Writes our submitter in Australia: “Our office has been quite settled for the past few years without any issues, but recently fridge items have started to go missing. I’ve lost my own odd pieces of lunch to our unknown thief, so I sympathise completely.”
related: Dear ‘Desperate for Salad’
36 responses so far ↓
#1
TTFG
I feel for this poor soul, having to resort to Maccas
Aug 13, 2013 at 2:00 am rating: 15
#2
Jessi
I feel stupid. It took me about 15 seconds to realize why the date on the note was 12-8-13.
That being said, that’s an awfully quick turnaround, PAN. This event happened today, was pictured today and posted today?
Does the submitter know you personally?
Aug 13, 2013 at 2:03 am rating: 7
#3
zenvelo
In Australia, the possessive “dips” is spelled with an accent aigu over the ‘s’? Sure helps settle that pesky apostrophe placement.
Aug 13, 2013 at 6:37 am rating: 5
#4
zenvelo
Perhaps the thief was trying to keep the poster’s stomach culturally aligned. No telling what would happen putting Greek sauce onto Turkish bread.
Aug 13, 2013 at 6:38 am rating: 20
#5
jj
Sweetest passive aggressive note on here!
Poor, poor dip!
Aug 13, 2013 at 7:11 am rating: 8
#6
Brandy
but 12-08-13, Is it also December in Australia? Or did the person switch some numbers around and it’s supposed to be Aug. 13, 2012?
Aug 13, 2013 at 7:11 am rating: 0
#7
Tard
My favorite note.
I’d whip-up some ‘tombstone cupcakes’ for the next day, hold a wake.
Aug 13, 2013 at 7:52 am rating: 13
#8
Lil'
This post reminded me of another food obituary:
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Cap’n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- time friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very “smart” cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he — even still, as a crusty old man — was considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
Aug 13, 2013 at 7:57 am rating: 41
#9
Neeners
What I like about this is that it is all about the dip. A serenade to what could have been, more than an out and out attack on the knife-wielding thief. Incidentally, it could have been a spoon wielding thief, that would have been my personal choice. Why take the chance that the food your stealing will slip off the knife?
Aug 13, 2013 at 9:10 am rating: 14
#10
jollyroger
I would think a simple tour of the office would suffice to find the knife weilder. A garlic based dip is not the friend any person trying to hide the fact that they had consumed your mediteranean delight.
Aug 13, 2013 at 10:29 am rating: 12
#11
Ely North
I find this note lacks commitment. You want to make your point? Engrave your message on a tombstone.
Aug 13, 2013 at 2:54 pm rating: 4
#12
Poltergeist
Why must the delicious die young?
Aug 13, 2013 at 5:26 pm rating: 8
#13
Dom
My favourite part is all the comments confused over the date. Hah
Aug 14, 2013 at 2:24 am rating: 2
#14
Divorceddoodling
Brilliant! Despite their obvious anger over missing tzatziki replaced by a yech Mcdonald’s burger – they have turned to poetry.
Honestly – what else could they have done?
Is this really passive aggressive?
I guess…
Aug 15, 2013 at 3:44 am rating: 0
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