Toilet: Not a Redneck Washing Machine

August 20th, 2013 · 41 comments

Keith passed along this gem from his friend Ben, a professional musician, who spotted this on the wall of a restroom at a Central Florida club. (Another one for the “How many times did this have to happen before they made a sign about it?” files.)

Toilet: Not a Redneck Washing Machine!! You poop your pants Trash your underwear Do not hide in toilet!!

related: Hey you, you dumb redneck

FILED UNDER: bathroom · Florida · so this is a thing? · that's disgusting · that's trashy · toilet · WTF?


41 responses so far ↓

  • #1   JN

    Now if it had been in the women’s washroom I bet it would have ended up in the “feminine hygiene” disposal bin.

    Aug 20, 2013 at 6:07 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Raichu

      I’ve cleaned t-shirts and sneaker insoles out of those bins. Why they were in there when there’s a trash can five steps away I’ll never know.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 9:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Toots123

      It is just too embarrassing to risk the chance of being caught by someone. Not to mention if its someone you know who wants an explanation. [blushes]

      Aug 21, 2013 at 2:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Raichu

      That you think their potential embarrassment from the 5 seconds between the stall door and bathroom trash can outweighs the burden it places on the employee cleaning the rest room indicates to me that you have never worked a minimum-wage foodservice job before.

      Aug 22, 2013 at 8:27 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Tesselara

    Are you allowed to call someone a redneck if you can’t spell?

    On the other hand…wtf poopy underpants in toilet? That takes gross to epic proportions. Go Go Gadget Tongs for drippy brown disgustingness.

    Aug 20, 2013 at 6:10 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Red Delicious

    When things like this happen my first thought is that someone had to be drunk. For some reason, I give the benefit of the doubt and think perhaps substances account for increased stupidity.

    And then sometimes I just wonder, because if this has happened that many times that someone needed to post a sign… maybe it’s not the alcohol. Maybe someone really is that stupid.

    And then I weep for a generation that will one day be making the decisions for the rest of us.

    Aug 20, 2013 at 6:22 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   H for Toy

    My sister once pooped in her underwear, so she wrapped them up in a paper towel and his them in a plant outside. Difference is, she was 4. I thought this sort of problem stopped once a person started kindergarten.

    Aug 20, 2013 at 6:36 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Raichu

      I remember doing it when I was 5…I just pretended nothing had happened and hoped others would not notice. (Needless to say, it didn’t work.)

      Aug 21, 2013 at 9:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Jami

      When you’re drunk you don’t make good choices. There’s a lot of video evidence now that you can see on shows like World’s Dumbest, and it seems like every other one involves someone peeing.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 10:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   H for Toy

      I’m sure someone found them, and threw them away at some point, but my mom didn’t find out until years later, what had happened to the Wednesday pair in my sister’s set of underwear-for-every-day.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 10:55 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   H for Toy

      Speaking of a-thing-for-every-day… My sister has the PAN page-a-day calendar. I hope she also reads the site, and knows I’m sharing her embarrassing childhood stories with the world.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 10:57 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Fayth

      Oooh, if you get a PAN about it, you need to share it with us!

      Aug 22, 2013 at 3:13 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   H for Toy

      Fortunately for our relationship, but unfortunately for site submissions, she just thinks it’s funny that her pooping pants story made “Word!”

      Aug 22, 2013 at 11:07 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   go21bucs

    I worked at a bob evans when I was high school. one night at closing, I was tasked with cleaning the ladies room.

    when I went in one of the stalls, some classy lady had her period all over the walls, toilet, and floor.

    now I know what the valentine’s day massacre might have looked like.

    Aug 20, 2013 at 6:51 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Raichu

      That has to be one of the worst gross bathroom stories EVER.

      And how do you…on the walls???…that must have taken real effort.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 9:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Jami

      I spent a summer cleaning beach restrooms. I’ve seen worse. Some people just have a fetish when it comes to their bodily wastes. Finding smilie faces and other things drawn in poop or blood wasn’t unusual.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 10:22 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Jill

      “[S]ome classy lady had her period all over the walls, toilet, and floor.”

      Blood nose? Torn stitches? Trying to give the benefit of the doubt.

      Aug 22, 2013 at 1:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Raichu

      Torn stitches maybe? I mean that’s a lot of blood.

      If it was an accident, she could at least have made an effort to clean it up. I doubt it was an accident, though. What I’ve had to clean is minor compared to some of the stories I’ve heard. One of my managers has to deal with these two kids who occasionally go into the men’s room and purposefully deposit turds in places other than the toilet bowl (along the top of the toilet, for example).

      Aug 22, 2013 at 8:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Tiny Tom

    To be honest, gross as the underwear may be, I’d be more concerned about using a bathroom where people are hiding in the toilets.

    Aug 20, 2013 at 7:08 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   it's naptime

      They must be very small people. Or very large toilets.

      Aug 20, 2013 at 7:43 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Poltergeist

      Maybe it was a Smurf. Was the poopy underwear stained blue? If it was, then I guess that means the perpetrator wasn’t a redneck but rather a BLUEneck!

      Ba dum tsssss.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 12:07 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Raichu

      Am I the only one who thought of Moaning Myrtle?

      Aug 22, 2013 at 8:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Jami

      Moaning Myrtle is one.

      There was this short lived super hero show in the – I think the 1980s – anyway, one of the heroes had the power to shrink himself but only if he smacked the back of his neck. One time he and one of the other heroes were tied to toilets. He managed to hit that sweet spot on his neck against a pipe, shrinking so he got out of the ropes, but fell into the toilet, of course.

      So maybe the people hiding in the toilets have shrinking powers?

      Aug 23, 2013 at 11:29 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Suzanne Lucas

    As “ewww” as this sounds, I guess it’s better to find them in the toilet than on the floor.

    Aug 20, 2013 at 8:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   H for Toy

      I’d rather find them on the floor. I can grab a paper towel, pick them up, and toss them. I’d have to fish them out of a toilet.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 6:50 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   The Elf

      I’d rather not find them at all!

      Aug 21, 2013 at 7:17 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   sunshynegrll

    OH COME ON, you backward twats. The toilet is NOT for washing poopy underwear. That’s what bidets are for.

    Aug 20, 2013 at 9:33 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Poltergeist

      What the hell is a “bidet”? Are you referring to those fancy European drinking fountains? No thanks, I’d rather wash my undies in one of those soothing ambient waterfall machines they have in the Men’s Room.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 12:00 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Dane Zeller

    Just because they are underwear, and they are in the toilet, and there is some brown stuff on them, how does a person come to the conclusion that it is “poop?” Could be a Mars bar. Could be the person cleaned a shovel with them. I say, we don’t come to conclusion about the owner of the underwear until we have a lab test.

    In my opinion.

    Aug 21, 2013 at 7:50 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Lil'

      Finally, a voice of reason.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 8:05 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Ely North

    One time I was super drunk in a restroom taking an extra long piss at a urinal, and one of my (also super drunk) friends found a shitty pair of boxers in a stall and threw them at me. Gross!

    Several years later I found out that those shitty boxers had belonged to another friend who had shit his pants earlier that day and ditched his underwear in the toilet stall. Hilarious!

    Aug 21, 2013 at 8:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Raichu

      …hilarious when you don’t have a bundle of someone else’s shit being thrown at you! I guess you must have been REALLY drunk.

      Aug 21, 2013 at 9:04 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Snicklefritz

      Are you still drunk? Because that’s the only explanation, that I can think of, why you would think that’s hilarious.
      Or have you using the alternate meaning for hilarious – i.e. horrifying and still prone to giving you nightmares?

      Aug 21, 2013 at 10:23 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   redheadwglasses

      I admit, I laughed for good 20-30 seconds out loud over that story!

      Aug 21, 2013 at 9:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Snicklefritz

    Wow – this is a really crappy post

    Aug 21, 2013 at 10:07 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   clarf

    You ain’t cool unless you poop your pants.

    Aug 21, 2013 at 11:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Anonymous

    I had a friend that shit herself on her 21st birthday at a bar. We had a very shitty smelling ride home until she finally ditched her underwear, pants and belt in the driveway to make a run for the shower.

    Aug 21, 2013 at 3:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   knitchic

    I work in a grocery store, we all take turns cleaning the bathrooms. Some of the crap people pull in public restrooms would curl your hair. *violent shudder* Worse is that in or case they then go touch food. :p

    Aug 21, 2013 at 5:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Tard

    I got drunk in The Mad Italian in Flagstaff, AZ in 1979 once ( a lie, it was a hundred times) and kicked a paper towel dispenser off the wall. Then I carried it out, under my arm like I owned the place and nobody said a word.

    However,I’ve never pooped my shorts and tossed ‘em in the toilet.

    Aug 21, 2013 at 6:30 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   We shall speak anon

    “Do NOT hide in toilet!”

    We will definitely find you there!

    Aug 22, 2013 at 4:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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