Check out this sick whip

August 18th, 2013 · 61 comments

“I’m not a car guy,” writes our submitter from Los Angeles, “but I’m in love with my neighbor’s car. I walk by every day hoping a ‘For Sale’ sign will show up.” Today, he happened to found this note (which I read more like the beginning of a story story) stuck to the windshield instead.

My wife doesn't want me playing paintball with you anymore. I'll see ya at church.

Check out this sick whip!

related: Signed, Your Proud Wife


FILED UNDER: car · Los Angeles · love & marriage

61 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Dantebenuto

    It must be the longing way he gazes into the driveway; the wife must think his longing is for her husband and not the car…

    Aug 18, 2013 at 3:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Roto13

    That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever read.

    Aug 18, 2013 at 3:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Scott Hall

    I don’t think I get it

    Aug 18, 2013 at 3:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Tard

    I read “My wife has my testicles in her purse and won’t let me be a man anymore”.

    Uh, that car? THAT car?!

    Aug 18, 2013 at 4:49 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   H for Toy

      He did say he wasn’t a car guy.

      Aug 18, 2013 at 5:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Raichu

      This is about spouses being controlling and their partners not having backbones. Don’t make it into a ~~manliness~~ thing.

      Aug 18, 2013 at 5:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Tard

      That is the definition of manliness, bro… Backbone.

      In Seattle, about 95% of ‘men’ know nothing of cars and don’t care. It’s pathetic… They drive ACCORDS and Subaru wagons.

      Aug 18, 2013 at 7:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   Poltergeist

      Yeah, everybody knows real men adore automobiles. My daddy done raised me wrong, which is why I traded in my penis a long time ago for a pair of oven mitts and a subscription to Redbook.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 2:58 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   Brittni

      Uuuhhh… Subaru wagons can be very manly.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 12:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.6   Nikki

      Subaru wagons may not look cool but maybe they’re just more concerned with function than looking cool. They work really well for the outdoorsy lifestyle that many of us in the Seattle area enjoy. Camping, kayaking, biking, snowshoeing, skiing, etc. We’ll wave when you’re in the snow chaining up on Stevens Pass and the cop waves us on by.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 2:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.7   Raichu

      What does backbone have to do with cars? And why is backbone directly correlated with manliness when women have them too?

      Unless you’re one of those people…or a troll.

      Aug 20, 2013 at 11:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.8   redheadwglasses

      Spinelessness knows no gender. Controlling knows no gender. this is a person thing, not a gender thing.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 9:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.9   Raichu

      Well said, Redhead.

      Aug 22, 2013 at 8:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Jorge Barnes

    I don’t understand anything about this post.

    Who the hell falls in love with this kind of car?

    Is the note from the 70′s car owner to the 70′s car stalker? And because he knows the guy stalks the car he’ll peep in the windshield and see the note?

    Is the note from a 3rd (whipped) party to the car owner? Or from 70′s car owner to the 3rd party and car-stalker just saw it?

    Are these the types of grown men who play paintball?

    Aug 18, 2013 at 5:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Iwill FindU

      Yeah it’s a old nothing car. But what if the submitter is “In love” with the car because it happens to be the same make and model of his first car. You don’t have to be car guy to love your first car.

      Men are odd, they sometime enjoy shooting at each other, I don’t get it, but I’m pretty sure it’s better they use paint then say live rounds.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 3:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   sedona

    Spouses usually have a good reason that warrants their suspicion.

    He admitted he’s not even interested in cars but he likes this particular one.

    It can’t get much clearer than that.

    Aug 18, 2013 at 5:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   foggy day

      *scratches head* still looking pretty obscure to me … unless you are suggesting that interest in car = secret lust, in which case — holy homophobia batman!

      Aug 24, 2013 at 3:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   H for Toy

    My original thought was that the submitter was just explaining why he happened to be walking by, looking in the windshield of his neighbor’s car. Now I’m wondering if it’s a case of “I’m not allowed to come out and play, but I’ll leave the note where I know you’ll find it.”

    Aug 18, 2013 at 5:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   JK

      If they were really friends, would the other guy need to put a For Sale sign on the car? Wouldn’t he just call his buddy and say ‘Hey, do you still want my car?’ I don’t get why a friend of the note writer would pass by the car and regularly look for the opportunity to buy it, thus setting up the best method to contact him about the paintball.

      Also, the “he happened to found this note..” in the description is driving me crazy.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 10:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   H for Toy

      It’s just a confusing back story. I agree, “happened to found,” makes me shudder.

      Aug 20, 2013 at 8:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Raichu

    Really, PAN? Jumping on the “pussywhipped” thing? I thought better…

    Aug 18, 2013 at 5:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   crack it baby

      As the proud owner of a vagina, I can’t much stand the whole “pussywhipped” concept myself, but if the scar fits … this guy is either totally controlled by his wife or came up with the lamest excuse ever. I’m actually leaning toward the second, the fact that it was a note and not a buddy-to-buddy conversation smacks of cowardice. But again, that fits with the submitting to a dominating wife scenario too.

      Aug 24, 2013 at 3:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   ElleDubs

    I think the note is from a third party to the owner of the car, and the car coveter just happened to see it.

    Aug 18, 2013 at 7:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   whew

      Finally, we have a winner!

      Aug 24, 2013 at 3:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Nunavut Guy

    This is obviously gay code.

    “Playing paint ball”? No need to comment.

    ” Meet at church”? Enough said.

    Aug 18, 2013 at 7:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   AMoparGirl

    I’m a car girl from a car family & member of quite a few car clubs & I don’t get the fascination w/this car at all. Nor the stupid note. Makes no sense.

    Aug 18, 2013 at 8:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Jami

      Some people just have strange tastes.

      Even though I know nothing about cars except they need gas, oil, batteries, and spark plugs, that doesn’t mean I don’t admire older cars. I’ve been known to look lovingly and longingly at pictures of Edsels. I have daydreams about being able to ride in one someday – and that car Tucker built too. Not own, just ride.

      The note makes sense. Friend of the car’s owner has left it on the owner’s car because his wife doesn’t want him playing paintball with the car’s owner anymore.

      So there’s three people involved here -

      1: Submitter who likes to look at the car and happened to see the note.

      2: Car owner.

      3: Note guy who has a wife that doesn’t want him to play paintball with car owner anymore.

      Aug 18, 2013 at 8:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   The Elf

      I don’t get the car love here either. Maybe it was his first car or something. First cars generally have a special place in the owner’s heart. Whenever I drive my beat-up old pick-up, I’m astounded at the compliments I get on it. The admirer almost always follows it up with “I had one just like it.” Honestly, it’s the only reason I can think of to like that old beast. The truck is perfect for what I use it for – trips to the dump and the hardware store. But it’s a bitch to drive compared to modern cars, and made worse by the traffic around here. Yet it gets more love than my Harley.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 7:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   it's naptime

      Is it one of those old pickups with the rounded fenders and hood? And the stepsided short bed? I’ve never driven one or ridden in one so I have no idea how they handle, but I love the look of them. I’d take one over a Harley. I like motorcycles, but I’m terrified of the other assholes out on the road who like to pull out in front of them. Or hit them from behind. Or from the side. Probably from above and below if they could manage it. Asssholes.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 2:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   The Elf

      No, my old truck is classic but not that classic!

      Aug 20, 2013 at 6:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   wah

      I’m a frequenter of PAN, have submitted a few notes I’ve found & unfortunately even penned a few myself, and I don’t get the point of this comment at all.

      Aug 24, 2013 at 4:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   sunshynegrll

    The car owner is a KGB sleeper agent. ‘Wife’ is the activation word. ‘Paintball’ refers to the mission of infiltrating capitalist society successfully by driving Detroit Gold circa 1980. ‘Church’ means ‘used car lot’.

    Aug 18, 2013 at 9:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   H for Toy

      That’s the best explanation I’ve heard yet!

      Aug 18, 2013 at 9:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Laura

    Funny, I’ve never heard a woman say, ‘My husband doesn’t want me…”. It must happen sometimes, right?

    Aug 19, 2013 at 12:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   ABC

      It happens ALL THE TIME.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 6:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   The Elf

      Sure, controlling behavior isn’t limited to one gender.

      Here’s the thing: Unless paintball was getting in the way of his responsibilities (i.e. raising kids), or costing money they don’t have, a hobby is a hobby. It doesn’t matter if your hobby is paintball, knitting, model trains, volunteering at the local animal shelter, reading, or dancing in the moonlight wearing only strategically placed pompoms. Everyone needs some time to do the things they *want* to do, not *need* to do, and it would be a much healthier marriage if both spouses let the other one do their thing occassionally.

      By the way, the pompom club meets in the park monthly. It’s the full moon.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 6:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   FeRD bang

      Hobbies are important, it’s true, and every spouse should definitely be supportive of their partner enjoying a little “me time” however they choose to do so. It’s an ingredient for a healthy relationship.

      But, in this particular case, I’ll point out that the note doesn’t say, “I’m not allowed to play paintball anymore”. It says, “My wife doesn’t want me playing paint ball with you anymore.” Her issue may not be with the hobby itself, so much as the particular company he’s been keeping while enjoying said hobby.

      Then, of course, there’s the possibility that the whole “my wife says” line is just the notewriter’s craven, made-up excuse for getting out of the paintball situation, and the wife really knows nothing about it. (A favorite technique of both my parents, whose interactions with their kids predominantly consisted of orders delivered in the form, “Your {father|mother} says…”. Because why let something as trivial as raising two children force you to start taking personal responsibility? :roll: )

      Aug 19, 2013 at 8:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   Lil'

      I really don’t understand women who demand their husbands be home every free moment. I love my husband, but I want some “me time” often. We have things we enjoy to do together, but I have always encouraged him to play tennis and fish (two things he really enjoys) – and every once in a while, I will fish with him. I don’t want to be his only entertainment and I don’t want him to be mine. And I want to be able to enjoy the things I love even when he doesn’t love them. What kind of joy can be found in only living for each other, and sacrificing every thing you enjoy when your spouse doesn’t share the love?

      Aug 19, 2013 at 9:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.5   H for Toy

      I’m right there with you, Lil’. My husband and I have actually discussed this once, after watching something about a couple whose lives were entirely about each other, and nothing else.
      “What if we did everything together, all the time, and spent every moment together?”
      “We’d end up like Sid and Nancy.”
      “Yeah… Mind if I go fishing tomorrow?”
      “Good idea. Have fun!”

      Aug 19, 2013 at 10:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.6   mitte

      Maybe the guy had so many bruises everywhere from paintballing that he never felt like fucking anymore.

      Or maybe the particular guy he played paintball with always aimed at his crutch, making him worthless in bed and possibly sterile.

      That said, I know there’s only a 1% chance that a wife could be justified in asking her husband to give up paintball.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 1:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.7   Lil'

      My best friend is just the opposite of us in this department. Her husband works two jobs and just finished school, but when he’s home she wants him completely absorbed in the family. He tries so hard to put fatigue aside and plan outings He actually plans and executes them on next to no sleep, but it’s never enough. I try to be a good listener, but I finally just leveled with her and told her that I cannot relate to what she’s talking about. My husband works two jobs also, and the last thing I would be hounding him about between his shifts is more quality time. My five-year-old son enjoys the time he spends with his daddy, and as long as it’s enough for him, it’s enough for me. We happen to love our Mommy and Me outings (and I enjoy my alone time when my son is visiting his grandma), and it makes our whole family outings more special when my husband is up for joining us. At one point, my husband was working 80 hours a week. Thankfully it’s much less now, but how could I expect him to work so hard for us and never take time for himself.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 1:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.8   knitchic

      I have to agree with each partner needing “me” time. My husband and I try to give each other a little alone time each week. We also have a couple we are friends with who spend ALL of their spare time together, by her insistence. As much as I love my husband that just sounds exhuasting.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 7:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.9   JK

      As an introvert, I appreciate the need for ‘me time’ in a profound way. That said, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to have limited time with a spouse already and then when they do have time free, they don’t necessarily want to spend it with you. Not that they don’t love you, but they have needs too. It has to be lonely for some people.

      Is your best friend an extrovert, i.e. does she get energy from interacting with other people? Might explain the issue. The world is biased toward extroverts a lot of the time, but when it comes to being apart for work or different activities, that’s where being an introvert can work to our advantage. Not being with her as much as he could be doesn’t make her husband a bad father by default. I wish people understood the introvert/extrovert thing better when choosing a spouse or friend. We can’t project the same motivations or emotional requirements on everyone.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 10:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.10   redheadwglasses

      Just this week my boyfriend told me that he’s the only guy he knows whose S.O. *pushes* him to golf and game. He golfs once or twice a year. I just try to help make it happen. sometimes on date night, I’m not in the mood to commit to a movie and there’s nothing on tv we both want to watch, so I’ll tell him to game while I surf on my ipad.

      Battlefield 3 then sex? It makes him happy.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 9:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   joncro bang

    That is a totally awesome car. I would pay big big money for it.

    Aug 19, 2013 at 3:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   catalyna

    Why does everyone assume the owner of the car, for whom the note was left, is a man? Maybe the note is for a woman. It maybe the family’s teenage daughter. Could be the wife’s car. A boat like that would be safe to drive in traffic, especially if it gets hit. There maybe a reason his wife doesn’t want them playing together anymore.

    Aug 19, 2013 at 9:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      Because it references paintball. When I played paintball, I was frequently the only woman on the playing field. It’s a good assumption that both note-writer and intended recepient are both male.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 10:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   The Elf

      And if we’re going to talk about potentially sexist assumptions, how about the assumption that a “safe” car must belong to a woman?

      Aug 19, 2013 at 10:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Jeremy

    Only lesbionics drive/own Subaru’s you stupid twat.

    Aug 19, 2013 at 12:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Snicklefritz

      Wait… What? ^^^^ Sexist and/or homophobic much?

      Seriously? I’ve always associated Subaru drivers with the earthy crunchy, granola eatin’ nature lovers that like to hike and camp and do other associated outdoor activities.

      Lesbionics? Is that like Hooked on Phonics? or is it what bionic lesbians are called? Enquiring minds want to know.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 1:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   The Elf

      Yannnooooo…… Jeremy, Snicklefritz, and Brittni above might just be talking about the same set of drivers. Maybe it’s the car of choice for particularly butch, nature lovin’, bionic lesbians?

      Aug 19, 2013 at 1:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   H for Toy

      My grandfather (the Polish one) drove a Subaru, because it got good gas mileage and drove well in the Buffalo snow. As far as I remember, he never ate granola, but he did prefer women.

      Aug 19, 2013 at 2:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   Poltergeist

      Puh-lease. Everybody knows lesbians only ride inflatable sex dolls down to the Home Depot.

      For those of you who don’t know what an inflatable sex doll looks like, I shall provide you with a visual:


      Aug 19, 2013 at 7:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.5   H for Toy

      Love the visual!

      Aug 19, 2013 at 8:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.6   redheadwglasses

      he didn’t eat granola, he ate grandma!

      You’re welcome.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 9:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.7   H for Toy

      Lalalala I can’t hear you…

      Aug 21, 2013 at 10:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   AMoparGirl

    It looks like it could have been an old cop car. There are guys that love those things, provided they have the V8 pursuit package.

    Aug 19, 2013 at 6:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   The Elf

      It’s got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it’s got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It’s a model made before catalytic converters so it’ll run good on regular gas.

      Just needs a new lighter.

      Aug 20, 2013 at 6:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   Jami

      It kind of reminds me of the car James Garner drove when he played Jim Rockford in The Rockford Files. Which is why I like it. Cause I loved TRF.

      When I went to Universal Studios for my birthday last year one of the tour guides offered me one of the cars you see from the tram. I said I wanted Jim Rockford’s car. I’m still waiting.

      Aug 20, 2013 at 9:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.3   redheadwglasses

      No way does that car look anything like the car from Rockford Files, which was a Pontiac Firebird. Very different bodies.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 9:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.4   Jami

      I never said I was a car person! What little I know about cars comes from watching Counting Cars.

      There were some episodes he drove a car not unlike that. Likely when his main ride was in the shop after being shot up.

      Plus, while this one’s a bit darker, they’ve got similar colors.

      That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 11:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


Comments are Closed