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People should no

July 21st, 2013 · 37 comments

Rob lives in a seaside town in the U.K. He and several other neighbo(u)rs recently received versions of this handwritten note, seemingly written by an ex-employee of a hot dog stall at a nearby fairground.

Writes Rob: “It’s not quite clear who the notewriter is or exactly what the problem is. Is it the hot dogs? It is the van? Is it the terrible grammar? It is the writer responsible for the ‘handling’ of the ‘disgusting’ food? Who is the mysterious friend who was ill for 3 weeks? What is it that people should ‘no’?”

Mrs Shearan and her daughter own a hot hot dog & burger van at the fair ground, I worked.  For them, and found the handling of the food was disgusting they have been warned, if you visit them this easter they are not what they seem next to the hot dog & burger van they have a childrens amusement their name is on the van,  (people should no [sic] about them iff [sic] they have children, my friend was ill for 3 weeks)

related: Small-town swimming pool rules

FILED UNDER: food · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · U.K.

37 responses so far ↓

  • #1   H for Toy bang

    They have a children’s what? Ammonia?

    Jul 21, 2013 at 4:40 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   NoAdditives


      Jul 21, 2013 at 4:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   jessica

      Amusement. Well, “ammusement.”

      Jul 21, 2013 at 5:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   KittenPlaysTheViolin

      It just says ammusme. There is no letter n or t. Maybe they were cut off. I don’t feel so bad about the American education system after seeing a note like this come from the UK. ;)

      Jul 22, 2013 at 1:33 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #2   Kathryn

    If and only if they have children?

    Jul 21, 2013 at 4:53 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #3   Louis

    I think I may have figured out what they’re saying. It sounds like he’s warning the residents about the owners of the hot dog stand; he’s saying their handling of the food is disgusting, as evidenced by his friend’s child getting sick.
    I think it says “children’s amusement” which makes no sense to me. But I think it’s more of a “don’t eat at this place because it’s dirty” type of note, especially if you have children.

    Jul 21, 2013 at 5:23 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   H for Toy bang

      I prefer to imagine it’s a code, stating that this unnamed individual has claimed the corner by the hot dog stand as her weed-selling corner. Home Depot plumbing department was already taken.

      Jul 21, 2013 at 5:35 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Daniel

      I think you’re right on in your interpretation. Sounds like the note writer is saying there is some kind of children’s ride or game nearby.

      Jul 21, 2013 at 5:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   justme

      PA notes used as code for drug deal locations seems to be a new trend. Perhaps the proper authorities should be informed.

      One thought leading to another — maybe this explains why the note is handwritten — so the NSA won’t be able to access it and break the code. Maybe the code refers to something far more sinister than we thought.

      Jul 21, 2013 at 7:02 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   H for Toy bang

      You may be on to something, justme. There is that children’s ammonia to consider. Though, we probably shouldn’t be broadcasting this online, should we?

      Jul 21, 2013 at 10:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #4   Roto13

    My favourite part is that this person apparently wrote this note out by hand several times rather than type it up somewhere and print out multiple copies, or write it up and photocopy it.

    Jul 21, 2013 at 5:42 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   it's naptime

      That may be why it’s so hard to read. Every time they rewrote it, they copied from the previous copy and screwed something up. The original probably makes all kinds of sense.

      Jul 23, 2013 at 12:21 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #5   j

    Maybe if the hot dog & burger van were cooler, everything would be okay. It’s such a shame that the notewriter had such a hard time working . for them.

    Jul 21, 2013 at 6:30 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #6   Philippa

    Louis, you’re a sleuth amongst sleuths, my fine man. Not only might you have figured out what they are saying, you actually figured out what they were saying. And when not a single one amongst us could show “no” and “iff” to “ammusmer” and still come up for air! So none of this tentative “I think I may have figured out…” out of you, if I possibly may. From now on some gusto and some pride, Louis! “I have JOLLY WELL figured out…!” (Yes, shout it! Shout it loud and shout it proud!) As for you, j, you cracked me up. Have you never worked . for anyone as lacking in frankfurter ethics as Mrs Shearan and her daughter, to say nothing of their burger patties? Me, too. I should say I have. And iff I ever did it again, I’d want everyone to no what was behind the writer’s friend’s sickness, for which, to be fair, and as far as we have evidence, there is no clear path between it and Mrs Shearan at all. It seems rather a non-sequitur. I just hope she’s 100% again.

    Jul 21, 2013 at 7:17 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #7   Ely North

    This is why I always say: “Vans are for sleazy love-making, not for cooking and serving hot dogs & burgers.”

    Jul 21, 2013 at 7:51 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   juju_skittles

      And if you use the van for BOTH – that’s when people end up sick for three weeks!

      Jul 21, 2013 at 8:29 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #8   SeeYouInTea

    Why not just call the health department?

    Jul 21, 2013 at 8:44 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #9   Jeremy

    “In a seaside town that they forgot to close dowwwwwn Armageddon, come Armageddon, come Armageddon come.”

    Sorry, couldn’t help it.

    Jul 21, 2013 at 10:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #10   H for Toy bang

    Also, lets step it up, people. Someone on Facebook is not happy with the level of humor in our comment section. Get funnier, or the paychecks stop. Wait, whadaya mean, we don’t get paid for this?

    Jul 21, 2013 at 10:44 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Lythande

      I was gonna say, you get a paycheck, Toy? I just get let out of my box once in a while if I comment. I thought it was the standard contract.

      Jul 21, 2013 at 11:15 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   H for Toy bang

      I actually get paid in thumbs. The UPS guy is starting to wonder…

      Jul 22, 2013 at 8:04 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #11   Matt

    You mean to tell me that the burger van at the fairground doesn’t adhere to the highest standards of food hygiene???? Surely this cannot be true!

    Jul 22, 2013 at 7:43 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #12   My name is Princess!

    All of a sudden my head hurts. Its a food truck! Where would the competition for food poisoning roulette be without them. The all you can eat buffets would have to carry on this tradition all on their own. The horror!!!

    Jul 22, 2013 at 7:54 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Elf

      I’m a huge fan of food trucks and street food as a whole, but you really do have pick your venues.

      Jul 22, 2013 at 8:32 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #13   The Elf

    People should? No.

    Jul 22, 2013 at 8:31 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #14   Dane Zeller

    I ask you, the next time you go to the fair grounds would you ever notice the burger and dog van? No. Now you will. The cleverest of marketing.

    Jul 22, 2013 at 9:16 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   The Elf

      And, after you notice it, you’ll decide to sample their wares so you can decide for yourself. Don’t take a random crank’s word for it!

      Jul 22, 2013 at 1:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #15   Juniper

    I don’t get the confusion – seems a pretty clear note to me. And actually quite well done considering I’d put a lot of money on the fact that the writer is not a native-English speaker.

    Jul 22, 2013 at 11:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #16   redheadwglasses

    whenever you stroll along with me
    I’m merely contemplating what you feel inside
    Meanwhile I ask you to be my clementine
    You say you will if you could but you can’t
    I love you madly
    Let my imagination run away with you gladly
    A brand new angle – highly commendable
    Seaside rendezvous

    “Seaside Rendezvous” from Queen’s “A Night at the Opera”

    Jul 22, 2013 at 11:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #17   spacenomyous bang

    i think the notewriter is confessing. he’s responsible for the children getting sick for three weeks. this is the only way he could forgive himself, by warning other to stay away even though he doesn’t work there anymore.

    Jul 22, 2013 at 12:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #18   KittenPlaysTheViolin

    This PA note is a crime against the English language.

    Jul 22, 2013 at 1:30 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #19   Poltergeist

    So these children are allowed to go up to a van and put some stranger’s dirty hot dog in their mouth? What kind of sick place is?!

    Jul 22, 2013 at 8:56 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   redheadwglasses

      Sounds like a weekend with Grandpa!

      Jul 23, 2013 at 11:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #20   taima30

    admin you spelled neighbours wrong. Even with the bracket! Neighbo(u)rs, not Neighbor(u)rs.

    Jul 22, 2013 at 10:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #21   Beth

    “Iff” isn’t necessary a misspelling. In mathematics, “iff” means “if and only if”. They may just be a mathematician.

    Jul 25, 2013 at 8:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   FeRD bang

      It does indeed, that’s true. Though… I’m gonna guess we’re not dealing with a mathematician here. Just a hunch. And there are usually a few other contextual clues that warn you when someone is enough of a geek to whip out an “iff” in casual communication, but this note is absent anything remotely like that.

      (I would’ve assumed the “iff” was really just an “If”, considering the writer’s overly-loopy handwriting, but comparing to the real instances of “if” elsewhere in the note it really does look like there’s a second “f”. Still, a claim that “People should no about them if-and-only-if they have children” would be even odder than most of the already-quite-odd rest of the note.)

      Jul 29, 2013 at 10:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #22   Jess

    Their handwriting should be a (slightly more legible) font. I love the ‘f’s in particular.

    Aug 17, 2013 at 12:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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