It’s hard out there for a tanning salon owner

August 6th, 2013 · 37 comments

As if the clients pissing in the trash cans weren’t enough…the owner of this tanning salon in Boston also can’t afford spellcheck.

I fired the fat, ugly, pig for stealing from me This inconvenience was brought about by her Sorry  Will reopen soon

related: In case you were wondering why we’re closed

FILED UNDER: Boston · don't blame us · fired · opening/closing · passive voice · spelling and grammar police · TMI


37 responses so far ↓

  • #1   AshleyL

    Aggressive in passive voice… nicely done :)

    Aug 6, 2013 at 9:23 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Rachel

    There is spell check for paper?

    Aug 6, 2013 at 9:33 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   ExpectingEaster

      Yes. It’s called a dictionary.

      Aug 6, 2013 at 9:40 pm   rating: 70  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   TTFG

      Yeah, because everyone uses the dictionary to check they’ve spelt each word they’ve handwritten correctly.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 12:02 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Ruby

      I call it proofreading and I can do it without a dictionary 99.9% of the time.

      *gives self cookie*

      Aug 7, 2013 at 12:24 am   rating: 48  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   FeRD bang

      It’s also called “asking someone who can fucking spell to look over your note”. I’ve never figured out why people who can’t spell, make signs. Don’t they at least know they can’t spell for shit? Phone a friend, motherfucker!

      Aug 7, 2013 at 2:10 am   rating: 57  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   leopara

      i am extremely dyslexic and English is my 3rd language (someone just shoot me in the face with a supersoaker now please) if i’m in front of the comp ‘new tab’ type how i think word is spelled. it’ll correct me. none available? uhm dictionary, OR phone the library and ask them. seriously.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 5:51 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Lil'

      Personally, I like a crazy note rant even more when the spelling is off or big words are used incorrectly. It adds a little flavor.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 7:12 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Ely North

      At leest he speled the importent wurds coreckly: “fat”, “ugly”, and “pig”. Oh, and “sorry”.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 8:07 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   H for Toy

      I think she was just so furious that some of the letters got lost in the fury.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 8:22 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Rachel

      So … I’m writing an angry note about a fat, ugly pig stealing from me, then once I’m done, I stop, look up a dictionary, ask a friend to proof read and/or phone the library to make sure that I’ve spelled every word correctly? No. I’m pretty sure it’s just a typo anyway.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 7:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   Poltergeist

      If you’re going to write a note and stick it in the window of your business, then yes, you need to proofread it to make sure it’s spelled right (although even without the typo, the content of this specific note would still make the notewriter look like an idiot.)

      Aug 7, 2013 at 8:17 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   AnimusFuriae bang

      Ruby: “I call it proofreading and I can do it without a dictionary 99.9% of the time.”

      You can raise that to 100% by simply avoiding the use of words that you don’t know how to spell. ;)

      Aug 8, 2013 at 6:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   Gladystopia

      Shhhh! Don’t give away trade secrets! :)

      Aug 9, 2013 at 12:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Poltergeist

    Whenever I enter an establishment as a customer, I always ask for a list of every former employee, including a crude physical description of each person and the reasons why they no longer work there. Thank you tanning salon maiden for making that information so readily available!

    Now tell me, how many rounds in the cancer box must I endure before I look like Wesley Snipes?

    Aug 7, 2013 at 12:35 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   weed store

      lol dude you are not very good at sarcasm

      Aug 7, 2013 at 7:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Raichu

      I thought it was perfectly understandable sarcasm. Did you have trouble with it?

      Aug 7, 2013 at 9:27 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   redheadwglasses

      His name should give you some clue about that, Raichu. ; )

      Aug 7, 2013 at 10:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Poltergeist

      Lol dude your shtick got old ten PANs ago.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 3:59 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   elvee

    That fat ugly pig was fucking delicious.

    Aug 7, 2013 at 3:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Poltergeist

      When that fat ugly pig goes missing within the next few days, the cops should start their investigation at the salon. If there’s fat ugly bacon grease in one of the tanning beds, we know what went down.

      We, the jury, find the defendant guilty of the crime of murder by frying.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 3:37 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Jake

    Do you think that fat ugly pig was legitimately rotisseried? Or just stuck in a tanning bed for 20 minutes to make it LOOK perfectly roasted?

    Aug 7, 2013 at 4:08 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   madrugada

      Motive and opportunity. The fat pig – um, sorry, fat UGLY pig – was stealing from him. Opportunity – the broiler – er, tanning bed.

      That motherfucker’s going DOWN.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 5:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Snicklefritz

      I think it was Colonel Mustard, in the the green room with a tanning bed.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 9:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   H for Toy

      You sure it wasn’t Miss Scarlet? Or was it Miss Scarlet getting fried?

      Aug 7, 2013 at 9:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Tesselara

      Mustard and greens go well with pork…

      Aug 7, 2013 at 11:21 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Snicklefritz

      Do mustard greens go well with pork as well?

      Aug 7, 2013 at 2:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Snicklefritz

      I used the word “well” way too many times in that last sentence.

      Oh, well… Deal with it!

      Aug 7, 2013 at 2:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   CG bang

    Now we all know where that little piggy went.

    Aug 7, 2013 at 9:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   SnarkyMo

      wee, wee, wee, but perhaps not in the trashcan. fortunately.

      Aug 7, 2013 at 10:18 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Daniel

    I’ve always felt that if businesses were truly sorry for any inconveniences they feel are worthy of signs posted in-store, they’d at least bother to make sure “inconvenience” is spelled correctly.

    Aug 8, 2013 at 9:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   The Crazed Spruce

    So, lemme get this straight. A
    large, unattractive pig found its way down from the farm and held them up at snoutpoint, so they had to roast it? How terribly inconvient…

    Aug 8, 2013 at 1:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   AnimusFuriae bang

    Inconvience? Is that like incontinence? Perhaps… They are, after all, pissing in the trash can…

    Aug 8, 2013 at 6:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Crystal

    Here’s my question: why hire a fat ugly pig to work at a business that’s all about image consciousness?

    Aug 9, 2013 at 1:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   OHSue

    Who wants to go in there and when they see the owner say, “hey, I heard you got fired?”

    Aug 9, 2013 at 9:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Annette

    How about, “This skin cancer store is closed because I can’t spell”?

    Aug 13, 2013 at 4:24 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Dave

      I think the note-writer can probably spell all of the words in the sign on a normal day. There’s only one incorrect word, and it’s not been spelled phonetically, or fallen foul of any of the usual mistakes. I’m guessing the writer was angry or distracted and lost his/her train of thought halfway through the word. I do stupid things like that all the time, I just never really write by hand any more, so I get my mistakes underlined in red before I post.

      I’m honestly more annoyed by the superfluous comma after ugly, and the fact that he/she stops punctuating completely halfway through.

      Aug 13, 2013 at 10:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     

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