Dear appliance fairy…

← Over the (top) rainbow Sincerely, Plastic Bag →

May 28th, 2013 · 38 comments

This note — from Ulladulla, NSW — is for the Aussies who were disappointed by the lack of the word “arse” in Sunday’s post from Sydney.

related: No fridge ’til coffee!

FILED UNDER: Australia · garbage · sarcasm · thanks but no thanks

38 responses so far ↓

#1 kermit

For a second there I was trying to figure out what was NSFW about Ulladulla (besides superfluous L’s). Damn you Internet acronyms.

May 28, 2013 at 10:09 pm rating: 90

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- #1.1 Ermengarde
  
  “… north-southwest of what?…
  
  Oh. Never mind.”
  
  – brain, on every sighting of NSW
  
  May 29, 2013 at 11:29 am rating: 90
- #1.2 H for Toy
  
  Changing my name to New South for Whales…
  
  May 29, 2013 at 11:32 am rating: 90
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#2 nativefloridian

He needs to charge more than $25, as compensation for having to drag the stuff down to the dump himself. How much more depends on whether he wants a profit margin.

May 28, 2013 at 11:01 pm rating: 90

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#3 Mel

Haha. As someone living in NSW (New South Wales), I had to look up what NSFW meant. *embarrassed*

I’d be pretty upset with people leaving stuff on my lawn, too. But then my neighbours use my lawn as a parking lot. Not brave enough to leave a note about it though.

May 28, 2013 at 11:22 pm rating: 90

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- #3.1 Nana
  
  Tack strips are your friend.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 4:48 am rating: 90
- #3.2 redheadwglasses
  
  The force is strong in this Nana person. Listen to her.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 11:47 am rating: 90
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#4 SeeYouInTea

Our neighbors leave trash in our yard all the time. We have a garbage can on the side of the house, and it is always filled with their pizza boxes and beer cans. If it’s a holiday that begs for fireworks, we find shit tons of bottle rockets in our grass. We finally decided to just throw the shit back in their yards.

May 29, 2013 at 12:48 am rating: 90

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- #4.1 Laura
  
  Our neighbors had a bad habit of throwing their trash on our yard, too, so I would just pick it up and toss it back over the low wall between us. It only took a few times for them to catch on. Was it passive-aggressive of me? Probably, but why should I have to deal with their trash when they’re too lazy to walk the 10 steps to their own garbage can?
  
  May 29, 2013 at 9:04 am rating: 90
- #4.2 My name is Princess!
  
  Not the trashcan but the recycle bin. Which we could complain but were more impressed that a family other than ourselves are recycling as often as we are. However, it gets frustrating when there’s no room in our bin for our recyclables.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 9:29 am rating: 90
- #4.3 nativefloridian
  
  Most places will give them a second recycle bin. There may be a fee attached, though, in which case your dilemma probably continues.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 10:19 am rating: 90
- #4.4 L
  
  My yard has this random disgusting bucket, a ball that’s been out there since last fall (I didn’t get out into the backyard because we don’t use that door much and then it snowed for eight months), had a baseball that I threw out, and the first day we moved in, our neighbours decided to hop up on our roof to retrieve the frisbee they’d chucked up there.
  
  We’ve also had a couple pop boxes in the last week or so from the other side of the house. The neighbours on that side? A church.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 8:20 pm rating: 90
- #4.5 Jami
  
  Our neighbors don’t throw trash in our yard. However we’re near two liquor stores and three bars. On the weekends at 1 and 2 in the morning we get all sorts of young, drunken people walking down our streets, talking loudly. And in the morning I get to see beer cans, food wrappers, etc in our yard. Plus on Halloween and Christmas they love to mess with yard decorations. Making it look like the reindeer are humping, try to steal ghosts and skeletons, and so forth.
  
  I’m very close to asking for more police to be around at those times. Just to mess with the drunks.
  
  May 31, 2013 at 6:25 pm rating: 90
- #4.6 Jamie
  
  I had neighbours like that. At some point I ended up with their flyscreen window in my yard. They wanted that back a few days later, but i’d ‘misplaced’ it by then.
  
  Jun 1, 2013 at 1:22 am rating: 90
- #4.7 Hannah
  
  L: probably everyone at that church thinks that cleaning up your lawn is their pastor’s job.
  
  Jun 2, 2013 at 7:51 am rating: 90
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#5 Louisa

As an Aussie I must point out that the Ls are not superfluous. Without them it would be pronounced Oola Doola. And that would just be silly.

May 29, 2013 at 4:50 am rating: 90

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#6 Dane Zeller

I come here to learn about different cultures. Are there other swear words that differ in pronunciation? As in arse = ass? Do you Aussies say “shathead” instead of “shithead”?

May 29, 2013 at 7:29 am rating: 90

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- #6.1 kbee
  
  A Kiwi (person from New Zealand) might, or it’d be closer to shuthead. They are delightfully creative with their vowels; I love it. (YouTube the Beached Whale by Bean Pictures for a quick education on the Kiwi accent.)
  
  May 29, 2013 at 12:46 pm rating: 90
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#7 Tard

Infrared game camera.
Catches ‘em every time: faces, license plates…

May 29, 2013 at 8:29 am rating: 90

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- #7.1 Beatus Mongous
  
  Along with a DVR for the camera.
  
  Save all the crap, and then one day, just dump it in their driveway or somewhere that is extremely inconvenient to them.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 12:24 pm rating: 90
- #7.2 kbee
  
  As soon as you said that, Beatus, I found myself wishing the folks from 92 had a forklift.
  
  Imagine the litterbug’s surprise when they come outside and find a mattress, stove, old couch, kettle, microwave, broken black and white TV set etc. etc. perched up on their roof.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 12:48 pm rating: 90
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#8 The Elf

I love the cheek in this one! It won’t change anything, but I still love it. About the only thing you can do is hope to catch the neighbor in the act and then confront them. And even then…..

When the dump has a charge, stuff like this is inevitable. While I generally like fees per use over across the board taxes, the downside is that some people will do anything to escape the fee.

May 29, 2013 at 10:08 am rating: 90

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- #8.1 redheadwglasses
  
  This is why I’d like the costs of such services to be built into our taxes, so you don’t have to pay a fee to get rid of an old TV–to charge a fee encourages problems.
  
  I had to pay a small fortune when I downsized from a three story house to a two-bedrom condo. (I had a failure of a garage sale.)
  
  May 29, 2013 at 11:49 am rating: 90
- #8.2 kbee
  
  It’s been a while since I lived in Oz (WA), but from memory we got two free annual passes to the local rubbish dump for our big items. Should we need to make another visit to drop off stuff, that’s when the extra fee kicks in. Not to mention, there were additional scheduled council pickup days where you put out your large items on the curb and they’ll come around and pick it up. (Or thrify neighbors would get to it first, whichever.)
  
  They may be in an area that doesn’t have these benefits, but I certainly never had a problem with trash being dumped on lawns. This guy’s a douche.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 12:53 pm rating: 90
- #8.3 Beatus Mongous
  
  I take this stuff to my local recycler, and they pay me for it.
  
  However, if I take them to the main dump, they will charge me for it, and then sell the materials to the recycler.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 3:30 pm rating: 90
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#9 Iwill FindU

If these appliances still work why not save yourself the fee and take them to a second hand store, or even if they don’t call around and find a repair guy looking to buy old appliances for spare parts. See if you can’t turn a dollar off a stranger being a lazy asshole?

May 29, 2013 at 11:02 am rating: 90

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- #9.1 H for Toy
  
  Scrap yard at least. You don’t get much, but you don’t have to pay, either.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 11:34 am rating: 90
- #9.2 The Elf
  
  Because I have shit to do and I’d rather not waste the time on someone else’s trash.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 12:20 pm rating: 90
- #9.3 redheadwglasses
  
  Exactly right, The Elf.
  
  May 29, 2013 at 12:46 pm rating: 90
- #9.4 Iwill FindU
  
  If you have time to dink around on the interweb you have time to make a phone call.
  
  May 30, 2013 at 2:14 pm rating: 90
- #9.5 nut uh
  
  erm, how exactly does a phone call magically remove trash from one’s yard?
  
  May 31, 2013 at 5:22 pm rating: 90
- #9.6 Iwill FindU
  
  Because some 2nd hand stores and most repair guys looking for old appliances are willing to pick up those old appliances. So you make a phone call to track them down and tada old appliance is gone and if you sold it (to one of those repair guys) you get a few bucks.
  
  May 31, 2013 at 6:52 pm rating: 90
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#10 jj

same problems in rural USA, people dump appliances, mattresses, unwanted pets… I’d love to know where they live and redeposit it but they probably just rent and it’d just make landlords livid.

May 29, 2013 at 6:00 pm rating: 90

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- #10.1 mojacardave
  
  I don’t see the problem: making a landlord livid because some tenants’ (already dumped) stuff is dumped on his own porch is surely a good thing. That could maybe even get the tenant evicted.
  
  May 31, 2013 at 5:55 am rating: 90
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#11 So

In the UK if you leave something like a washing machine or fridge out the front then someone will take it. There are scrap vans that will just turn up and take this stuff away.

May 30, 2013 at 11:53 am rating: 90

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- #11.1 Beatus Mongous
  
  We have people like that in Vegas, too.
  
  May 30, 2013 at 12:32 pm rating: 90
- #11.2 toxxic
  
  I get a guy i found advertising on facebook. I just dump the stuff out the front before work and it’s gone when i get home. I bet most areas with a scrap yard will have some one on buy/swap/sell sites who will pick up your junk.
  
  May 31, 2013 at 10:09 am rating: 90
- #11.3 Beatus Mongous
  
  You lost me at “pick up your junk.” Sorry, but I found that rather sensual.
  
  May 31, 2013 at 11:27 am rating: 90
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