Baby Teeth, $10 OBO

May 23rd, 2013 · 65 comments

“No, she didn’t lose three teeth in one day,” says Jenny in Texas, regarding her 7-year-old daughter, Zelda. “She was just hoping to graduate from $1 per tooth to $10 based on experience. (But she’s totally negotiable if that’s not cool with you, Tooth Fairy.)”

Dear Tooth Fairy, I have lost 3 baby teeth. Can I have 10 1 dollar bills, please. Love, Zelda! P.S. I am negotiable

related: Possibly the Best Tooth Fairy letter of all time

FILED UNDER: kids · money


65 responses so far ↓

  • #1   kazari

    I foresee a fruitful career in corporate in this child’s future.

    May 23, 2013 at 4:35 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   H for Toy

    Dear Zelda,

    Sure, I’ll give you a dollar bill for each of the next 10 teeth you lose. Then you’ll have 10.

    Love,
    The Tooth Fairy

    May 23, 2013 at 4:39 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Iwill FindU

    $1 what happened to 25cents? I’m not sure I’ll be able to afford my children’s imagination. Sorry baby no tooth fairy, Easter bunny or Santa claus for you. Mommy needs to buy food.

    May 23, 2013 at 4:47 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   rushgirl2112

      Inflation?

      I got 25 cents as a child, but that was back in the 70s and 80s. And that’s with really thrifty parents – a lot of my friends got 50 cents.

      I realize not everyone can afford $1 (seriously, I’m on assistance so I totally get that), but in today’s money, it’s not exactly extravagant.

      May 23, 2013 at 6:25 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   girlwithknife

      Losing my teeth was pretty traumatic after a few years. From ages ten to twelve my baby teeth wouldn’t fall out, they just moved back a row or my new tooth would push one sideways. I got 20 bucks every time I managed to get one of my painful bloody teeth out.

      May 23, 2013 at 8:54 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Beatus Mongous

      I’ll tell you what happened to 25¢:

      Grandparents!

      May 23, 2013 at 10:52 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Iwill FindU

      @girlwithknife. My younger sister had the same problem the dentist just started pulling out her baby teeth to make space for the adult teeth, twice a year he would remove 2 baby teeth. It worked wonders saved her lots of pain and her adult teeth came in nice and straight. She doesn’t regret it as an adult but I remember her crying, not wanting to go to the dentist, and holding her hand the whole time.
      She still only got 25 cents per tooth. Poor girl.

      May 24, 2013 at 12:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   kermit

      The whole tooth fairy story is creepy, and I’ll never understand how it caught on.

      Seriously, how do you justify to a kid that there’s some fairy out there willing to pay good money for their body parts?

      If the going rate for a tooth is supposed to be $1, then what’s the going rate for an appendix?

      I’m certainly glad my parents didn’t foist this scheme on me when I was little.

      May 24, 2013 at 4:24 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   L

      What on earth can you buy with a quarter these days? With a buck, you can buy something from the dollar store, at least.

      May 24, 2013 at 9:22 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Jami

      @kermit I think this was pondered by the children in the book The Family Nobody Wanted – it’s a true story about a couple who adopted a slew of kids who were considered unadoptable – one had a big birthmark over most of her face, the others were all of mixed ethnic groups. Anyway – if it was in this book (it might’ve been in a dozen others I read) the kids figured out that the Tooth Fairy sold the teeth to Santa Claus and he used them for teeth in the dolls he made at the North Pole for Christmas.

      May 24, 2013 at 9:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   notolaf

      Actually, that sounds kind of Disc World.

      May 24, 2013 at 10:34 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   SeeYouInTea

      I was a late bloomer too, well toothwise. I finally got my four last baby teeth pulled when I was 13. I got home that day and took a nap, and woke up to a crime scene in my room. Blood on my face, shirt, floor and pillow. I walked around the house that day with a shopping bag to spit my gauze into. It was so horrible. When I did lose my teeth naturally, my mom always gave me $5 per tooth.

      May 24, 2013 at 11:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   Iwill FindU

      @L : You can’t get anything for 25cents so it’s as useless to the child as the babytooth is to the parent. Makes it a fair trade.
      I’m not giving my children good money for something I’m going to dump in the trash. They should count themselves lucky I don’t give them pennies.

      May 25, 2013 at 1:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   Tesselara

      Throw them away?! Never! They could be found and used in witchcraft (or maybe in Amy Sedaris Craft). Seriously, though…my mother kept all of my teeth. I found them when I was 12, wrapped in tissue paper and labeled with the year they were lost. The experience was….bizarre.

      May 25, 2013 at 1:43 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.12   Poltergeist

      Kermit – a lot of childhood myths and fables are creepy if you look past the thin, sugary exterior. The Toothfairy can be useful, though. Teeth are an easily understood indicator of growing up. If done properly, it’s a fun little way to teach kids about gaining responsibility. Done improperly, however, and you’ve created a spoiled brat.

      Tread carefully parents because once that pixie has your child in her iron grip, there is no rescuing them!

      May 25, 2013 at 3:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.13   Iwill FindU

      So I should sell my children’s old teeth to people on pintrest to make into creepy crafts? I think I’ll take my chances with the witchcraft.

      May 25, 2013 at 5:42 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.14   Library Lady

      I work at a children’s library, so I interact with a lot of different kids. Whenever one tells me they’ve lost a tooth, I nosily ask how much the tooth fairy left them. The average is $5! :O Quite a few get ten dollars as well, and I don’t even live in a wealthy area. I got $1 as a kid in the 90′s, but I would’ve knocked out a few more teeth if the payouts had been that sweet…

      May 26, 2013 at 3:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.15   kermit

      What’s the going rate for an appendix, Library Lady?

      May 26, 2013 at 6:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Grimby

    She should have asked for rupees instead.

    May 23, 2013 at 9:17 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Madrias

      Glad I’m not the only one who was thinking that!

      May 23, 2013 at 10:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Ann

    I like the cut of her jib.

    May 23, 2013 at 10:46 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Alex

    Best name ever! The wisdom is strong in this one.

    May 24, 2013 at 10:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   The Elf

      Use the triForce, Zelda.

      May 24, 2013 at 1:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   jazzgirl205

    When I was a child in the 60′s and 70′s, my friend down the street always got household items from the toothfairy: screen for the fire place, a chair for the kitchen. She lived with her grandparents who were Yugoslavian. I don’t think they really grasped the concept.

    May 24, 2013 at 11:19 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Beatus Mongous

      Imagine waking up to a chair under your pillow.

      May 24, 2013 at 11:36 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   redheadwglasses

      So they knew they were supposed to give the kid something, so they just gave her something they needed for the household. Odd.

      May 24, 2013 at 2:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   kermit

      What’s bizarre is setting the precedent that your (disposable) body parts are worth something to some creepy fairy.

      This toothfairy business is mostly an American thing, I think.

      May 24, 2013 at 4:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   H for Toy

      You always have such a different take on things, Kermit. I’ve never thought of the Tooth Fairy that way before. Now, ew!

      May 24, 2013 at 4:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Lil'

      When I was a little kid, I asked my mom what the tooth fairy does with all the teeth. Without missing a beat she said, “She makes dentures.” I never doubted her, and it was years before I had the maturity of thought to picture old folks with baby teeth and realize my mom got one over on me.

      May 24, 2013 at 6:13 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   L

      The tooth fairy’s origins are in early Europe, from burying a child’s baby teeth. It was probably seen as some measure of protection to keep the child from being stolen by fairies.

      May 24, 2013 at 7:24 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Nunavut Guy

      Good thing that the furnace wasn’t low on oil.

      May 24, 2013 at 7:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   kermit

      As a person who grew up in Europe, I never heard the tooth fairy story. We had St.Nick, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

      Then I moved and heard the tooth fairy story and it scared the hell out of me. I didn’t find it encouraging to children to let go of their baby teeth at all; just some creepy woman who goes around paying children for their teeth strikes me as particularly bizarre.

      May 24, 2013 at 9:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   notolaf

      I think in China they throw the top teeth over the roof and bury the bottom teeth in the yard.

      May 24, 2013 at 10:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.10   Nunavut Guy

      China calling;

      It’s bottom teeth over the roof and top teeth in the yard.

      Dam foreigners.

      May 26, 2013 at 12:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.11   JamiSings bang

      I know this’ll be filtered because I’m posting URLs. Hopefully it’ll be approved before the day is over.

      http://traditionscustoms.com/lifestyle/baby-tooth

      This one’s my favorite -

      The Vikings believed that baby teeth help them in their battles so they have been putting them in their necklaces and other jewelry.

      So maybe the Tooth Fairy is really a Viking. Or selling baby teeth to Vikings for their jewelry.

      http://voices.yahoo.com/baby-teeth-traditions-around-world-877059.html?cat=25

      May 26, 2013 at 11:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   So

    Am I the only one questioning the name Zelda here? Or is that not an uncommon name in the USA?

    May 24, 2013 at 4:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   H for Toy

      I don’t think it’s common, but it’s not unheard of, either. I suppose it came in with all the rest of the names that were popular at the turn of last century, and it wouldn’t be as strange if it weren’t for the video games.

      May 24, 2013 at 6:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   The Elf

      Maybe they’re just Gatsby fans.

      May 25, 2013 at 4:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   AshMarie

      I wondered the same thing. We have two potential sources now.

      May 25, 2013 at 7:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Tard

    Remember the Ren & Stimpy episode about the “Bloody Head Fairy”? By SPUMCO!

    May 24, 2013 at 4:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Victor Mancini

    People who name their kids Zelda, Link, Luigi, Starfox, California, Sprinkles, Yoshi, and other energetic names need to shampoo my ass hairs.

    May 24, 2013 at 5:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Iwill FindU

      There needs to be a thumbs down. People can name their kids what ever they want.

      May 24, 2013 at 5:26 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Lil'

      I don’t think Zelda is a bad name, but I do think people should give their kids names they can put on a resume one day. These kids are going to grow up and try to build lives for themselves, and they really shouldn’t be saddled with some crazy names that their parents thought were unique, creative or inspired. Two candidates with matching qualifications compete for a management position. They have comparable skills and professional appearances. One’s named Elizabeth, the other’s named Rainbow – Elizabeth is getting the call back.

      May 24, 2013 at 6:29 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   L

      There was an aunt named Zelda in the Sabrina comics as early as 1968, long before the video game. One origin is as a variant as the Yiddish name “Selig” and another is a nickname from Griselda. The video game might be the most well-known source, but it’s certainly not the only. For all we know, the kid could be named after her grandmother.

      Rainbow could go by “Rain” which isn’t terrible. Raine Wilson seems to be doing already for himself.

      May 24, 2013 at 7:28 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   kermit

      Children from rich families tend to do well no matter what crazy name their parents gave them.

      On the other hand, if you’re poor and have a name that gives people the impression that your parents named you after left over Scrabble tiles, you’re going to face some prejudice.

      May 24, 2013 at 9:25 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Loreen

      I hear Zelda, I think Zelda Fitzgerald, who was born in 1900. Uncommon, but a name before the video game.

      May 24, 2013 at 10:00 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Jami

      Zelda Fitzgerald. Look her up. Then go back to assuming she won’t get hired because of her name “comes from a video game.”

      May 24, 2013 at 10:07 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   H for Toy

      I think of the flapper girl from Singing In the Rain. Apparently Zelda was moderately popular in the 1910s. 403; about the same as naming your daughter Scarlett or Carmen today. Nowhere near the top ten, but not, as Kermit so picturesquely put it, naming your child after leftover scrabble tiles.

      May 24, 2013 at 10:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   kermit

      Jami, Zelda Fitzgerald never really did have a job. Partly because she was a tad nuts, and partly because she was filthy stinkin’ rich while regular people were cooking rats during the Depression.

      May 25, 2013 at 7:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.9   Jami

      I’m just pointing out the name didn’t originate with a video game.

      May 25, 2013 at 11:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.10   Snowflame

      Well of course she never really did have a job. She turned up at job interviews and people said “We’re not hiring you! You’re obviously named after a video game from sixty years in the future! How do you expect us to take you seriously with a name like that?”
      Either that or they were afraid she would constantly be being rescued by a sexually ambiguous elf in a silly hat. That sort of thing can really mess with productivity.

      May 26, 2013 at 3:41 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.11   Jane

      I think of the Aunt Zelda from the Sabrina comics.

      May 27, 2013 at 12:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.12   Hannah

      It’s not all about hiring. Sometimes it’s a matter of what sorts of nicknames people will come up with for your child. Or whether that name is still common for your child’s sex. Yes, it’s your kid and you can name him whatever you want, but HE’S the one who has to live with it.

      Jun 2, 2013 at 11:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   notolaf

    This kid is FIVE? She’s a genius!

    May 24, 2013 at 10:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Will

    I’m 38 and still have two of my baby teeth. If they ever decide to come out, I hope the tooth fairy has access to the Consumer Price Index inflation calculator.

    May 25, 2013 at 2:35 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   AshMarie

      They should be rare collectibles by now (by tooth fairy standards.)

      May 25, 2013 at 7:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   The Elf

      They’re not exactly mint in box, you know.

      May 26, 2013 at 7:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   kbee

    A friend’s daughter just lost her first tooth. We were all floored to hear that one earned her $10. When we asked WTF, he said “hey, inflation”.

    I think these kids are on to something.

    May 26, 2013 at 11:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   havingfitz

    And the tooth fairy responds:

    WELL EXCUSE ME, PRINCESS!!!

    May 27, 2013 at 12:47 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Jo

    This is FAKE.

    7 year old kids don’t generally write the letter T like a cross – that’s something adults begin to do over time…

    They also generally do not use P.S. or use exclamation marks either

    Sad.

    May 27, 2013 at 2:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   JamiSings bang

      Maybe she’s just a really smart kid.

      May 27, 2013 at 3:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Lily

      Yes they do. Besides, she knows how to write other lower case letters. I remember being taught lower case letters in preschool. I’d be surprised if a seven-year-old wrote in all caps.
      And punctuation? They teach that in first grade.

      May 27, 2013 at 6:42 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Lisa

      I gained a penpal when I was 4 when my family moved. I used P.S.

      May 28, 2013 at 8:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Frank

      ‘Kids don’t do X or X or X’?

      Kids learn things at different paces. Maybe your kid didn’t learn to write a T properly until later, but other kids might be taught it from the beginning. Same for all your points

      May 28, 2013 at 12:59 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   RCat

    I would like some dooler bills as well. They’re probably awesome.

    May 30, 2013 at 2:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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