!

    May 1, 2013 at 11:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

Comments are Closed