Please take your pants out of the window

July 11th, 2013 · 54 comments

“Every once in awhile,” writes Sarah in San Diego, “some disgruntled person in my condo building slides a (always unsigned) note under my door declaring their fury at some minor offense. This is the latest.”

Pls take your pants out of the window. This is a holiday! Everyone is laughing. Thank you.

“For the record,” Sarah adds, “said pants were bright-pink Lilly Pulitzer circa 1985; put near a window to dry — I don’t trust my thrift shop purchases to just any dryer — and I think only added to the general festivity of July 4th as they fluttered in the cross breeze!”

related: Sentimental pants

FILED UNDER: neighbors · San Diego


54 responses so far ↓

  • #1   jodie

    If I was Sarah, I would tape every stupid note to the outside of my front door.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 12:21 am   rating: 62  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   dragon bang

      With a big red “NO!” scrawled across each.

      Jul 11, 2013 at 7:36 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Scuba Girl

    But I’m not wearing any pants!

    Jul 11, 2013 at 12:27 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   The Elf

      Yes, let’s all take a moment to be thankful that the Notewriter is only seeing “vintage”* pants! Oh, Notewriter, you have no idea how much worse it can get. Let Sarah show you, over a period of months.

      * It ain’t vintage if I remember the year. That’s my rule and I’m sticking to it.

      Jul 11, 2013 at 2:12 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Beatus Mongous

      She’s wearing a skirt, instead.

      Jul 11, 2013 at 3:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Tard

    I’d hang those pants out Every. Single. Day.
    Forever.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 12:32 am   rating: 47  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   shawn

    Who is “evranyone”?

    Jul 11, 2013 at 12:57 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Ziaheart

      I read that as evonyone. 8D

      Jul 11, 2013 at 1:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Gladystopia

      Oh!!! The note was CLEARLY written by the ghost of Evon Y One–famous American patriot and outlawer of pink thrift-store pants. Now it makes PERFECT sense!

      Jul 11, 2013 at 1:52 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   BDC

      I read it as “ev@nyone.” Which, when you say it aloud, kind of sounds like an acne medication.

      Jul 16, 2013 at 6:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Anon

    Well, obviously everyone’s laughing because you have them hanging incorrectly, OP. It’s a holiday! Get them out of the window and up a flagpole like normal people. Geeze.

    And then use said flagpole to dig out the one lodged inside the notewriter’s arse.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 4:45 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   redheadwglasses

    I read the note three times (because I couldn’t figure out the big deal). Plants in a window? Laughing? This person is crazy. Why would she take plants out of a window simply because it’s a holiday?

    OH, PANTS!!! Oh, same response. Who cares? WHo cares enough to laugh about it? To leave a note? Only small-minded people who don’t realize there’s free pr0n on their computer. Because I’d choose free internet porn over writing this note.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 7:49 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   H for Toy

      Good point. I’m going to leave a PAN for my neighbor to suggest some quality time with his computer. I think I’ve mentioned him before, but he doesn’t work, and he literally spends his day driving around town to find things he doesn’t like, then he reports them to the town officials. They’ve said he calls at least once a day. I’m so glad we’re moving!

      Jul 11, 2013 at 10:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Beatus Mongous

      Where are you going, Toy?

      Jul 11, 2013 at 3:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   H for Toy

      Just moving locally, but we’ll be about 10 miles away, so I hope we’ll be out of his “jurisdiction.”

      Jul 11, 2013 at 3:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   zephyr

      Is your neighbor religious? If so, I’ve got a Bible verse that might shut him up for a while.

      2 Thessalonians 3: 11-12 (King James Version, in case he’s a fundie)

      11 For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. 12 Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread.

      Jul 11, 2013 at 9:05 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   H for Toy

      Awesome, zephyr! No, his wife goes to church (and works), but he just either stays home and manicures his lawn with scissors, or drives around town.

      Jul 12, 2013 at 6:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   H for Toy

    Maybe Sarah should hang something obnoxious in the window, like a neon Budweiser sign. The neighbor will be longing for the good ol’ days when it was only pink pants.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 7:55 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   spacenomyous bang

    Dear Notewriter,
    I apologize for hanging my pants where Ev@ryone can see. I will make sure I fly my POW*MIA flag in the window to remind Ev@ryone that the holidays are no time for laughing and to ensure they respect the somber occasion that it is.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 7:59 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   dmf

      “Please stop bringing joy to the world with your laughter-inducing actions!” -Notewriter

      Jul 11, 2013 at 9:48 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   H for Toy

    Sarah, between your daring fashion choices, and your sense of humor, you sound like a fun person. Wave your pants with pride!

    Jul 11, 2013 at 8:02 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Jami

    I want to see these pants and see if they’re as funny as the note writer says.

    Actually, Sarah, if I were you, I’d go out and buy a bunch of thrift store pants that are of really loud designs/colors. Better still, a slew of brightly colored granny panties! Then sew them all together as a flag and fly it out your window.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 8:45 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   redheadwglasses

      YES!

      Jul 11, 2013 at 11:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Beatus Mongous

      I wear your grandma’s clothes.
      I look incredible.
      I’m in these pink ass pants,
      from the thrift shop down the road.

      You go, Sarah!

      Jul 11, 2013 at 3:33 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Incunabulum

    ‘Every once in awhile,” writes Sarah in San Diego, “some disgruntled person in my condo building slides a (always unsigned) note under my door declaring their fury at some minor offense. ‘

    Yah know dear, that might be an indication that the problem is *you*.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 9:38 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Snicklefritz

      @Incunabulum – Methinks you might be the mystery note writer.

      If so, then ANON has a flagpole for you. Use it wisely.

      Jul 11, 2013 at 10:11 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   FeRD bang

      Yeah, but Inctoolongtotranscribe might have a point. If Sarah’s the only one receiving these notes, and/or they’re from different neighbors, then maybe the offenses aren’t as “minor” as she thinks.

      OTOH, if the situation is what I suspect — that this is all the work of one insane, busybody neighbor, and a similar barrage of notes is inflicted on every other resident in the building (and the note’s claim about “everyone” laughing is a good indicator of this; as I said on the neon-sign PAN, busybody notewriters presume to speak for the group) — then Sarah and her neighbors are all suffering from one person’s crazy, and the only thing that might help is ANON’s flagpole idea.

      Jul 11, 2013 at 2:25 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Jami

      Some people, Incuna, just like causing trouble for no reason. Like the fellow H mentioned or the contractor I’ve talked about before who constantly reports code violations that are just exagerations – like saying a trailer has been in the front yard a month when it’s only been out there 6 hours. Or that someone is “storing broken bikes” in their front yard when they just have two chained up next to their garage for less than 24 hours.

      Jul 13, 2013 at 5:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   jj

    You can only dry red, white or blue clothes on July 4th, everyone knows this. : )

    I think the note writer needs to get a life and get out more away from the apartments.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 9:42 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   dmf

    I don’t understand. Why does note-writer want to stop all the laughters? WHY DOES (S)HE HATE JOY.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 9:47 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   VM

    In the condos where I live, it’s against the rules to put clothes up to dry in the patios or otherwise visible to the outside. I wouldn’t get a PAN, I’d get a badly Xeroxed form with WARNING !!!! in big letters on top stating I’ll be fined if I do it again.

    It’s also against the rules to have anything but white, beige or cream-colored window coverings. I once got cited because at night the light shining though my cream curtains made ‘em think they were yellow! Pulitzer-pink pants would have made their eyes ‘splode.

    (PS – this isn’t a snotty ritzy place, either, it’s very down-market; that makes the HOA even crazier, redoubling their efforts in sheer denial.)

    Jul 11, 2013 at 10:38 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Chefgirl

      Do we live in the same condo? Seattle-area?

      Jul 11, 2013 at 7:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   VM

      I’m in Santa Ana, CA. But I think these kind of restrictions are not uncommon…which made me a little surprised that our San Diego condoista only has to deal with jeering neighbors with legal pads.

      Jul 11, 2013 at 9:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   JoDa

      This makes me ever so glad for my only slightly insane HOA. They proposed a rule about window treatments being only white, and I went in there hopping mad and ready to fight (especially since I have REALLY EXPENSIVE custom curtains that are NOT white), only to find that they meant BLINDS and are just nincompoops when it comes to “legal” stuff.

      Jul 12, 2013 at 6:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Ethel

    Were those pants ever a thing except for the post-menopausal in the ’80s?

    Jul 11, 2013 at 11:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   redheadwglasses

    My coworker just told me that his brother’s HOA has decided to DNA test all unpicked-up dog poop in the HOA, so they can find and fine the owners. But… how is that supposed to work? THen you have to DNA test all the dogs. And it’s not a gated community (heck, it’s just Edina, Minnesota), so I could live across the street from the HOA, and walk my dog on their property and leave dog poop behind, and they wouldn’t have access to my dog to test it. WTH? DNA tests run about $500 last I heard. How much money are they going to spend? Wouldn’t it be cheaper to just quietly hire someone to pick up the dog poop left behind (quietly so no one RELIES on it; you don’t want people just leaving the poo there b/c they know Joe will be making the rounds tomorrow).?

    Jul 11, 2013 at 11:39 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Gladystopia

      I think that would be an EXCELLENT opportunity for an enterprising covert-ops kind of guy or gal…sneaking poop from the neighbors’ doggy-bags, then salting the area with false doggie DNA on poop-gathering day…like a slanderous dog-poop for hire organization.

      Of course, I may just have…issues.

      Jul 12, 2013 at 12:15 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Chinchillazilla

      DNA tests are actually very cheap. In recent years, various companies have popped up that will do them pretty cheaply for you, but if you have the knowledge and equipment already, you can do it very cheaply on your own.

      I’m pretty sure there’s at least one company that strictly tests dog poop for this very situation, anyway. I think the idea is you get a sample of DNA from every dog that moves in, and then you have the DNA on file so you can check it against any mysterious poops. Which I love, because people went all CSI about such a dumb issue.

      Jul 12, 2013 at 2:45 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Kimberly

      This may be a threat akin to “there is a chemical in the pool that turns your pee purple”.

      Jul 15, 2013 at 1:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Beatus Mongous

      Can you get animal DNA from its poop? Methinks that would be rather difficult.

      Jul 17, 2013 at 6:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   The Elf

    Putting your pants by the window to dry is not a crime. Buying bright-pink pants from 1985 should be. I lived through the 80s. Once should be enough for some fashions.

    Jul 11, 2013 at 2:05 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Jami

      But what if Sarah is preparing early for Halloween? I know I’m already shopping for Minnie’s & my costumes. (Finding female vampire costumes for humans is easy. Not so much for dogs. I can’t even find a plain black dress for cheap I could doctor up.)

      What? We’ve been The Doctor (Minnie) and the TARDIS (me) two years in a row now. This year I want us to be vampires.

      Maybe Sarah’s planning on being an 80s zombie!

      Jul 11, 2013 at 8:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   redheadwglasses

      Jami, I”ve started my halloween costume idea as well! I”m going ot be crazy cat lady with the help of some stuffed pound purries! : )

      Jul 12, 2013 at 12:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Jami

      Yay! That sounds great, Red. Generic CCL or the one from The Simpsons?

      Jul 12, 2013 at 5:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Kimberly

      Also, 80′s high waisted shorts. No. Just no. I think they are designed to maximize FUPA. I was in Chicago and saw hundreds of girls in short, high waisted shorts with little cropped tops. There was not one, not a one, that I thought actually pulled it off.

      Jul 15, 2013 at 1:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Pkay

    Just for arguments sake, do you think she’d get a similar response if she put the pink pants on and waved her butt in front of the window?

    Jul 11, 2013 at 10:58 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Paula K

    Cheese and rice. HOAs sound like a nightmare. I much prefer my own home that wasn’t built on a graveyard & I can decorate as I f*cking well please. Ugh.

    Jul 12, 2013 at 8:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Tea-Rex

    Dear entitled hipsters,
    Just stop.

    Jul 12, 2013 at 9:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   sm

    I DEMAND A PIC OF THE PANTS!!!

    Jul 12, 2013 at 3:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Raichu

    Everyone is laughing! It’s funny! You’re being amusing, SO STOP! *grumble*

    Jul 15, 2013 at 1:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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