Free creamer!

June 26th, 2013 · 43 comments

Writes our submitter in Florida: “My husband walked into his office breakroom to find this note. He immediately went back to his desk to write a response, but by the time he made it back to the fridge, he found that someone else had beat him to it.”

If you want to borrow my creamer PLEASE ask!!! Do not take it upon yourself to take it!!!

FREE CREAMER! Just grab out of bag

related: Coffee, mate?

FILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · Florida · office fridge · smartass

43 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Tard

    Just place a snapshot of the owner licking the container spout, nobody will touch it.
    Works with everything: pudding cups, whatever.

    Jun 26, 2013 at 4:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   jen

      nope there will always be the jackass who will one up you. but you probably won’t see the response pictures until after you’ve eaten your pudding…

      ……. D:

      Jun 26, 2013 at 4:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Fnuh

      I realize that this would be way over the top and grounds for termination, but I think I would be sorely tempted to attach another picture underneath the first one – of my penis in the spout.

      It’s easy to one-up someone if you have no limits, and you never know who does and who doesn’t.

      Same reason I don’t use bumper stickers. Eventually some asshole who disagrees with me will key my car.

      Jun 26, 2013 at 5:04 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Fnuh

      Looks like I just proved Jen’s point!

      Jun 26, 2013 at 5:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   jdaniel

      If you want to get along with everyone, never have an opinion on anything. But that is just my opinion.

      Jun 26, 2013 at 5:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   Snowflame

      Oh, man, I really hate those people who don’t have opinions. ;)

      Jun 26, 2013 at 5:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   Eyewitless

      “Attention: All male employees report to the break room for an ID line up…”

      Jun 26, 2013 at 7:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.7   pooham

      I have a bumper sticker and my car has never been keyed. But it only reads “I <3 MY CATS"

      Jun 27, 2013 at 9:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.8   JN

      But see, I hate cats. All cats. Especially your cats. Pray that I don’t see your car.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 11:03 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #1.9   The Elf

      My cat follows this logic. If he licks it, it’s his. He’ll look straight at me while he does it too, the little bastard.

      Joke’s on him, though. I don’t care. I’m just hoping he doesn’t take Fnuh’s advice.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 11:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.10   redheadwglasses

      I drove a red pickup with a bunch of pro-gay stickers on the back. We added the stickers when we used the truck to give rides to mobility-impaired people in the back when the truck was part of the PFLAG group (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, in the Twin Cities pride parade (the largest pride festival west of Chicago — even larger than San Francisco’s!).

      She never got keyed. But I did get pulled over by cops for no reason (one even admitted, he just pulled me over for the heck of it, no reason). And some dipshits tried to run me off the road one night while making the tongue-between-the-fingers-making-the-V gesture.

      Now I drive a boring beige four-door camry and no way in hell am I putting bumper stickers on it.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 11:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.11   redheadwglasses

      Elf: My cat has started licking the nylon cubes that they play in and run through. I can hear it in bed in the morning. Weirdos, they are.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 11:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.12   Seanette

      I used to have a cat who would lick my sock. While I was wearing it.

      My current cat is very fond of washing my hands for me.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 10:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.13   Parker

      Redhead, people still make that gesture? I thought it was something only 12-year-old boys did. In the 80′s.

      Jun 28, 2013 at 11:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.14   Nunavut Guy

      Cats! We always seem to center on cats!

      Mine is named Tina Turner by the way,and she is a nasty little cow.

      Jun 28, 2013 at 7:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Woman on the Verge bang

    Use Comic Sans on the Note. That will scare off pretty much everyone.

    Jun 26, 2013 at 5:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Dawn J

      I love comic sans

      Jun 26, 2013 at 7:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   The Elf

      It’s okay, Dawn. We all have our little flaws.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 11:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Hattiemae1

    Free Kramer. Michael Richards gave him a bad rap.

    Jun 26, 2013 at 5:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   weed store

      lol kramer sounds like creamer. ^— +1 would lol again

      Jun 26, 2013 at 9:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   redheadwglasses

      I chuckled! : )

      Jun 27, 2013 at 7:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   H for Toy

    I always wonder when people ask to “borrow” something consumable; food, toilet paper, cigarettes. Are you gonna return it when you’re done? “Hey, can I borrow your creamer? I need a date for my buddy’s wedding this weekend.”

    Jun 26, 2013 at 6:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Esmeralda

      My roommate once asked me if I had any condoms she could borrow. Eeewww.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 9:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   H for Toy

      Exactly the kind of thing you don’t want back when they’re done with it!

      Jun 27, 2013 at 11:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   redheadwglasses

    Since we rarely seem to have ketchup packets at work (we have a basket of condiment packets in the fridge), I bought my own bottle of ketchup. I wrote my name and added “I lick the nozzle.” (I don’t, actually.) I accept that by having a bottle of ketchup in the fridge, even labeled with my name, others will use it. I just wanted to cut back on that usage a bit so it would last a little longer. People actually ask me if they can have some (I’m always fine with sharing when asked, it’s the taking without asking that fries my PJs).

    Jun 27, 2013 at 7:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   H for Toy

      Mmm… Fried PJs with ketchup.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 8:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Tom

    Just no winning in this office.
    They eat your food when you don’t label it, and make fun of/sabotage you when you do label it.

    Jun 27, 2013 at 10:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   The Elf

    Again, I must take this moment to prosletyze about the joys of the insulated bag with the cold pack, kept at the desk. You can bring in a little tupperware container of coffee creamer every day and have no worries that somebody licked the spout.

    Jun 27, 2013 at 11:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   spoko bang

      Assuming you’re willing to bring it in every single day. In which case, I have to wonder why you bother with the cold pack etc. A couple of hours in a small container isn’t gonna hurt it, and a half-dozen such small containers would be cheaper (and easier to carry, one at a time) than your insulated whatever.

      Jun 28, 2013 at 8:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   The Elf

      Well, I usually bring a whole lunch and selection of snacks, so the cold pack’s handy for that. While I don’t need to chill down milk just for the couple of hours it is outside the fridge to get to work and put it in my morning coffee, there are those that are terrified that dairy products spoil instantly. So I mentioned the cold pack to forestall that argument. I like to put whatever I’m bringing inside a bag – and an insulated one is just handy in addition to keeping all my snacks chilled – because it makes for easier transport and clean-up in case of spills. There’s nothing worse than getting to work and discovering your beef and barley soup lunch has spilled all over your work clothes and book.

      Jun 28, 2013 at 10:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Ann

    I don’t eat out of our office fridge at all, so I have no experience with this stuff, but jeez, people are assholes about other people’s food. Having said which, I noticed something in our freezer that I *think* was left there by a departed intern. In my book, that makes it fair game. Maybe I’ll go lick it.

    Jun 27, 2013 at 11:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   redheadwglasses

      After a wave of layoffs earlier this year, I enjoyed a couple of Lean Cuisines that got left behind. : )

      Jun 27, 2013 at 11:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   rushgirl2112

      When I was an executive assistant, I was in charge of cleaning out the fridge. I didn’t bother with the freezer until it got so full that nothing else could fit. Then I sent an email letting everyone know that everything that was still in there the following Friday at 5pm would be removed and set out in the breakroom for anyone to take.

      We had quite a number of things left, and quite a number of people coming in to grab free food. I got a few nice frozen dinners myself. :)

      Jun 27, 2013 at 5:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Lee

    People are so amazingly immature that I’m starting to think all cubicles should come with their own locked mini fridge.

    Jun 27, 2013 at 1:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   nobody

    Sorry, putting a “Help yourself” sign on something that doesn’t belong to you is an absolutely dick move.

    Jun 27, 2013 at 4:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   JoDa

    Team first note-writer. He not only brought it in, but put it in a separate bag in the fridge. That means someone saw his “lunch” bag and decided “hey, let me see what’s hanging out in here that I can eat.”

    PS…I finally caught our office food thief using much the same technique. I put my food in a re-usable shopping bag, told everyone *I’m* friendly with that it was my stuff and they should alert me if they saw someone messing with it, and “dropped by” the kitchen every time I happened to walk past (my job requires walking all over the building, coming back to my office briefly in between appointments, so that’s anywhere from 5-12 times a day). Finally walked in last week to creepy old guy with my bag out on the counter, making some coffee. I looked at him and was like, “organic milk, huh? You have high standards.” Thing was, the milk was still in the bag, so it was obvious it was mine since I knew what was in the bag. Unfortunately for him, I was still in the doorway, so all he could do was claim that he didn’t get it out while I told him off…no escape, douche, and if a Diet Coke comes missing again, I now know whose cube to go to to reclaim it. Out of principle, I will drink the rest of it while loudly thanking him for opening it for me. Passive-aggressive? Sure. Worth it? Uh-huh. Prescription for antibiotics…thankfully they’re free at my pharmacy.

    Jun 27, 2013 at 9:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Jen

    Just out of interest, what is creamer?

    Jun 28, 2013 at 7:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   spoko bang

      I’ll assume you’re not joking, and this is a culture-specific term. It’s the stuff you put in coffee. Typically half-milk/half-cream, so a lot of times we just call it half-and-half. But it also comes in all kinds of other varieties (flavored, soy-based, etc.), so “creamer” is the generic term for them all.

      Jun 28, 2013 at 9:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Jen

      Thanks Spoko.

      Jun 28, 2013 at 11:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   cjr


    Jun 28, 2013 at 9:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   diogenes bang

    Nah, you got it all wrong. Turn this unfortunate situation into a sort of mold ipecac challenge. Draw straws to see who eats what, and the last one to yack wins; just understand you’ll all be losers. And make sure your group health coverage is tight.

    Jun 29, 2013 at 7:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Raichu

    Wow, what a dick move. 0.0

    Jun 30, 2013 at 10:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   warns

    It’s wrong. But it’s funny. All you need to do us put your name on it, not a dramatic elaborate note, that’s what brings in the “jokesters”.

    Jul 2, 2013 at 4:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


Comments are Closed