Maureen is the first to admit that when she studied abroad in Belgium, she was not the best of roommates (coming home intoxicated at 4 a.m. several times a week, an awkward run-in with a boyfriend, that kind of thing.) And yet, over the course of many months, her Belgian roommate never once complained.
One night, Maureen came home to find her roommate’s possessions neatly packed up in boxes. Before she had a chance to talk to her, everything — save this note — was gone, which Maureen interprets as “a not so subtle way of telling me she never wants to see me again.” (I’d say that’s a pretty safe bet.)
related: Would you mind moving out?
49 responses so far ↓
#1
diogenes
Now THAT…is passive/aggressive
Jul 29, 2013 at 6:26 pm rating: 43
#2
Hannah
For once I don’t blame the person who wrote this note. The girl admits she was an awful room mate, she was lucky enough to have someone who didn’t complain about her annoying habits, and is blasting the real victim on a website because she was tactful in her way of burning the bridge? As someone who just (literally two days ago) got out of a terrible room mate situation, I feel bad for the writer.
Jul 29, 2013 at 6:31 pm rating: 175
#3
Scott
“Not complaining” is not a virtue. She may have been an awful roommate, but people should speak up. if she then didn’t change,leave them in the dirt.
Jul 29, 2013 at 6:40 pm rating: 17
#4
Gina
Oh wow. I guess you never really know how you are being perceived until something like this happens. I just don’t understand how someone could not air their issues before it came to this?!?
Jul 29, 2013 at 7:06 pm rating: 4
#5
Jeanette
I sleep like a rock, so if I had a roommate that came home regularly at 4am, even noisily, I’d probably sleep through it. It’s roommates – it’s always awkward.
I don’t think Maureen’s trashing her ex-roommate, but really, if it’s bothering you, say something. Especially if there’s more than just drunken mayhem. But, personally, as long as you’re clean and respect personal space, I’m cool.
But I also don’t have roommates now for a reason.
Jul 29, 2013 at 8:15 pm rating: 6
#6
Unwanted Houseguest
I once had a roommate I wanted to get rid of. So I hired a hooker to screw him one night and then keep stopping by the house like an obsessive stalker. He was gone within a week. No forwarding address.
Jul 29, 2013 at 9:21 pm rating: 12
#7
Tard
I’ve been BOTH of those roommates before.
Jul 29, 2013 at 9:31 pm rating: 5
#8
Steve
The left-behind roommate was not the hottest chick in this place. And, yes, she knew she was a douchette. (Don’t start on me about making a feminine out of a feminine, ok? It’s early here.)
The Belgian gets mad etiquette points for leaving a written note. In a serviceable script. In flawless English. She’s gone to a better place. And not looking back. This isn’t passive. It’s not aggressive. It’s class.
Do you think she has a sister?
Jul 29, 2013 at 10:33 pm rating: 110
#9
Kate
It might be a language barrier. I went on a German exchange trip when I was 14, they visit you then you visit them deal. And when I left, my partner told me to ‘have a nice life’ – and I was like O.O whoa, ouch. But it turned out she genuinely had meant it, and didn’t realise it was something we say in England as a sarcastic comment – we stayed in contact for a good couple of years after that. So perhaps it’s less passive aggressive then it seems, and more a case of somebody from Belgium with very good English, but less understanding of phrasing?
Jul 30, 2013 at 3:16 am rating: 42
#10
Jasper Nikki De La Cruz
That is surely one way of getting out in a messy situation without being too rude to the other. Kudos to the roommate who left.
Jul 30, 2013 at 3:29 am rating: 37
#11
everover
Please tell me I wasn’t the only one who misread “Andrea” as “Andra”.
Jul 30, 2013 at 8:49 am rating: 2
#12
Fireseeker
On a completely different note, Andra has nice handwriting.
Jul 30, 2013 at 9:33 am rating: 3
#13
Kwyjor
The one problem with something like this is that roommates tend to split the rent payments, don’t they?
Jul 30, 2013 at 10:33 am rating: 4
#14
Nicole
I lived in this house and they were both assholes.
Jul 30, 2013 at 1:51 pm rating: 12
#15
FrauBlucher
I’ve had bad roommates and in some cases, trying to have a nice conversation about their rude habits is pointless. They’re often that way because they’ve been spoiled since birth, raised badly or have personality disorders. A girl who comes home drunk 4 days a week is not going to up and change. She probably told her “I’m almost never here, I go out a lot.”
Jul 31, 2013 at 5:27 am rating: 6
#16
Raichu
I think Andrea handled that marvelously well, personally, and a lot more nicely than I think I would have done.
Hopefully now Maureen will learn to stop being a bad roommate. Realizing you have a problem is the first step, and she was willing to submit it to PAN – she’s not in denial.
I wish them both the best.
Jul 31, 2013 at 9:59 am rating: 9
#17
The Elf
When you think about it, the way they say goodbye in Belgium is much, much better than the way they say goodbye in Germany. I like the Austrian way better.
Jul 31, 2013 at 10:27 am rating: 5
#18
Iwill FindU
The note writer is nicer then I would be. You want to come home stupidly late and drunk a few times a week. Guess what in my family we like to rearrange the furniture late at night. I hope you like the new home I found for everything and there is no straight path to any room in the place. Good luck. I hope to trip over something, that will at lest make me giggle when your drunk ass wakes me up in the middle of the night.
Aug 3, 2013 at 12:11 am rating: 5
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