Entries from July 2013
Rob lives in a seaside town in the U.K. He and several other neighbo(u)rs recently received versions of this handwritten note, seemingly written by an ex-employee of a hot dog stall at a nearby fairground.
Writes Rob: “It’s not quite clear who the notewriter is or exactly what the problem is. Is it the hot dogs? It is the van? Is it the terrible grammar? It is the writer responsible for the ‘handling’ of the ‘disgusting’ food? Who is the mysterious friend who was ill for 3 weeks? What is it that people should ‘no’?”
related: Small-town swimming pool rules
Tags: food · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · U.K.
Apparently everyone is “doing it wrong,” says our submitter in Colorado.
related: THIS IS NOT A METH LAB
Tags: "helpful" advice · Colorado · most popular notes of 2013 · office · toilet
Lorna in Adelaide, Australia found this classified ad in the city newspaper a while back. “It still makes absolutely no sense to me,” she says, “but I enjoy the passive-aggressive undertones. (‘You insulted me after I did you a favour!’)”
related: What kind of MULE is it that goes to a Gypsy fortune teller?
Tags: Australia · most popular notes of 2013 · newspaper · WTF?
Explains our submitter in Maryland: “Housemate is pregnant. She doesn’t like it when we leave the AC on.” (Ya think?)
related: The womb that would birth a thousand excuses
Tags: die bitch die · Maryland · preggers · roommates · temperature
The day before her birthday, Emily in Baton Rouge was lamenting the fact that her husband had never once surprised me with a cookie cake. (Hint, hint.)
The next day, her husband “surprised” her with what Emily called “quite possibly the best present I’ve ever received — not only hilarious, but delicious as well!”
Meanwhile, writes Chanisa in Danbury, Connecticut: “This is what my husband wrote on my birthday cake after I nagged him about it for a week.”
related: I don’t want to hear another damn word about flowers
Tags: birthday · cake · Connecticut · love & marriage
“Every once in awhile,” writes Sarah in San Diego, “some disgruntled person in my condo building slides a (always unsigned) note under my door declaring their fury at some minor offense. This is the latest.”
“For the record,” Sarah adds, “said pants were bright-pink Lilly Pulitzer circa 1985; put near a window to dry — I don’t trust my thrift shop purchases to just any dryer — and I think only added to the general festivity of July 4th as they fluttered in the cross breeze!”
related: Sentimental pants
Tags: neighbors · San Diego
Matt found this note outside his house in Minneapolis, and says he hasn’t the slightest idea what sort of “godless activities” Barb & Tom could be hinting at.
related: Risky business
Tags: God · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · Won't somebody think of the children?
Our submitter says this sign — written in marker on a section of faux wainscoting paneling — appeared last week in front of a neighbor’s house, deep in the foothills of Appalachia. I’m not sure who did the yelling,” our submitter adds, “but I now feel the uncontrollable urge to yell “PU@@Y!” every time I pass by.”
Slightly more mysterious is this sign, which showed up one day on a dead-end country road in Washington state. Says our submitter, Chris: “There aren’t that many neighbors out here, so it would not have been too hard to find the ’1st class jerk.’”
But the most mysterious of them all comes to us from Providence, Rhode Island. Says Melinda: “My neighbors are all friendly and we all know each other’s first names, so I have no idea why they would put such an ominous sign in their yard. But why else would you post this sign unless it was for someone that might see it?”
related: Cell phones kill ‘possums!
Tags: driving · neighbors · pointlessly self-censored profanity · small town living · you know who you are
Here’s something we rarely see around here: a happy ending!
Explains Amanda in Fort Collins, Colorado: “Last week, the trailer that lives outside the Food Co-op had its wheel stolen, and they weren’t able to do the food drop-off. Disgruntled, Karen put this sign on the sad, one-wheeled trailer.”
Then, Amanda says, “Three days ago, a man came into the co-op. He walked up to the register and, without saying anything, put a BRAND NEW trailer wheel on the counter. ‘I saw your sign,’ he said. ‘I used to eat at the Mission, but now I don’t need to. I wanted to bring you this.’” Then he walked out.
related: The Good Samaritan
Tags: Colorado · guilt trip · heart · most popular notes of 2013 · stealing
“From what I know,” says our submitter in Dayton, “the owner of this building wanted to open a used tire store, but city officials denied his paperwork. He eventually opened the business in a neighboring town,” leaving behind this monument to ‘Murica.
related: Do you hate America?
Tags: crazypants · Dayton · raging against the machine