It loses something in translation

May 7th, 2013 · 47 comments

Drew is currently sharing an apartment in Taiwan with three roommates. One day, this note appeared on the door of the bathroom, directly facing the toilet. Says Drew: “I contemplate its meaning like a Zen haiku.”

What is Toilet love? Love: Delicious Tissues Love: Great Pee Hate: Disgust Phone Hate: Terrible Hair Love: Yummy Poo

related: My German roommate

FILED UNDER: Clearly a non-native English speaker · clip art catastrophe · most popular notes of 2013 · roommates · toilet · WTF?


47 responses so far ↓

  • #1   onlittlecatfeet

    Jesus Christ on a bicycle. What did I just read?

    May 7, 2013 at 10:32 pm   rating: 115  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   OCnative

      I had to scroll back up to look for Jesus on a bicycle because I thought, “Yeah that was such a cluster fuck, he very well could have been there on a bike somewhere.”

      May 8, 2013 at 1:04 am   rating: 79  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   TKD

      You have not read Fifty Shades of Brown? It’s the number two book on the best seller list.

      May 8, 2013 at 6:37 am   rating: 56  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Beatus Mongous

      Number two – I see what you did there.

      May 8, 2013 at 11:49 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Me

    …the hell???

    May 7, 2013 at 10:33 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Beatus Mongous

      Yummy poo!

      May 8, 2013 at 11:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Dixie Chick

    What on god’s green earth–?

    I’m totally stuck for a clever comment, because I can’t quite wrap my mind around this one.

    May 7, 2013 at 10:50 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Patrick

    Translation: What does the toilet love? Pee, poo, and tissues are fine, but don’t put your phone or hair in here.

    May 7, 2013 at 10:54 pm   rating: 140  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   nativefloridian

      That makes sense, except for the putting the phone in the toilet part. Maybe someone spends too much time on the toilet browsing the internet on their smart phone?

      May 7, 2013 at 11:02 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Marie

      You’re like some sort of wizard. Thank you.

      May 7, 2013 at 11:28 pm   rating: 65  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Ermengarde bang

      If PAN’s going to Eastasia for weird happy notes, we’ll be there a while. ;) <3

      May 8, 2013 at 7:33 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   H for Toy bang

      I had a roommate that used to flush her hair down the toilet… eventually. There were three of us in the apartment, all with long and/or thick hair, so we had a screen over the shower drain to catch all the hair. She was adamant that we all clean out the shower drain after each shower (which made sense) but then, instead of throwing her own wad of hair out after her shower, she’d push it up to the edge of the tub and leave it there until bathroom cleaning day. I finally had to ask her to take the extra couple seconds to toss it, so then she flushed it down the toilet.

      May 8, 2013 at 8:27 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Iwill FindU

      Hair will clog up the toilet so freaking badly. I once lived in an apartment under someone with that bad habit after awhile every time she flushed the toilet it would run down the walls in my place. Took a week for the freaking plumber to show up. I’ve never wanted to break into a place and shave someone’s head in their sleep as badly as I did then.
      Not enough bleach in North America for that mess I tell you.

      May 9, 2013 at 12:02 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   The Elf

      Run down the walls? There was something more going on than a clogged toilet, there. Ewwww!

      May 9, 2013 at 6:38 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   H for Toy

      That’s disgusting. I know we never had that problem, fortunately. The woman who lived below us had zero problems with knocking on our door and telling us how to run things, so I’m sure she would’ve been up there in a heartbeat had anything like that happened.

      May 9, 2013 at 8:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Iwill FindU

      Oh I was up there but you can’t demand that someone stop peeing or craping for a whole week. The plumber ended up having to cut out a 3 foot chunk of pipe to remove all her hair. And I was calling the plumber everyday he just didn’t think it was “that bad” finally I called and told him if he didn’t show up I was going to dump the buckets of crap in his living room to see how he liked it.
      That’s the problem when the landlord tells you who to call for problems you can’t just phone 8 different guys and wait for the first one to show up.

      May 9, 2013 at 2:46 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   E

    It means quit jerking off in the bathroom you turd!

    May 7, 2013 at 10:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Eliavy

      Jerking off isn’t going to stop any time soon with those pictures in the bathroom unless the roommates are all straight women.

      May 7, 2013 at 11:15 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   H for Toy bang

      I dunno. I’m a straight woman, and those girls are still pretty hot.

      May 8, 2013 at 8:28 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Ermengarde bang

      Might stop if they’re all gay men… Great Pee Guy really isn’t too hot.

      May 8, 2013 at 9:38 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Ajax

      Also, Toilet loves farts. (See infographic, lower right.)

      May 8, 2013 at 10:03 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Marie

    The Great Pee picture is killing me.

    May 7, 2013 at 11:29 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   The Elf

      But the guy in the great pee picture is relieved.

      Honestly, and I know this is the not-even-close-to-suppressed geek in me talking, this reminds me of the scene in SciFi channel’s take on Dune, when Paul Muad’dib makes it rain on Arrakis. (Not to be confused with the far superior 80′s movie Dune).

      May 8, 2013 at 7:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Mike Rophone bang

    Lady don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more.

    May 8, 2013 at 1:06 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   redheadwglasses

    I spent two weeks in Taiwan. Saw some weird shit. Like a guy lying on the sidewalk at a busy bus stop area, maturbating and pointing to the sky. He was wearing tennis whites and had a racquet on the ground next to him.

    And I drank Taiwanese beer, which has formaldehyde in it. And played video games where your reward for progressing to the next level is an anime strip tease on the screen.

    And yet, I never saw anything like the above sign.

    May 8, 2013 at 6:51 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   My name is Princess!

    I’d like to unread that sign thanks.

    May 8, 2013 at 8:39 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Kwyjor

    My first thought was that this couldn’t be a PAN, but had to be a magazine advertisement for… I don’t know. Beer? Perfume? Shoes, maybe? (Remember the infamous ads for Candie’s Shoes?)

    If nothing else, it’s worthy of a design portfolio compared to the stuff that usually crops up.

    May 8, 2013 at 9:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   AP

    One year in college, I changed rooms midyear to a suite where I didn’t know the residents.

    The inside of the bathroom door was absolutely covered with incoherent collages made from fashion magazines, very similar to this. I have no idea who put them there or what they meant.

    May 8, 2013 at 10:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      At least it gave you something to read!

      May 8, 2013 at 1:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Iwill FindU

      I did that with my roommates during college we kept pencil crayons and blank paper in the bathroom and we would draw pictures to each other and leave little notes asking about each others day. It was great fun, when guests came by we could hear them laughing in the bathroom. The one girl still has all the paper she pulls them out when she misses us. We called them our potty-doddles, and toilet-talk.
      I’m sure a new comer might have thought it strange.

      May 9, 2013 at 12:08 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Gladystopia

      Iwill FindU said:
      “I’m sure a new comer might have thought it strange.”

      Now what on earth would give you THAT idea??? :)

      May 9, 2013 at 2:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Iwill FindU

      All the laughing that went on well guests were in the bathroom. Although the potty-doddles, and toilet-talk might have been more comical strange, then pan strange. And really what would you rather live with.
      Lucky we never had another person move in halfway though the year, so didn’t have to teach/explain to another person about our strange bathroom habits since the potty-doddles, and toilet-talk were more or less the tip of that iceberg.

      May 9, 2013 at 2:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Jami

    *ponders* Okay, I get it, but where’s the part about not flushing tampons and/or pads down the toilet?

    May 8, 2013 at 1:11 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Elf

      We really don’t need an illustration for that, do we? Please say no. “Great Pee” is enough.

      May 8, 2013 at 1:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Kittymama

      I, too, think this is an apartment full of guys, to the extent that they don’t need even to consider that a woman might ever make it all the way into their bathroom.

      May 29, 2013 at 7:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   The Elf

    5 out of the last 6 PANs have involved crap in some way. The 6th one might have too – ol’ Teddy wasn’t too specific on the sex acts the MULE who went to the gypsy wanted.

    If this is turning into a scat chat, I’m out of here. There are some lines I just don’t want to cross.

    May 8, 2013 at 1:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Jami

      But what if it’s musical scatting? The kind Mel Tormé and Ella Fitzgerald used to do?

      May 8, 2013 at 2:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Stuffin'

      Good point. Lets avoid confusion and refer to this as a fecal forum.

      May 8, 2013 at 10:11 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Tard

    Okay, so what does it mean?

    May 8, 2013 at 2:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Jami

      Don’t flush phones or hair down the toilet. But do flush tissues, poop, and pee down the toilet.

      May 9, 2013 at 1:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   H for Toy

      But, I like to give my phone a bath every now and then.

      May 9, 2013 at 3:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Mechanistika

    My first semester of college, one of my roommates decided she was going to plaster the walls with close up pictures of sphincters. She claimed it “helped her poop” and made her go into “zen mode”.
    I almost cried with happiness when she moved out before second semester started.

    May 10, 2013 at 1:09 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      I’m going to go out on a limb and say that wasn’t there to help her poop. She’s got a fetish, and that was her private time. Now you have another reason to cry, knowing you used the same bathroom. You can thank me later.

      May 10, 2013 at 6:48 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Mechanistika

      Probably. There was a reason I didn’t spend much time in my room. Thank God for semi-normal friends with houses. Brought them packets of toilet paper in return for sanctuary.
      But really, we all knew. We knew and we avoided that bathroom for a while.

      May 10, 2013 at 7:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Raichu

    What. the. fuck??

    May 17, 2013 at 3:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   RCat

      Holy ****, a Raichu! I choose you, Dugtrio! Pokéball, go!

      May 17, 2013 at 4:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Jessica110100101

    Why would someone flush hair? There typically is a trash bin next to it.

    May 25, 2013 at 3:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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