My neighbor, the nihilist

October 13th, 2013 · 49 comments

Hannah in Austin made the poster to the right — inspired by one of her favorite poets, Mary Oliver — and hung it in her window. A few weeks later, she woke up to find that her next-door neighbor had added a piece of his own.

ONE WILD PRECIOUS LIFE  - ONE BORING POINTLESS EXISTENCE

related: I have a problem with your window manners

FILED UNDER: Austin · neighbors · smartass


49 responses so far ↓

  • #1   FeRD bang

    One
    Snarky
    P-AN
    Comment

    Oct 13, 2013 at 9:24 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   pepsidog bang

    An optimist and a pessimist are neighbours…….

    Oct 13, 2013 at 9:45 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Wench

      an optimist and a pessimist walk into a bar…..

      Oct 14, 2013 at 12:25 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Raichu

      …and order a cup of apple juice.

      The optimist says, “Yay! My cup is half full!” The pessimist says, “Damn it! My cup is half empty!” The realist, who has watched the whole transaction, leans on the bar and says frankly, “I think it’s piss.”

      Oct 14, 2013 at 2:59 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Tesselara

      Is that a barometer between those two windows? Between the low pressure on the left and the high pressure on the right, well–the placement of that instrument is…perfect.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 10:26 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   DaveGI

      “an optimist and a pessimist walk into a bar…..”

      The realist ducks.

      Oct 17, 2013 at 4:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Jami

    Maybe that’s his way of saying to cut down on the loud parties?

    Oct 13, 2013 at 9:49 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   FeRD bang

    I’m curious, BTW, whether Hannah’s poster is actually made of physical holes punched/drilled into the paper. Because, if so, the neighbor’s may actually be a comment on her obviously-excessive amounts of free time. :-D

    Oct 13, 2013 at 10:12 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Red Delicious

      So because you make something cool that means you have too much time on your hands?

      I’ll be sure to let the other artists, film makers, beer crafters and chefs know your opinion.

      Oct 13, 2013 at 10:14 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   H for Toy

      Maybe she used a paper piercing tool to do it, in which case, her life wouldn’t really be pointless, would it?

      Oct 13, 2013 at 10:25 pm   rating: 99  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   jd

      Red Delicious sounds insufferable.

      Oct 13, 2013 at 11:57 pm   rating: 50  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Skyle

      Red Delicious apples are the worst apples. More like Sweet Sawdusts.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 1:33 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Lynne Donovan

      who put the worm in your apple this morning?

      Oct 14, 2013 at 7:05 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   The Elf

      Congress.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 11:40 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   L

      …because it’s totally not fun to stab things repeatedly.

      *cough*

      Oct 14, 2013 at 2:42 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   shaneski

      That’s just a dot-matrix normal font.

      I remember doing something with that font in way back college – when we didn’t have personal computers (those rub off letters)

      Oct 15, 2013 at 11:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Redheadwglasses

    My friend had a party and encouraged each friend to write down a secret that they’d never told to another person, and told them how it would be used. Then every night, he broadcast one secret in such a way that passersby outside could read it on a screen on this big picture window.

    The night the secret was “I dated a man I knew had committed rape,” he got a brick through his window.

    Oct 14, 2013 at 12:37 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   The Elf

      He almost deserved that brick too. If you’re going to do some sort of Post Secret-esque “art project” you really need to have a disclaimer on the next window.

      I think if I were at that party, my secret would be “My friend has a really bad idea, but I don’t want to be the party pooper to tell him.”

      Oct 14, 2013 at 10:40 am   rating: 66  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Lil'

      That secret is so disturbing – I really hope it was just made up for dramatic effect. I cannot imagine letting myself date a man who would do such a thing. My friend dated a guy who ended up raping another friend of mine after their break up. He got off on a technicality, but my husband insisted that I stay away from him, not that I would go anywhere near him after that (he had done some work for us around the time we found out, so we had been in touch). The rapist admitted the contact, but tried to claim that my friend, who was bedridden and heavily medicated following a complete hysterectomy, had asked for it on her first night home from the hospital. The coward skipped town after he got off. I cannot imagine knowing he did that and thinking, “Everyone deserves a second chance. I’ll go out with him.” But there will always be a woman willing to date scum bag, even when she knows.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 1:10 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   H for Toy

      Good Lord, Lil! No woman will request sex after major surgery! I hope the law, or karma, or a sadist caught up with him eventually.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 1:58 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Lil'

      It’s been around 4 years ago, and it looks like he has escaped justice in this life – at least as far as criminal charges go. My friend has given up pursuing charges. She does take some comfort in knowing that he is gone and probably too paranoid to come back. Before he left, he was working just walking distance from her job. She was looking over her shoulder every single night. I hope he’s still looking over his.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 2:34 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Raichu

      That makes me so angry.

      Rapists should go to jail. Period.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 3:09 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   redheadwglasses

      Like my ex (whose FIL was retired Air Force) said: “You have every right to burn the flag. And I have every right to kick your ass if you do it in front of me.”

      Incendiary actions beget incendiary reactions.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 10:39 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Kimberly

      There are woman who pursue convicted murderers in prison. I don’t know if these woman think they can “fix” them or what but it is disturbing.

      Oct 15, 2013 at 11:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   Poltergeist

      Well your ex was wrong. Flag burning is legal in the USA. Physical assault isn’t.

      Oct 15, 2013 at 12:57 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   The Elf

      Yes, and just like the brick throwing, it’s still understandable. One does not have to condone criminal behavior to understand and agree with the reasoning behind it!

      Oct 15, 2013 at 1:30 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   poopypants

      Er…. Rapists shouldn’t always go to jail. It’s a very complex topic, and a large amount of rapes could actually be prevented through proper education (many rapists don’t actually realize they’re raping). This is in large part because most rapes aren’t violent movie rapes, but the result of pressure or too many drinks.

      I think it grows especially complex when both people have been drinking. Neither can give consent, but neither is also in the right frame of mind to determine what the other is capable of. One the one hand this can excuse drunken rapists, but on the other, what if a person gives consent while drunk and the first is too inebriated themselves to filter out whether it’s wrong or not?

      Like I said, tricky subject, black and white answers aren’t always the best.

      Oct 16, 2013 at 1:21 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   Redheadwglasses

      Elf nailed it.

      Oct 16, 2013 at 6:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   Poltergeist

      The only time it could possibly be a black and white issue is if both people were very drunk. Otherwise, no, “I didn’t know I was raping her” is not an excuse. If you don’t know what rape is, then you’re too stupid to be having sex.

      And I get Elf is saying, but wording it as “I have every right to…” is simply a false statement. If you had every right to, it wouldn’t be illegal.

      Oct 16, 2013 at 12:07 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   Poltergeist

      *non-black and white issue

      Stupid iPad won’t let me edit :-(

      Oct 16, 2013 at 12:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   Littlest Hobo bang

      Poopy Pants, really? The law is (in the UK at the least) if someone is too drunk to give “informed consent” then rape it is. No ifs no buts. No means no. End of discussion. You can’t say there are some parts of rape that aren’t really rape. WTF?

      Oct 23, 2013 at 1:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   TRT

    One Capitol Hill…

    Oct 14, 2013 at 4:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   zenvelo

    One person’s Wild and Precious is another’s Boring and Pointless. Maybe they both need to get the hell out of Austin.

    Oct 14, 2013 at 6:51 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   C

    I can almost hear the *womp wommmmp* of the sad trombone.

    Oct 14, 2013 at 8:15 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Zichao

    Team nihilist.

    The relentless positivity we get rammed down our throats every single damn day makes me want to open my wrists.

    Oct 14, 2013 at 8:16 am   rating: 49  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   The Elf

      Yes, this exactly. The crap everyone has to deal with would be easier to bear if there wasn’t someone else saying “Smile! Cheer up! Count your blessings! It could be worse!”

      I’m sure it could be worse. But that doesn’t make this particular chunk of crap any less stinky and messy.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 10:43 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   The Gecko Hunter

      As long as we all remember that life is an ever swirling, sucking eddy of despair, in an ever darkening universe, with no hope for escape, it’s much easier to take.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 1:40 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   1deprogrammed1

      I want to open that happy twit’s wrists. Then I’d smile.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 3:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Raichu

      I don’t know, I rather like the poster.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 3:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   RCat

      Team Suck it the F**k Up. Nothing whinier than complaining and wrist-slitting about positivity.

      Oct 15, 2013 at 11:34 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   The Elf

    Why is the poster’s background half white, half black? Is his glass half empty? Or is he illustrating the deep pit of despair his soul has fallen into?

    Oct 14, 2013 at 10:49 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   HolierThanThou

    They’re both tacky. Take ‘em down –The landlord.

    Oct 14, 2013 at 11:14 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   1deprogrammed1

      Team Landlord. Yay. Whatever.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 12:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Rattus

    The word “precious” should only be used to describe gems, metals, and emotionally retarded adults.

    Oct 14, 2013 at 12:54 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Gecko Hunter

      And things with which The Church Lady disagrees.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 1:42 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   sunshynegrll

      And little white poodles.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 6:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Poltergeist

      And Gabourey Sidibe.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 7:58 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   The Gecko Hunter

      And the one ring to rule them all.

      Oct 14, 2013 at 9:28 pm   rating: 52  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   redheadwglasses

    Bored? Check out the latest post in the previous PA note submission (stinky roommate). I had remembered a story about a stinky person and it was too much to type on my ipad, so I finally did that this morning. : )

    Oct 15, 2013 at 11:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up