Wake up, Mixer. You’re in the Matrix.

June 4th, 2013 · 31 comments

Oh look, another sentient kitchen appliance. This time, with allergies.

Please clean me when you get me dirty! I'm allergic to crusty waffle batter/potatoes...it makes me itchy and irritable...I don't like it. Ahh! A talking Mixer!! There is mixer; there is only Zuul! Silence! I kill you! <3 The Mixer Wake up, Mixer. You're in the Matrix.

(As spotted by Julie in her Provo, Utah college cafeteria.)

related: The very needy dishwasher

FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · kitchen · Provo · smartass


31 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Nunavut Guy

    Since I have nothing to say I will await the next persons response.

    Jun 4, 2013 at 9:54 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Nunavut Guy

      Jun 4, 2013 at 9:59 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   H for Toy

    Crusty waffle can be itchy I hear.

    Jun 4, 2013 at 10:29 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Ermengarde bang

      aaand there it is.

      Jun 4, 2013 at 10:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   H for Toy

      Somebody was going to say it.

      Jun 5, 2013 at 9:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Jdaniel

      But Blue Waffle is contagious

      Jun 5, 2013 at 9:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   girlwithknife

    What is a mixer?

    Jun 4, 2013 at 10:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   FeRD bang

      It’s a painfully forced and uncomfortable social gathering among strangers, but that’s not important right now.

      Jun 5, 2013 at 4:57 am   rating: 61  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Rose

    Look on the bright side. It could have been complaining about yeast. At least it had the decency to say “potatoes.”

    Jun 4, 2013 at 11:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Jami

    If anyone here makes one single blue waffle joke may they be cursed to forever hear Rebecca Black singing the hits of Lady Gaga.

    Jun 4, 2013 at 11:39 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Beatus Mongous

      How about a triple blue waffle joke?

      Jun 5, 2013 at 4:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Tesselara

      I didn’t know what that was, (I thought it was the name of a song or something) so I looked it up. And hoax or no, now I’ll never sleep again.

      Jun 5, 2013 at 7:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Jami

      That’s why I look those things up on Wikipedia because that way you don’t have a picture to haunt your dreams.

      Jun 5, 2013 at 10:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Liz

    Wow! That is one passive-aggressive mixer. In the time it took for that mixer to learn how to type the note, print it out, and tape it on itself, it could have just cleaned itself off.

    Jun 5, 2013 at 1:22 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   redheadwglasses

      Ha! I love this post!

      Jun 5, 2013 at 9:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   H for Toy

    But seriously, this is an commercial mixer, presumably used to mix all the cafeteria food, and it doesn’t get cleaned on a regular basis?!

    Jun 5, 2013 at 7:19 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Tesselara

    The 30 seconds spent writing those notes was the only good thing about the food service work study that day. Or any day. Ever.

    Jun 5, 2013 at 8:32 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Ely North

    I’ve been inspired: I’m making potato-waffles for breakfast.

    Jun 5, 2013 at 9:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   redheadwglasses

    The best/easiest way to clean a mixer: Wipe it off with a damp cloth/paper towel while whatever is on it is still moist.

    THe second best/second easiest way to clean a mixer: Let someone else do it days later.

    Jun 5, 2013 at 9:17 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   kermit

      Argh…can’t you just dunk the dirty bits into really hot/boiling water instead? That should get the batter off quite easily.

      Jun 5, 2013 at 10:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   redheadwglasses

      Not with a commercial grade mixer — it’s too big to dunk into anything. I have a standing mixer and two hand mixers, and it’s the underside of the top portion (the area in which the beaters go) gets the dirtiest.

      Jun 5, 2013 at 11:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   kermit

      Get the cat to lick it off. That’s my lazy solution :)

      Jun 5, 2013 at 1:18 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Raichu

      Or, if it was cake batter, get the human to lick it off :D

      Jun 6, 2013 at 11:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   pooham

      I’d let my cat lick it clean, but it’s an outside only cat.

      Jun 6, 2013 at 2:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Jenny

    Hahaha bonus points for the mixer’s Ghostbuster reference. :D

    Jun 5, 2013 at 10:33 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      Whatever you do, DO NOT CROSS THE MIXES!

      Jun 5, 2013 at 1:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Dane Zeller

    Hobart. Wasn’t he a character in some weird Alfred Hitchcock movie?

    Jun 5, 2013 at 11:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   FeRD bang

      Also, Bart Simpson during his regrettable gigolo years. (Hey, college don’t pay for itself!)

      Jun 5, 2013 at 9:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Tard

    Wait a second, that’s *not* crusty waffle batter!
    Ewwwwww!!

    Jun 5, 2013 at 4:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Amber

    Oh my gosh, that’s the mixer at my work! I love it! I seriously LOLed when I recognized the mixer and the sign XD Although I have never seen those other signs before… they must have been removed.

    Jul 12, 2013 at 9:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Accuctjiplito

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    Jan 4, 2014 at 8:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up