What is this, some sort of pissing contest?

← Trash talk I’m detecting a foul odor coming from your general direction. →

October 10th, 2013 · 36 comments

Our submitter spotted this sign next to the door of a video game shop in Australia. “I’m left wondering how often this must have occurred to warrant the sign,” she says.

Personally, my favorite part is the unusual choice of the word making. What exactly is going on here? (“That’s it, Alfie. If you really want Bioshock Infinite, you’d better face the wall and take a piss first!”)

FILED UNDER: exclamation-point happy!!!! · kids · odor · piss · pointlessly self-censored profanity · WTF?

36 responses so far ↓

#1 H for Toy

It’s probably just the outdoor cats.

Oct 10, 2013 at 7:02 am rating: 33

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- #1.1 FeRD
  
  It’s Australia. I don’t think there is such a thing as an indoor cat there.
  
  Also, the outdoor cats weigh 120#, they can tear a man to pieces with their razor-sharp claws and fierce teeth, and at night they slink through the darkness as silent as a summer breeze. Oh, and they are black panthers. I may have forgotten to mention that. Probably should have led with it, my apologies.
  
  (Don’t believe me? australianbigcats dot com is a site run by someone who’s totally not crazy, devoted to compiling the let’s-charitably-call-it-”evidence” of black panthers roaming the Outback!)
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 7:13 am rating: 7
- #1.2 Snicklefritz
  
  Is Bigfoot there too?
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 8:53 am rating: 3
- #1.3 H for Toy
  
  We need to get in touch with that troll from several posts back, whose job it was to shoot feral cats. Get working on the real culprit! It’s the elusive Australian Panther!
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 9:28 am rating: 18
- #1.4 Snowflame
  
  The Elusive Australian Panthers? They were my high school football team!
  
  Oct 11, 2013 at 1:14 pm rating: 8
- #1.5 wright1
  
  I’ll give you full credit when my entry wins this month’s Cool Band Name Sweepstakes, Toy!
  
  Oct 11, 2013 at 10:11 pm rating: 1
- #1.6 H for Toy
  
  YES! I’ve always wanted to name a band.
  
  Oct 12, 2013 at 12:38 am rating: 1
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#2 Christine

Maybe it’s the Australian version of rednecks who believe you pee whenever you feel the urge wherever you are. If there isn’t a bathroom handy, head for the nearest green space.

Oct 10, 2013 at 7:50 am rating: 4

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- #2.1 Dom
  
  That would be a Bogan
  
  Oct 15, 2013 at 3:18 am rating: 2
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#3 Susan

Maybe if they allowed them to use the restroom, the store wouldn’t have this problem!

Oct 10, 2013 at 8:30 am rating: 11

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- #3.1 Kore
  
  They could totally use the bathroom at Netflix.
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 8:47 am rating: 10
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#4 Redheadwglasses

Just a note because I enjoy posting here and the regs really crack me up (especially elf and toy)…

This 45yo nonsmoker, athletic, mostly healthy woman has been given about six months to live, maybe 12-14months if I have a certain genetic mutation that would allow me to take treatment in pill form.

I look forward to this site being one of the things that lightens my mood in the coming months.

Oct 10, 2013 at 9:14 am rating: 31

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- #4.1 H for Toy
  
  We love having you here, and not just because you inflate our egos. I’m sending prayers, positive thoughts and hugs your way. Is there a way to keep in touch with you outside of PAN, other than posting all our personal info here?
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 9:25 am rating: 20
- #4.2 Poltergeist
  
  I sincerely wish you the best Red. You’re one of my favorite posters here and have brightened my day on more than one occasion. Remind yourself every day that there are numerous people out there who have managed to extend their “six months” into many admittedly tough, but also joyous and productive years. Please keep us updated on how you’re doing.
  *hugs*
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 9:56 am rating: 15
- #4.3 Redheadwglasses
  
  When I am back home (I’m on day three in the hospital now) I will post my caring bridge site.
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 10:09 am rating: 14
- #4.4 Lil'
  
  Red, I don’t always know what to say in times like this, but I do want you to know that I will be praying for you. We love you here, and I personally enjoy reading your posts. I will follow your progress on your caring bridge page. I too am sending hugs and well wishes your way. And I’m sure if you have any special requests to help make your hospital stay a little more pleasant, your PAN family will join forces to make it happen. Perhaps ANOTHER cat debate? Sitting vs. hovering? Break room bandit drama? You name it, Red.
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 10:36 am rating: 20
- #4.5 Snicklefritz
  
  Seriously sweetie, that firmly sits in the “That freekin’ sucks” category. Sending you good vibes through the interweb. Hoping in your case that this will end up being one of those miracle cure scenarios.
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 10:58 am rating: 10
- #4.6 weed store
  
  hang in there sug
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 12:32 pm rating: 2
- #4.7 H for Toy
  
  Why don’t you just “request deletion” for that comment? I think it’d better that way.
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 12:38 pm rating: 1
- #4.8 1deprogrammed1
  
  red, that’s all kinds of wrong. Your PAN family is here for ya. Your crazy is an absolute necessity.
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 1:37 pm rating: 7
- #4.9 Tesselara
  
  Redhead, your news made me so sad. I saw your post the other day, and I’ve been waiting to hear more. I was really hoping it would be good news. I am devastated that it isn’t. I’ve always enjoyed your wit, your sarcasm, your expansive, interesting, adventurous worldview. You’d better have that mutation, and I second Lil’s statement–whatever PAN you want, we’ll do our best to make happen.
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 1:49 pm rating: 7
- #4.10 The Gecko Hunter
  
  *hugs*
  Redhead (from a fellow redhead)
  I so enjoy coming here to read your comments, as well as others. PAN, for me, is a little break from my reality, a chance for a quick smile or even a laugh. You have been the seed of more than a few chuckles. I’m writing this while waiting for results of my own. So here’s a suggested topic: lunch-stealing outdoor cats that hover. Keep the faith!
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 2:11 pm rating: 8
- #4.11 Wench
  
  Just wanted to send love, hugs and a huge thank you for all the laughs red…… like all the other PA posters I’ve always loved your work. I’m so sorry you’ve been given such crappy news. I adding my support for Lil’s suggestion about a special request. Good luck sweetie, keep us posted.
  
  Love from Wench x
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 7:17 pm rating: 8
- #4.12 jazzgirl205
  
  Red, you are the one who introduced me to this website from Miss Manners. Stay strong and I will pray for you. You seem so smart and fun. I enjoy your posts.
  
  Oct 10, 2013 at 10:00 pm rating: 3
- #4.13 FeRD
  
  Dammit.
  
  I, too, suck at this sort of thing. (And it doesn’t help that I’ve cut ties with all of my biological relatives — long story, definitely not worth going into — so, without any appreciable family in my life, I’m not likely to get all that much better at it. Just one of many reasons why family is important, kids. Unless they really suck ass.)
  
  Anyway: I suck, useless in situations requiring empathy, yadda yadda. So, having acknowledged that, to redhead let me just say this:
  
  Fuck cancer. Fuck it right in the ear!
  
  Oct 11, 2013 at 3:04 am rating: 8
- #4.14 kermit
  
  Geez, that blows; I’m so sorry Red. Please do let us know if there’s anything that we can do, especially if that task list involves delivering PA notes and/or flaming poop to people you don’t like.
  
  I do hope that it’s just a giant lab/hospital error that will require us to come help you strangle somebody and leave a PA note attached to them on top of a pile of (outdoor) cat poop, though.
  
  Oct 11, 2013 at 6:35 am rating: 5
- #4.15 The Elf
  
  I’m so sorry to hear it, Red. I wish I had something funny to say to cheer you up.
  
  Oct 11, 2013 at 10:53 am rating: 1
- #4.16 hbc
  
  Red, this is hbc from the Wapo boards. Just wanted to say I’m so sorry about your prognosis. I’m a little embarrassed about how much this news has affected me, but I’ll be sending lots of positive thoughts your way.
  
  Oct 11, 2013 at 12:36 pm rating: 2
- #4.17 Snowflame
  
  Very sorry to hear that, all my best thoughts go your way.
  
  Oct 11, 2013 at 1:18 pm rating: 1
- #4.18 Jami
  
  I’ve been battling with what to say – cause all I want to do is curse about how unfair this is and how this should be happening to someone who deserves it like Casey Anthony or Roman Polanski.
  
  And I know that’s probably not what you want to hear.
  
  I just know you brighten this place up, Red, and this fucking sucks. And I just want to run through your lungs and slay it like it was some dragon.
  
  Sorry, I’m awkward with words a lot of the time.
  
  Oct 11, 2013 at 5:48 pm rating: 4
- #4.19 wright1
  
  Almighty Bastet, so sorry to hear that, Red. FWIW, you have my thanks for what you’ve brought to the site.
  
  Oct 11, 2013 at 10:14 pm rating: 2
- #4.20 Gladystopia
  
  jeez.
  That….makes me very, very sad.
  I’ll be sending prayers your way.
  
  Oct 12, 2013 at 1:22 am rating: 1
- #4.21 Lita
  
  Oh holy fishballs.
  
  I don’t comment here more than once in a blue moon, but I DO read the comments, and dammit Red, you’re hilarious and awesome and this is totally not fair.
  
  All the hugs and all the prayers for you.
  
  Oct 12, 2013 at 2:43 am rating: 2
- #4.22 Raichu
  
  I was so sorry to read this, Redhead. Joining in with the others to day: let us know if there’s anything we can do. I’m keeping you in my prayers.
  
  Oct 12, 2013 at 5:05 pm rating: 0
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#5 Parker

I don’t post very often but I love reading the comments. Redhead, you always make me laugh. Sending good thoughts and support your way via carrier kitty – next time you see an outdoor cat, it’s bringing good vibes!

Oct 10, 2013 at 5:37 pm rating: 9

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#6 Redheadwglasses

Wow, thanks so much, folks! Your sweet wordsa re much appreciated!

Oct 10, 2013 at 5:46 pm rating: 22

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