Drag Queen Problems

September 22nd, 2013 · 47 comments

Spotted backstage at a resort in St. Petersburg, Florida — drama! 

ALL DRAG QUEENS: ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT JOBS AS A QUEEN IS LIPSYNCHING!!!!!! WE HAVE RECEIVED MANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT PERFORMERS NOT KNOWING THEIR WORD. THEREFORE WE WILL BE WATCHING VERY CLOSELY WEATHER [SIC] YOU KNOW YOUR WORDS OR NOT!!!! WATERMELON, WATERMELON, MOTHER FUCKER, WATERMELON WILL NOT WORK ANYMORE. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW YOUR WORDS YOU WILL NOT BE PAID FOR THAT NUMBER!!!! THATS ALL QUEEN.............

Or, as RuPaul put it:

related: Stripper Problems

FILED UNDER: bold-underlined-caps · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · most popular notes of 2013 · spelling and grammar police


47 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Andrea

    Weather or Whether bitches? What is this sign even talking about? Does anyone else think RuPaul seriously overestimates her importance in this world?

    Sep 22, 2013 at 4:23 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   algaechick

      Apparently, someone underestimates Ru Paul’s importance in the world.

      Sep 22, 2013 at 4:32 pm   rating: 132  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   bloop

      He.

      RuPaul is not trans, HE is a gay man who dresses in drag for entertainment value. And yes his over importance is maddening when the media seeks input from him regarding trans issues.

      Sep 22, 2013 at 4:33 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Fredi

      It is a pretty typical thing to mouth the words “watermelon” (and apparently now, motherfucker) for when you are singing and don’t know the words but don’t want to be obvious in not knowing them (ie. singing in a choir or lip syncing).

      I don’t know why this post makes RuPaul over important? The video just shows that lip syncing is important skill for drag queens to have, and someone was “throwing shade” about it. (google it if you want to know more drag slang)

      Also to clear up another point, even though RuPaul is not trans, when she is in drag, she is referred to as “she”, when in plain clothes, then say “he”. So in the video, she’s in drag, so “she” is correct.

      Sep 22, 2013 at 5:00 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   plunk

      Drag queens, when in drag (i.e., performing as women), should be addressed with the female pronoun. When they are out of drag, use the male pronoun. It’s all just part of the courtesy of addressing a person as their identified gender, even if it is just “at that time.”

      Also, seems to me that the RuPaul video is just thrown in for fun because it’s her talking about lip synching. There’s no indication that RuPaul was in any way connected with the note that is the subject of this posting.

      Sep 22, 2013 at 5:01 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Jami

      Considering some drag queens are straight men out of costume I don’t see how this is a trans issue at all. We’re not talking about men who want to be women. We’re talking about men who dress as women for entertainment purposes.

      Heck, I’ve even known some straight men who cross dress for their own pleasure. They enjoy wearing dresses, high heels, and makeup. But when it’s time for sexy times they want to be doing the bedtime mambo with a woman.

      In fact, I think it’s pretty shitty to assume all drag queens/kings or cross dressers are trans. Cause it’s not true.

      Sep 22, 2013 at 5:06 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Roto13

      Drag queens are characters. Female characters. Calling them “he” or “him” is like calling the mother from Hairspray “him.”

      Sep 22, 2013 at 5:40 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   FeRD bang

      RuPaul is, admittedly, a special/tricky case, because RuPaul Andre Charles doesn’t perform under the guise of a wholly-separate persona with an easy-to-compartmentalize Standard Drag Name™. (Tho he’s still performed under guys! AMIRITE? … … … *crickets*)

      Aaaanyway, the lines are a bit more blurred than with some drag queens I’ve known. They switch between their “real life” selves and their on-stage personas by disappearing into a restroom or dressing room, doing a Wonder Woman spin, and emerging completely transformed. (And in a few cases, totally unrecognizable as being the same person.)

      RuPaul, when he’s all bald head, bow ties, and slacks, is a he. RuPaul, when she’s strutting around in a giant blond wig and a dress, is a she. (At least) One of them is just a character that someone’s portraying… we’re just not really sure which.

      Sep 22, 2013 at 6:58 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Nunavut Guy

      Easy call for me.

      Penis= Mr. Vagina=Miss.

      Or am I missing something?

      Sep 22, 2013 at 10:51 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   Nunavut Guy

      This might be more fun than the cat thing.

      Sep 22, 2013 at 10:52 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   Raichu

      Nunavut, what happens when you can’t check to see if you’re addressing the correct organ?

      Sep 23, 2013 at 10:42 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Lisa S.

      Most male cross-dressers (those who do so as part of a sexual identity, but not on a full-time basis, vs for entertainment value) generally identify as ‘straight’ – men who are sexually attracted to women. E.g. Eddie Izzard the comedian. Unless an individual is more transgender and cross-dressing on a more permanent basis to identify as the opposite gender, most prefer their correct sex pronouns.

      Sep 23, 2013 at 10:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   The Elf

      But are they indoor only drag queens? Except when they get let out on a leash?

      Sep 23, 2013 at 8:34 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.13   Nunavut Guy

      I don’t normally address my self to any organ.Eye contact seems to be the way to go.

      Sep 23, 2013 at 9:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   weaselby

    I like to think that “weather you know your words” is the height of subversive and intentional irony.

    Sep 22, 2013 at 4:24 pm   rating: 51  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   FeRD bang

      It’s a subtle ploy to invoke thoughts of the Weather Girls in the minds of all the queens reading that sign — because everybody knows that nothing shames a drag queen more than the thought of disappointing Martha Wash!

      Sep 22, 2013 at 7:02 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   twosie

    No matter what the “weather”, you better not be singing “watermelon” motherfucker.
    You better know your word. Just sayin’.

    Sep 22, 2013 at 4:26 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   21skulls

    “WATERMELON, WATERMELON, MOTHERFUCKER!”

    My new favorite threat.

    Sep 22, 2013 at 4:27 pm   rating: 98  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   hylian90

      This needs to be the next Die Hard catch phrase.

      Sep 23, 2013 at 2:11 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   JN

      You forgot the last “WATERMELON” after the “MOTHERFUCKER.” It’s just not the same with only two watermelons.

      Sep 23, 2013 at 4:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   The Elf

      A drag queen with *three* watermelons is missing one of the essential points of dressing in drag.

      Sep 23, 2013 at 8:33 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   JN

      Not if you’re dressed like that woman in Total Recall.

      Sep 24, 2013 at 10:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   kelly

    Word, motherfucker.

    Sep 22, 2013 at 5:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   kermit

    I’m still trying to figure out how registering a complaint against a drag queen would play out:

    Customer: “Hi, I have a complaint about the performer. They don’t the words to the songs!”

    Night club manager: “…okay, but you know that they’re just lip-synching and that’s not actually them singing, right?”

    Customer: “…er, well I ah…”

    Sep 22, 2013 at 5:41 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Amurana

    I see a few people in these comments have never been to a drag show. They typically perform a musical number where they come out, lip synch, dance, whatever, to be entertaining. When a drag artist comes out and doesn’t know the words? It’s painfully awkward to watch. What is the point of doing a number you don’t know? You wouldn’t like sitting through a play full of actors that don’t know their lines. You’d leave. It’s the SAME.
    So during/after the show when talking to the barman/doorman/whomever about the people you’ve seen that night you say, “I loved how Tasha Long stripped right the way down but (some other queen) was a hot mess. Has she ever heard that song before?” And then the employee reports back, “Hey, (naughty queen) is catching a lot of shade for being word sloppy.” It brings the reputation of the establishment down and just looks bad.
    And yes I’m name dropping Tasha Long. Love her! Any Fl residents about looking for a good drag show check out the Parliament House in Orlando. AMAZING. But wherever you are, if you see Tasha is performing, you go see her. DO IT.

    Sep 22, 2013 at 7:43 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   kermit

      You’re right; I have never been to a drag queen show.

      But as a person who has never been to a drag queen show, I don’t really see the point of them lip-sychiching the words in the song.

      Personally, I would find it a hell of a lot more entertaining if they didn’t mouth the words of the song, but words that look similar. I think it would add a whole new layer of nuance to the performance because it’s an opportunity for the performer to actually express an opinion about the song they’re “singing”.

      But again, this is coming from a person who doesn’t really get the point of drag queen shows that are accurate mimics of Cher, Streisand and whoever else gets impersonated in these shows.

      Sep 22, 2013 at 8:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Nunavut Guy

      Let’s hear from the Texas contingent.

      Sep 22, 2013 at 11:53 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   kermit

      I think we’re all pretty sure that drag queens don’t exist in Texas publicly for fear of being shot. When Lindsay Graham and Saxby Chamblis roll in however….

      Sep 23, 2013 at 12:11 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Rene

      On the contrary, there’s a man in the dinky little Texas town I live in that dresses as a woman. But only sometimes. And “weather” he’s in drag or in men’s clothes, he always looks like a hot mess. I secretly want to give his drag a makeover. But he gives me the creeps on a personal level. He’s kinda Norman Bates-y.

      Sep 23, 2013 at 12:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Jdaniel

      I am reasonably confident that we have them in Austin. This would be the most embracing city in Texas for DQs (and I don’t mean Dairy Queen’s). If fact, I would expect our DQ’s to be carrying concealed pistols like us normal Texans. I suppose they might prefer thigh-high holsters though.

      Sep 23, 2013 at 1:11 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   kermit

      Oh, I’m not saying that they don’t exist; I just doubt that they exist publicly out in the open – in the same way that you would find them in FL or NY. I bet good money that Saxby Chamblis and Lindsay Graham are drag queens in private, though. There’s no way that they’re not.

      Sep 23, 2013 at 7:35 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   sam

      Drag Queens: not the same as men walking the streets dressed as women. Drag Queens are part of a theatrical tradition; nothing to do with crossdressers or transgender people. (Obviously there may be overlap amongst these groups, but a Drag Queen is not the same as someone ‘dressing in drag’ for sexual gratification or as an expression of their true gender identity.)

      Sep 24, 2013 at 5:16 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Scott Hall

    So many questions, so little time…

    Sep 23, 2013 at 1:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Sir Puke

    It sounds like there are a lot of rules for Drag Queens. Best of luck to them.

    Sep 23, 2013 at 2:22 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Mith

    This is like the FUNNIEST note ever! For 2013, anyway. A contest, anyone?

    Sep 23, 2013 at 4:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   sunshynegrll

    Sucks for the drag queen who has to perform to Bieber’s new song ‘Watermelon’.

    Sep 23, 2013 at 10:09 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Fireseeker

    ALL SIGN POSTERS!!!
    We expect you to use proper grammar and spelling or else your sign will be promptly ignored.
    THAT’S ALL ………….

    Sep 23, 2013 at 11:14 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Kittymama

    Now that I know Eddie Izzard is straight, I’m getting a divorce and seducing him yesterday.

    Sep 23, 2013 at 1:23 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Snowflame

      Don’t you dare! Some of us don’t want to risk anything getting in the way of the potential mayoral election debate between Eddie Izzard and Boris Johnson.

      Sep 23, 2013 at 2:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Quite Contrary

    I thought the most important thing for a queen to do is to hoard jewels, acquire closets full of designer clothing (at the designers expense, natch), and wear a tiara. Frankly, this rule applies to all queens, regardless of gender.

    Sep 23, 2013 at 2:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Snowflame

      I think you might be thinking of dragons.

      Sep 23, 2013 at 2:37 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   TRT

    Wait… they get PAID?! I thought it was just for the hell of it.

    Sep 24, 2013 at 5:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Mysty

    They could just mouth “Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formioli.”

    Sep 24, 2013 at 10:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Jane

    This sign was made all the more hilarious because in my head, I heard Samuel L. Jackson screaming ‘Watermelon! Watermelon, motherfucker! Watermelon!’.

    Yeah, I’m up past my bedtime.

    Sep 25, 2013 at 10:13 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   BDC

      Now I’M hearing Samuel L. Jackson screaming “Watermelon! Watermelon, motherfucker!” in MY head and I can’t stop laughing. (Then again, I always hear “motherfucker” in Samuel L. Jackson’s voice when I say it in my head. It always surprises me when I say it and it’s my voice, not his.)

      Sep 26, 2013 at 7:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Neil

    In England our drag queens actually sing, thus making the whole lip-synching problem non-existent. Radical huh?

    Sep 25, 2013 at 1:07 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   kermit

      Dame Edna was (is?) funny. That I kind of drag queen act I get. This other kind not so much.

      Sep 25, 2013 at 9:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     

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