Don’t #!%*@ over spilled oil

May 26th, 2013 · 59 comments

Kyle in Sydney, Australia says this sign was posted near the elevator in the basement of his building, where apparently someone had spilled some cooking oil on the floor. Based on this note, I’m still a little unsure about how the person who cleaned up the mess felt about the whole situation.

Whoever spilled cooking oil on this floor, you are mother fucking asshole mother fucker. You don't even know what the fuck to do with your responsibility and it tells me why you are living at the bottom of our society idiot. I clean this shit for everyone not because of you little cunt. One more thing, you are fucking ass hole. Go fuck yourself with your shit face. Why are you breathing fucking son of bitch?

related: Seven words you CAN say on a box of leftover takeout

FILED UNDER: cleaning · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · more aggressive than passive · Sydney

59 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Scott Hall

    Does the janitor suspect a Korean spilled it? Heyyo, that’s racist.

    May 26, 2013 at 3:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Sorcha

      Yeah, I was wondering that as well.

      May 26, 2013 at 4:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Roto13

      Yeah, I was going to ask, what’s with the Korean? Does he assume a Korean did it? “Fuck, better write it in Korean, too, since it was most likely a fucking gook”

      May 26, 2013 at 4:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Divawriter

      Well, he wrote the note in English, too, so my guess is that he just wanted to make sure he didn’t miss anybody!

      May 26, 2013 at 9:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   jen

      strange on your part to assume that the person writing the note isn’t korean. your average person doesn’t speak or write 한굴.

      May 26, 2013 at 10:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   @Roto13

      “Gook” is the pejorative for Filipinos. If you are going to use racist terms please get them correct.

      May 27, 2013 at 12:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   zenvelo

      you’re wrong on that, gook was used as derogatory against Koreans during the Korean War, and also applied to Vietnamese in the 60s. US Army, spreading offense wherever they go!

      May 27, 2013 at 12:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.7   Wrench

      1: “Gook” is Korean. “Nip” or “Jap” is Japanese. Easy to remember because the North Koreans refer to the united peninsula as Hanguk. (Though American Marines aren’t exactly well-known for their ethnic sensitivity and generally referred to all Asians by the same pejoratives; after all, they all look the same.)
      2: I’m thinking this might’ve been a Seoul military barracks or family housing; not all military stationed in KS are linguists, but some have native-speakers who live with them for childcare. So it would make sense to have both languages, especially if you know how to swear in English and Korean…

      May 28, 2013 at 7:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.8   cowbert

      Nathan Muir (points to Tom Bishop’s rack): Why’s he over there?
      Capt. Lebowitz: Oh, uhh they live separately from the other men. They cook their own food, gook food. Smells awful, sir.
      Muir: Not to the enemy. Send him in.

      May 28, 2013 at 11:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.9   a-Arialist

      I suspect by the English that the janitor himself is Korean (doesn’t seem like English is the first language). Given that he’s rewritten the note in Korean, I’d therefore suspect he also works with a few Koreans and is covering all his bases by being bilingual in his rage.

      May 29, 2013 at 6:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.10   Hannah

      Exactly. Look at the missing definite articles in the English version.

      Jun 2, 2013 at 11:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Iwill FindU

    Spills oil “well crap I’ll need a mop to clean this up.” Returns with mop finds note.

    May 26, 2013 at 4:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Tard

      This exact thing has happened to me.
      I was even yelled at once while I was cleaning up a very small mess I’d made. I smiled, took his picture with my phone and he ran off.
      Kids, Don’t Do Drugs.

      May 26, 2013 at 6:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   AngryJanitor

    I’m not a native speaker of Korean, so someone who is please feel free to correct me, but this is how I read the Korean part. I took a few liberties with the translation, to make it fit more with the tone of the first (just changing the severity of some of the words that can be mildly or really offensive depending on tone; I think he meant the more offensive meanings, of course), and to make it flow better, but I tried to stay as close to the original as possible:

    “To the bastard (guy) that spilled the cooking oil, you’re really a bunch of shit (trash). Why haven’t you cleaned this up? Are you retarded (handicapped) or something? You must be the kind of bastard who does things like this because he thinks he looks cool. But no, you dick around (play) when others are working and work (I think he means this more like “cause trouble,” but I’m not sure) when others are sleeping, you beggar-like son of a bitch. I hate people like you who play the rebel and leave me to clean up the mess. Just die, why are you living?”

    The last sentence is a bit hard for me to translate, but it’s something to do with wanting to see the perp on camera, and it ends with calling him a motherfucker.

    May 26, 2013 at 4:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   orogomait

      native speaker, you pretty much nailed it except for

      He doesnt say “rebel” he says “level”

      its an eggcorn “I dont want to play at your level”

      너랑 같은 레벨로 놀기 싫다

      the last part says
      “Looking at the camera, Im afraid you’re probably Korean, I can’t even bring myself to look at it, motherfucker”

      May 26, 2013 at 10:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Native Speaker

      The last part says:
      I’d check the video but I’m scared to find out if you’re Korean (which he would be embarrassed for the entire people/to be of the same ethnicity) so I can’t even ask to see it, you motherfucker.”

      Based on the overall tone he used, my guess is that this person just might be slightly ticked off.

      May 26, 2013 at 11:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   FeRD bang

      I prefer eggcreams to eggcorns.

      May 27, 2013 at 7:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   shwo! bang

    “Go fuck yourself with your shit face” made me laugh so hard I think a piece of brain came out of my nose.

    May 26, 2013 at 5:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   pppanther

    According to a native Korean, the last sentence is something like “I wanna see your face on camera but I won’t because if you are Korean I will feel shame – motherfucker!”

    The note-writer is also Korean, so I think a kind of shame of his fellow countryman’s actions.

    May 26, 2013 at 6:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   kermit

    Anybody who’s done time in fast food purgatory sympathizes with the note writer.

    May 26, 2013 at 6:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Nunavut Guy

    Wow. Angriest run on sentence of the century.

    May 26, 2013 at 8:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Sir Puke

    What if English is the second language for the note writer?
    This may explain the use of all caps and the run on sentences.

    Nevermind, I read the comment confirming my suspicion.

    May 26, 2013 at 10:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Nunya

      Nah. That’s angry-type right there. *LOL*

      May 26, 2013 at 10:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Guin

    I’m pretty sure this note qualifies as aggressive, minus the passive part.

    May 26, 2013 at 10:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Cattail

      Isn’t leaving a note, rather than initiating a face-to-face confrontation (he could have identified the offender via security footage but chose not to, although finding the person isn’t always an option), a fairly passive way of dealing with an issue?

      May 28, 2013 at 5:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Jane

    I’m struggling to see the “passive” here…

    May 27, 2013 at 12:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Raichu

      Only that they didn’t say it to their face. That’s always the “passive”.

      May 30, 2013 at 10:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   fuzzbutt

    “fuck yourself with a shit face!” This shall be my new “scream” at people

    May 27, 2013 at 12:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Beatus Mongous

      And if I ever hear someone scream that, I’m going to respond with, “Same to you, Fuzzbutt!”

      May 28, 2013 at 4:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   kbee

      I was wondering what sort of slur “fuzzbutt” was, until I opened my eyes and read. Duh.

      May 29, 2013 at 1:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Pkay

    I’m assuming that the note writer believes that the offender is a contortionist with the “Go fuck yourself with your shit face” remark.

    May 27, 2013 at 1:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   kermit

      The offender will soon be a contortionist when they slip on the oil spill they didn’t clean up.

      May 27, 2013 at 7:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Kyle

    The building and suburb it is in has a large Korean population.

    Glad someone translated the Korean – I figured he’d put the Korean version into google translate and pasted the output for the English version – apparently not.

    There are security cameras facing the elevator doors, I’m curious if the reference to the camera means he’s part of building management and has access to it (maybe the cleaner?). Pretty unprofessional if so.

    May 27, 2013 at 2:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   eba

    It saddens me to see people in Australia using US English

    May 27, 2013 at 2:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   guest


      May 27, 2013 at 8:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   Dibs`

      Are you serious? It saddens you that they said ASSHOLE and not ARSEHOLE?

      That’s the part you find sad about this note? Aussies keeping it classy as usual!

      Sydney Ex-pat.

      May 28, 2013 at 7:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   kbee

      I’m an ex-pat Aussie. I use S instead of Z such as realise, but I’ll never say arse in place of ass, and I leave out the U in things like neighbor. Nobody on either side of the pond has pulled me up for it. The only time it’s caused issues is writing down a date — DD/MM versus MM/DD.

      I personally only care if your grammar and spelling is legible and acceptable in some official language.

      May 29, 2013 at 1:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   madrugada

    US English? How can you tell? I’ve always thought that Australians seemed pretty fucking fond of the word “FUCK” and all its motherfucking variations.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    May 27, 2013 at 5:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Amy

      I’m guessing from “asshole”. Australian and British English are similar and I think we both say “arsehole” instead.

      It might also be “motherfucker”. We Brits don’t really say it that much, so maybe Aussies don’t either? As in, it’s something some people say but it’s rarely our go-to when you just want an offensive thing to call someone. But I’m open to being corrected on that because I really don’t know.

      May 27, 2013 at 6:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   kermit

      Isn’t it really a matter of degree, though? Arsehole / asshole is much lower on the insult scale than motherfucker.

      May 27, 2013 at 7:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   Iwill FindU

      But if the note writer speaks English as a second language maybe they’ve picked up their swearing through movies. Motherfucker is a rather popular movie swear.

      May 27, 2013 at 10:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.4   Dana

      Asshole is more the american way of saying it as well. So he probably picked that up from the movies as well !

      We brits prefer Arsehole which is often shortened to Arse !

      May 27, 2013 at 3:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.5   eba

      In actual English, you know, the one spoken in commonwealth countries it’s Arse not Ass.

      But yeah, Motherfucker hadn’t been common here either ’til recently.

      May 28, 2013 at 1:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.6   a-Arialist

      @Kermit – even when it’s a matter of degree, motherfucker is a US expression. ‘Arsehole’ is a fairly strong thing to say, middle of the scale type of thing (lower would be dickhead, wanker etc) If we (and by ‘we’ I mean my fellow English people – Scottish and Welsh people have some other expressions) want to escalate ‘arsehole’ we’d usually just add ‘fucking’ in front of it (as with most things). Or, we’d probably go for the c word in place of motherfucker.

      And yeah, to a British person (or a Kiwi or Aussie) an ass is a wild donkey. The thing you sit on is your arse. Thus, when we say ‘why are you such a stubborn ass’ we mean ‘why are you such a stubborn donkey’, ‘arse’ being a different thing altogether (as in arsehole).

      May 29, 2013 at 6:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.7   kbee

      Getting my education from movies, I’m pretty sure it’s now known as motherlover.

      (Watching Die Hard on cable TV is a delight. “Yippe kai yay, muthaluva!”)

      May 29, 2013 at 1:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.8   The Elf

      Ever see AMC play “Blazing Saddles”? Might as well be “Silent Movie”.

      May 29, 2013 at 1:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   diogenes bang

    Tony Montana’s angry

    May 27, 2013 at 9:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   kaytan

    God I love Koreans. Their tempers make Irish look like kittens

    May 27, 2013 at 9:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Benny

    lol “im so mad im gonna write a bunch of swear words in broken English that will show them”

    May 27, 2013 at 10:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   jdaniel

    Hey, shit happens in every country. Don’t be offended. You did a nice thing, (whether or not it was your job).

    It’s the mofo’s who shit-spray the bathroom stall, then leave their underwear on the floor. For somebody else to clean up.

    May 28, 2013 at 1:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Beatus Mongous

      In one apartment I had, we have a community laundry area. Each tenant had a certain day they could use it, and it was right outside the door of my apartment. One day, I left my apartment to find the laundry area open. Inside was a pair of pants, and poop everywhere. It looked like someone exploded all over the place. I reported it, and I felt awful for the person who had to clean it.

      Although that person took three days to finally get to it, which just made it worse.

      May 28, 2013 at 4:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   KMacMurray

    The note writer is an artist. A mother. fucking. Artist.

    May 28, 2013 at 8:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   Lil'

    This cooking oil note just inspired me to tell you an awful story I heard from my coworker at lunch today . He was hanging out with his brother at the brother’s girlfriend’s house. I don’t know where the girlfriend was, but he needed oil to do something with a car part. He didn’t have any in his trunk, so he used her cooking oil as a substitute. It was in a big jug, and the plastic wasn’t see-through. He didn’t recap it or put it back in the kitchen. He says he just forgot. A couple of days later, the girlfriend had the boyfriend’s family over dinner. She made burgers and fries. She casually mentioned in ear shot of him that she couldn’t find the lid for her cooking oil. It occurred to him that it was in the garage…but then he recalled, so was the oil. He realized it had been uncovered for days in the garage, but she had just used it to cook fries. So he eased into the kitchen to check the oil. He was sure there would be dust and debris floating around inside. Well, when he looked inside what he actually found was a dead mouse. He called her into the kitchen to break the news quietly. She began sobbing. She was mortified because of the mouse, but also because this was her very first time meeting most of the family and she just served them these fries. He ran out into the dining area and announced that they shouldn’t eat the fries because “there’s a bit of a problem.” She stayed behind and continued to sob. The burgers were pretty good, though.

    May 28, 2013 at 1:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Beatus Mongous

      I’m sure the heat killed everything anyway, but that’s still pretty nasty.

      May 28, 2013 at 4:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.2   Iwill FindU

      She had her Anne of Green Gables moment, it just wasn’t the one she wanted.

      May 29, 2013 at 10:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Spanner

    No, Wrench. North Koreans call Korea “Choeson”. Hanguk is the South Korean term, and is valid and common to say “hanguk saram ieyo”.

    May 29, 2013 at 6:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   kaytan


      May 29, 2013 at 5:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Raichu

    u mad?

    May 30, 2013 at 10:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   guesst

    There’s that Delta Gamma sorority president again.

    Jun 12, 2013 at 2:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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