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Meanwhile, at the Ministry of Magic…

May 30th, 2013 · 35 comments

“Obviously there’s something I’ve been missing all these years,” says Marg (a muggle, clearly), who spotted this notice in the restroom at Melbourne’s Flinders Street Station.

Lift out of order

Meanwhile, in the elevator of Lauren’s building in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada…

Before you let your dog, your friend, your date, your coworker or your casual aquaintances rock a piss in this elevatore, please consider this: its gross. Like, really, ewwww. Am I right? Okay then. I just hosted my own private VIM party in here and its not as fun as it sounds. Mmkay?

related: Yer a wiseass, Harry

FILED UNDER: elevator · Melbourne · piss · toilet · WTF?

35 responses so far ↓

  • #1   SeeYouInTea

    Just use the fireplace.

    May 30, 2013 at 8:06 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

  • #2   H for Toy

    Clearly whoever is in charge of the office here is a real Scrooge.

    “Listen, I don’t care that it only takes 10 seconds and a fraction of a cent to print a new sign. Just reuse the sign from the elevator that got fixed Tuesday.”

    May 30, 2013 at 8:15 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Red Delicious

      That, or the janitor’s Polish, and UK English isn’t his first language. (It happens.)

      May 30, 2013 at 8:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Kat

      Why Polish?

      May 30, 2013 at 9:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   H for Toy

      Yes, I’d like to point out that my grandparents were Polish, and learned UK English from nuns in India, but still knew it well enough to do the New York Times crossword puzzle. I’m not saying all non-native English speakers know the language that well, I’m just saying the Polish ones do ;)

      May 30, 2013 at 9:24 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   orogomait

      @H for Toy

      thanks for sharing charming stories about your Polish grandparents, please share more, everyone loves to hear stories about your Polish grandparents

      May 30, 2013 at 11:28 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   Snowflame

      Probably because Polish is the second most common spoken language in the UK after English, so statistically if English isn’t his first language, it’s most likely to be Polish.

      May 31, 2013 at 2:17 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   Chris

      As stated in the intro, this is in Flinders Street Station. It’s a railway station in Melbourne, Australia, not an office in the UK.
      The cleaner is more likely to be Asian, Indian or African.

      May 31, 2013 at 3:05 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   Red Delicious

      What Snowflame said. Because it’s a statistic, not just something I threw out there, and because I didn’t read the description.

      May 31, 2013 at 3:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.8   Crystal

      Is that comment about H’s grandparents a passive aggressive comment?

      I actually DO love to hear stories about H’s Polish grandparents. No passive or aggressive.

      May 31, 2013 at 9:01 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #2.9   redheadwglasses

      Same here, Crystal! And then I think of the most I”ve ever seen of Poland outside of WWII footage: The movie trilogy “Red,” “White,” and “Blue.”

      May 31, 2013 at 11:12 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.10   H for Toy

      Didn’t realize that, Red Delicious. You learn something new everyday.

      Crystal and redhead, I’d tell you all about how they made it from Poland to India, via Siberia, but it’s not really relevant to this conversation, so I’ll wait until someone to mentions concentration camps, or treks through Eastern Europe.

      May 31, 2013 at 2:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.11   domnito

      Thanks Chris, I was getting confused where they pulled Polish from, such a specific choice for a Melbourne PA.

      Jun 1, 2013 at 11:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #3   Eileen

    No need to leave a tip.

    May 30, 2013 at 8:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #4   diogenes bang

    This being the case, please tell me we’re not pissing in the elevator.

    May 30, 2013 at 8:46 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Mel-K

      This explains a lot. The lifts at Flinders St Station smell of urine too. I am not surprised that anyone would confuse one for the other.

      May 31, 2013 at 6:51 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Dane Zeller

      No, because there’s a sign on the elevator that the johnny is out of order.

      May 31, 2013 at 8:14 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #5   Ermengarde bang

    It’s an acrostic.

    May 30, 2013 at 9:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   H for Toy

      Little Island For Toiletpaper? Yeah, it’s late. I got nothin.

      May 30, 2013 at 9:25 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Ermengarde bang

      It is late and I did have “acronym” up there before edit kicked in. *dons article of clothing as a single unit*

      May 30, 2013 at 9:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   H for Toy

      Haha I kinda miss the unitard :)

      May 30, 2013 at 10:12 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #6   thrall

    Lift your skirts?

    May 30, 2013 at 10:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #7   VM

    A warning the toilet seat won’t go up? (I know that with a Marg reporting it’s likely to be a bathroom for the sex that doesn’t require that, but there’s been times I’ve chosen to squat on the naked porcelain rather than hover or be bedewed by the droplets of hoverers gone before.)

    May 30, 2013 at 11:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #8   Franske

    You know, “lift” is also a Dutch word meaning “elevator”. So it could be another language…
    So we can actually make jokes about “Schindler’s lift” since they make some :)

    May 31, 2013 at 4:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #9   CG bang

    Do you even lift? *Sorry, I got nothing.

    May 31, 2013 at 7:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Hannah

      If I ever stumble upon an elevator that doesn’t work, I’ll leave a sign that says, “Doesn’t even lift.”

      For you!

      Jun 2, 2013 at 7:26 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #10   Captain Hampton

    It actually does work, but only if you bring tacos and do a little daaaance.

    May 31, 2013 at 9:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #11   Beatus Mongous

    I’d just hang a Do Not Disturb sign on the handle.

    May 31, 2013 at 11:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #12   matt

    This elevator only goes to the basement! And somebody made an awful mess down there…

    May 31, 2013 at 11:15 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Captain Hampton

      I like your reference better than mine.

      May 31, 2013 at 12:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #13   Madrias

    So you’re telling me that attempting to flush myself down this particular toilet might actually result in me arriving at the Ministry of Magic, even though I won’t remember it after?

    May 31, 2013 at 2:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #14   Scott

    What you see there is a sign, not signage. Why use a made up word that conveys nothing more than the sense you write manuals for the government?

    Jun 1, 2013 at 10:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #15   Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    My friends, co-workers, dates and casual acquaintances don’t generally seek my permission before pissing, so I’m not sure I can really be held responsible for having ‘let’ them piss anywhere.

    Jun 12, 2013 at 6:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #16   dissagah

    Бесплатные промокоды интернет магазинов: Бонприкс, Ламода, Ив Роше, Некст и др. Скидка 686 рублей!Требуется ввод промо-кода промокод kupivip 10 январь

    Apr 20, 2015 at 6:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   The Elf

      Avada Kedavra! (waves wand decisively).

      Damn. Didn’t work. Spam must be unkillable.

      Apr 20, 2015 at 1:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up