Don is the organizer of a doughnut co-op in his Chicago office, in which each co-worker takes a turn bringing in doughnuts every Friday to share with the rest of the group. “One of my co-workers is notorious for cutting doughnuts in half and leaving the other half behind in the box,” Don says, “which annoys some of the other members of the co-op. Apparently a co-worker felt that I was failing to maintain doughnut discipline and took it upon himself to post this warning.”
Adds Don: “Half-doughnuts are no longer showing up.”
related: The Office Breakroom Nibbler
144 responses so far ↓
#1
Marie
Why is it better to throw it away than to leave it for someone else to have? Finding half a donut would be like Christmas for me most days.
Apr 28, 2013 at 3:18 pm rating: 90
#2
diogenes
Worse than Worst: Leaving a giant thumbprint embedded in the half you leave behind
Apr 28, 2013 at 3:18 pm rating: 90
#3
Nunavut Guy
Wow!! Free doughnuts!!
Apr 28, 2013 at 3:20 pm rating: 90
#4
Renee
My old boss used to bring bagels in every Friday since we didn’t get a lunch that day and worked through so he and the other Jewish employees could be home in time for Shabbat at sundown. There were always half bagels in there… as long as everyone gets one, what’s wrong with a half being left behind? More for someone else!
Apr 28, 2013 at 3:20 pm rating: 90
#5
Kathy
I would love it too if someone left a half donut. Then I don’t have to feel as guilty for eating 300 calories. Just 150.
Apr 28, 2013 at 3:21 pm rating: 90
#6
Jami
At least they’re using a knife. Or shall I tell the story again about the coworker who used to eat half of a piece of candy or bread and leave the other half, teeth marks, salvia, and all in with the rest of the untouched candy and food?
Maybe I should then Don can print the story off and post it so people can be grateful the donut cutter uses a knife and not their teeth!
Apr 28, 2013 at 3:25 pm rating: 90
#7
21skulls
I seriously don’t see a problem with half a doughnut, as long as it wasn’t bitten off of or otherwise violated.
Apr 28, 2013 at 3:29 pm rating: 90
#8
d
I agree with the author of the note. Someone (maybe more than one) in my office is a cutter-in-halfer. The last time there were donuts in the office, I found 4 halfs (and nothing else) in the box — all filled donuts, all with most of the filling having now oozed out, and one of the donuts was cut in half and neither half was taken (WTF?). The equivalent of 2 donuts were wasted because no one would touch the cast-off halfs. I’m now on the lookout for the guilty parties.
Apr 28, 2013 at 3:37 pm rating: 90
#9
Hmmm
Cutting and leaving a filled donut is kinda gross. I wouldn’t eat the remaining half of one of those. Eww.
Unrelated to that…. How would anyone know if a donut is being cut and NOT left?
Apr 28, 2013 at 3:40 pm rating: 90
#10
Grrr
Solution: The person who buys the donuts puts on a pair of plastic gloves and cut each donut in half with a knife. That way anyone who just wants half a donut can have one and anyone who wants a whole donut can take two.
Apr 28, 2013 at 3:56 pm rating: 90
#11
ridiculous
First World problem… fo sho!
Seriously, skip over the donut half, if you are that anal retentive. It’s not like communal, unwrapped food, has any guarantees. Sheesh, wish half a dang donut was my biggest problem in life!! The donuts in my office are usually gone in mere seconds. Some people were known for snatching multiple. The horror!!
Apr 28, 2013 at 4:11 pm rating: 90
#12
LI
If I were part of this donut co-op, every time it was my turn to bring treats, I would cut all the damn donuts in half just to spite this note writer.
Apr 28, 2013 at 4:16 pm rating: 90
#13
Julia
Throwing part of it away is better than leaving it for someone else? Jeez, I wish I had the kind of money to just randomly throw shit away.
I can’t even wrap my head around someone being so fucking wasteful. Just … wow.
Apr 28, 2013 at 4:28 pm rating: 90
#14
Tard
Cutting a donut in half with a knife and leaving the other half in the box is standard procedure in the United States. Where the hell do these people live?
Apr 28, 2013 at 4:58 pm rating: 90
#15
OHSue
So don’t eat the half donut just like you don’t eat the half you want the cutter to toss. If we did donut duty at my job they would all be on diets except to sneak from others.
Apr 28, 2013 at 8:29 pm rating: 90
#16
bletchley
I think I get this, too. Someone at my workplace is forever leaving half-emptied sugar packets in the office kitchen. They tear open each packet, pour about half of it out (into their coffee or tea, I assume, but who knows really?), then fold the torn end over and put it back in the bowl with the whole packets.
Of course, no one else EVER uses the remaining half-full sugar packets… including the person who half-emptied them to begin with. Ultimately the packets begin spilling out their contents and they all get thrown out. Then the cycle begins anew.
It’s a minor annoyance, but it’s so patently a complete waste of time (and sugar) that it can’t fail to boggle the mind.
Apr 28, 2013 at 9:36 pm rating: 90
#17
Madrias
Am I the only one evil enough to think of cutting just the top half of the donut off, eating that, and leaving the awful plain half in the box instead?
Apr 28, 2013 at 10:35 pm rating: 90
#18
Trekkie Gal
Really Best: Cutting two doughnuts in half so that you and another coworker can each have two different kinds.
I see NOTHING wrong with cutting a doughnut in half!
Apr 28, 2013 at 10:38 pm rating: 90
#19
Jessi
Can’t doughnuts be cut in half with a knife without touching the actual doughnut? That’s how I’ve always done it…
Apr 28, 2013 at 11:37 pm rating: 90
#20
Christy
I work in a kitchen and we constantly have extra baked items or things that didn’t come out looking pretty enough to put in the shop that’re just set out for kitchen staff to eat, and we always just cut off pieces and eat what we want. I find it baffling that anyone would be offended by this. (I’ve eaten so many doughnut quarters in the past month, since the head baker has been doing doughnut recipe experiments, that I’m genuinely getting sick of doughnuts XD )
Apr 29, 2013 at 1:01 am rating: 90
#21
The Elf
Isn’t it amazing how worked up people get about free or communal food? Bring yer own if you’re that picky!
Apr 29, 2013 at 7:47 am rating: 90
#22
Adriana
I wouldn’t eat the half-doughnut for a few reasons. First, the idea of a stranger touching my food and using an unclean workplace knife (is there any other kind?) bothers me. Second, the parts exposed to the air get dry and crusty, so unless I happen upon the doughnut immediately after cutting, there’s no point.
Third, and I assume this is the notewriter’s point, taking half the doughnut is like ripping off part of the last piece of pizza. You think you’re doing everyone a favor because you didn’t eat the whole piece. Instead, you’re taunting everyone with what they could have had in its entirety if they’d just gotten there earlier.
If I only wanted half a doughnut in an office setting, I’d try to find a doughnut buddy who was willing to eat the other half rather than just cut into one and abandon it there. If I couldn’t, I’d probably just not have one at all.
Apr 29, 2013 at 8:45 am rating: 90
#23
Dane Zeller
Ah, the age old doughnut dilemma. Is the cut doughnut half-eaten, or half-left behind?
Apr 29, 2013 at 9:34 am rating: 90
#24
AP
I have a coworker who, when she wants half a precut bagel, rips one in half with her bare hands and puts the other half back.
Everyone else just takes one side of the bagel. It’s so RUDE.
Apr 29, 2013 at 10:08 am rating: 90
#25
redheadwglasses
We have a “Doughnut Club” where I work as well (Friday mornings). Anyone who posted such an obnoxious sign would have been kicked out of the club. Look, idiot sign maker: If I cut my doughnut in half, and leave half behind, that’s an extra half doughnut for someone else to enjoy.
Apr 29, 2013 at 10:39 am rating: 90
#26
redheadwglasses
It saddens me to see so many uses of the word “donut.” It’s “doughnut.” It deserves those extra letters. Vitamin D, people.
Apr 29, 2013 at 10:45 am rating: 90
#27
Juniper
I have no idea what the problem is here – unless they are ‘filled’ doughnuts with cream or jelly – then it’ll start getting hard and crusty pretty much immediately. But otherwise – someone needs to get off their doughnut high horse. You know what’s going to happen – the cutter will now take their half doughnut and throw the other half away and start a whole new note war over people that throw away food.
Apr 29, 2013 at 10:56 am rating: 90
#28
guest
The problem isn’t really doughnuts at all. The problem is that most office jobs are so mind-numbingly boring that small irritations turn into huge dramas.
Apr 29, 2013 at 11:16 am rating: 90
#29
Captain Hampton
If you’re this concerned about waste, corporate America may not be the right workplace for you.
Apr 29, 2013 at 11:50 am rating: 90
#30
Ann
As long as they didn’t fondle the thing while cutting it (i.e., used utensils), they have done a *good* thing, I think. They’ve eaten less sugar and fat themselves, which is good for their own health and well being, and they’ve not wastefully thrown out a perfectly good half-doughnut that some other person could have eaten. Even if this person’s annoyed by it for some reason, why make an issue of it? Just take one of the whole ones and move on with your life. It hurts no one.
Apr 29, 2013 at 12:00 pm rating: 90
#31
Ellie
This belongs at justeatthelastone.tumblr.com.
Apr 29, 2013 at 1:10 pm rating: 90
#32
depro
Take. the. whole. fucking. thing.
If the office is so giving they provide donuts, but so cheap they don’t provide enough so they are all cut in half, that’s uh, reasonable. To the twit in our office (you know who your are!) who cuts 1/8 of several different donuts because “I’m on a diet, I can’t have the whole thing!”, I would say guess what, but you’re too dumb to do it.
Apr 29, 2013 at 2:25 pm rating: 90
#33
Raichu
Wait, why is it better to throw the uneaten half away? Unless you have seriously OCD? What a waste. Let them have their half-donuts, and if nobody else eats the other half, then throw it away at the end of the day.
Seriously, what a weird thing to write a PAN about.
Apr 29, 2013 at 2:38 pm rating: 90
#34
Jolly
Pretty sure the notewriter is the definition of both batshit and busybody.
Apr 29, 2013 at 4:55 pm rating: 90
#35
Tesstarosa
I buy bagels for my office every week (one of the few benefits of the job.) My boss used to break a bagel in half with her hands and put the other half back. No one would eat the other half – mostly, I think, because it looks like some bit into the bagel. If I cut the torn edges straight with a knife, someone would eat it.
I prefer that people use the bagel slicer we have to halve the bagels. Then you can easily toast the half. Cut in half the other way makes them hard to toast.
The person who wrote this note should be kicked out of the donut club because s/he’s a fruit.
Apr 29, 2013 at 7:53 pm rating: 90
#36
Danny
I’ve done this, but I recognize that it’s fairly pathetic. I want the to eat the donut, but I also want the self esteem bump from showing at least some dram of self discipline.
Apr 29, 2013 at 8:38 pm rating: 90
#37
Chrissy
We had someone who would take it upon herself to cut ALL the donuts that anyone brought into LOTS of little slivers “so every can try them all.” We finally had to tell her (and also posted a note ’cause she forgot at first) that we all wanted to pick out single donuts for ourselves and that if she brought the donuts (which she never did), then she was free to cut them all up.
Apr 30, 2013 at 1:29 am rating: 90
#38
Hastor
I don’t see the big deal in cutting a donut in half myself. It surely isn’t worse than throwing away half a donut. I think the guy that wrote the note should collect said donut halves and take them to the homeless.
Apr 30, 2013 at 11:11 am rating: 90
#39
Wait..what?
Now I want a doughnut..
Apr 30, 2013 at 12:14 pm rating: 90
#40
Pam
i like actually biting the donut in half and leaving it there for others to think i cut it in half.
Apr 30, 2013 at 2:24 pm rating: 90
#41
Liz
I’m surprised no one has brought up the dangers of leaving that doughnut or half a doughnut out. Being fondled or mauled by a weird coworker, being dropped and stepped on, falling under the refrigerator. It’s a dangerous world, so remember it’s much safer for doughnuts to be inside your stomach than outside.
Apr 30, 2013 at 11:01 pm rating: 90
#42
schudon
So I am the Don of the doughnut club.
I forwarded this website to the whole club and it made for an interesting day. The doughnut slaughterer came to my cube and assured me he always used a clean knife. Having peed with most of the doughnut club members- I can vouch for them- they are all hand washers. Obviously I can’t vouch for the 2 women members of the club.
I was amazed at the response to this posting- we apparently struck a nerve.
But I do have to agree with some of the commentators- yes, this is a first world problem and we probably should refocus on work over doughnut club.
AND I have further insight on the sign author!!!
We had birthday doughnuts today too!
May 1, 2013 at 10:31 am rating: 90
#43
kbee
I’m bewildered because I’ve never seen a donut cut in half. It’s a bizarre idea to me. In all my work settings, the foods have been consumed as they’re intended.
Would I personally eat a half donut? Probably not. I’m not squeamish, nor immuno-suppressed, but if some middle man between me and the chef that made it has been there before me and sliced it up, in a communal setting, I’d probably just pass it over for a whole donut of my own to maul as I see fit. Just my personal thing, I guess.
Anyway, I disagree with the sign on one major point – throw the half away? No. As illustrated above, there are many, many people who are halfsies supporters, so leave it behind in hopes it’ll be eaten by those brave souls.
PS. Reading all the way through, all I have is the word doughnut/donut swirling in my head. Agh.
May 2, 2013 at 5:13 pm rating: 90
#44
sandy
What kind of person eats half a damn doughnut? I hate working with people like that. Instead of saying, ” Thanks but I would rather not have a doughnut” they make a big production of eating half. OR less-and splitting it with someone else. Along with people who talk about their bikes too much and “pet parents”, people who talk about their calories or make a big deal out of not eating a dessert( that is usually a good-will present) are the worst. Just don’t eat the doughnut.
May 11, 2013 at 4:28 pm rating: 90
#45
what
Not everyone eats the same portions. I’m a tiny person who eats my own breakfast every morning, but I enjoy office donuts too. I cut donuts/muffins/bagels in half because I literally can’t eat the whole thing, and I’m not going to shove it down my gullet when I’m already full. Hopefully, someone else will enjoy the other half, another tiny person like me or maybe someone who’s on a diet. It’s not like I touched it. Why would I throw it away? That’s so freaking wasteful.
May 25, 2013 at 10:49 am rating: 90
#46
Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
I don’t see the problem. Presumably this person is entitled to take part in the donut co-op and is therefore entitled to a whole donut. They are choosing to only take half a donut. If you don’t want to eat the other half that this person has left, don’t. Would the note writer prefer that this person ate half and threw the other half away?
May 28, 2013 at 5:41 am rating: 90
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