Our submitter in Portland, Oregon saw this sign while out for her morning run. Strangely, she took a pass on the hot date.
related: The saga of Tony Q69
FILED UNDER: ex drama · Portland · public shaming
Noooo! Why the blurred number? He sounds like quite the catch.
Sep 5, 2013 at 12:31 am rating: 62
Dibs! Keep your nasty paws off my man! He obviously knows how to please the ladies!
Sep 5, 2013 at 11:18 am rating: 15
Say no more,you had at me at “cheating”..
Sep 5, 2013 at 12:34 am rating: 34
I’m dying with curiosity about the comment scrawled on the bottom: “SHE DID–BUT I WOULDN’T–”
Sep 5, 2013 at 1:31 am rating: 39
She, who?? The 17-yr-old? One of the Craigslist hookers? Another woman? A passerby (in which case the passerby’s friend would be a second notewriter)?
I must know!
Sep 5, 2013 at 2:11 am rating: 13
If I had to guess, she’s talking about her refusal to go downtown on him which is obviously why he had no choice but to turn to the red light district and an experienced high school junior.
Sep 5, 2013 at 1:32 pm rating: 12
“Gave me an STD.”…Bastard! He never gave me anything!
Sep 5, 2013 at 5:42 am rating: 53
Does he have a sister?
Sep 5, 2013 at 7:14 am rating: 15
This is more sad (std and pregnant) than funny.
I think the comments will prove to be funnier than the PAN. ; )
Sep 5, 2013 at 8:01 am rating: 20
Yeah, this PAN broke my heart a little bit.
Sep 5, 2013 at 9:02 am rating: 10
I hope 708 is the prefix cus 708 area code is here in chicagoland
Sep 5, 2013 at 9:08 am rating: 7
Clearly says “Portland, Oregon.” Though I suppose he could have moved or be from Chicago.
Sep 5, 2013 at 9:37 am rating: 4
The best hookers are in Shaumburg, natch.
Sep 5, 2013 at 11:18 am rating: 10
If this sign is the worst of her wrath, he got off easy.
Sep 5, 2013 at 10:23 am rating: 22
This, exactly. Hell hath no fury like a pregnant and infected woman scorned.
Sep 5, 2013 at 3:35 pm rating: 10
Is this the new way to announce you’re having a baby. I’m curious to see what the birth announcements will look like.
Sep 5, 2013 at 10:25 am rating: 26
Is there a Hallmark card for that?
Sep 5, 2013 at 11:19 am rating: 16
I’m envisioning this note sticking out of the beak of a cardboard stork-dressed-as-mailman with the little pink/blue balloons floating overhead.
Sep 5, 2013 at 1:38 pm rating: 3
Ace of Space
I’m surprised that “left me pregnant” was the least of her concerns. It’s like she was more angry about the cheating and hookers than her own reproductive health.
Do you think she will have the baby?
Sep 5, 2013 at 11:32 am rating: 1
She did- But I wouldn’t-
Sep 5, 2013 at 2:19 pm rating: 27
Well, the cheating, hookers, and STD all have an effect on her reproductive health and the health of her baby. If it’s one of those STDs that can only be treated, not cured, she has to watch out to make sure the baby doesn’t get it. Right down to possibly having a C-section so the baby won’t get genital warts on it’s face or something of that nature the second it’s born.
Sep 5, 2013 at 4:21 pm rating: 11
I didn’t get that impression at all. I think she was following the chronological order of events.
Sep 5, 2013 at 5:13 pm rating: 7
Hopefully she was infected before she was impregnated. Catching something during a pregnancy, especially early pregnancy, is dangerous since relatively benign bacterial and viral infections can cause horrible illness and deformity in a developing fetus.
Sep 13, 2013 at 4:42 pm rating: 1
One day when taking a country highway from the Twin Cities down into NE Iowa, I saw a HUGE sign on someone’s big front yard, naming the guy who’d done her wrong and calling him a lying, cheating bastard. If I’d had a camera back then, I probably would have pulled over to take a picture. The letters had to be painted pretty big in order for me to read the whole thing as I drove by at 50-60 mph. I rarely go that route, only when I’m going to that part of Iowa, so by the time I had to go that way again, a couple of years later, it was gone.
You’re welcome for this pointless post.
Sep 5, 2013 at 4:21 pm rating: 12
H for Toy
This is the second time you’ve told us about something PAN-worthy, but didn’t have the picture of it. In beginning to think you’re a tease!
Sep 5, 2013 at 4:37 pm rating: 17
I AM a tease! BUT: If the boyfriend and I run errands as part of date night tonight, I will ask him to stop at the corner to take a picture of crazy neighbor’s signs on his property! AT christmas, the guy decorates the borders with lights. : )
Sep 6, 2013 at 12:35 pm rating: 6
Life is so Uncertain.
Sep 5, 2013 at 5:08 pm rating: 0
What a slimy douche. I’m glad he’s her ex.
Sep 5, 2013 at 5:15 pm rating: 2
The person who wrote the sign is the man who was cheated on. The person he is describing is his wife, who cheated on him with a man that…
That’s why “she did – but I wouldn’t”.
And enable anonymous comments. We’re not going to be taking any long, warm showers together.
Sep 5, 2013 at 6:42 pm rating: 4
Would you care to explain how a man was ‘left pregnant’?
Sep 5, 2013 at 9:52 pm rating: 14
I’m sure the need to explain such things is what drives Ms. Onymous’ desire to post Ann Onymously.
Sep 6, 2013 at 4:49 am rating: 2
@Dan There are men with uteri.
Sep 8, 2013 at 11:24 pm rating: 0
Some men have more than one uterus? That’s terrifying.
Sep 8, 2013 at 11:38 pm rating: 8
That dog in the bottom right corner of the picture looks pretty interested. Probably because that sign is blocking access to his favorite piss-spot. Which begs the question: why is this sign posted on a bush?
Sep 5, 2013 at 7:21 pm rating: 1
I hope for his sake, the ex-husband swung up to Washington for the 17 year old as 18 is the age of consent in Oregon. This story could get far more dramatic very fast.
Sep 5, 2013 at 7:47 pm rating: 1
Vancouverites come down to Portland to duck the sales tax, Portlanders head up to Vancouver to duck the age of consent.
Sep 6, 2013 at 3:37 pm rating: 5
Yaknow, that was a perfectly good box before she ruined it with her missive. I weep for the box.
Sep 6, 2013 at 4:47 am rating: 2
You are looking at it all wrong. She recycled it into a sign. When the divorce is final, the court will most likely award this sign, and nothing else, to the cheating husband. He will then use it as a nap mat when he’s homeless and living on the street. She gave new life to that old cardboard box. She’s to be commended.
Sep 6, 2013 at 7:23 am rating: 9
But it wasn’t an “old” cardboard box, and it wasn’t “recycled” — that was a brand new box! The little tab that holds the top flaps open until you’re ready to close them is even still intact. (It’s below “WITH” / above “AND” on the second/third panels.)
Sep 6, 2013 at 4:42 pm rating: 0
It was a perfectly good box until it was ruined with an STD.
Sep 7, 2013 at 4:32 am rating: 8
Well that just tears it! My hubby must be slacking, all he leaves me with is a wet butt when he doesn’t put the seat down.
Sep 6, 2013 at 7:02 pm rating: 1
John gets all the pussy. Envious.
Sep 7, 2013 at 4:27 am rating: 0
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
2010: The Funniest Notes of the Year
2009: The Best Notes of the Year
2008: Your Favorite Notes of the Year
Carnivores: keep being awesome!
actually totally reasonable
a little patronizing
clip art catastrophe
flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
landlords and property managers
Moms & Dads
more aggressive than passive
most popular notes of 2010
most popular notes of 2011
most popular notes of 2012
most popular notes of 2013
now that's management
sex sex sex
signed with love
spelling and grammar police
thanks (but not really)
unnecessary "quotation marks"
You call that punctuation?