What is it about mothers-in-law and towels?

September 25th, 2013 · 44 comments

And was it one of the “special” towels? (The kind that keep you in indentured servitude for seven years before you’re allowed to marry?)

To whoever stole my big yellow towel,  I am glad you used my towel and have taken it off to be washed. However, that towel actually wasn't mine, it was my future mother-in-law's, lent to me last week. I'd really like to get married one day so if you could bring the towel back ASAP, that would be great

P.S. I’d like to dedicate this post to my brother Danny and his fiancée, Meg, who are getting married this weekend in Minneapolis!

related: Those were the special towels!

FILED UNDER: family · Ireland · stealing


44 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Eliavy

    Douglas Adams would not approve.

    Sep 25, 2013 at 10:24 pm   rating: 66  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Hannah F.

      I ♥ you.

      Sep 25, 2013 at 10:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   redheadwglasses

      I just came.

      Sep 25, 2013 at 10:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   FeRD bang

      That Eliavy is one hoopy frood who always knows where his towel is!

      Sep 25, 2013 at 11:27 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Jami

      I believe this qualifies for Word Of The Day.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 12:14 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   The Elf

      You lost your mother-in-law’s towel?! Time to panic.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 7:15 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Wench

      Time to break out the pan galatic gargle blasters in the hope that the resultant brain damage will mean that future MIL will forget she ever had a yellow towel, much less lent it to anyone…..

      Sep 26, 2013 at 7:43 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Snicklefritz

      So long, and thanks for all the fish

      Sep 26, 2013 at 9:31 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Tesselara

      Elf,
      Don’t Panic.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 11:11 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   The Elf

      But I don’t know where the towel is!

      Sep 26, 2013 at 11:50 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Old Uncle Toe bang

    Just a thought, but if my daughter were thinking of marrying a guy who couldn’t swing 99 cents to buy his own big yellow towel at a Goodwill, then I might have some pertinent advice for her regarding her possible married future…

    Sep 25, 2013 at 10:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Jami

      How do you know the note’s not from a girl? That’s a girl in the mirror, after all.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 12:28 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Germaphobe

    Completely sleeved out by the seemingly communal towel rack and swappage of towels in the first place.

    Sep 25, 2013 at 10:56 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   RedDelicious

      I don’t know how one can be sleeved out. I am intrigued by this. Does it involve sleeveless shirts? Or is it a shirt that once had sleeves but the sleeves were stolen and it is now sleeveless? I must know.

      Sep 25, 2013 at 11:16 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   AuntyBron

      Sleeved out is where you get goose bumps of horror so big you have to pull your arms in from you sleaves and hold them, skin on skin, against your torso to get your arms back up to temperature.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 5:55 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   AuntyBron

      I hate being the voice of reason.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 5:56 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   shwo! bang

    I’m thinking the passive-aggressive in this scenario began with the future mother-in-law: “I can lend you a towel” = “Please bathe so I can breathe freely again.”

    Sep 26, 2013 at 5:25 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Jami

      If only we had towel loaning mother-in-laws roaming the library where I work.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 10:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Lil'

    A towel seems like kind of a random thing to borrow unless you are a house guest.

    Sep 26, 2013 at 8:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   The Elf

    Congrats to Danny and Meg! I hope many people give you special guest-only towels as wedding gifts.

    And remember, always close the cabinet doors.

    Sep 26, 2013 at 9:53 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Snicklefritz

      Why? – if you keep the cabinets open, then you can see at a glance how many towels you have left. Totally necessary to determine if it’s time to trudge down 2 flights of very long stairs to the laundry room, and run a load(s) of towels.
      In my house of you have to use the towels that are totally threadbare and date back to the early part of the millenium, it’s time to do laundry. Why I still have these, is a conundrum for the ages.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 10:11 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Tupelo

      You still have those towels to tell you when it’s time to do laundry. Without them, you’d never know and have to air dry while you wait for the dryer to finish.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 12:22 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   The Elf

      You have the towels for the same reason you have dwarf bread. You never truly feel soaking wet if there’s an old towel in your closet. It’ll sustain you for days.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 12:55 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Amurana

    To commentators that can’t understand why anyone would ever need to borrow a towel or why they can’t just buy their own.
    I am from Florida. There are many opportunities to become drenched in many locations for various reasons. Beach, weather, pools, spills to name a few. Many people carry towels in their cars for this very reason. It’s just something we do. So the following situation is possible: Mother in law picks child and fiancee up for a meal. While out they get caught in downpour. MiL lets them use towels from car to dry off. Fiancee takes towel when dropped off to clean it for nice MiL .
    Also you can use towels for things that aren’t drying off. Maybe MiL had given fiancee something fragile, and fiancee used towel to safely get it home. These are only two examples.
    I want to know what kinds of lives people lead that none of these things would occur to them. That they couldn’t figure out a reason to ever borrow a towel. Too cheap? Really? Too smelly? I think she’d have given soap, not a towel.

    Sep 26, 2013 at 10:45 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   TKD

      Amurana, see thread 1. Every hoopy frood who is any hoopy frood knows the importance of knowing where your towel is at all times. And you forgot to mention that it can be used as a self-asphyxiation device in the event of a spontaneous Vogon poetry recital.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 11:04 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   redheadwglasses

      HA! I belong to a forum that is mostly Chicagoans and Floridians and posted this “everyone in Florida keeps a towel in their car” for that litany of reasons, and 100% laughed and said you’re off your rocker.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 11:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   H for Toy

      What kind of forum do you belong to? “The Forum for Native Chicagoans, Displaced Floridians, and Redheads”?

      Sep 26, 2013 at 12:10 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   H for Toy

      Too bad it’s not “The forum for Nobel Prize-winning Veterinarians”, or we might have settled the indoor/outdoor debate a long time ago.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 12:13 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   redheadwglasses

      Heh. It’s a topix forum created by two different newspaper forums (Chicago Tribune, and a Florida newspaper). I don’t remember how they found each other, but when their own newspaper commenting format changed, they bailed ship and went to Topix.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 12:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Jami

      Gee, I thought all people in Florida had to worry about was snakes, gators, hurricanes, old women named Sophia who start out every story with “Picture this”, serial killers who kill other serial killers, and spies with burn notices.

      Sep 27, 2013 at 11:14 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   redheadwglasses

    Towely is my favorite towel. “Ya wanna get hiiiiiigh?”

    Sep 26, 2013 at 11:51 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   FeRD bang

      I have no idea what’s going on.

      Sep 29, 2013 at 7:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   HumorParasite bang

    To the Passive-Aggressive Big Yellow Towel Note-Leaver,

    By “your big yellow towel” do you mean the one that used to be white and that’s got “Holiday Inn” stencilled on it?

    I.e. your yellow towel that isn’t yellow and isn’t yours?

    Sep 26, 2013 at 12:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   bob loblaw

    I would return the towel, but the bacon strip doesn’t seem to want to wash out. Should I use a different detergent?

    Sep 26, 2013 at 2:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   The Elf

      Errrrr….. You can keep it.

      Sep 27, 2013 at 6:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Paula K

    I’ve heard of this fancy towel thing-MIL is not on this earthly plane anymore, so not sure what she would have been like. I HATE when people have fancy towels hanging & you KNOW you aren’t supposed to use them. I’m a rebel. F*ck it, I’m dabbing my hands dry on your fancy f*cking towels.

    Sep 27, 2013 at 12:14 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Tard

    When my mom died, all the kids got together in her house and used the best guest towels to wash for the week we were there.

    Then, we threw them away when we left because everyone was afraid to take them home…. Just in case there really are ghosts!

    It must be a generational thing.

    Sep 28, 2013 at 5:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   kermit

      So you weren’t afraid that she was going to haunt your for throwing away her mint condition guest towels for no good reason?

      Seriously though, that’s just wasteful. And kinda disrespectful.

      Sep 29, 2013 at 6:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   redheadwglasses

      So you let superstitious beliefs make you discard perfectly good items that at least could have been donated? Odd.

      Sep 29, 2013 at 12:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Belaani

    Tard: Christ Almighty, you might have at least dropped ‘em off at a homeless shelter… if your Moms’ shade had been wandering around looking for her towels, no one would even have noticed.

    Sep 29, 2013 at 6:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Tard

    Dudes, seriously, it was a joke.

    When my mom died, we would have gotten a plague-infested gibbon to sneeze us all dry before we would have used her guest towels.

    Sep 30, 2013 at 10:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   t-dogg

    from that glimpse of a face, you can already tell shes fat. too round, and i know others can tell too

    Oct 1, 2013 at 4:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      Judged on her looks by a bit of hair, a swath of forehead, and half an eye.

      Wow, that’s a new low.

      Oct 1, 2013 at 5:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Cat

    Why oh why did you borrow a single towel from your future mother in law?

    Dec 19, 2013 at 5:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up